Chapter 4

Rey woke up the next morning feeling better. Her head hurt less. She wasn't as dizzy when she stood to get dressed. She found her clothes fairly easily. Their room was meticulously organized. That must be Ren's doing, not hers. Rey may not remember the last few years, but she knew she wasn't this neat.

She headed out into the living room. The twins were already up, sitting on the floor playing with blocks while Ren lay stretched out beside them.

"Mom!" Han's smile lit up his whole face.

"Come play," Paige said. Rey sat down next to them. She helped the kids build towers and knock them over. Her eyes flicked to Ren every so often. He used the Force to pass the twins blocks when they wanted them. Lazy. Rey smiled a little.

There was a knock on a door. Rey looked around the room. To the right of a kitchen was a short hallway, with a large front door. It opened on its own. Rey looked over to see Ren with his arm stretched out. Is this what peace time is like? Rey tilted her head. Domestic use of the force.

The woman Ren had showed her in his memory last night stepped inside, followed by a tall red-head with a scowl on his face. A little girl around the same age as the twins darted through their legs. There was a lot of talking and gesturing between the girl and the twins and before Rey knew it, they were pulling on their shoes and heading outside.

Rey looked over at Ren. "Are they allowed to do that?"

"Yeah." Ren smiled a little.

"Rey! I'm so glad you're alright." Rose ran over to her and gave her a huge hug. "Leia was asking about you lots. How's auntie Rey? Like a thousand times a day."

Rey smiled. "I've lost my memory, Rose."

"I know. Finn called last night to give me an update." Rose looked sad. Her gaze moved to Ren, now rising from the floor. He nodded at the man behind Rose.

"We have so much to talk about," Rose said. "But not now. We'll take the twins into town for a couple hours. I know this must be a lot for you." Rose gave her another hug.

"Don't feed them too much sugar, Hux," Ren said.

Hux's lips quirked slightly. "Why ever would I do that?" He and Rose left. It was very quiet after the door closed behind them.

Rey turned to Ren. "How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Good. I feel less dizzy today," Rey said. She headed into the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards. She was able to make herself a bowl of cereal with little trouble. Her body must remember through muscle memory where things were. Rey was aware Ren was watching her closely. She could feel it through the Force.

Rey ate her cereal quickly, barely pausing to breathe between bites.

"I'm glad that not much about you has changed, despite your memory loss," Ren said.

Rey looked at him in the middle of lifting her spoon. Milk sloshed over the sides. "Oh. Good." She wasn't sure what else to say. After she ate she used the Force to place her bowl in the sink. It didn't hurt as much today, not like the first time she tried. Rey felt a little dizzy, but otherwise fine. She would need to start using the Force again slowly.

"Let's go for a walk," Ren said.

"Alright."

Ren led her through a sliding door in the living room. Rey put on her boots and followed him into the grassy meadows that stretched out from their house.

His hand found hers and he intertwined their fingers.

Rey pulled her hand away and recoiled.

Ren's face was pure shock. He seemed to remember himself after a moment. "Sorry. Habit." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunching.

Rey frowned. "No. It's alright." She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his. It felt strange. Part of her was so content to hold his hand, and another felt like a traitor.

Ren seemed to relax next to her.

"Rey, could you try your best to think of me as Ben." His tone was soft.

"You can hear my thoughts?" Rey's brows drew together. He had read her mind on Starkiller base, was he doing it again?

"Just echos of it when you're not thinking at me directly. After our fight on Starkiller, the Force connected us. Our bond lets us share thoughts and connects us together," Ben said.

"Oh."

"I'll show you. Later. I can show the memory of our first conversations," Ben said.

Rey nodded. "Yes, please." His hand was big and warm. It enclosed hers so perfectly.

"I'm not reading your mind. Just so you know. But I can hear the echos of your thoughts. And that name," Ben said.

"Sorry, I just-"

"I know. You don't remember."

Rey wasn't use to him being so understanding, gentle and, she glanced at him, tall. When she had woken up in the interrogation room on Starkiller she had hated him with her whole being, but as soon as he had taken his mask off, she knew she was in trouble. Rey couldn't help but stare, at his hair, his dark eyes. He wasn't what she had been expecting.

It was warm and sunny outside. The grass was tall and there were wild flowers as far as her eyes could see. Rey looked back on their home. It was the only one in the area.

"We live so secluded. Was that my idea or yours?" Rey asked.

"Both. I wanted to be away from everyone. It was hard for me, after I left Kylo Ren behind, to feel like I would ever be accepted again... in any group. I wanted to be alone, away from anything to do with the resistance or the First Order." Ben said.

"What about me?" Rey asked. She could see herself wanting to be alone. She was so use to it from Jakku that a city would have been too much for her, but quiet with some friends close by would have been ideal.

"You're not alone."

"Neither are you."

Rey's brows drew together at the echo of the memory. When had they said that to each other?

"You wanted... to be close to your friends. And to be with me. So you were happy with anything," Ben said. Rey nodded.

"Do you have friends near by too?"

"Your friends are my friends now. And I suppose I have Hux," Ben huffed a laugh at himself.

"Hux?"

"The guy with Rose. He was with me in the first order. We didn't exactly get along back then," Ben said.

"But you were on the same side."

"Yes, but we were also against each other." Ben smiled.

Rey trailed her fingers through the spiky grass. "So Rose ended up with someone from the First Order too."

"Yeah. That's her story to tell though," Ben said. "Especially since I can't understand how anyone could love Hux."

"Some people probably said that about you."

"You're right." Ben squeezed her hand. They looped back to the house once Rey was getting tired. The twins returned shortly after that and then Ben made dinner. Rey watched him with a sort of weird fascination as he cooked. The dreaded Kylo Ren was making dinner... for their family.

Rey played with the twins until it was time for bed. Ben helped her figure out their routine and soon Rey was tucking in Han and Paige while they smiled at her.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, mom," Paige said. "I was scared."

"It was just a bump on the head. I'll be all better soon," Rey said.

"Will you tell us a story from your childhood?" Han asked.

Rey stilled. She looked at Ben. "This is a thing they like. To hear about our lives before we had them."

"Do I have any good stories?"

"You have plenty." Ben said.

Rey thought for a moment. "When I was little, I use to have dune races with the other children on Jakku. We would race each other down the hill. We used metal scraps as sleds."

"Awesome," Han said. Paige giggled.

Rey closed the door to their room and walked back into the living room with Ben. It wasn't late, but she was tired.

"I'm going to rest. Will you show me another memory?" Rey asked.

"Yes."

Rey got ready for bed and once she was seated with the covers pulled up to her waist, Ben came in and sat beside her.

"Ready?"

Rey nodded. Ben took his time moving his hand up her face toward her temple. His warm fingers trailed a long her jaw, by her ear, and into her hair line. Rey drew in a shuddering breath. Then she felt the memories come.

"Murderous snake."

Ben's shocked face when she shot him with her blaster.

His face, barely healed.

"You are a monster."

"Yes, I am."

Ben moving closer to her. The way they stared into each other's eyes.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to."

"You can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness."

"Liar."

"You'll pay for what you did."

"You're not alone."

"Neither are you."

Rey opened her eyes to Ben drawing his hand away. Her breathing was unsteady. She wiped her cheeks when she felt the tears that were rolling down them.

Rey wanted to say something to him, but the words wouldn't come. He was so different, even in those memories, from what she knew of him on Starkiller. His soul had been open for her to see. And that moment when their hands touched. Rey felt it now, through every nerve in her body. She met his eyes. Ben's mouth was tight, his eyes troubled.

"Good night, Rey."

"Good night."

She let him go. She didn't know what to say and Ben seemed to know there was nothing to be said. These memories were the past for him and the present for her. She fell back onto her pillow. Rey's mind tried to stay on the memories he'd shown her, but soon sleep won out.

It's been a while! I got laid off due to COVID-19 and I'm struggling with a health thing so I've been really tired and lacking motivation to write. Stay safe out there!

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The Priestess and the Yokai I and II by Lindsey Merril