This day a storm visited the North Japan. It was raining like from a bucket, with raindrops with the size of a fist, heavily dropping and splashing on the ground, making bigger and bigger puddles. It was early evening but thick black clouds were covering the sky, making it look like it was a night.
The train station was almost empty. No one wanted to be outside in this weather waiting for a train. The raindrops kept falling on the walls made of glass, racing each other while going down. On a high ceiling there were hanging some lamps but they didn't give that much light compared to the train which was arriving right now.
With a squeak, it stopped and after a few moments opened the door and let out the passenger. Among them walked a young man with a black leather jacket, blue jeans and his iconic, wear-out sneakers.
His silver eyes viewed around the station, like he was looking for someone he might know. But he was aware of the fact that that is impossible. Cause the last time he has been here was more than 10 years ago. The guy scratched his brown hair. In some way he felt weird to come back to this place. He had no memories of this place whatsoever.
"I need to get some food"
That was the first thing that the youngest brother of Yagami's family said. The boy went to the nearest opened restaurant which was located just in front of the main train station's building. He sat to the tabled next to the window. He took of his jacket and placed it on the chair where his traveling bags were as well.
In the time before his order came up, Rin was drinking a hot cup of coffee. The boy was exhausted since he didn't go straight to Hokkaindo's direction. It was a long trip since he made stops and visited every city he could. And this was the final stop before coming back to Alaska. And even if he didn't admit it, he was a little bit scared to go back to that place. But he had his own reasons ...
To the place where it all began.
*Back to Sakamki's mansion*
This is what I hated the most. Too much attention. Since that...night...the first person that I turned to, was Reiji. I don't know why? Maybe because I see him as this household's big mama. But after that, the other brothers were aware of my request as well. Really, the rumors around this mansion goes faster then in house-wives hangouts.
Maurice was sleeping upstairs in my room while I in the meantime decided to go downstairs to the living room which was used the least. Getting myself comfortable on a couch near the fireplace. But just the moment when I opened up the book that I took with me, the feeling of being watched arose to me. It was a bothering sensation because I was aware of who and why was watching me. I lowered my book so I could see the vampires' faces who were watching me with interest. Laito was sitting in an armchair, Ayato on a coffee table, leaning on his elbows.
"I'm astonished" Laito started "It's unbelievable"
"Yeah, it's finally happening" Ayato added straightening his back.
I kept quiet and with irritated eyes stared at both of them.
"When will this be over, don't forget to tell me how it feels to be mentally healthy" Laito was the one who was teasing me the most about all this.
"At least she admitted that there is something wrong with her brain"
They both didn't stopped with these comments. Of course they wouldn't, it was entertaining. At least for those two. For me it was just annoying since Ayato sat in front of me, I couldn't think clearly. It only made me remember the dream over and over again. And it was reaching the point when it was unbearable to sit in one place.
I closed my book and looked at both of them.
"Perra-chan, don't glare at us like this. Ayato-kun and I just can't get over the fact that you are going to meet psychiatrist on your own will"
"I'm more interested what happen that made you want to meet psychiatrist?" Ayato slightly tilled his head and Laito nodded agreeing with his brother's question.
'...you happened'
I straighten my back and leaned closer to both of them. I thought to myself that shouting won't work and to make sure that they would get the message, I whispered to them. Why? So they would listen.
"If I hear one more time a word, about me visiting a psychiatrist, I'll spread the rumors about you two not only around the academy but this city as well. And spoiler alert, it will concern a one body part's dis-functionality"
Brothers blinked at me while I, without any wait for their responds, stood up and walked towards the door.
"Why are you so mad, we're supporting your decision, aren't we?" Ayato looked over his shoulder to me and then at smirking Laito who was snickering.
And what I did after he said that, surprised me as well. It was an instinct, something that just came natural without even realizing. With all my force I threw the book to the vampire's head. I only saw the part when Ayato took hold of his head where the book hit.
"OI!" the vampire yelled.
"Neee~ Ayato-kun, relax. You kind of deserve it"
"You're taking her side?!"
I loudly slammed the door behind me. My heart was racing from all this. It wasn't new for me to speak with them or ... occasionally throw stuff at them but...I need to sort out these feelings.
"Thank you for coming here in such a short notice"
Reiji was leading the psychiatrist to the room where he will meet his patient. The doctor was the same from the ball party. Reiji had him in mind from the moment when the girl came to his room in the middle of the day and asked for consultation.
"It's no problem to me. To tell you the truth, I'm looking forward to this"
"Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not doubting your skills but...keep that thought"
They reached the destination.
"Please wait here for a moment I will bring, Yagami"
The doctor nodded. Luckily for Reiji, the girl already came by herself, saving vampire's time.
"Yagami, come here"
I turned to direction from where I heard Reiji's voice. He was standing with a strange man who seemed very familiar...when I came closer; it clicked to me from where I know that guy. My wide eyes turned to Reiji.
"He's the one who wants to take out my brain"
The doctor cleared his throat. To that I reacted with taking a step back and bringing my hands up just in case if I need to defend myself.
"It's him or nothing. Your choice"
"Tsk, fine" I glared at the doctor "Just try take one of my organs and I will stab your eye with that pen"
"Yagami" Reiji only needed to say my last name in a certain tone, to let me know he was about to scold me.
The doctor raised his hand "I assure you, Reiji-san, I had had worse patients"
"Again, I don't want to insult your knowledge gained through the years, but hold that thought"
"No worries needed. Kaya, shall we start?" the doctor opened the small study's room door and gestured me to go in.
I looked at the doctor and Reiji before walking. Right, I'm having second thoughts. Maybe I panickedd too dramatic. This all Ayato thing could be just a phase...which is not normal.
The room in which the session will take the place. The book shelves covered the small room walls like a paper. In the middle of it stood two armchairs place in front of each other and being separated by a round, dark wood coffee table.
We sat down. The doctor took out his black leathered notepad and some fancy engraved pen. He got himself comfortable in an armchair. The man put one leg on the other for a notebook support.
"To begin with..."
"Yah" I was massaging my canines gums because of the slight pain that I felt again. The doctor's face said it all. I took out my finger from under my lip and wiped it off on my jeans.
"Sorry"
"That's fine. How about you start by telling me, why you feel that you in need of psychiatrist?"
"Well...umm...the thing is" I exhaled "wow this is way more harder then I thought. To be honest I had different expectations"
"...I believe in you" he was noting the fact that I had never been at this kind of specialist.
"That's a first degree burn, doc"
"Please" he gestured me to start talking 'cause he probably felt that I'm changing the subject.
"Alright" I took a deep breath "well to come think of it, it all started maybe three or more weeks ago. I started to feel something. Like...I don't know...somehow I started looking at someonnn...tttthing in a different for me new way"
"At someone?"
"No"
"..."
"Maybe. Perhaps"
"..." doctor was giving me a silent treatment.
"...Distraction!" from a coffee table I took a book and threw it in the corner of the room. But the doctor still kept the eyes on me "Okay, it was someone...You're a though nut, doc"
"I know" he started taking notes "Let's skip to the part where you reached the highest point"
"You mean the day when I went to Reiji's?"
"Correct"
"Umm...well I had this dream that I...kissed one guy"
The doctor raised his eyebrows which said 'are you serious?'. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"Listen, before you say that I'm wasting your time, just hear me out. The guy in my dream...well I know him for a while. More then a year. Let's call him Rudolf. Rudolf and I hate each others guts. All our meetings develop into the fights. And he's always calling me this stupid nickname that he came up with. Always in the way, mockingly staring. And those annoying habits of his, like when he eats takoyakis he chews for a moment on a toothpick. I mean who does that?" I nervously laughed
"Don't you find it weird that you noticed this little habit of his?"
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Let me tell you this. The situation, that you are having, can be solves by what you humans call, a chit-chat with your friend. The feeling that you are having are not abnormal and it's nothing similar to what my specialty is all about"
"Again. What?"
"I will put it in a question form. You said that you know this...Rudolf over a year. That's a history. Do you what comes after history?"
I looked up at the ceiling remembering one song's lyrics which I mumbled to myself.
"~A whole universe was in a hot dense state, then na na na na na na na na... we built the pyramids, math, science, history~ ...you mean, unraveling the mystery?"
"That's...I'm just going to through it out here. You reached the high point of having a crush on this man"
"Oh hell on earth no!"
The doctor took off his glasses leaning more in the armchair. I flipped out and jumped from my seat.
"Objections!"
I walked around the place without any purpose it was just the thing that I needed to move. The symptoms were similar to a shock.
"There's no way I would be having a crush on him. Our relationship is based on anger and shouting and yelling and more shouting"
"That's the second phase of relationship development for humans. Of course there are a few other different models of this but yours would be with the one where from the hatred towards one person it changes to a lust to him/her"
"Oooorr...?"
"There's no 'or'. It's too obvious"
"No no no no no"
I sat back in the armchair because I felt how legs were giving up on me while realization that the doctor might be right, was coming into my head. But this was a situation when I couldn't stand or sit in one place so I ended up just moving around the chair, changing my sitting positions, standing up, sitting down, bringing knees to my chest, leaning on my elbow then changing it.
"Why? Just...agh...how did this happened?" then my eyes got wider.
"Do you have any other problems?"
"Apart from this, no" I kept looking at the floor. Even forgot when was the last time when I blinked.
"Then I have no need to stay here" he was about to stand up and leave but I shouted for him to stop.
"Waitwaitwaitwait you gotta help me. You work with unusual behavior" I pointed at myself "There you have it"
"Having a crush is not something that you could call abnormal"
"But we are talking about Rudolf. I'm mean Rudolf is...me and Rudolf could never ever..." I sighed scratching my head. I closed my eyes trying to shake off the image from my head. The possibility that me and Ayato... "Ah hell on earth no!" I slammed my head on the table. Growling in pain, disappointment, tiredness of all of this.
The doctor took out a napkin for cleanse cleaning and with it he rubbed the glass between his fingers.
"I'm more interested in this behavior of yours"
"You don't say" I mumbled with my forehead still on the hard surface of the table.
Reiji's footsteps were heard down the hall. He decided to walk pass by the room where Kaya's and doctor's arrangement was held, to check up just in case if they were done. But the moment his eyes caught the sight of the door, the other figure appeared in the view.
Laito was pressing his ear against the door. Eavesdropping on the session. When both vampires eyes met, the curious one smiled at the one with a judging look.
"Laito"
"Shhh" the vampire pressed one finger to his lips.
"What are you-"
"Shhh" Laito kept the finger on his lips and turned his eyes to the door.
Reiji stood there frozen. He was surprised but at the same time not so much. Somewhere in between. He was expecting something like that. Since the talk about Kaya meeting psychiatrist spread around the mansion, the brother became weirdly exited.
"Whose Rudolf?" after a moment of silence Laito asked Reiji.
"A what?"
"I heard Perra-chan saying the name 'Rudolf' "
"Laito, go back to your room"
"But I wanna know who's Rudolf"
"Well if this is the only problem you are having then I have no need to stay here"
"I do have a problem. It's Rudolf" I tried to stop the doctor.
"Then you must go and deal with this Rudolf of yours" the doctor answered casually.
"How? I have no experience in relationships"
"I wish you good luck with that. And if you ever feel that you are hallucinating or feeling not normal yourself. And I mean unexplained behavior. Call me" he gave me his work card.
"Okay. I figured out your game" fell back in the armchair.
"What's my game?" he sat in the armchair in a pose as he was waiting for the expected answer.
"You have PhD, don't play dumb"
"Basic examination and five specialized sessions, plus if it's needed two hypnoses sessions" the negotiation began.
"Basic examination, four specialized sessions" I gave him my terms.
"Four specialized sessions and two hypnoses if it's needed"
"Basic examination and three specialize sessions" I didn't gave up.
"Five specialized sessions and one hypnosis if it's needed"
"Three specialized sessions...mmmm and one hypnosis if it's needed"
"...Deal" the doctor agreed and we shook our hands.
"So now, back to this situation. What should I do? Because it's freaking me out"
"I might have a solution for you to how to sort out your feelings."
"Yes?"
"You're eighteen. The age of exploring. Feeling attraction to a man is very normal. The need of a contact raises and you see, Rudolf as a potential partner to satisfy that need."
"Wait what?" my voice became high pitched.
"My theory is that you are suffering the need of intimacy from a male. Fulfilling this void might help you get rid of these feelings that you are having. But in my opinion it's the feeling that won't disappear that simply for"
"What?" I panicked which made my voice go high pitched once again "According to you I have something more then a crush on him. Then explain me this, doc, why every time when I see him I feel like my heart will explode, and the race of pulse gets higher, huh? That's symptoms of heart dysfunction and all that pathology stuff, OR... even a heart attack"
"You do realize you're going through a denial phase?"
"Your face is denied" I pressed my lips and with wide 'oh-shit' eyes looked at the doctor. Somehow I forgot the fact that he is vampire and I can tell from my experience that they are not fond of these kind of jokes.
"I forgive you" he calmed me down.
"Oh thank God" I sighed lowering my head.
"To make it easier to you and me, I will write down my personal phone number and the address of the clinic where I work in this town. When you feel reaching the depression phase call me and we will have an appointment there"
"I'm not going through any phase...but I will take this just because I could call you in the middle of the night and tell you, you were wrong" I took from the table the card on which was written doctor's information. He leaned back, putting a pen in his blazer's inner pocket. He shook his head sighing but also gave that I-am-dealing-with-nonsense smile.
"I will see you on our first session"
"How long is one session?"
"Normally one hour. But for you it will be two"
"I'm not that unstable to have two hour sessions"
"I'll be the one who will evaluate this"
"Pardon me" from the other side of the door Reiji knocked but before either of us could answer, Laito popped his head in the room.
"Gooooood day, doctor, cutting the chase here umm did you fixed our Perra-chan?"
"Laito..." Reiji was standing behind the vampire, hissing about inappropriate intrusion.
"You might get my call faster then you think, doc" I stood up and came closer to him, keeping my eyes on both vampires. "You will have to give testimony in Laito's murder case"
"So, does that mean you will actually go through the treatment?" Laito entered the room.
'Your ass will go through the treatment'
"Very funny" I replied sarcastically.
"You know who else is funny? Rudolf"
When Laito said that name my eyes shot wide open with anger.
"I'm gonna kill you, Laito!" I started chasing after him. The vampire tried to use Reiji as a barrier, pulling his brother so he would me in my way. But I pushed Reiji to the side and ran after Laito.
"Is that a confession of love? Awww Perra-chan, I knew you love me"
Later that day, I was lying on my bed with Maurice beside me. This all situation with Ayato, flashbacks of that dream and now the fact that in the doctor's opinion it's some kind of intimacy need, made me feel uneasy to the point when I buried my face into a pillow and letting out sounds of a dying whale.
Maurice tried to get under my face and flip my head on the other side. I just lazily lifted my hand and gently petted him.
"Leave me to die, Maurice" I mumbled into a pillow. But the pig didn't gave up and jumped on my back giving the hoofs' massage. It was pleasant in a weird way so I didn't mind for Maurice doing this.
"I'm not having a crush on him. I'm not having a crush on him. I'm not having a crush on him. I'm not having a crush on him"
I kept chanting the same sentence over and over again. What I was saying to myself, is true. I'm not having a crush on him. That was just a stupid dream. And that's all.
"Sigh...I rather go to fetch you something to eat"
I rolled out from the bed and fell on the floor with a bang. Maurice followed me and from my bed he landed on my leg.
I walked up to the door. Through my eyes everything looked in slow motion and blurry. No-damn-giving mood which was the reason for the next event.
Since I was in a zombie state my reflexes were gone, so when I opened the door Maurice walked under between my legs and into the corridor.
It took me a moment to realize what just happened. When it finally clicked, my heart started racing like crazy.
That day I learned that pigs can run really fast.
It was still raining in the north japan. It seemed that with every second the sky got darker and darker. Rin took the bus which stopped just about 3 kilometers (~1 mile) away from the main destination.
At some point the road was uneven, muddy and with a lot of deep puddles. Trees were like umbrellas to him. Still, the boy was soaking wet but at least right now when he entered the forest the rain drops didn't bothered him that much.
In the distance he finally saw the house that he needed. It wasn't that far away from other residence but far enough. For a moment he stopped and looked around the place. For almost eight years this was his home. The memories and how he sees it now has a big contrast. Something that was so warm and welcoming, now appeared cold and lifeless.
"Japanese haunted house. Great. I'm doing one of the horror movies mistake."
He took a small wooded stairs which with every step creaked. The main door was sealed. He tried to rip of the boards but it was pointless. Rin walked behind the house, hoping to see cracked opened window or something. His uncle's friend came to Alaska for a short time so the boy didn't had much time to talk to him. He could have asked how did the man got in the house. Because from the looks of it, the only way was through the main door which is sealed probably by uncle's friend himself.
Although on the second floor there was a small balcony where usually was hanging washed clothes. And even now there was left some strings.
Rin climbed into the tree which was the closest one the house. He slid towards the branch getting as near as possible the balcony. The situation was that he needed to do the jump, and now calmer rain just complicated things.
He tosses his back bag and it landed on a stoned floor in the balcony.
"No matter what will happen, I have my insurance" he encouraged himself down and made a jump. He huffed in pain when his chest hit the railings but despite the pain he managed to go to the other side of the railings.
"It's good to have insurance but you know what else is good to have? Skills"
To slid open the door he needed to use some strength since over the years the lock got rusty.
The door led to a small hallway from where you could get to four bedrooms. He took out a flashlight to have a better look of the insides. The wallpaper was detached from the wall and destroyed by moist as well as the carpet. The raindrops hitting the roof filled the inside with slumberous sound. He got down downstairs and to the living room.
Rin wasn't sure what was he looking for. The table, the couch, the bookshelf, that small TV were cover with dust. On the floor next to the shelf, books were laying. Furniture moved out of there places. It looked vandalized.
None of this seemed like a clue. Then he decided to go and explore the kitchen, the bathroom and all the other rooms in the house. This search seemed pointless at one moment but someone told him that he just needs to keep looking...
"Goddamn it, Maurice" I cursed under my breath.
This time Maurice made a big time. I have no idea how but because of him I found myself in the dungeons. My experience with this place isn't pleasant. I have reserved spot in one of a cell-blocks and apart from that almost every Sakamaki showed me the different sides of these tunnels, so I had enough visitation down here.
"Maurice, be smart 'cause if one of those blah's will find you, you will become a pork"
I heard oinking a little bit further. While following the sound I hit the opened grill gates. Behind it, on the right side I saw Maurice sniffing around what it seemed to be a door.
Before he ran off from me again I took a hold in my hands. He struggled a little bit but I calmed him down.
"Don't worry, I'm not the one who you should be afraid of"
It was like he almost understood me. The little guy stopped moving in my arms when I scratched behind his ear.
My eyes from Maurice gazed to the doors in front of me. It was with the size of mansion's main door, made of the same stones as the walls of the dungeons; with wooded handles just calling one to open them.
It was something peculiar about all this. I could swear that I felt warmth coming out from behind that door. Some sort of energy that without me noticing, made me step closer and closer to the door; and I started hearing a slight dull hauling sound.
This all felt like hypnosis. My body moved on its own and there was left just a small part of capably of control my moves.
My eyes concentrated on the wooden handle and the next second I know, I took hold of it feeling unknown vibration going through my veins up the arm and the rest of my body.
"Oi" an angered voiced snapped me out of this trance state "What are you doing at this part of dungeons?"
"Umm" I didn't turn around. My body was shaking 'cause now I knew there was no way I couldn't get away with Maurice.
"Are you deaf?"
"No, not really" I hid Maurice under my t-shirt and for more coverage I used my jacket and held it like I was a pregnant woman.
"Tch, moron. You shouldn't be here..." he grabbed my shoulder and turned my body around. The vampire looked down at my moving belly "The hell is this?!" he stepped back.
"I was abducted by aliens"
Maurice oinked. For a minute Subaru was looking at me then at my belly then at me. At the moment when he tried to lift up my shirt, I started to struggle but the guy still managed to reveal what was hidden underneath.
"You have a pig?!"
"Well yes and no!" I took Maurice more comfortable in my arms.
"Which part is no! You are holding a pig!"
"He's not a pig. His name is Maurice" I took a step back from the vampire "You know, I'm surprised that you guys didn't notice him. It's been almost a week when I brought Maurice here and non of you even sensed him"
"That thing lived close to me!...I'm telling Reiji. You need to get rid of this"
"Yo- You're telling Reiji?! What are you five?"
Subaru's eye twitched and from the back pocket he took out the silver knife.
"Fine then. Hold still, I will personally get rid of this pig" he was about to stab but I stepped to the side and clenched Maurice in my hands closer in order to protect him.
"Hold on!" I yelled "Try to hurt Maurice, and I will tell Reiji who really broke the cupboard with vine glasses"
*The flashback*
Like soldiers we were standing in the line in front of broken pieces of glass and crashed on the ground cupboard. Reiji slowly walked passed us examining every single of our faces; looking for hints of fault.
"To not waste our time, I will ask only once. Who did this?" He pointed at the broken furniture.
I knew that it was Subaru since I witnessed the act of destruction. But somehow I felt sorry for him. He can't really handle situations which are stressful. And he had enough of that shit.
I glanced at him and took a deep breath before speaking.
"It was me"
"I knew it" from the other end of the line Reiji walked up to me faster then usual "I will give you one change to justify yourself"
"I umm" I felt everyone's eyes on me. But how come that's surprising. Obviously Reiji wasn't. For a moment I looked at Subaru who was still processing what is happening. "I waaaas on aaaa medication which made me believe that...this...cupboard is aaaa...big.. cockroach"
"I know this is not a reason but I do believe it was your job"
*The end of the flashback*
"I took a bullet for you, dude"
"Tch. Well that was your own choice. It's not like I asked you" Subaru putted back his knife back in a pocket.
"Oh come on. Maurice didn't do anything bad for you. Just let it slide"
Subaru looked at me and then at Maurice who was sniffing the air. The vampire tapped his foot on the ground inpatient "Tch. If that pig will come to my room, or I will catch the sight of him, I will toss him out through the window"
"Great" I smiled.
Maurice oinked. I looked over Subaru's shoulder to see the doors. Never in my life I felt so tempted by a thing. Actually, I wouldn't name it as a temptation, more like calling. Like a magnet pulling me closer and closer.
Subaru notice the way I looked at the doors behind him. He immediately came closer to me and grabbed my forearm, dragging me away from that place.
"Ouch, why so hurry?"
The vampire didn't answer. Just kept pulling me away and out of the dungeons.
"Now stay and don't go anywhere till I come back"
Back in my room Maurice was staring at me. The guy wanted to go again for an adventure but I guess it's enough for him tonight.
"And just to make sure that you are staying in one place, I will tell you this. I'm coming back with food for you. So stayyyyy" I gestured him to back up a little bit. And he did that. That was so cool. Maurice is indeed a genius. Maybe even smarter then me?
I left the room, keeping my eyes on a sitting pig. Everything went well, Maurice didn't moved but when I closed the door behind me, someone else moved closer to me. And it was the last person that I wanted to see.
"Yo, Orokana" Ayato hit the top of my head with a book.
"Ouch, you, idiot!"
"Look who's talking? Einstein appeared" he mocked.
"You suck at math more then you suck my blood, jackass!"
The same story is repeating. It's always the same. All we need is a little push to set the fire between us. Although, now it feels different. It's more...I can't find the right word. But it was nothing. Just a pure rage, anger, hatred. I wanted to rip off his...face.
Ayato clenched his teeth even more, fist so tight that his nails probably dug in the skin deeply.
He shoved the book into my arms. And I without breaking the eye contact roughly took it from him.
"With these stuns, things will end up badly to you" he came closer to me.
"Oh yeah, what are you going to do? Surprise me with your originality" I didn't stepped back. Instead I came closer to him, narrowing my eyes.
"Sassy-wanna be" he mocked me with his smirk. The vampire was looking down at me while I just tried not to lose myself and kept my mind sharp.
"That's probably what every girl said to you"
It took him a second to grab the color of my t-shirt and bring me closer.
This lightning between us didn't stopped, and were close enough to feel each others breaths.
It was just a mare second of something else besides anger but it vanished when Ayato pushed me away and broke the eye contact.
"Tch. It's like talking to the wall"
"Great compartment" I hissed.
"What's your problem?!"
"You! You are my problem!"
And before he could say anything back I walked away from him as fast as I could.
All these emotions just made me more and more confuse of what are my feelings towards that guy.