The Blank Slate

by disneylover3212008

Ashleigh Crawford awakens in Fury's office with no memories and a strange tattoo on her arm telling her she needs to join someone named Coulson. She's pretty sure she's an Agent with a purpose, but is nowhere to be found in any database. She will now travel with the team trying to figure out just what the hell is going on and what she's meant to do to "save him". AU Series Fitz/OC

21. Stranger Danger

Stranger Danger

So there were a lot of reasons a little over a week had passed since my conversation with Hannah and yet Fitz I think remained as clueless to how I felt as ever- though it certainly did not stop the feelings from continuing to grow full speed ahead. Probably because I hadn't even come close to broaching the topic with him. It could be chalked up to a lot of reasons other than cowardice, though perhaps some of the moments were indeed ignored out of a fear of saying anything. It was just complicated. Annoyingly complicated. And there were a lot of things pulling my attention too many ways to keep everything balanced- honestly, not just as an excuse.

One such thing was actually the little jaunt Agent May and I had taken through the woods together. It seemed to have a side effect that I never expected- one that was making my bruises nearly double daily at the moment. And that doubling came from the fact that my time training with her had doubled in the evening as well. Things ached I never knew could ache. Everyone knew to have the ice bags on hand when I emerged from the training room- Skye often holding one out to me as I emerged as she read her research of her possible mom on her tablet. Or if it wasn't her it was Ward- smirk on his face that I wanted to punch off every time he did. Once I even fell onto one of the chairs in the lab while nursing a split lip and unintentionally almost caused Fitz to get his ass kicked as he swore to give her a talking to about roughing me up like that. Simmons and I barely managed to talk him down with our combined efforts, but eventually he seemed to realize this was just how my training was going to be now. May was no longer messing around.

She was finally starting to take me seriously in fact.

She didn't say that of course. May hardly spoke during our sessions other than barking out orders and once offering a slight comment that could be construed as a compliment if I squinted. When she had been training me before I had felt like a tool. She was molding and shaping me so I could live up to the words on my wrist- fulfill my purpose. She would teach me and then maybe when the time came I would maybe stand a slight chance. But now- now I was a person to her. I wasn't just something to mold- I was someone to teach.

There was much more respect in her actions, regarding and teaching me to be an Agent. It seemed our actions in the barn had created something between us that she couldn't ignore. It was almost like we had unexpectedly been through hell together and emerged stronger due to each other to no one's surprise more than ours. And it had made her realize something. She seemed to understand now that she was capable of depending and counting of me for such circumstances. We worked together much easier now- thoughts and actions mixing together in a much more cohesive fashion. We started needing words less and less as we grew closer as weird as it seemed. I knew her nowhere close to Coulson, but I felt like I knew her better than the rest of the lot. I feel like I got to see a May in our training session that no one else did. I saw the one who actually wanted to be part of my team now that I had measured up.

And all this meant expanding my thinking from just fighting and building my strength in punches and kicks to working with her as well as we might be need to in the field- learning a couple of tandem moves that with a large degree of practice we could maybe pull off together. My personal favorite was her sweeping her leg out at her assailant while I jumped over her to kick them same attacker in the chest before rolling off to the side for the next strike. I had yet to stick the landing, hence the split lip, but I was getting better. And that was all she seemed to look for- moving forward even if it was extremely slow.

The other new part of our time together was the fact that she trusted me enough to put a firearm in my hand- something I knew would never come about unless she trusted me completely. I had not fired it yet, more time being spent on learning the ins and outs of every part of it. It also involved learning how to hold and aim it- every part of my posture critiqued and adjusted and held until my muscles were screaming. She wanted me to know what I was doing, a very understandable desire when putting me in the field with something that could do an awful lot of damage. I needed to treat the situation with every degree of maturity I had… and not just pull it out whenever Ward pissed me off. It wasn't allowed to leave the room with me just yet, but I was hopeful that if we continued on at this pace the day would come sooner rather than later. And then I could really advance leaps and bounds in my capability to keep my team safe. I was ready to have something to back my words up when they failed. May actually seemed to have more faith in my abilities than I myself had actually. I was still worried about hitting a foot when I was going for the chest honestly.

Cheesetauri was still always present at my hip and I was adjusting to his weight and presence just as much as he seemed to be adjusting to getting tossed all over the place. It hardly seemed to faze him at all these days- he just sat in there nibbling on the cheese I provided before I walked in. It was starting to become normal life for him.

So not only was I spending more time with May but I was spending more time recovering from what May was putting me through. I swore I was using most of the hot water trying to soothe my aching muscles in the shower. Thankfully, no one had revolted about that yet. I also spent more time in bed, trying to get some of that energy back through short naps. It really cut into my options for asking Fitz the question that constantly dwelled in my mind in free moments.

The second thing was actually that we hadn't had the opportunity to hang out alone since he had given me the notebook like I felt this conversation needed to be held in. Skye and I hadn't even had our chance to play with the hologram table yet even. I had looked for the opportunity for both, but Simmons seemed to always have a job that needed the both of them in the lab. Or when it wasn't the lab it was something that needed to be looked over. Coulson seemed to have a desire to get to the bottom of Centipede these days now that our Thor-inspired distractions were over and a lot of new things were in development so we could be ready when we faced them again. Things that always seemed to require Simmons being with Fitz and for his head to be very focused on the science he was conducting. It was at the point where I heard him muttering equations in his sleep from the bunk next to me like a skipping record repeating the same parts over and over. Sometimes I'd smack the wall just to jolt him enough to get him over the two numbers he kept repeating. In some ways it was kind of soothing to fall asleep to though, knowing he was right on the other side of the wall. And thinking that just served as another sign to the fact that these feelings were not fading any time soon.

He still felt horribly guilty every time I saw him though. He wasn't saying it out loud, but there were moments of hesitation when he had to reach around me or went to put a hand on my arm or back. He would just freeze before shaking his head clear and proceeding. I wanted to call him out and lecture him every time he did, but I knew it would do no good. He just needed time to forgive himself. Maybe that was another reason I was holding off- if he said yes I didn't want it to be out of some obligation created by his own guilt. I wanted it to be real.

It wasn't just me though so I tried not to be paranoid. Simmons was keeping the both of them from practically everyone at this point. They both had missed our game of Scrabble that even Coulson would put in an appearance for. Ward, Skye, and I started watching The Lord of the Rings without them despite the fact it was their idea to do those next. I had been willing to wait, but they insisted we go on without them. Those were also a huge drain on time, because my God were they long. Very good, but long. Ward didn't seem too interested, but sat through all three helping me wrap my mind around some of the more complex moments. I think part of it was spending time was Skye naturally, but the other part seemed to be this desire to just be around his team members more. He had slowly been becoming part of the group and the transition seemed to be reaching its final point now. Where before he wanted nothing to do with us- now he wanted to be around us and have human interaction. And he did it with a smile on his face.

So my interactions with Fitz had generally been very surface and very brief. I'd run down with his breakfast and we'd have a brief chat about what they were working on or the movie I had watched the previous night. But then he'd insist on going over to help Simmons who was working on things outside her realm and needed him before she electrocuted herself. And then I'd stand there for a few moments while they lapsed into the fast talk that I couldn't understand even if now I was capable of hearing them all. I'd excuse myself and stop be a few more times just to say hello, both of them giving me a smile and a wave before returning to work.

Part of me wondered if Simmons could somehow sense what I was trying to do- a real paranoid part of my brain myself and Skye insisted I don't listen to. She still treated me in exactly the warm, friendly manner she always had. We were friends and this idea that she was trying to make Fitz choose between the two of us was absolutely ridiculous. Like I said the two of them were generally keeping themselves isolated from everyone- it wasn't just me. I needed to stop making this all about me. It was just bad timing was all and I would almost get sick of my own thoughts when they drifted in that direction. I shouldn't be thinking this way about one of the only friends I have. So I desperately tried to push them out of my head, but they would always come creeping up the next time Simmons was calling Fitz over.

Next was keeping Skye sane. It seemed like every day now she would come running up to me in my bunk flashing a picture of a new female Agent who could have been the one to drop her off- the one who could be her mom. I spent countless hours comparing features between her and the picture of the day, speculating what could have possibly happened that she needed to be left so suddenly. It also meant I had to be the one to reign her in at times when she seemed to go a little overboard, reminding her that this was all just speculation. It seemed like I broke her heart a little every day at this point, but I didn't know how else to be a better friend. I wanted her to have hope, but not to get it up so high that she would end up disappointed. I didn't want her to give up, never, but I did want her to take it slow and be sure before she became too attached to someone. I didn't want her to get hurt.

One day I stopped by her bunk to hear her listening to a girl singing about growing up and staying little forever. She lay on her bed just staring at the ceiling with one of the most somber reactions I'd ever seen her wear. So I did the only thing I felt I could do- laid down right next to her and spent the whole afternoon just listening to song after song by this girl- some upbeat and some absolutely breaking your heart. It was the only time Skye allowed herself to be hopeless about the situation- those few hours. And I made sure I was right by her side for the whole ride.

When she finally sat up and patted my knee with a smile before pulling out her computer I knew she was right back into it again. Her moment of wavering had passed and now she was not going to stop until she got to the bottom of this. I don't know where Skye got her endless optimism from, but it was pretty inspiring. I listened to every thought and theory, weighing in and talking through things with her. We didn't seem to be any closer, but we didn't plan on stopping anytime soon.

After that day, I bought everything that girl we had been listening to, Taylor Swift, had ever sung, even though Skye told me she was a guilty pleasure and I might be mocked for liking her. I downloaded it all onto the music player Coulson had provided me with and soon had all the lyrics memorized as I listened to them pretty much on repeat. I hoped he wasn't starting to regret giving me unlimited funds for music. He hadn't mentioned it yet at least. And I thought of Skye every time I listened to it and let her determination rub off on me as I put in the extra time punching that bag and building myself up.

Johnny Cash was still my favorite though by a large margin.

The final aspect was actually something I hadn't been expecting in the slightest. Upon learning this whole future business, May had promised to try and get in contact with Hill for a meeting with Fury. I don't think the three of us expected anything to come of it. Which was why I was surprised when Ward walked in a week after dropping off Hannah to a training session between May and I with a very serious expression- though it didn't stop him from observing with a raised eyebrow as I managed to catch May a little off guard and nearly get a hit in.

"What can I do for you, Ward?" I asked, tossing May her water while I chugged from mine.

"Coulson needs you up in his office right now," he informed me in a tone that made the urgency clear. I nodded, using a towel to wipe off my sweat quickly. "He has the Director on the line, but he only has a few minutes before 'more pressing matter than the Crawford girl' need his attention." With that, I moved even faster and practically sprinted up the stairs. Getting this audience was a big deal and I knew it. I didn't want to miss my window, knowing if I did it would be near impossible to get another one.

"I'm sorry, Coulson, but I don't have time right now to discuss the matter… even for you," I heard the booming voice from the screen before I stepped in, unusual softness to it. "We're still dealing with the aftermath of Thor right now around the world it seems. You know how that is better than most."

"I certainly do, sir," Coulson replied, clearly disappointed. "I would like to speak to you when you have an opportunity though about something important to me."

"It's noted, Coulson." I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. It sounded like Coulson was having difficulty getting his questions answered whereas Fury seemed to talk to me as soon as I needed him. And here everyone was claiming Coulson was the Director's favorite. That didn't add up to me in the slightest, unless he had really odd ways of showing his favoritism such as by ignoring the person completely.

With that, I knew I couldn't afford to hover anymore and stepped into the office. Fury, eyepatch just as I remembered him, locked his eyes on me as soon as I stepped in front of the screen. I then realized I was probably soaked and wearing a tank top with shorts, mouse strapped to my hip in his ball. I must have been quite the sight to a man used to everyone dressing to impress him.

"I heard you only had a few minutes," I said in way of an answer. "Didn't want to waste a moment of your time."

"And I heard you've been looking for me," Fury responded, moving on. "How's probation suiting you?"

"Completely uneventful," I lied, sparkle in my eye. "Haven't left the Bus."

"Shame really," Fury nodded, a small hint of a smile there. "It seems that has made Agent Ward work so hard it almost seems like he's in two places at once according to the reports crossing my desk."

I shrugged, unable to hide my smile now. "What can I say? He's a very talented Agent." I then knew I needed to get to the point. Who knew how long I had. "I wanted to speak to you about where I think I came from, sir."

"Hill mentioned as much. May seemed to convince her it was important enough that we see each other in person rather than her relaying the message. So I can say I'm quite looking forward to what you have to say. It's not often someone has me in suspense."

Funny, he didn't seem to be in suspense. He seemed to be as calm and collected as ever. I almost wondered if he knew exactly what I was going to say. "When I spoke to Agent Sitwell in what was a meeting on his part I'd like to remind you- "

"Crawford," Coulson nudged me back on track. "We've covered this."

"Right. Anyway, he mentioned that he ultimately came to a theory about how I was able to arrive in your office- one he said he had presented to your skepticism." Fury didn't say anything. "The one that afterwards you shut down investigating me." Still nothing. He was going to make me say it. "The fact that he believes I came from the future."

"That theory- "

"Was beyond your ability to believe it, I know," I cut in, needing to get to the point. I need to lay it out. "I told him as much. But then Randolph, the Asgardian professor said that he knew from the moment he met me I was out of my time. That I seemed to have a big sign on me that screamed I was from the future. And what had once seemed ridiculous… actually kind of started to seem possible. And it might have been a waste of time to call you about this, but I get the feeling you might know something. And that's the real reason you shut down the investigation, because you didn't want Sitwell to be proven right… for my sake or for yours or for some great big scheme you've been cooking up."

"I'm sorry, Miss Crawford, but I cannot- "

"I deserve to know," I cut in once again, fists clenching. I was not in the mood for his games at this point. Coulson put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. "This is my life- one I cannot remember a lick of. It has been months, but there is still nothing. It's not coming back," I admitted my deepest belief. "It won't ever come back. If you can help me… it's the right things to do, sir. Because your secrets may have secrets but I'm not going to be one of them. Not when it comes to something that may affect my capability of fulfilling my mission." I glanced down at the tattoo. "I thought I could just drop this and move forward with who I was now. Be an Agent. But now the mission I was sent here to do… it might be more important than I realized if this much trouble was taken. So I need to understand me first. I get that now. I can't save him unless I know what's really going on."

He was silent for a long minute. I was honestly waiting for him to just dismiss me and hang up. I kind of deserved it after that outburst. I was in hot water as it was, but here I stood accusing him of lying and demanding answers. But I was fired up. Skye's determination to get to the bottom of things now seemed to be flowing through me too now.

"While Agent Sitwell was doing his investigation, I had another group working on analyzing something interesting we found in my office one day." I realized I was holding my breath as he continued. "It was particulate that had been found by myself, though the scientists didn't know where it came from or the case it pertained to." Fury, you two-timing minx. "The results were startling, so we compared it to particulate on the shoe of a person I suspected to be involved in the matter." He was being his usual self, steering us in circles rather than being straight, but any information was appreciated. "They matched perfectly. The results, unfortunately, were destroyed though. And it seemed pointless to do anymore research. The subject was thus closed at my order."

I crossed my arms. "Unfortunate indeed."

"I still have the sample locked up though," he made my heart stop. Like literally stop. My arms fell back to my side like limp noodles. "I'm not saying I want the case reopened, but I would be willing to submit it for your analysis. Any conclusions you draw would be yours alone and not entered into any official form of S.H.I.E.L.D. records."

"We would appreciate that very much," Coulson answered for me.

I nodded, but felt myself hesitating. "Director… why are you going through all this trouble to protect me? What are-?"

"I have to go," Fury announced, making it clear I was never getting the answer to that question. "The sample will arrive to your landing location in the next day. Have Fitz-Simmons take a look at it." He leaned forward just a touch. "And Miss Crawford… just know that answers can be both a blessing and a curse. It is your right to know, but now it also becomes your responsibility when you understand." And with that cryptic outburst he hung up, leaving myself and Coulson staring at a blank screen. I turned to him, eyebrows furrowed.

"It just doesn't make any sense, sir. The more I think about it and what I could be…" I faltered, trying to find the words to express my thoughts. "He…he seems to think I'm not important. He doesn't care what I get up to with the team in the slightest. But then why is he going through all this trouble of hiding things? Why is he doing all this for someone so unimportant he shut down the case? Why does he answer when I of all people call?" I put a hand to my head. "He's making everything so confusing."

"He has his reasons," was the only answer Coulson offered.

"Are you telling me that… or yourself?"

He smiled sadly. "Both of us I suppose." He then went over to his desk. "I'll let them know where we plan to land so that sample can arrive and make sure it takes priority in the lab."

"Thank you, sir," I nodded. "I know we've been hard at work developing methods for Centipede, so I appreciate you taking some time to help me out."

"It's not a problem."

"It still means a lot. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go try to land a hit on Agent May. I'm getting closer than ever and I think I might just have something."

"Have fun," he called after me as I started back down the stairs, passing Ward as I entered the living room.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"Better than I expected. Though I think we're going to find out the full extent in a few days." I started away but paused. "I'm so close to hitting her," I addressed his attention earlier. "It took a while to figure out, but I think I might be able to land a hit in the next few days if my luck holds out." I couldn't help from smiling at my pride in myself.

"Go get her," he encouraged, sending me off.

I didn't land the hit that day, but I came really close.

The sample came the next day and Coulson promptly took it down to the lab. I managed to get a look when Fitz-Simmons had their backs turned with something overheating, but it just looked like a handful of rocks to me. I don't know what we were supposed to gather from looking at them. Skye seemed excited beyond belief- making Simmons chase her away when she nearly opened the bag to look at the 'future rocks' as she called them up close. Fitz seemed pretty excited as well, though he said the test was much in Simmons's realm than his. He would come and grab me the moment they knew something though. I would just have to wait I suppose- hardly getting any sleep that night even with Fitz muttering next to me.

The next day I threw on one of my button-up sweaters, a striped tan and yellow one, and laced up my sneakers with my hair tossed up in a ponytail. Cheesetauri was attached to my hip, nibbling some cereal I had scattered in his ball. I took the longer way to the lab with two bowls of cinnamon oatmeal I had prepared myself in hand, descending the metal staircase of the cargo hold. I reached the bottom just in time to see May handily flip Ward onto his back, bringing a smile to my face.

"Glad to see someone's capable of showing Ward how it's done," I quipped, glancing to see the lab was curiously empty- tools and experiments scattered haphazardly on just about every surface. I don't think I had seen it like that in weeks.

"Keep running your mouth and I will show you how it's done," Ward shot back, smile on his face not making his threat intimidating in the least. "Unless you think you can take me?"

"Maybe one day I will," I rose to the challenge before holding the two bowls up. "But it is not today and I acknowledge that. Where's Fitz-Simmons?"

Ward shrugged as he started to his feet. "Nice feint," May complimented him. "I read your file. I know you favor your left."

"That's in there?" he questioned, stepping towards her. "What else?"

"I would like the answer to this as well," I chimed in, noticing Ward take a step away from her and look down. Weird. "Anything I can exploit."

She shrugged. "Nothing that's news. You don't play well with others."

I came up next to Ward. "Well, you do have to admit he's made excellent progress. See how he's tolerating the fact that I'm standing next to him right now- he's really turned things around and I applaud him."

"You're ridiculous," was all Ward offered on the subject, mood seeming to have returned to normal. "And if you can't find Fitz I would be happy to take care of that for you." He reached for the bowl, but I twisted away.

"Go make your own. This is Best Friend oatmeal, reserved for persons who answer to the name of Lee."

"Towel down," Coulson ordered from above us before Ward could speak again. "I need all of you in the command center in five."

I saluted the two with the bowl still in my hand, having an idea where my genius had vanished to. "Duty calls. See you two in five." I started up the stairs slowly, nearly spilling one of the bowls on the way. I proceeded to the command center to find just the three people I was expecting.

I stuck one of the bowls in front of Fitz with a smile. "Don't complain if it's cold. If you were where you're supposed to be…"

"We have a mission briefing," he countered, taking it from me and starting into it immediately.

"No excuse," I shook my head before starting on my own breakfast. It wasn't Pop Tarts but it would have to do. "Not bad if I may say so myself." I looked up to see Skye staring me down. I rose an eyebrow and she just nodded towards Fitz. I knew it had been a mistake to tell he my plans. I shook my head and she let out a sigh just as May, Ward, and Coulson entered.

Our leader took the front and faced us, glancing at Fitz and I having our breakfast. "I feel like you two never stop eating."

"We need the fuel," I answered with a full mouth.

"We work hard," Fitz backed me up with his mouth full as well. Coulson just shook his head before hitting a button on the holocom to display a video on the wall behind him as well as on the table. It seemed to show a normal meal at some sort of prison before suddenly the ceiling started to fall in at various point.

"Whoa," I gasped in a mix of shock and awe, leaning forward. Ward stuck a hand out to keep me from tipping the bowl as well. "Thanks."

"At 08-00 hours, three men infiltrated the Havenworth federal penitentiary," Coulson began, stepping around the table to stand beside us.

"Infiltrated?" Skye questioned. "More like cannonballed." I had to agree. It seemed to be a little more than necessary.

"They were in an out in less than two minutes," Coulson continued detailing. "Left no prints at the scene, but we do have one lead." He threw a zoomed in shot up on the screen, revealing a very familiar orange device implanted in one of the gentleman's arms.

"Centipede," Ward spoke up before anyone else could. Looks like we meet again.

Coulson displayed some pictures from our previous mission, including one of Chan. "Seems the salvaged some of their research from Hong Kong," he agreed.

"Has the scientist we captured there said anything?" I inquired.

Coulson nodded. "We know the plan was successful in using Chan's platelets to solve the combustion problem we encountered. Other than that, it seems she wasn't let in on their ultimate plan."

"Now they can create super soldiers with no fear of explosion," Simmons said almost in amazement, earning a nudge from her other half.

"Maybe don't get so excited about it," he warned her.

"Two of Centipede's labs have been destroyed, but they keep popping back up," Coulson reminded us with wariness and a hint of exhaustion. "Now they have at least three of these guys, maybe more."

"Who did they break out?" May inquired.

Coulson threw a picture of a larger, grumpy looking bald man up on the screen. "Edison Po, former Marine- expert in tactics and rapid response. He fell off the grid in '08, reappeared eighteen months ago at a diner in Boston."

"Where he stabbed a friend's eyes out," Ward read, eyebrows rising.

"With a steak knife," Coulson added. "Then finished his meal."

Fitz glanced down at his half-finished bowl. "Well, I'm not hungry anymore." I snatched it from him then, shrugging when he shot me a look of shock as I started into his.

"More for me."

"Po doesn't look crazy," Skye questioned, earning a look from all of us. Fitz seized this moment of perplexed silence to steal his bowl back from my hands. "I'm kidding. The guy is a walking mug shot." Good. She still had her sense about her.

"Which means he shouldn't be too hard to track down," Coulson replied. "Finding Po and these Centipede soldiers is a top priority for S.H.I.E.L.D. We'll be running point, but we won't be working alone."

Oh, I don't know if I liked that. I only trusted six people and they were all right in this room. "What team did HQ send for back-up?" Ward asked curiously, obviously flipping through options mentally.

"Not a team… a person. Someone who can help us fight fire with fire."

"I swear if the next words out of your mouth are Sitwell or Hand I'm jumping off this plane," I felt compelled to add, mind fearing the worst.

"She probably will," Skye and Fitz voiced at the same time.

"It is neither of those… thankfully," he added.

"Is it someone that we know though?" Skye asked.

Coulson cut right to the chase. "It's Mike Peterson."

Silence. Like creepy silence. May was staring Coulson down, Ward and Skye were reeling, and Fitz-Simmons seemed to be running all the ways this could end up with us dead. It was a pretty long stretch of creepy silence at that. And I always felt the compulsion to be the one who broke creepy silences.

"You mean the one who gave me a concussion with a van door?" I let that sink in for a moment before speaking again, voicing my disbelief. "That Mike Peterson?"

Coulson sighed. "He's been in training just as much as you have, Agent Crawford. We all made mistakes at first." And just like that I was out of this fight. I couldn't argue with that.

"We had to shoot him," Fitz reminded him. "And now they… they want us to just let him hang around with us… the ones who shot him."

"The ones who saved his life," Coulson countered. "There will be no negotiating on this. I'm going to talk to him and then once he has arrived and we have re-supplied with everything we need we will depart. While I'm gone I want Skye looking into Po and anything we can use to find him. Fitz-Simmons, look into the Centipede soldiers and what we know about this new formula." With that he started out of the room. "And remember, treat him with the courtesy you would any other Agent. You are representing myself. Crawford- "

"I will keep the kids in line, sir," I agreed, knowing where this was going. With that he departed to get our guest- someone who definitely wasn't even close to my trust list. I mean I know that whole ordeal wasn't his fault, but excuse me for being wary when last time I had a freaking car door slam into my brain. Outside the virus I think it was the highest on my list of injuries- boy, it was a long list.

"I don't understand how you're as new at this as I am and yet you get to be the oldest kid who babysits," Skye commented as she leaned against the table and pulled me from my thoughts. May took her exit and Ward followed, probably to get himself cleaned up and ready to fight Peterson for even looking at any of us funny.

"I just have an air of maturity about me is all," I smirked, earning a fond eye roll from Simmons.

Simmons! The sample! I had forgotten with all this excitement.

"Jemma, what did you find with what Fury sent us?" I inquired and suddenly all eyes were on the scientist. Skye and Fitz were clearly just as curious about the topic as I was.

She looked down. "I'm sorry Ashleigh. I know Coulson said to do it as soon as possible, but I haven't even had the chance to touch it yet."

"Oh," was all I uttered, feeling my heart sink.

She stepped up to me, putting a hand over mine. "I swear as soon as this mission is over that I will make it my primary focus. I will do nothing until I get to the bottom of Fury's intention to send it to us." I looked into her eyes for a moment, seeing nothing but sincerity, before nodding. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you like this."

"It's okay. It's not that urgent anyway," I pulled her in for a hug to show her I wasn't angry in the slightest. I could understand the idea of having no time when there was something I kept putting off as well. To do anything other than accept that would be hypocritical.

"You're too kind," she pulled away with a sad smile. "I'm going to the lab to start digging. I will see you in a bit." She exited the room with a look at Fitz and Skye went to follow, probably intending to about to her search.

I went to do the same, intending to wash these bowls out, but was stopped by Skye barring me. She nodded towards Fitz, who was still glancing at the screen with interest. No. Not now. I furiously shook my head, earning a hard look from her. No. I held the bowls up, but she merely snatched them and turned me around hastily. She cleared her throat loudly, causing Fitz to turn our way, and then shoved me into the room before disappearing.

I took a few steps forward, mind literally screaming. Play it cool. You could do this. It was just you and Fitz- a completely normal situation. This was how you wanted it. I walked up to the table and tapped it a few times absently as I worked how to do this. "So… alone at last?"

That was absolutely the worst. Literally the worst. And I had somehow made it a question… God I was an idiot.

"I know," he laughed. Then he got that familiar frown- the thinking he's let me down frown. "I'm sorry. Things have, uh, been busy in the lab. The last thing we want is to be unprepared when we go against Centipede."

"It's fine Lee," I made clear. "You're doing what you can to keep us safe." I held up my wrist. "I could never fault anyone for that."

"Still… I promise you and Skye will get to work the hologram table once this mission is over and we have a free moment. Hopefully, we'll get to the bottom of things and, uh, Centipede will be behind us."

Free moment. Wait. That sounded good. "I have a favor to ask." I took a breath. "The serious kind."

He was instantly somber, knowing I didn't say those words lightly. "Name it."

"When this mission is over, you and I… I have something I want to ask you. Something I've been trying to ask you for over a week now. But it's something I kind of need your… full attention for and I really… haven't lately. Not completely. But again that's not your fault. And it wasn't urgent or anything." I was pretty sure I was just sputtering now. "But it's a private, personal thing and- "

His hand grasped mine. "Ash… the second this mission is done you and I will stow away somewhere no one can find us and you can… ask away." I felt my cheeks heat up and I prayed he didn't notice. "I'm sorry I've made you wait this long."

"Like I said… it's not urgent. Don't fret too much, okay?" I went to pull away, but he held me in place.

"On the off chance Mike Peterson… if… he's not going to hurt you again. I promise."

He was absolutely sincere. I could see it on every part of his face. And I felt a surge of hope at this conversation we were going to hold after all this. "I know," I answered, squeezing his hand. I pulled back then, hand going through my hair. "You're too good for me, you know that?"

"I think it might be the other way around, Ash," he responded as I backed out of the room, heading straight for Skye's bunk. She was one her computer looking into Po and I dramatically fell onto her bed.

"I didn't ask." I heard a huff and rushed to get something in before the lecture started. "But I did give myself a deadline. We are having a private conversation as soon as the mission is over. And he's so serious that there's no chance of me backing out. So there's that at least."

She paused, seeming to mull this over. "I suppose it's progress." And she went back to her research as I stared at the ceiling, but not before taking her tablet and hitting a few buttons so the room was filled with the sounds of Taylor Swift. It was the perfect kind of music for these moods really.

After about an hour of not finding much on Po and keeping Skye on task rather than drifting back through files on her possible mother, the two of us got a little restless just sitting around and made our way back to the command center to check on things. Fitz-Simmons had returned and it seemed Ward had freshened up and was now reviewing a video. I stepped up next to him to see it was of Mike Peterson and the girl he had first saved. The video that started everything.

"It's not good," he voiced, throwing it up on the larger screen. The man was clearly in a mood. "At all." And I agreed with him completely, but it was hard to ignore how his evidence wasn't helping his case. So I gave him a look, gesturing to the fact he was literally saving someone before our eyes, and he got a bit defensive. "The guy was a ticking time bomb I'll have you recall… literally."

Fitz shook his head. "HQ wouldn't have sent him if he was still combustible. They must have found a way to stabilize him somehow?" Skye placed her head on her chin in contemplation.

"They stabilize his attitude?" Ward questioned. And though the man had good points he wasn't getting them across very well.

"He was a hostile back in Union Station," I added. "The kind that threw van doors at people."

Simmons groaned. "This again. Alright, it's not like we haven't opened up our doors to other people… people with questionable track records," she added with a look at Skye and myself.

"Point made," I put my hands up, surrendering. "I will stop with the van door."

"Not cool, but true," Skye conceded as well. "And don't worry about Mike. He's a good guy."

"Who's been in the Centipede program," Simmons bolstered her words.

"Exactly," Skye continued their rally. "He can give us some superpower backup."

"You did spend more time with him than anyone," I recalled, allowing myself to be slightly won over.

"Yes," Simmons agreed.

Ward didn't seem convinced as he spoke though. "Just saying, this could easily go sideways."

I crossed my arms, drinking the Kool-Aid and joining the Peterson Party to a degree. "So could a lot of things. We practically live in sideways."

Ward failed to notice a very nicely dressed Mike Peterson enter behind him with Coulson as he continued his thought. "I mean, the last time we saw this guy, he was a raging homicidal maniac…"

I made a slashing gesture against my throat for a moment while clearing my throat, and Ward stopped as he noticed everyone's attention had drifted to behind him. "He's standing right behind me, isn't he?" All we could do was nod and slowly Ward turned to face the man he had taken down.

Coulson spoke proudly as he addressed Mr. Peterson, gesturing to each of us. "Mr. Peterson, this is Agent Grant Ward. He's the man who shot you at Union Station." Ward just stared. "Fitz-Simmons designed the weapon he used." The two of them gave small waves in tandem. "Crawford was injured in your struggle when you fled."

I stepped up and shook his hand, forcing away my previous feelings. I had to trust Coulson on this one. "It's a pleasure to meet you properly." I saw him glance down at the mouse. "This is Cheesetauri. We're a package deal these days. Don't worry about the concussion thing. If I had a dollar for every time I got injured I would be Tony Stark." He smiled kindly at me, putting me slightly more at ease. He seemed very different at least.

"And I think you remember…"

"Kidnap victim," Skye gestured to herself with a chuckle. I couldn't help but do the same. Man, that all seemed like so long ago. Back then Skye was just a stranger in a van and now… now she was the closest thing to a sister I had.

Mr. Peterson looked at her in shock. "You joined S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

Skye fiddled with her sweater, a bit awkward. "Yeah. Turns out, guys in suits… not so bad." That's my girl.

Mr. Peterson now looked us all over, taking a deep breath to steady himself. Here we were nervous to meet him, but he seemed more scared of us. "Look, I know Union Station could have gone another way. Another team might not have let me out of there alive." Oh. I'd hate to think of that. "I owe you… all of you."

"That's bygones and water under a distant bridge far away," Skye quipped with a laugh. "How's your son?"

"Still with my sister. He thinks I'm working construction, but he's good… happy."

"Good," I repeated, patting him on the shoulder and trying to put him more at ease. It seemed to work a touch, though I think Ward's hard stare wasn't helping.

"So, what do we have?" Coulson inquired of Skye.

"Not much on Po," she admitted. "I checked his previously known addresses and old military contacts… came up empty."

Coulson pondered this. "We've been looking for where Po might be on the outside. Let's look at his life on the inside… at the prison. See if that gets us any leads." He turned to Fitz-Simmons then. "Anything on the Centipede soldiers?"

"We found a facial recog match on one of them," Simmons informed us. I had no clue what that was, but I could take an educated guess.

"Name's Brian Howard," Ward continued. "Stationed in Afghanistan for three years, then fell off the radar when he got back." He threw up a picture of an average man in uniform- like perfectly normal.

"Only living relative is a sister, Laura," Simmons threw up a picture of a nice blonde girl. "We found out that she is currently a Sophomore at the University of Ohio."

"She's our best shot at finding Hayward," Coulson caught on as he turned to Ward. "You and I will take Crawford and go talk to her." Alright. Here we go. "Have May set a course for Cleveland." Ward headed to do just that. "The rest of you are dismissed for now. Skye, keep looking." And then he was on his way to his office while Fitz-Simmons took off for the lab and Skye started typing away at the holocom. I turned to Mike and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Will you be alright here with Skye? Or can I get you something?"

"I'm fine right here."

"Okay then. Give a holler if you need anything." I proceeded to the lab then, pulling up a stool next to Fitz as he soldered away at something, making me put on a pair of goggles as well. He seemed to be working on some sort of monitoring device while fabrics were scattered across the rest of the table. I felt one and was surprised at how sturdy it seemed. He must have been making a suit of some kind. Simmons was over in a corner typing away frantically at a computer- glancing at me for a moment before going back to work. It was pretty much silent in the lab and I found myself somewhat hesitant to break it.

So I looked this way and that, trying to keep my mind occupied with what I could say to Laura when I met her that wouldn't totally freak her out. And then I couldn't help but notice something on one of the tables that caught my attention. It was the bag we had received from Fury, but something was different about it.

I slowly rose to my feet, trying not to draw attention. "Where are you going, Ash?" Fitz asked immediately. "I was hoping to show you the fabric I put together for a suit for Mr. Peterson. It has ten layers of treated materials. Ten!"

"Just… taking a tour about the room to stretch my legs. I'm just not in a sitting mood. I will be right back though to hear all about it because I cannot wait," I answered sincerely. Fitz talking science to me seemed to make him unbelievably happy, and I was all for Fitz having that smile on that lit up his entire face. It made my heart melt every time. He nodded, going back to his work as I went around the outside edge of the room. Apparently this kind of behavior from me wasn't odd. Interesting.

I tried not to come to a full stop at the bag, just pause for a moment as if noticing it for the first time. And my suspicions were immediately confirmed. The bag had to be about half empty from what we had received. I glanced over at Simmons, trying to get a peek at what she was working on. Maybe this is what had her so focused. Of course I couldn't understand any of it.

"Any results yet?" I asked to get her attention. When she turned to me I gestured to the bag. "I can't wait for the exciting news." She was just staring at me, making me feel a little awkward. "Future or bust," I tried, pumping my arm.

"Ashleigh, I promised you I would look at that sample thoroughly when this mission is over. Right now I'm pretty wrapped up in Centipede's formula at the moment."

"But…" Something wasn't making sense. Someone had been in this bag. But I held my tongue. Maybe someone had dropped the bag and spilled some. There was no reason to start pointing fingers when I had no clue what was happening. I would just end up causing trouble where it wasn't necessary because there had to be a logical explanation. I was being a bit paranoid. Simmons wouldn't lie to me, especially about this. "Never mind. Sorry for bothering you." She ducked back down, but I noticed her glance my way as I sat back down next to Fitz. "So… ten layers?"

"Yes," he placed the fabric in my hand. "It's a polymer blend. And it will also be able to monitor his vitals in the field."

"I've said it before, but you are a genius." He waved his hand at me and I looked up to see Simmons staring in our direction. She abruptly turned back when I looked up though.

"It's not that impressive."

"More than I can do." I reminded him. And there it was, the smile.

"I just need his measurements. Coulson said he'd send him down."

"Oh, he was actually by Skye when I last… I stand corrected," I changed course as Mike entered the lab, now dressed more casually in a mere t-shirt. And even I had to admit, it accentuated his features quite nicely. Though it seemed I was more the lean type than muscular if my one-person track record was anything to go by.

"I heard you were looking for me," Mike addressed the two scientists politely. Simmons nodded and pulled away from her computer to approach him. I noticed that she paused at a drawer to grab a tape measure.

"I'm going to take some measurements," she informed him with a coy smile. Oh, she was definitely checking him out. This was going to be fun. "You seemed to have changed quite a bit since we last saw you."

Mike nodded. "I have to put away four times what I used to just to keep my energy up," he rattled off happily, oblivious to her reaction.

"Uh," she tried to put her head on straight, wrapping the tape measure around his torso, "and after you use your strength?" I chuckled to myself, glancing over at Fitz to say something. But I stopped at the look on his face. He looked downright annoyed at what was happening.

He pondered this for a moment. "Maybe ten times the food? I usually crash afterwards." Simmons pulled back from him and Fitz started towards her with a fierce determination. "It's really hard on my body."

Oh please don't let him be jealous. Please don't shatter my hope just yet. Please don't make this conversation awful when it hasn't even begun.

"Hard body," Simmons repeated distantly. "Got it."

"You know we have equipment that can take measurements," Fitz spoke up as he stepped up beside her. There was an edge to his voice that I couldn't read because it was hidden under trying to seem casual. "No need to do it manually."

Simmons laughed to herself as if just realizing this. "My mistake. Well, no matter. I'll send the numbers to you straight away." She started for her computer only for Fitz to follow her the few steps.

"And you say I've been unprofessional lately," he huffed so low I almost missed it. And then he put the smile back on his face and went back over by Mike before she could argue. I could sense the tension of him and had no clue what to make of what had just happened, so I made my way over. "I need, uh, I need measurements to build you a diagnostic suit so we can monitor your vitals in the field." He started hitting his tablet a little harder than necessary.

"It's a polymer blend with ten layers of composite material," I informed Mike proudly, trying to get Fitz back on track. "It's pretty awesome. Lee makes awesome things for awesome people."

Mike smiled. "It sounds awesome." He nodded towards my hip. "I'm guessing he's responsible for that as well then."

"Indeed he is," I patted the hamster ball. I turned to see Fitz was staring at Mike's arm- the one that still had the metal structure clipped to it was orange liquid moving about. "Lee?"

He snapped out of it. "Uh… sorry. I'm sorry. I was… I was just looking at it, and…"

"Oh no," Mike clearly didn't take offense as he held the arm up. "It's okay. I'm used to it. They tried to take it off me at the Sci-Ops facility. Realized they couldn't do it without killing me."

Fitz stuck his finger out to touch it, but I was quick to bat it away. "I'm afraid we're terribly curious," Simmons rejoined the conversation. "How did they stabilize the Extremis in you?"

"And keep you from exploding?" Fitz added.

"Yeah," Simmons finished. The previous moment between the two of them seemed forgotten in the quest for knowledge and if they were trading sentences than Mike was really in trouble.

"Oh, that wasn't them. That was you two."

The two of them let that sink in before speaking at the same time. "Come again?" "What's that?"

"Your gun," he explained, looking between the two of them. "It somehow froze me right at the moment I was about to explode. Helped my body absorb the serum. Stabilize." I was beaming now myself. "You weapon saved my life."

Simmons scoffed. "Well…"

"All that, and it didn't leave a scar. Like she said, awesome."

They both started sputtering, clearly flattered. "Like I said, awesome," I managed to get in between their sentences, hoping it registered with the two.

Fitz stopped talking to give me a smile but Simmons continued. "It would be a shame, especially when you're so, well, formed and symmetrical." And I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. Oh, I wished Skye was here. "And wh…when did you stop talking?"

Fitz gave her a look. "About three embarrassing sentences though."

Simmons took a deep breath. "Yes, right." And she started laughing just a mine tapered off before moving back over to her computer. Fitz went back to his bench and I followed with a wave to Mike.

"Are you okay? You and Simmons… it seemed tense for a moment there."

"Just something we're working through in our partnership," he offered simply, tone clipped. "It's between us really."

"I won't pry," I vowed. "I was just making sure you're alright, Lee. I'm here and willing to talk about anything if you need it. I actually do so much of the talking it would probably be good for us." Even if it was about his feelings for Simmons. That situation had not helped my perception on what was going on between them, but it shaken my confidence about after this mission.

His face softened quite a bit and I felt the Bus starting to descend under our feet. "You'd better get ready to head out," he reminded me, voice infinitely softer as he continued his work. "Come back in one piece, you understand? No injuries. I'm already stressed out as it is about this whole Centipede business."

I don't know why I did it. I really don't. Usually I see the compulsion and I knock it flat, but here I just let it go. I simply acted, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I will stay out of trouble the best that I can." I immediately realized my action and my eyes went, but tried to play it off as normal as he just stood there no longer moving. "Which means you should take my measurements to have the cast ready when I get back." I was red now, but at least he wasn't looking at me to notice.

Had I seriously just- I was an embarrassment. A plain and simple embarrassment.

I managed to run off before he even reacted with a quick goodbye, slipping out the lab door to wait for the guys in the cargo hold. I did glance back once and he was rooted right where I had left him aside from one difference.

His hand was on the cheek. And not like wiping it off in disgust, but holding it there as if pondering what had just happened.

Mike exited a moment later, glancing back at him as well. "You two make a cute couple."

I waited for the doors to close to speak, though softly enough they wouldn't hear us through the glass. "Oh, we're not a couple. We're just friends," I corrected. And I don't know why, but I opened right up to him with my next remark. "I'm honestly hoping I can change that after this mission though."

"Well, based on what I just saw I don't think you have to worry about what he's going to say at all." And he gave me a hearty pat on the back before starting up the metal staircase. "I'd wish you good luck, but you won't need it."

You couldn't have wiped the smile off my face if you tried.

XXX

Coulson had suggested I drive the Jeep and I carefully navigated my way towards the University while Ward glanced through something on his tablet in the backseat. Coulson would gently adjust things I was doing- such as my hands on the wheel and made sure to compliment me on my improved braking. He even turned on some Classical music on the radio and seemed to get lost a bit in it- it was pretty soothing and relaxed me somehow.

"'Psychology of Women: Unraveling the Female Psyche'," Ward said suddenly with a degree of bafflement, breaking his relative silence.

"That's an actual book?" Coulson glanced back at him.

"It's a whole course. Hayward's sister's in there now."

Coulson glanced at the GPS. "We'll be at the school in ten. We'll catch her on her way out." We sat for a minute before I laughed, earning their attention.

"I'm sorry, but a whole class on women? Is that really necessary?" I asked. "We're not that complicated. At least the few I've met."

"I disagree on that," Coulson gestured for me to turn. "But back in my day solving the puzzle and putting the time in to figure them out was half the fun."

"You solve a lot of puzzles in your day?" Ward inquired. I groaned.

"Please don't tell me we're playing this game," I cut in.

"Morally opposed?" Ward was smiling at me from the back.

"No. I just don't remember so we'll never know who the real winner is. I could have got around wherever or whenever I came from."

"Maybe you did," Ward agreed, though with the smile on his face that meant he didn't believe me at all.

Coulson shook his head. "You would have been too focused on the mission you were about to undergo- about making sure everything went smoothly for everyone. You're not the type even if you have drastically changed since back then."

I shot Ward a playful glare as I stopped at a stop sign. "Thank you, sir."

"And to answer your question, I have solved a few. Some more worth it than others. One was… especially rewarding."

Well, now this conversation had my interest. "Do tell," I prompted. "What happened?"

"I died," he answered simply, bringing the whole mood down a touch.

"Oh," I muttered, focusing back on the road.

"I guess she wasn't Level Seven, sir?" Ward spoke up.

"She was a cellist," he spoke with clear pride, letting us into a very personal part of his life. Uncharted waters for anyone but May, really. "Second chair, Portland symphony. Saw her play whenever I was in town. Ever see a beautiful woman play the cello? It's something else." He was almost somewhere else now, nostalgic smile on his face. That certainly explained the music choice. "She laughed at my jokes, too, which was a very nice bonus."

"She sounds like she was a keeper," I agreed.

"Do you know where she is now?" Ward asked what we were both thinking.

"Of course I do." And I felt my heart break.

"I'm so sorry this became your life," I hoped were the right words as I said them. "I know it wasn't what you were expecting when you signed up for an adventure with Avengers. You lost a lot and just know that the team… we are thankful every day we know the truth and have you by our side. We're here for you just as much as you are for us." And he didn't answer, but the hand on my arm with a squeeze made his sentiments clear enough.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Ward pushed, seeming deep in his own thoughts.

"I was gone for months," Coulson answered. "The Avengers thought I was dead, so I had to keep that up… S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol. It's probably better this way."

"I doubt that," I disagreed. "If you made her as happy as she seems to have made you… I'm sure she would disagree with that sentiment. And I don't need some course to know that."

Ward didn't seem ready to let go yet. "Maybe if she had been part of the agency…"

"In my experience, that's just asking for trouble." I felt my hands tighten on the wheel slightly as the words hit me. Was he trying to say something? Did Coulson know? He had to know. Everyone knew it seemed. Oh no. Was he disapproving? Was this his way of disapproving? I hadn't thought about what Coulson might think. Focus on the road. Focus on the road.

"But I've seen times where it worked out," he continued, almost as if sensing my discomfort. "Sometimes it's clear that things will work out and it would be a shame if they let their jobs stand in their way. This life can be lonely… for some more than others. It's good to have someone by your side you can absolutely depend on because of how much they care about you, and maybe the fact that you share a world makes it possible. So I won't completely discredit it." He seemed to turn so he was looking right at me. "I just prefer cellists personally."

My grip relaxed. It looks like I had Dad's approval after all. He wasn't exactly being subtle, but he was somehow once again saying exactly the type of encouragement I needed to hear. Now we just needed to finish this mission so I could actually go for it. Not that not having it would stop me though. I mean it would make things rougher but- focus on the road. Focus on the road.

"Not exactly very subtle in your meaning, sir," Ward almost laughed.

"It wasn't intended to be," he made clear. He paused before speaking again. "I do notice what is going on with my team though, even when they think I don't. And even though I shouldn't, I show favoritism in how I want things to end up." We pulled into campus and he pointed to a sidewalk. "Park along there."

We came to a stop in front of campus and Coulson handed me a card- a very thick card. I was still reeling a bit, but it was clear I needed to get serious now. Because it looked like I was the one getting sent in. I pulled my hair from my ponytail, pushing it over one of my shoulders. "Are you sure about sending Crawford in, sir?"

"Absolutely."

"I've got this," I told Ward, handing him my ponytail holder. I gestured to the dash where Cheesetauri was balanced in a cup holder. "Hold my things and watch my mouse."

Coulson gestured to the card. "You're going to approach her and inform her you're looking for her brother because he won the lottery. Make sure she takes the card. Use a fake name. Use that winning smile. We need her to call her brother as soon as possible."

"Got it. Got it. Got it." And for the last one I just beamed before unbuckling myself and jumping out of the car. I approached the middle of a quad area, looking around for any sign of Laura, pulling up her picture in my mind. It took me a few minutes, but eventually she passed my way and I practically ran up to her. I put on my bubbliest voice as I spoke, planning to play to my suspicions. "Laura Hayward! I've been looking for you!" I then pulled her in for a hug.

"Um, hello," she seemed extremely put off, pushing away. "Do I know you?"

"No actually," I pretended to realize, hoping I wasn't falling flat on my face here. "I'm Peggy, Brian's girlfriend. Or at least I was. It's all very complicated right now." I slapped my forehead, just letting my mouth run. "Oh, I must have scared you. Stranger tackling you out of the blue. I'm sorry. He had told me so much about you I feel like we're friends already. He talks all the time about how you're going here."

"Wow," she looked around, almost nervous. "Is-is he here… with you?" Just like I suspected. She hadn't seen him since he got back judging by the way she was acting. Perfect. I had everything I needed now.

"No. No. I just… I know things have been rough between the two of you since he came home from Afghanistan." She gave me a look that made it clear I was understating it. "He just… he doesn't want to talk to you until he's got everything put back together. He tells me that every time I bring you up- which is often. He's worried you won't love the person he's become- that you won't see him as your brother anymore."

"That's not possible," she made clear. This girl clearly loved her big brother. "You need to tell him that. Because I miss him and even if he's not ready to see me… a phone call would be nice. Just to hear from him."

"That's why I'm here. We had a fight," I pulled her onto a park bench and took her hands. "One of those nasty fights where I can't remember what even started it because it had been building for so long. And I hated leaving, but I had to. I want to support him and help him through this transition, but he just… he makes it difficult." She nodded, reflecting on her own experiences. "And he won't answer my calls or when I stop by. Not being with him doesn't mean I don't worry about him. It's been nearly a week now and I'm out of my mind in worry." I sighed. "That's why I came here. He's not going to call either of us. And he isn't answering me. But I think- I think if you called him he might just answer. And I hate putting this on you, but I need you help with the man we both love." I squeezed her hand. "Because you want to save him as much as I do."

She nodded, nearly in tears. "I'll- yes, I'll call him. I will check on him."

"Thank you." I pulled out the card Coulson had given me. "May I have a pen." She handed me one and I scrawled a number on it. "I think this is my new number. I changed phones, so it's still a little rough in my memory." I handed it to her and she instantly took it. "Keep in contact, okay?"

"I will." I hugged her again.

"Thank you. I'm so glad I tracked you down."

This time she returned the hug. "You clearly love him a lot."

"We both know he's the greatest man there is." I pulled away but kept my hand on her shoulders. "I hope you can talk some sense into him."

"I hope so too." I rose then and she followed suit. "And I hope… I hope you two work it out." I started to proceed for the car. "Peggy as in Peggy Carter?!" she shouted after me. Wow. I was not expecting her to get that at all. Here I thought most of the world had forgotten about her- by her own design of course. Founding a secret organization didn't exactly keep you in the spotlight.

I turned back to her, beaming. "What can I say? My dad was a fan of Captain America."

"So was my grandfather," she pointed to herself. "I think that's why Brian went into the Army was his stories about him." She paused for a long moment in thought, then gave a last wave and started down the sidewalk, wiping away the tears she hoped I didn't see. I sighed as I made my way back to the car. Hopefully, I had done enough to maybe save this relationship. I could live with lying if I did that.

I climbed back into the driver's seat. "That seemed to go well," Ward complimented as he extended my ponytail holder. I grabbed it and threw my hair up.

"He went into the Army because he was a fan of Captain America," I reported. Coulson was looking at the tablet he had brought. "I think I know how Extremis was able to get his number," I said with clear disgust. Centipede was being deceitful and praying on people- tearing families apart in the process. I couldn't wait to bring them down for good and get Brian home.

"She's making the call," Coulson reported. "Good work." I leaned over as the tablet tracked where it was being made to.

"Is he local?" Ward inquired, unable to see from the back.

"No," Coulson shook his head. "He's in Oakland, California." I knew now it was time to get moving so we could get the Bus up in the air. I made a turn and started back the way we came, going just a touch over the speed limit.

"Skye found a familiar woman visited Po in prison," Coulson brought me up to speed. "She was the woman we encountered when we went after Chan and Peterson says she recruited him into the program as well."

"So she picks the people for the program," I thought through. "Which means she must have wanted Po and was willing to do a lot to get him out with that breakout."

"We suspect she wants him to lead the soldiers," Ward confirmed. "His background is tactical strategy after all."

"And he's crazy enough to work for the bad guys," I added.

"That too."

We arrived at the Bus pretty quickly and disembarked from the Jeep. Skye was there waiting for us as the cargo ramp moved upward. May must be preparing for launch already. "I've looked through everything we have," she reported to Coulson. "I could not find mention of a Clairvoyant anywhere."

"Keep looking," he walked past her. I clipped Cheesetauri back onto my belt and went up to her.

"Clairvoyant?"

"Po mentioned them when he was talking to Raina in prison, the recruiter," she addressed my confusion.

I was taken aback. "We're fighting a psychic too?"

"There's no such thing," Ward reminded us both. I rolled my eyes.

"You're telling that to the girl who might be from the future."

"Might," he highlighted as he stepped past. Skye went back to typing away at her tablet and after a pat on her shoulders I made my way up to the cockpit to join May. I could use some thinking time about all of this.

Instead, I promptly took a nap instead, recovering some energy lost in my sleepless night. I got the feeling I was going to need it.

XXX

I woke up after we had landed, May already gone. They must be prepping if she had let me sleep- that and it was another sign of how fond of me she was growing. She would never have left me up here alone before- probably nervous I would touch something and blow the Bus up. Which seemed possible for me really. I stretched a bit and stared out into the bright sky for a moment before making my way through the Bus towards the cargo hold, but not before stopping in the kitchen for a Pop Tart and some cheese.

I walked into the lab to see everyone admiring Mike Peterson who stood tall in his newly completed suit. I went to join them, but felt myself pausing as Simmons's computer when something caught my eye. It was on the desktop, but a folder sat in the top corner labeled 'Ashleigh's Particulate Results'.

Now maybe she had created the folder preemptively. It was a reminder of what she needed to do when all this was over. I couldn't read that much into it.

Except then why did the folder have papers in it. The picture of the folder didn't have papers unless there was something in there.

It was locked too.

Stop. Stop. This was ridiculous. Simmons wouldn't-

Crunch.

I glanced down and had to grab the counter when I realized what I had stepped in. It was the particulates missing from the bag. They were scattered about her area as if someone had sneezed and blown them all away.

As if someone had been shocked by the results and dropped them.

All the pieces clicked together and despite my trying to find another solution, there was only one that made sense at the moment.

Simmons had lied to me. At the very least about touching the sample. And at the most… she had the answer and was keeping it from me.

I didn't have time to process though, forcing myself to steer away from her area and make my way out to join the others where they had gathered in a circle.

"Well, look who decided to put in an appearance," Skye laughed. "We were almost planning on leaving you here at this point." She glanced down at my Pop Tart. "Glad to know you have all the supplies you need though."

"Sorry," was all I muttered, I think surprising everyone. I was now getting looks of concern from all around the circle.

There was a beat before Coulson spoke. "Well, you came just in time to receive assignments. That's all that matters. "Ward, May, you'll go in through the west entrance. Mr. Peterson and I will enter through the loading dock. You all will run the back end from outside- Crawford is in charge." He looked at me and I just nodded, trying to get my head in the mission. "Is something the matter, Crawford?"

I shook my head. "No, sir. Just… waking up."

"Because I can have Skye manage while you stay- "

"I'm fine, sir," I cut in, though I don't think I sounded very convincing.

"We're doing this just us?" Skye cut in, clearly trying to have my back. "We've been playing whack-a-mole with these guys since Ward first picked me out of my van. Shouldn't big S.H.I.E.L.D. be sending in backup?"

Coulson nodded towards Mike. "Trust me, they already did."

"Let's move," May addressed everyone, moving towards the vehicles. Fitz instantly fell into step next to me, nodding at Skye behind him.

"It's nothing," I said instantly. I handed him the Pop Tart. "You can have this. I'm not hungry right now."

"Ash," he clearly disagreed. I climbed into the van with Fitz, Skye, and Simmons following. And just like that, I was almost in tears. "Is it- did you remember something? You're trembling right now." He put a hand on my arm.

"Not now," was the only answer I could give as Simmons was staring right at me looking just as concerned as the rest of them. "Not here. I just… I'm sorry guys. I'll get my head in the game for this." I moved to the passenger seat, Skye taking the driver's. I looked up to see her staring at me. "I'm not okay but I'm going to be."

"I guess I'll take it," was her response before starting the van after the others. The drive was quiet aside from Fitz-Simmons chattering as I tried to refocus my priorities. I needed to be there and protect my team. I pulled myself over my mental hump, forced my feelings to the backburner as May had taught me, and made my way over to where Fitz-Simmons and Skye had pulled up their computers once we came to stop.

"How are we looking?" I inquired.

"We're ready," Skye replied. "Good to have you slightly back."

"We're not dropping this though," Fitz also made clear. He handed me back the Pop Tart bag. I tore into it, unable to deny my rumbling stomach.

"I know," I said with my mouth full, unable to get mad at either of them for their concern. "But right now we need to focus. I need to keep all of you out of trouble as the official babysitter of this team." I watched as our four teammates exited their vehicles. "Because it looks like we're headed in."

"You know he has you look after us because he trusts you," Fitz turned to me real fast. "It's a compliment. He knows you've got things under control and won't let anything happen to us."

Normally that would have made me feel a lot better, but all I could see was Simmons shake her head out of the corner of my eye. I forced my attention back on Fitz, punching him in the shoulder. "Thanks, Lee. I know. I could just… use a reminder every once in a while."

"That's what I'm here for. You're the babysitter and I'm the babysitter's morale booster." I couldn't not laugh at that and it felt good. It allowed me to get some positive energy running back through my system. Leave it to Fitz to solve the problem without intending to.

The others monitored their computers as I snacked, waiting for any word over the intercom system. Suddenly, it buzzed to life and Coulson's voice came through. "We alone here?" he asked.

Simmons did some quick typing. "It appears so." We glanced at a weird twisting blob I could not decipher. "The only heat signatures we're reading are yours."

"But there's a weird electronic signal," Skye reported, earning my attention on her screen. I was able to make out even less. "I'm trying to isolate it."

"Thank we're too late?" Ward's voice came crackling through. Great. Maybe I had done too good a job and had tipped this whole place off. I focused on the screen with the layout of the warehouse, four blue dots blinking back at me.

"Fitz, dial Hayward's number. Find out." Fitz immediately did just that, ringing echoing through the van. I clutched the chair in front of me, completely on edge now. Something wasn't right.

Just like that, a yellow dot appeared in the middle of the screen. "Sir, you've got company!" I shouted, hoping to warn them in time.

"Yeah, we do," I heard before a loud screech made all of our hairs stand on end. The fight seems to have begun. And just like that a second yellow dot appeared right by May and Ward.

"How are they doing that guys?" And then there was a third one making his way as well. The only sound coming over the intercom was that of grunts and cries.

Simmons was shaking her head, typing frantically. "We have no idea," Fitz answered for the both of them. Things were not sounding good in there. I took up position by the back door, ready to be the first one to strike if they came for us. I doubted I would last a minute against three super soldiers, but I might be enough of a distraction the others could get away.

"Skye, if they come out here start the van up," I ordered. "You leave even if not everyone's here."

"That's not going to happen," she disagreed. Suddenly, one of the screens started flashing red and an alarm rang. "What's happening?"

"His diastolic and systolic pressures are dropping," Simmons reported. Oh, this fight was going real south. "Heart rate's plummeting, as well."

"Tell Coulson. He needs to know now," I ordered Fitz. He leaned forward into the intercom.

"Sir, he's in bad shape."

"Between the physical exertion and this wound, his vitals are dangerously low."

There were more sounds of a struggle before two of the yellow dots seemed to flee the scene. "Skye, start the van," I commanded. She scrambled to the driver's seat to do so, the vehicle springing to life. I waited, ear against the back door for any sign of footsteps headed our way. I was ready for a fight, but completely scared out of my wits at the same time. This was going to be a painful death.

I'd never get to tell Fitz how I felt.

They never came thankfully. Everything was silent now, outside the throb of the motor, but we weren't in any danger. I was going to make it another day.

"Hayward's dead," Coulson's voice made us all nearly jump out of our seats. My stomach did a flip and I had to force my nerves to stay strong rather than fold up and let me buckle to the floor.

"What happened?" I questioned. I thought of his sister. She thought they had a chance. She had loved him so much.

"It looks to be similar to the death of the MI6 officer you and I encountered months ago. He was begging for his life and then-"

"It was like the inside of his eye exploded," I recalled, chill going down my spine. I took a deep breath with my hand going to my head, realizing what this all would mean. "That would mean Centipede… that Centipede was behind Akela too. Behind the eye implants." Hayward was dead. The man had just wanted to be a hero and they had tricked him into living a life like this.

"We'll need to confirm that. We're heading back to you with his body. I want Simmons in the Jeep with Mike. He needs your assistance. The rest of us will take the van- I want Fitz looking into this immediately."

"Who will be riding with me?" Simmons inquired.

"Crawford should be fine. She knows how to handle the Jeep pretty well."

Oh no. I couldn't argue or say anything, but mentally I was screaming. But I put on my best professional face and exited the van with Simmons as the others came out of the building. Simmons ran up to Mike and began leading him towards the Jeep. Ward was holding Hayward's body roughly in his arms. I went up to it, hand on my mouth.

Hearing it was one thing, but seeing it was another. And I had never met this man, but I felt such a connection to him and what he had been trying to do. He had deserved so much better and I would give a lot to have met him under different circumstances. I smoothed his hair away from his forehead. "I know you don't believe this, that you probably thought you were weak, but I think Captain America would be very proud of you. And if I ever meet him, I am going to tell him about Brian Hayward and how brave he was."

I moved part the group then, wiping my eyes as even the two still in the van were staring at me. I came to a stop before Coulson. "I get to call and tell his sister when this is over."

"Agreed."

I looked back at Brian before locking onto to Coulson with my steeliest gaze. "And we are going to show them all the ways they messed with the wrong people- Raina, Po, all of them. They aren't even going to know what hit them." I directed that more at everyone and didn't wait to hear any responses before heading for the Jeep and climbing in. Simmons was sitting in the back with Mike sprawled out, unconscious.

She didn't even need to say anything. "I'll pay little heed to the speed limit," I informed her before starting the car up and leaving the God forsaken warehouse in our rearview window.

"I think I've stabilized him at least," she wiped her forehead. "I'll need to get several nutrients back in his body when we return, but the wound seems to have stopped bleeding. It will be a while before he's back on his feet though."

And I wanted to engage in this talk. I wanted to ask questions and help her think through this. But the part of my brain that controlled my mouth had other ideas. "You already looked at what Fury sent."

"Excuse me?"

"You looked at the particulate. You have the answer. You… you were lying to me." Her silence was very telling and I knew I was right. I felt the tears starting up again. "Jemma- "

"I did," she admitted. "And the results… they were… I needed more time to process them. I needed to run a few more tests." I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't the time nor the place for any of it."

"Then you should have told me that," my voice rose dangerously. "You should have been honest with me. Instead, you looked me right in the eye and lied to me… about something I deserve to know. It affects my life, Jemma!"

"It affects all our lives!" she shouted back. "It… changes everything and knowing it makes things really hard. It has made being with you this past day quote difficult. I didn't think anyone else was ready for that."

"That wasn't your decision to make. Our team-"

"Our team isn't able to see the repercussions like I do. Even Fitz, who more than anyone should comprehend all the problems chooses to remain blind to them. They are able to be positive about this, call you a superhero from the future, but all I can see is what Randolph did."

My anger came to a screeching halt. "Wait. Are- are you saying… was right? That I'm…"

She sighed, lowering her voice and calming a bit. "I carbon dated the particulate to see what time it came from. The estimates were rough but it was at least a hundred years older than it would be at present day. You were walking around at least a hundred years in the future, and there is no way to scientifically argue that. I don't know how we are all still standing, but somehow it was managed."

It was true. I-I had been right. I had come back from the future. I had time traveled to save someone on this team. Oh my God. I had traveled through time.

"What that also mean," Simmons continued, pulling me from my reverie, "is that Randolph was correct. You were not meant to be in this time. Everything you touch or effect changes things in ways they originally weren't meant to happen. We could be drastically of course from where we were all meant to be without you."

"I think you might be exaggerating," I defended myself.

"And all I can see are the questions. Who is supposed to take the lead if you're not around and are you stunting us because of it? Was I meant to survive the virus? Was Randolph meant to live? Have people lived or died because of the changes you made?" My mind flashed to Hayward's body. Had-had that been my doing? "Are you making people feel things for you that were meant to be felt for someone else?" She sighed at this one. "And that's where Skye would argue that I'm jealous. And it may seem that way, but I'm not. I'm just trying to protect my best friend from entering a black hole that could tear his whole life off course."

"You know too."

"You mean am I able to look over at the other side of the lab and see the obvious? Of course I know. And at first I was hesitant because you had lied to us. You hurt him a lot. And he may have forgiven you but a part of me had a hard time doing so. And just when I start getting over that… then you just had to go and be from the future. Your entire relationship had to be creating something that was literally never meant to exist."

I tried to let her words bounce right off me, but of course some of them stuck. Of course I now thought about the fact that she was right- Fitz wasn't supposed to end up with me. If… if I took him I would be keeping him from whoever he was meant to end up with. And despite her claims I was pretty sure that was Simmons in the end. I was ruining his life, possibly all their lives.

But then there was a voice in the back of my head that sounded suspiciously like Fitz. 'Or you're making them better.'

And it didn't win out over the darkness, but it did help. "Well, I can't change anything now. I have no idea how to go back."

"The damage is already done, Ashleigh. I just hope time can hold up from the strain of this. And believe me, I don't want to feel this way. You make it so difficult. You're such a good friend it makes me want to overlook all of this. I can't deny that. But I also can't deny the facts. They see superhero, but I just see all the possible destruction you're leaving in your wake."

I took a deep breath as we came upon the Bus. "Then it looks like you're just going to have to adjust and let the others handle it in their own way. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to stop protecting any of you. I'm still Ashleigh Crawford." We pulled up and came to a stop, allowing me to turn back and look at her for the first time. "I'm happy to give all the space you need for as long as you need it. I'm not going to let this change anything. You are still one of the only six people I trust. You're still one of my best friends." She didn't quite know how to react to that and now the van was pulling up beside us. "But I'm also not going to forget that you lied to me, Jemma Simmons." I opened my door and started climbing out. "And from someone's who's been on the other side, you're very good at it."

And that's how I left things. And it was hard, but all I had to do was remember that I needed to focus on protecting others to push the fact that I was from the freaking future out of my mind. I could panic and scream about that later- preferably with either Fitz or Skye by my side to keep me from losing it. Because now I needed to focus all my energies on wiping Centipede off that map.

Whatever it took on my part, I wasn't going to let them hurt anyone else.

All this personal stuff was just going to have to wait to mission's end. Even the pair of brown eyes that now met mine as the others exited the van.

And then I'd tell him.

I'd tell him everything and let him decide.

XXX

Whew! Well, that was intense. This was quite the chapter to write and the second half- oh boy the second half. All I can say is just you wait. I'm hoping to have it up in about a week give or take, but don't quote me on that. Thank you again for all the love and support all around. I love each and every single one of you.

Thank you to those who have alerted this story: madstar95, roryandamy, MarvelPotterHead, Princess Nightmare99, thethoughtsofawildheart, Littleweejock, PlainJaneJ, girostritron, TwoHeartedMarauder, writingNOOB, WhovianPotter, CharTheMander, and victordebilly. I hope to keep you entertained for a long time to come.

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And to my reviewers all the hugs and kisses. I read them all multiple times and they keep me going more than anything else. I look forward to our continued conversations greatly. Thank you victordebilly, CharTheMander, Violetkane, writingNOOB, iblamegreenberg, DreamingOfThatWorld, MulishaMaiden, my friend eckles, AthenaB, Mmjohns, Bruna Santos 30- my first non-English review ever, NessieBooEvans, Evangeline Pond, XxAmyTheGreatxX, Connie Weasley, Lara Barnes, and Leopard Feather.