The doctor came an hour later. He asked Rey a bunch of questions about what she remembered since she woke up and since before her injury. Then he called Finn back into the room.

"She has retrograde amnesia. It's not uncommon with head trauma. Her memory should recover the more she heals. It might take six to nine months," he said.

Rey stared at the man's wrinkled face. Six to nine months and then she might remember everything from her life that led her to be married to Kylo Ren.

"Is there anyway to make it return faster?" Rey asked.

"It's best not to force your recovery, but you can search out familiar places with people you care for. Maybe something will feel more familiar than it should and help your pathways heal." The doctor said.

"What about using the force? I fainted when I tried to call my sabre."

"I'll leave that up to you. I don't understand the force very well, but it probably wasn't wise to use it the moment you woke up. But as you feel better there should be no reason to refrain."

Rey nodded. "Alright. Thank you."

The doctor left and Rey turned her gaze to Finn. He was looking out the door nervously.

"What is it Finn?"

"I need to tell him what the doctor said. I can feel how much he's buzzing with impatience out there. He's trying really hard to give you space."

"He- oh," Rey realized how silly it was to ask who Finn was referring to. She inclined her head to let Finn know he could go. Finn disappeared through the door for a while. Rey could hear him speaking, followed by Ren's deep voice.

Rey sighed. She would need to see him. See her children. If this truly wasn't some trick, some force illusion, then she couldn't keep herself away from them. They were probably very worried about their mother and Rey knew all too well what that felt like.

How am I going to do this? Rey nibbled on her bottom lip.

When Finn returned he said his goodbyes. It was getting late and he and Poe were going to head home for the night. "I'll come see you first thing tomorrow."

Rey gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Finn. Say thank you to Poe too."

"Will do." Finn flicked his eyes to the door and back to Rey. "He wants to see you."

"Yeah, sure. Send him in," Rey said.

Finn chuckled. "Well, this is his bedroom too after all, even if you've been hogging the bed for a while. I think he's been sleeping on the double with the twins so he wouldn't risk bumping any of your medical equipment."

Rey's mouth dropped open a little, but she said nothing. She sighed. "Thanks again Finn."

Finn left. Rey held her breath.

Ren burst into the room and then suddenly stopped as if remembering he should be careful around her. He stood awkwardly at the door.

"Rey."

Rey didn't trust herself to speak.

You. A scavenger.

"I'm so glad you're alright."

Rey could see it and feel it rippling through the force, how badly he wanted to reach out to her, embrace her.

"I- I don't know how to do this," Ren said.

"Me either."

"I don't want to be forceful, but I want-" Ren trailed off.

Rey didn't know what to say. She needed to make herself believe this was her husband and that Kylo Ren had truly changed, but she couldn't help how far away he felt from her.

Ren walked forward a few paces, then stopped himself. "I-"

Watching him flounder like this was a little amusing. Rey's eyes moved from his twitching hands to the tips of his pinkening ears.

"The doctor said we could try to help my memory recover," Rey said. "I think I should see the... kids... first. Then I would like to shower. And then maybe you can show me one of our memories. I'm tired and I don't know what that kind of use of the force will do so I'd like to be prepared to sleep if I need to."

That seemed to calm him quite a bit. A plan. He liked that. "Right. Good. I'll go get them."

He left quickly. Rey's heart thudded in her chest as she waited for him to return.

She heard them before she saw them. "Mum!" Two voices shrieked and footsteps echoed down the hall. A boy and a girl, about two years old, crashed through the door.

"Han, Paige. I told you to slow down." The deep frown of his face reminded Rey most of Ren in that moment. The stillness of his anger, the dominance of his presence.

"Sorry, dad," Paige said. Han muttered something like an apology too.

"Paige?" Rey said quietly. Her eyes flicked to Ren, lost.

"Rose's sister. She died in the war."

"Rose?"

Ren's eyes widened and then he just looked sad. "You'll remember her. She's your best friend."

"Oh." Rey frowned. Han and Paige jumped into her arms. Their bodies felt warm and small and comforting. It was like even if her brain couldn't remember them, her heart did.

Han. Ren's father.

And Han Solo.

You feel like he's the father you never had.

He would have disappointed you.

So much must have changed. Rey cuddled her children close. They cried and told her how much they missed her, how scared they were. "It's ok. I'm ok."

Rey wanted to hold them longer, but she could feel her grip loosen the more tired she became.

"Let your mother rest for tonight. She'll see you again tomorrow," Ren said.

The twins groaned but they slid from Rey's arms. Rey could tell Ren's rule over them was absolute. I'm not surprised. Rey smiled a little to herself.

Ren disappeared for a while to put the twins to bed. Then he came back. He sat on the edge of her bed, as far from her as possible.

He took in a deep breath. "This is... difficult."

"Yeah."

"I'm so relieved you're alright, but you think I'm-"

It was like he couldn't say it. That he was Kylo Ren. But he was. In Rey's mind, he still was.

"Show me a memory."

Ren met her eyes. He twisted his mouth in a way that felt familiar. He was thinking about it. Trying to choose which memory to show her. Rey watched him. His wavy, dark hair fell into his eyes. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept well in a while.

"Alright." Ren moved closer to her. When he first reached for her face, Rey flinched back. It was too much like their first face to face meeting on Starkiller base. Ren withdrew his hand. "Sorry."

"No. Do it." Rey steadied herself.

Ren's finger tips lightly brushed over her temples.

It felt like a dream. It was a memory through his eyes. Ren was looking around the room. The living room, the one Rey had fainted in earlier. There was clearly some kind of gathering at their house. There were at least twenty people there. Finn. Poe. And a bunch of others Rey couldn't name.

Ren was tucked into a back corner of the room. Not really interacting with anyone. His gaze came to rest on Rey. She was sitting with a black haired girl. Rose. Rey was laughing really hard at something. The kind of laugh where her teeth were showing and her eyes crinkled. When she had finished laughing she looked over at Ren and smiled a little smile, just for him.

And that was it. That was the memory. Ren took his fingers away from her temple.

She felt tired, as she predicted she might. "Thank you."

Ren gave a little nod and stood up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok." It didn't take long for Rey to fall asleep.