Couple of days passed and the fact that I'm stuck in the hospital finally hit me. It was getting boring and even stressful to stay in bed whole day. Of course, the past-I would say 'This is heaven; you will miss when you'll be out'. In some way it doesn't seem like a vacation from those vampires. But I do miss those suckers. It kind of feels not the same without them around. I miss the fact that Subaru was just on the other side of the wall. Hearing him flipping the furniture in his own room, had this effect on me, it calmed me down sometimes. I miss Kanato's tantrums… as long as they are not directed to me. Even tho, it's hard to admit, I miss Laito's comments and how he puts his brothers in uncomfortable situations. That's not a skill, that's a gift. With Shu it always was more like a work-out relationship. I drag him from place to place while he gives me a 'moral support'. In other words, just mean comments. And then there is Reiji…two words: friendship goal. Of course he would say that we are not friends and he's right. We are not friends, we are best friends. BFFS LOL.

….Ayato. I had never been so confused about my feelings towards a person. At some moments I don't want to see him in my sight but at same time, I just want him to be sitting next to me. But then again, I remember what happens when we are together: I'm starting to feel nervous and uneasy; my cheeks become red from his stare. Love and hatred clash together, making a big, big mess which is hard to clean up afterwards. I thought if you like or even love someone, it is clear. But I guess I'm not that experience. No. I have completely zero experience when it comes to dealing with your crush.

'Oh my God, I just admitted to myself that I have a crush on Ayato'

I slammed my head against the table.

To run away from the boring ward, I found a living room for hospital's patients. You could get there snacks, hot beverage, watch a TV, play board games and etc. I was sitting to one of the tables in that room. With a hot cup of tea (I could finally eat small portions of food. Self-high-five), I was just catching up with one of those Telemundo Presenta shows, which was one of my entertainments.

It was one of those shows with lots of plot twist. Unfortunately, I turned it on in a midway of third season, so it was hard to understand what was happening. But I guess some girl was forced to get married with some man who only did this so he could find out where that girl's late grandmother hid the treasure. But then the garden boy found out the man's intentions and tried to warn the girl's family but it was too late 'cause the man killed the boy. Then from God knows where, some dude came back (I bet he was dead), there was a lot of 'Dios mio'. The resurrected guy then said that he is the man's with bad intentions, son who survived a car crash which was 'cause by the girl's grandmother, because the mother of that boy knew the place where the treasure was hidden.

"Kaya-chan"

A familiar voiced called me from behind. I was just wondering who will come to check on me this time. It was nice seeing Yui's face. It's been a while.

"Hey, Yui"

Yui sat in front of me. She was in her school uniform so that meant that she was on her way to the academy.

"That's unusual for someone to come at the time like this" I said looking at the round clock on the wall.

"I know" she smiled "I will be here only for five minutes "

"How come? Don't you want to stay a little bit longer" In my voice there was a hint of begging "We could watch this show" I pointed at the TV screen where that latino show was on "'Cause this just got more messed up. That girl is saying that she is pregnant and the baby's father is not that man to whom she is married to"

"I would love to but the limo is outside the hospital and everyone is waiting for me to go back and then we're off to school"

"Oh" I pursed my lip.

"And also, Reiji-san said to give this to you" from her backpack she pulled out neatly folded piece of paper. This is how Reiji likes to put his own made medicine, in old fashion way "And also he said to tell you to not be a paranoid head-ache and just take the medicine or he will personally shove it down your throat"

I blinked few times.

"I know it was Reiji's words, but it was so weird when they came out from you"

"I-It sounded harsh?" she slightly covered her mouth.

"I didn't mean weir-bad. It was weird-good" I smiled.

"Oh" Yui giggled.

"So, we have less then four minutes. Tell me everything what is happening now, starting with Maurice" I leaned closer.

"You don't need to worry about Maurice. When I heard the news about you in the hospital, I went to your room to take him and hide in one place where none of the brothers would think to go or look for anything"

For a moment I was thinking does that kind of place even exist. But then it hit me. It was so obvious that it was genius.

"Laundry room, in the east part of the mansion?"

"Yes" Yui nodded.

"Niccce" I smiled.

"But aside from that" Yui sighed " There was a lot of drama between boys"

"Well, what happened?"

"Well, for starters, Kanato tried to eat his breakfast which was some bacon…"

When Yui said the word bacon, my heart skipped the beat because I instantly thought of Maurice

"…and for some reason he putted whipped cream on it. And to summarize it didn't tasted good for him and he was angry and complaining about this all the way"

"Jezz, poor guy"

"Then Subaru-kun for some other reason broke the chair in the hallway and of course got scolded by Reiji-san which just made Subaru angrier and because of that he broke another chair in the hallway"

"I can't believe I'm missing these kinds of mornings" I mumbled to myself "Oh God, the garden boy is alive" for a moment I was distracted by the show and then quickly realized that I was acting rude towards Yui "Sorry, continuo"

"What else? Shu-san refused to wake up…again"

"Why is it strange for him to refuse wake up. He does that all the time"

"I thought the same way, but I heard that Shu-san is failing classes and this might end up with him repeating the year once again. I'm not quite sure" Now Yui was whispering "but the last time their father punished Shu-san because of that"

"Really? What did he do?"

"I don't know"

"Hmm?" I pursed my lips.

"That's how we live" she let out a tired sigh

"…Do you have a piece of paper and a pen with you?" I asked.

"Yeah, somewhere in my backpack. Why do you ask?" from her bag she took out a pencil and a note book for me.

"Just wanna write a message, that's all"

After five minutes, as it was agreed, Yui came back into the limo where all six of the vampires were waiting for her return.

"Sorry for keeping you all waiting" she apologized. These words were addressed to everyone but to avoid other predators eye contact she just concentrated on the black-hair man.

"What's in your hand?" Reiji pointed at the piece of paper clenched in Yui's hand.

The boy's curiousity rose. It seemed that he had an idea from who this message on a piece of poorly ripped paper was.

"Kaya-chan asked me to read this out loud"

"Oh~ that's so sweet" Laito almost melted.

"Dear Reiji, some news reached my ears which I want to discuss with all of you" Yui started to read. It took only one sentence to make the vampire glared through the window like was trying to burn the whole building with girl inside just by looking at it.

"As I understand this morning/evening was tiring to all of you, but just let me add some things. Subaru, learn to count to ten and meditate. Chairs didn't do anything to you"

"I know how to count! Who does she think I am?! A retard" Subaru instantly protested, almost losing his temper once again.

"Kanato," Yui continued reading "just because you put a whipped cream on something, doesn't make it into a cake"

"What does she know, right Teddy?" the boy mumbled under his breath.

"Shu, c'mon, dude, toddlers sleep less then you. Alarm clock and time arrangement, that's what you need"

"Zzzzz" the eldest one was asleep.

"Reiji, I swear by Odin's Beard if this another drug which will make hallucinate again, I will take some medication from the hospital and make a special tea cocktail for you"

Ayato and Laito gave stupid smirks to Reiji, mocking the vampire for being threaten

"I do wanna see you drinking that cocktail" Laito chuckled.

"Laito, Ayato, snap that grins of your faces, I know you two had some something stupid, and when I find out, I will roast your asses like a barbecue chicken"

"….she's bluffing, right?" Laito looked at Ayato.

After Yui finished reading the letter she looked up to the boys who were left with confusion. After a moment of silence, Laito decided to finally add some comments.

"It's like Perra-chan would be here with us"

"Even without being presents, she is able to get on my nerves" Reiji fixed his glasses, noticeably twitching one of his eyebrows.

"As long as she is not coming to us to say 'Hello', I'm satisfied" Shu added.

"Have you ever heard of a phrase 'Speak of the devil'? " Laito turned to Shu.

"Pfff, she's not that scary" Ayato snored.

"I would disagree"

Mucho mucho dinero

I was left, once again, alone to watch this drama on TV. Apparently my new communication system with outside world will be through the notes. This would work better if I would have a pigeon or something like that. Maybe one of the guys can borrow me his bat, because they seem like smart familiars. But pigeons are probably faster than bats.

While still putting points on pros and cons of each of my animal-messenger choice, I went to the cupboard where all the board games were. And from all of it I chosen the wooden chess board. It wasn't new one. It got rough edges, spots of detached paints. When I opened it, it got that old but in some way spicy smell.

Just when I took in my hand the first figure to place on the board, a surprised male's voice called for me.

"Yagami?"

I raised my eyes and found the psychiatrist standing just a few steps away from the table where I was sitting. He got the same briefcase, same official wear and a white doctor's coat hanging on his arm.

Before I could even think, my self-defense mechanism turned on. In a mare second I found myself trying to hide behind the chair where I was sitting before.

"I knew it" I sounded like I was about to blow up wide open Sherlock-Holmes-level case "You finally came to take my brain for your studies?"

"No, not that" the doctor stepped closer but I was to hyped on this to be interrupt.

"So my liver? 'Cause I know six persons from who I can get you kidneys, heart, liver, well I can't promise brain. I might not find it"

"I see your condition hasn't changed a bit from the last time we met. Still bothered by the same problem"

"Don't try to change the subject I know you are here to do psychologist stuff with me" I didn't back down but it would be better if I would. This dramatically reaction of my just 'caused some staring towards me.

The doctor let out a small laugh before bringing up his doctor's coat and mainly showing the name tag with the same hospital logo and name, which have all the others specialists in here.

"This encounter is only a coincident. I'm working here"

I bit my lower lip giving a small nods "…There some good arguments, you got there, Doc"

"I see you were about to play chess" the man looked down at the table on which was placed unarranged chess pieces.

I didn't say anything just scratched the back of my head when the thought ran through my head, should I ask him if he wants to have one match? I just wanted to socialize with someone.

"Do you know how to play or it's just improvisation?" he looked at me asking.

"…mmmmboth"

"You know, I still have some time before my official work hours begins. Care for a match?" he gesture to the table.

There was an inner conflict inside of me but the winning side said to give the doctor a chance and just see what will happened.

"Sure"

The man nodded and placed the suitcase aside on the table as well as the coat. We sat in front of each other and weirdly, it didn't felt uncomfortable. Apparently I got used to this person. The doctor started placing figures on the chess board. I have to admit it, I wasn't sure which figure goes where, so simply I copy-cat what he was doing.

"Have you ever played?" he broke the silence.

"A long time ago. At the same time when I was running around the forests, pretending to shoot imaginary creatures with power blast from hands, I also was a champion of a chest game in a League of Forest"

"Creative"

"Thank you" we placed the last pieces on the board.

I did remembered some of the figures and how they can move, but he explained me briefly from the scratch how do one play the chess.

"Is everything clear?"

"For now yes" Once again I looked over the wooden figures revising how they go.

"Good. I will start" straight away he started with a knight. I took a moment to think what my first move should be. But within a second my thoughts changed into a view of a hamburger because there was McDonalds commercial on the TV. So I just went with my instincts and moved pawn.

"Why you are in the hospital?" he asked me.

After this question all of the flashback ran through my head. The first moments of getting sick, waking up in the hospital, momental pains and throw ups. Right now it's all just in the past. And I do feel better now, so hopefully, the doctor will signed me off from the hospital soon enough.

"Just problems with my stomach"

"I see"

I knew that he will take this as an advantage to try get into my head and analyze it in psychiatric way. I was against it, but also intrigued. Girls just wanna have fu-un.

"Yeah, it's been a great rollercoaster. One day lost my way to the department where I'm staying and accidentally went to psychiatry department. And Doc, I have to say it, those people doesn't seem ill to me. What they were saying made a lot of sense to me"

The doctor stopped his hand in the mid-air when he wanted to move pawn. Form his eyes I could tell that he was rethinking over and over the last sentence I had told. But in a second his face-expression changed to the pride.

"That department's doors are always locked. Only employers with the key cards can open those doors. Nice try"

"Okay, you got me there" I smiled to myself "But let's be honest, for a moment you got exited"

"The fact that people have mental problems doesn't please me"

"This sounds weird, coming out from the vampire" I mumbled to myself and made a move with the knight figure.

The doctor smirked "I have a different view on a topic about relationship between my race and yours. It becomes more common for a vampire to live among the humans and blend in their everyday lives. Speaking of modernism, Karl Heinz is one of the supporters of this idea"

It took me a moment to remember about who this person was talking about. After all this time I can't understand why the boys don't have their father's last names. Reiji Heinz….? Maybe it's better that they are sticking with 'Sakamaki'

"Umm.. no, I wasn't aware of this. Maybe there were some clues but they were put into the shade of his sons' behavior. In no way I would have thought they are this idea seekers. Do you know how many times I have been thrown into the dungeons? I already have a cell reserved only for me for the rest of my life. And their constant talks about trying new torturing methods on me is not giving any better impression"

"You think they give you a bad impression? From what I understand, you give not so flattering impression as well"

I nodded "You're probably right. They're already cursing me for what had happen few months ago"

Doctor looked up at me from the chess board with curiosity.

*A Flashback*

It was a dinner time. As usually everyone was already there besides me. As for fact, this day something interesting happened. While going through those olds shelves of books, I found one in particularly useful for me. But before announcing anything, I needed a confirmation words from Reiji. When I walked in the room, carrying and album in one hand, the grant master greeted me with the regular doze of disappointed glaring.

"You're late" Reiji said not even opening his eyes.

"Just two minutes, the Earth is still spinning. It's not a big deal. But…" I sat down in my seat feeling how excitement keeps building up just waiting for bursting out from me. "You see Reiji, things happen in this mansion, things are being lost in this mansion and things are being found in this mansion….by me "

At that moment not even Reiji was burning holes in my skull but other brothers too, like they're animalistic instincts were telling them that something bad might happen to them.

"What's that?" Reiji saw the album which I was holding on my lap.

"Oh this?" I moved a little bit aside my plate so I could put the album on the table so everyone would be able to see it "I'm interested too, Reiji"

"She hasn't started explaining and I already want to kill her" Subaru mumbled like knowing that he shouldn't be expecting a bouquet of roses.

The album already had a mark where the needed page was. When I opened the brown leathered book there was brown, yellow, white style portraits of one of the vampires' family. It looked like a family tree, with a drawing of a tree with roots, trunk, branches and leaves. Under one portrait there was written the name Karl Heinz and his face when the man was at the same age as his sons.

I placed a book in the way than from far away Reiji would be able to see it.

"Is this man, your father?" I pointed at the picture.

Before answering, I could feel from every and each guy coming the vibe of grudge.

"…Yes" Reiji spoke.

"Great. And whoooooo is this guy" I pointed at the other picture of quite young man which was the climax of this case.

"That's our great-great grandfather….? Where are you going with this, Yagami?"

I almost squeaked jumping in my seat, but instead of that I just bit my fist, holding all the fireworks inside and just letting all of the excitement to fill up. And just to clarify one fact that is the main meal in this case, the boys' great-great grandfather is bold in the picture.

"Oh Jezzzus…does that mean….that there is a chance…that one of you guys…will go bold?"

And there it was that moment of silence which left the room for the shatters of the boys crushed illusions. When Yui heard what I said, she covered her mouth to hide a shy smile. But I knew, deep inside of that head of hers she was laughing all the way.

But not every guy was shocked for example, instead of being devastated Subaru tried to control himself. Shu didn't give a crap about it. Reiji just looked at me annoyed. But Laito…

"Reiji, is that possible" with the eyes with the size of the moon, the vampire looked at his older brother.

"Don't take this seriously. She's just playing games with us"

"So will your DNA after 20 years" I replied.

*The end of the flashback*

"I'm starting to think that you are similar to SM-046" the doctor moved tower figure forward, but this time with more concentrated eyes.

"What's that?"

"A woman who does not have any fears of death" with the same concentrated voice tone he answered. For a moment he kept his finger on the tower figure before letting it go.

"That's a wrong diagnosis, Doc" it took me three seconds before I made my move on chess.

"You assumed it too fast. I did said that 'I'm starting to think'" with his eyes he examined the board and the situation of figures "But as I understand, you had faced the edge of life and death"

"Why is that?"

"Basically, you answered me when I was still talking, trying to deny that you are no person like S.M."

I honestly didn't know how to reply to his comment. In way, what he said it did made sense. It was like one of those relatable posts on the internet. I felt that he wants to dig deeper into my past for some reason, but I wasn't ready to talk about ….those times. I'm not stupid, I know that I put a whipped cream on some memories and stick with the one that I want actually to remember.

"You will need more then whatever you are doing, to get some more stories about my childhood" I smirked victorious.

He smiled back at me. It almost felt like he was proud of me, but that's just me.

"I guess there's no need to be rush on that topic" he moved bishop figure on the board.

"Yeah, I would appreciate that" I nodded while thinking of a smart move to make in our chess game.

I would never thought to myself that this chess game is so addictive, a few minutes in this and I'm hooked up. Back in a day, my brothers used to play with our uncle. They were naïve to think that they would be able to win against him. Although Ichirou did win one time and he was only around 16-17 at the moment. For me that was like looking how penguin spreads wings and fly.

I did have a strategy against the Doc, I was so eager to make my moves and destroy him in the game muahahaha.

Unfortunately, he moved rook figure which screws up most off the moves that I could make. He's a thought nut. Challenge accepted.

"The game is still going. You might have a chance"

"Sir, you don't even know how many times I heard this phrase from my beloved vampires" I kept my eyes on the board and started to imitate Laito's plus Ayato's voices "Oh, come here~. Let's play dart game~. It will fun~. We won't hurt you~…The next moment I know they are making fun of my throwing skills. They say something like: 'Poor Perra-chan~ you missed it~ How did that happened~…..I will tell you what happened. I was aiming for your heart that's way I missed the board"

"That's some of a relationship"

"It's killing me, eating me alive, puking me out and then eating again. Like a goddamn dog"

Biting the edge of his thumb, the doctor lifted his eyes, glancing at me. Looking up more closely, I could see his fangs. But they weren't at the same size like the boys. But they are always ready to feed, probably that's why they are not afraid to show the treasure they possess.

"How are the things with this 'Rudolf' man?" doctor's question out of blue confused and surprised me as well. All this time while we were sitting I didn't really thought about Ayato. Until now.

"Everything is fine. It's under control" Damn. Even I noticed the tone change in my voice.

"….We both know that's a lie"

"Whaaa? Me? Lying? Neveeeer" I moved from pawn figure and the doctor instantly did made his move as well.

"Check"

I sat there for a second thinking how the hell that happened?

"…Let's say…metaphorically of course….that I was lying and….I am bothered….a lot…what should I do to get over it" I quickly scratched the back of my head.

"The only way to get over the feeling is to admit that they exist inside of you and then let it go"

'I'm not the only one who remembered Frozen'

'No'

'Good'

"And as I said in our first meeting" the doctor continued "tell that person everything that you want him to know and get over it. Piling up problems is not a solution"

I took a deep breath. His words were more clear and understandable than before. And it's hard to admit it but it did made sense. Everything that happened till now and what wasn't solved was pressing me down to the ground.

"…I'm afraid" I whispered.

"Of what" with a calm voice the doctor asked me.

"…rejection" my eyes probably started sparkle like a glass 'cause of the watering eyes. I wasn't about to cry, I could feel it.

"You wished to reject him but you are afraid of being rejected by him?"

I didn't say anything. I felt like a little kid being scolded.

"I still want to reject him"

It was hard to admit it, but it was true. I didn't want these feeling towards Ayato. And right now all I can think of is his stupid face….which for some reason I want to see more often. This cliché is getting on my nerves more and more; breaking it one by one like in interrogation they break person's fingers to get needed information. I kept rethinking and rethinking…but all the roads in my thought led to one finish line…

"I'm gonna tell him" I didn't know if I was smiling or crying "I'm gonna tell him that I love him and just get over it" I took a deep breath.

The doctor smirked. It was small step, that he made me to do and he was proud of it. I could see it in his eyes.

"Checkmate" the doctor made the last move "That's a small step but still a step" he looked the time on his wrist watch "But I have to go now since my shift starts in 5 minutes" the doctor stood up and took his coat with the suitcase.

I still tried to figure out how in the world he won so fast. I hardly noticed that there was an opened through which he made the final move.

"Sorcery" I whispered slowly looking up at the man.

"It's called logic"

"Same thing for me. And also I want to give you recommendation for your future article. Group therapy with Sakamaki brothers. If you think you heard shenanigans from me then be prepared for astonishing thoughts about brotherhood from them"

"...it is almost like you want me to diagnose you with some kind of disorder"

"Nah, it's just fun" I leaned back in the chair and smiled at the doctor.

"Hopefully, you will get better at the chess when we will play again" he gave me a faint smile. The man slightly nodded his head and took his leave.

Usually, I find it hard to trust someone. Right now it feels like this man can be that person to whom I can tell more than a surface of my life, without being felt...judged.

My eyes widen when my head proceeded that the doctor is getting into my head to much.

"Oh hell on earth, this ain't happening" I quickly started cleaning the chess board and put the figures inside the box.

He's one sneaky bastard. The only reason why I'm messing with him is because he's messing with mhe. Although...come to think of it he is right about this situation with Ayato. All I have to do, is to tell him how I feel, that this is bothering me and it makes me hate his existence even more and that's why, I needed to tell him this. To get over these emotions. Stupid, uncontrollable feelings.

I locked the chess board and placed it back in a shelf. The tea was already cold but I still drank it all. I looked outside through the huge window when I heard something tapping on it. A few raindrops hit the glass. I hadn't notices when it got dark outside. Just a few street lamps lit the trees without leafs and bushes which made like a fence for a narrow stone path.

I think I was staring outside for too long 'cause for a moment I thought that there's a human-like figure standing in a distance. Usually when I look closer at these kinds of illusions, they disappear but this time...more and more it began to look like a person rather then a shadow play.

But what almost gave me a heart attack was someone's hand touching my shoulder. Whole body instantly jumped, trying to keep the balance at the same time throwing uncoordinated kung-fu moves with somewhere in between yelling something familiar to the intro of the song 'The Circle of Life'.

The person behind me was one of my lovely vampires. This time Shu brought some 'light' in my hospital life. The boy wasn't really astonished by my action. Rather he patiently waited till I got to the normal state with his poker face on.

"You think you can protect yourself from me with that cup?" the vampire pointed at my hand.

"Oh" I stood up normally "this is not for hitting, I drink my enemies blood from it"

"If you are in the hospital they could check your brain as well while you're still here" he sighed.

"It's scary how many people told me that" I mumbled under my breath, quickly turning back and looking at the same spot where the figure was standing before.

"What?"

"Ugh..nothing. There was nothing" I scratched my forehead "It's rare to see you here"

"Hmpf. Did you miss me that badly? It is true that I'm not coming here often" the boy smirked

"We both know that's not true" I started walking back to my ward.

"Right" he yawned and followed me. After a few seconds of silence Shu just throw this one sentence. This one sentence that I didn't want to hear from him. "You would prefer Ayato. You do have feeling for him"

Like a glass fallen on the floor, my heart fell to the bottom of my body, shattering and letting all the nervousness overcome my body.

"What?" I turned to him.

"Right now you are making this too obvious"

"How did you find out?" with slightly panicking voice I stepped closer to him.

*A Flashback*

It was rare for the vampires to use the toilets but sometimes they needed to take the leak. This was that rare time when the nature was calling Shu so he went to urinal.

As he was taking care of his own business he felt the presents next to him doing the same stuff as he.

At first the vampire thought that that was one of inappropriate guys who doesn't really know these unwritten rules. And he was right. Next to him was standing Laito.

"Hey" the younger brother tried to start a conversation.

"...annoying" Shu sighed.

"Nfu~ just wanna make our bond stronger while I can"

"Don't remind me"

"It's not like this is your first time going" Laito, in some way, tried to comfort Shu. But all he received was a glare, like Shu wanted to throw daggers to Laito's skull.

"Probably Perra-chan is better with these jokes"

Silence...

"Talking about Perra-chan, did you know that she has feelings for Ayato-kun? There's gonna be some drama"

"Not a minute alone" Shu zipped his pants and left the bathroom.

*End of the flashback*

"I'm gonna cut that horny bastard's head, grain it to a sausages and feed it to the bugs"

I was raging, most of the time cursing in the hallway rather than walking.

"Where's the bed?" Shu was mumbling under his breath while we walked.

"By Odin's Beard, I curse his tongue"

"So tired"

"I will go to Ireland to capture a leprechaun so that fairy would step dance on his face"

We came in my ward. Without any hesitation Shu went straight forward to my bed and laid on it.

"Or I have a better idea. But I will need really sharp scissors"

"So noisy. You don't need to overreact that much. First, it spoils the music. Second, you don' have to worry that much about Ayato. You probably won't see him anymore"

For a moment I stopped in a spot. Looked at Shu and tried to figure out what did he mean by saying that I won't see Ayato again.

I slowly sat down in the armchair behind me.

"How come?"

Shu didn't open his eyes, not even moving a muscle. With almost mute voice he spilled out what was going on.

"Ayato failed some exam and our father is sending him away as a punishment...and me as well"

"What?"

The vampire turned his back to me and minutes later fell asleep without giving more information. But I didn't need anything; it was enough for me to understand that... It's hard to explain: meaningless, sad, senseless, heartbreaking. It's like I want this to happen so less vampires would surround me, but not like this. Do I really want him to stay?

The rest of the evening went quiet. Even though Shu hid his face, the vibes coming from him told me a different story. It's seems that he doesn't care about it but I would say opposite.

Finally, he got out of the bed, yawning and stretching his arms he stood and took few steps before I could ask him anything.

"How do you feel?"

"Still tired"

"No. I mean about this punishment thing"

"Don't waste your time concentrating on my problems, concentrate on your own" this time he sounded quite annoyed but not in the way he usual is. This time I sense some anger coming out from his voice.

"Yeah, I'm a full package of those" tried to joke. From his expression I could tell that it didn't work.

"To tell the truth…" I stood up and started kind of awkwardly walking towards the vampire "…I'm gonna miss you guys"

For a moment, he became like sober from slumber mode. As it was the first time someone acted sincere towards him. All this softening took just a mare second before he came back to his usual self.

I came closer to him and spread my arms.

"Come. I'm available for a hug"

"I don't like hugs"

"Shhh I wanna give you a hug" I whispered while approaching him closer, just hovering my hands around the vampire's body.

"Don't touch me" he didn't move a muscle, just stood there like statue.

"Shhh, don't worry, I'm not touching you. Just be in your happy place, happy thought and shit like that"

"I don't like this" he kept on talking with monotonic voice tone.

"Yes you do….shhhh. I don't know what with shhhh but it does calm me down"

"I will throw you out through the window"

"Okay" I backed up and cleared my throat.

After that, we stood silently in awkwardness. Well at least that's what I felt…is this what Reiji feels when I start talking? Interesting. The boy didn't say a word nor did I. When he looked at me I gave him a pressed lips smile which in one was a sad one.

"So this is goodbye…for now?"

"I don't know" he shrugged his shoulder like he really didn't cared whether he stays here or goes off somewhere to the other side of the world.

"Well…have fun" I instantly cursed under my breath when I realized what came out from my lips and because of that I slapped my forehead…a little bit too hard which left me with pulsing, red skin.

"Although" he cracked barely visible smile "Seeing you getting hurt because of your stupidity is gonna be one of the things I'm gonna miss"

"Of course you will"

The vampire looked at me one last time before he took off, leaving me alone in a dark, chilly hospital ward.

The rain got heavier with every hour. There was no end of it. I was tired but I couldn't fall asleep. Something wasn't giving me a rest. I knew what was it, but it was hard to admit it. All of these changes, Ayato and Shu leaving the house. I was wondering how others feel about this. Sure they hate each other, want to cut each other's throats but that what they say. I bet the mansion will feel bigger and emptier without those two around.

I couldn't lay in bed anymore, so I stood up and walked next to the window and sat down on the windowsill. A slight breeze coming from the cracks softly kissed my skin making me more relaxed. I got lost in a sight of the night city, with all the lights in the windows and cars passing by. I thought about the people out there, how cozy it's should feel being back home after a long work day. I miss that homely warmth.

The door was opened. My heart skipped the beat when I saw him standing in a doorway. Ayato was dripping wet, from his head to toe.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped back to reality.

He shut the door behind him and walked to the bathroom. All I received from him was silence.

"…You're deaf?" I shouted.

"Don't get on my fucking nerves" he came out, rubbing his head with a towel. If I wouldn't know about the situation he's into, I would say he is acting like a man-bitch.

"Someone was bitten by a bee"

He roughly threw towel on the floor and glared at me like he was about to murder me with his bare hands. That' look made me slightly lean back. I have never seen him this angry before.

"I'm having the shittiest day, and if you will mock me one more time I will rip your face off" there was so much fury burning with the green flames in his eye.

My eyes were wide open and the only comment that I was able to think of was a silent "Wow"

"Tch" he sat down on the bad turning his back to me.

The tension coming out from him was overwhelming. It was probably the first time when I see him in this…condition. I don't blame him; I would act like that too, if my own father would send me somewhere just because I failed some exams.

"Listen" I got off from the windowsill and slowly step by step tried to come closer to the vampire "I heard that you will be send somewhere"

The boy slightly moved his head towards me.

"Don't remind me…. I didn't want to stay in the mansion because of all Reiji's nagging and Laito's mocking" now he sounded more calm but he seemed still tense.

"Reiji…he's a special boy in his own way. He has this need to whip people. And Laito….well he is your brother and you to have the closest relationship of all the brothers, so him mocking you it's just the way of hiding the real feelings"

"We are vampires, we have no feelings" he announced like it was a big deal.

"We are birds, we have no flying ability….that's what I heard"

"The fuck with the birds!" he stood up and stepped closer to me "Are you calling me a stupid bird!?" his voice rose a little.

"No, I call this a metaphor. That vampires don't have feeling is bullshit"

"Oh what do you know about us?! What do you know about me?!"

"Basically everything! Do the math, how long have I been living with you guys?!"

"Too long, Orokana! Too long! You are driving me insane just by standing in front of me" he started using more hand gestures.

"Well you're driving me crazy! You don't even know how much problems did you cost me and how hard it is to be around you right now!" I pointed at him.

He rolled his eyes and smiled "The idea of going to the other side of the world now sounds even better. Maybe I will have some piece of mind being somewhere else"

"Oh sure, that's your big solution…. I don't understand why you even came here" I shook my head and looked up at him.

"…I don't know" he scratched the back of his head.

'Everything just became more difficult'

'Will you have the courage?'

"To have one last argument with me…?" I answered.

"Tch…do you really think I came here to say some stupid goodbye to you?" he folded his arm and turned to the side "I just didn't want to stay in the mansion with those bastards"

"Sure" I pursed my lips and walked to the wall behind me and leaned on it. I could feel my knees becoming week, butterflies attacking my stomach, sweaty palms, and heart-beat rising up. I was getting ready to tell him. To tell him how I feel about him and get over it. It wasn't the best time for this but this might be the only chance for me to ease this burden on my shoulders. And the good thing is, no matter what answer I will get, he will leave. Right? That is good..?

'I'm so nervous'

'You will always have me'

'I will always have myself…great'

"Then….I have something…to tell you" it looked like if I was talking to the floor. At the moment I was too embarrassed and too stressed to meet his eyes. Although I couldn't really see but I could feel his gaze "Umm" my voice got shaky and cheeks felt warm.

"What?" he asked.

I really was hoping that he won't talk 'because this one, short word just made my blood pressure gets high. Finally, I got up with courage to raise my head. Ayato stood just a few steps away from me. Because I was taking so much time he got more curious look but I knew that the vampire's patience wasn't infinitive. But he didn't need wait too long because I was ready to speak. So I took a deep breath and…

"Ayato, I lo-"

His phone started ringing which a bit startled me. Ayato seemed like he was woken up by the sound as well. He checked who was calling and then I saw a moment of hesitation. For a mare moment he glimpse at me and then back at his phone before answering.

"What do you want?"

On the other side of the phone I think I was able to hear Laito's voice.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I will come back soon" and he put back the phone into his pocket. He opened and closed his mouth as he was about to say something.

"You should go" I whispered.

"Yeah…., you wanted to tell me something?" he kept that cool face of his on.

"I…I'm gonna miss you" I forced the fake smile of joy.

"Feeding from you was great too"

"…I will take that as a compliment" I putted my hands in cardigans pockets.

He didn't say anything back but giving me a slight nod before going away. This all seemed unfinished one way or another. Maybe because when I was ready to tell him what I wanted, it was cut off by a simple phone ring.

Just before he closed the door behind him we managed to exchange one last look.

What was I thinking? Was it really a good idea to tell him that? Maybe it was a sign from the universe? Or I'm just overthinking the situation?

For a moment I wasn't moving from my current place. These kinds of questions were popping up in my head just making this entire situation messier in my head. That's my problem. How come it was so hard to realize it. I'm not a thinker, I'm not Reiji. The question which I need to ask myself is 'What I want to do?'. And the answer is quite simple...

Almost running, I left my ward and fast-walked towards the stairs, corridors, room-areas and finally got down to the main entrance area. All the time searching with my eyes for Ayato. I turned the inner locked of the door and got outside. The smell of the rain and darkness of the evening were the first things that my senses noticed.

As I got down a few steps of stairs I saw Ayato in the distance. The boy probably heard the door opening because now he was looking at me surprised.

Little by little the rain was soaking my clothes and sticking hair in wet strings.

"I might have something to say" I was catching up my breath.

"You ran all the way here? You're crazy?" Ayato still stared at me confused.

"Yes. I'm a mess. I confess and there's no going back from that" I could feel like that appear more getting ready to get into a fight then confess someone my feelings.

"What are you babbling about?" he couldn't put a finger on what was happening. If I was in his place, I would be lost in this situation as well.

"What I'm babbling about is that…I…me….Kaya"

I could see that talking won't work out for me here. And talking more in this condition would make things idiotic. Let's use that word.

Actions speak louder than words. So, I needed to change my strategy.

"Oh, the hell with it" I mumbled to myself before grabbing him by jacket's color and pressing my lips on his cold, wet ones. His body got stiff from the shock, the same way as my. As it the time stopped for a moment, making everything go quiet just so I could hear my heart beating inside my chest. In my head I counted till 5 before pulling away. When I looked at him, the time start passing again.

"I kinda….like you…'re face" I let go of his wet clothes.

"…"

"That's what I wanted to tell you because I thought I was going insane. I didn't know how I felt towards you for real. So, I needed to do this…to makes sure that all this…." It became harder to talk and choose the right words.

"…You are driving me insane, Orokana"

I though he will start mocking me, throw jokes about how I can't keep hands to myself and just boosting up his pride. But no. With a strong grip he pulled my body closer to his and filled the gap between our lips. It didn't take me long to start responding to his movements. Everything felt natural, wrapping my hand around his neck, from time to time digging my nails into the fabric of his clothes. As I was told, from hate to lust. It felt like he was kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Holding me tightly like I had no legs.

Things escalated quickly, it was hard to tell what when happened. One moment we're outside, the other one in my ward laying on my bed. Everything what was hidden became exposed. Everything that he didn't obtain before, he obtained that night.