Slowly sensation returns to her as she hears a variety of clicking sounds. Scrunching her eyes she tries to burrow deeper into the pillow. The irritating noise keeps her from returning to sleep. Flopping onto her back she huffs. Opening her eyes she let's them roam over the room. Remembering pieces of what happened. She wonders how she ended up in the bed as she throws the comforter from her and stands. The noise increases as she pulls the door open a bit, pausing for but a moment she opens it fully.
Light shimmers in the living room, falling on the empty bowl on the table. Ben is sitting on the edge of the couch, furiously clicking away on the controller in his hands. She sits beside him, studying the characters on the screen as they bash away at each other. Never noticing how his eyes strayed away from it to her. They sit in silence for a while longer as Ben keeps playing until he finally reaches a safe point. Pausing the game he turns to her with a small smile.
"Feeling alright?" He doesn't sound anywhere near as groggy as she feels.
She nods slowly, the motion interrupted by the growling of her stomach. She blushes even as he laughs. Ben stands, moving towards the fridge he takes out a container. Popping one edge of the lid he places it in the microwave. "What happened?" Her question holds no edge, only curiosity. She feels lighter then before but still so very tired.
The microwave beeps as he sets the time, humming as he pushes the button. Resting with his back against the cabinets he crosses his arms.
"After I untied you, you fell asleep." His eyes flit over to her. "Thought it would be better for you to sleep in a bed then on the floor. You did sleep long enough and this way I could catch up on some games." Saying the last with a grin.
She chuckles briefly. They fall silent with the humming in the background. Neither quite sure on what to say.
The sudden loud beeping shakes the both of them from their silent reverie. Ben prepares the table as she walks over "Eat something, you'll feel better after."
Taking a tentative first bite she hums, digging in with more fervor. "Better then I thought." Mumbling to herself.
Ben smiles wryly while commenting. "Well it was either learn how to make spaghetti or eat more of my mothers 'healty cooking'."
She laughs at his words, smiling as she speaks "It can't be as bad as grandpa's?"
Shaking his head he says "No but it's not much better either."
Gwen chuckles, looking down at her food again the smile gradualy leaves her. She picks and plays with her food instead of eating it. Slowly she speaks, curiosity in her tone as she looks at him. "Could you explain more about what I felt? It's all a bit fuzzy, I remember feeling light and hazy." She sounds puzzled at the last word, searching her memory. "It was as if only this room remained. Everything else faded away."
Placing his hands on the counter as he leans against it he replies. Choosing his words as he thinks carefully. "Subspace. The binding had you sink deep into yourself, shutting away everything but us and what you could feel." He looks out of the window. "Didn't expect it to happen on your first time though. Usually it takes a lot of familiarity and trust."
Mulling over his words she takes another bite. Chewing thoughtfully until her eyes shoot open. Turning her left wrist she sees it's bare. Patting down her pockets before turning towards Ben. Speaking urgently she questions him "You said I slept long, how long have I been here?"
Raising his eyebrows as he takes his phone out of his pocket. "It's about half past three, you …" Gwen's surprised exclamation startles him, his phone flying in the air as it bounces from hand to hand.
She pushes the chair back, rushing over to her forgotten pants and shoes. Stumbling about as she curses beneath her breath. "Late. Late! I'm so very late."
Freezing midstep she turns back to Ben who finally manages to catch his phone. Clasping her hands in front of her she looks at him. Panic in her eyes, rushing through her words. "I have to go! I made arrangements. There are assignments, tests…"
Walking towards her with his hands out in a calming gesture he speaks "Calm down Gwen. You can go, just." hesitating before he continues. "Just don't take on too much, call me if you need a moment to relax." Smiling thankfully she rushes forwards, cathing him in a quick hug before running off. Never seeing the slight blush on his face.
The rest of the day passes in a whirlwind for her, never getting a chance to breathe or to stop and think.
Flitting from one thing to the next until she finally collapses in her bed. Too tired to stand.
Yet her mind is still active enough to keep her from her sleep. Without anything to keep her thoughts occupied they turn to the one subject she has been avoiding all day. Turning it over and over in her mind. Looking at it from every angle even though it brings no other answer. She whispers the words in the silence of night. Wondering even as they bring a smile to her. "It worked."
That night she sleeps deep. For once not plagued in her dreams by the busyness of her life.
The week goes by in a flash with her renewed vigor. Tasks that would have exhausted her are done with energy to spare. The insurmountable load of work for her assignments slinks by the day. Waking in the morning with a spring in her step she is ready to face day after day.
And yet her energy can only last so long. As more days pass she feels it waning, every following one is a bit harder. She can feel the stress and anxiety return, fidgeting without notice. Rubbing her arms where she knows the marks are hidden away.
Every time she shakes herself and pushes on. Trudging forwards even as it drags at her. Not willing to admit what she needs. Every worry and thought clawing at her.
Three weeks have passed. In the middle of the night she is sitting at her desk. Phone in hand, agonising over her choice. Thumb hovering over the call button, number dialed and ready. The nail of her other thumb stuck between her teeth as she nibbles at it. Agonising over her choice while she presses down on the button.
Fretting over her nail as the dial tone sounds. Tempted to end the call with every ring until she finally hears his voice over the line. "Gwen?" His voice only slightly rough despite the hour. "You're up late." Releasing her thumb from her teeth she speaks. "Hey Ben, just doing some more work before finally going to sleep."
"Oh" By now he sounds awake and ready, a byproduct of having to wake up at a moments notice. "How have you been?"
Her answer devolves the call into small talk. Silence filling conversation going on for long minutes. She continues to fidget in her chair.
Gwen rests her head in the palm of her hand as she calls out his name in the middle of his story about the game he's playing "Ben."
His story stops, with it go the faint clicking and game blasts "Yes?"
"I need to relax." The words stumble from her mouth. A moment of stillness follows before he replies as calm as he was before. "When do you have a moment free?"
Worrying her lip between her teeth she questions "Now?"
Feet tapping, she waits for his answer. Waits for the crushing denial she is sure will come.
A wry chuckle sounds in her ear "Sure, can you make it work with your parents?"
Springing up at the first word that comes through the phone she rushes about her room. Stomach flopping around. Searching everything she'll need for the next day. "Don't worry about that, I'll be there in half an hour." Ending the call before he gets the chance to reply.
Briskly gathering everything she'll need for the next day she tiptoes through the house. Leaving a note on the kitchen table for her parents before she leaves.
Th drive flies by as her thoughts race, never staying still long enough to form a coherent thought. One moment she is getting in her car, the next she is leaving it. Hefting her bag over her shoulder as she hurries towards the door. It opens before she manages to reach, walking inside with swift steps.
Merely pausing at the top of the stairs to drop her shoes she asks. "Where can I leave my bag for the morning?"
His eyes tighten at her abruptness. Nodding over to the bathroom he answers "Same place where you can change. I'll set things up in here."
Changing her clothes into the same outfit as last time she places her hands beside the sink. Lowering her head as she takes a shuddering breath. Her eyes close. Little pink slashes appear across her arms.
Glowing pink eyes surveil her mirror image, tracing each scar on her skin. Anguish briefly flashing across her face before it is overcome by her determination.
The glow fades as she turns. Walking out the door she pauses as she sees Ben standing beneath one of the beams of the ceiling. Clad in simple sweatpants and a black shirt he stares at the beam overhead. A calculating expression on his face. One foot before the next she moves forward.
Coming to a stop she stands stiff as a board before him. Her tension easily visible. Arms and legs straight, her chin tilted to the ground. Ben moves around her, shaking his head at the fact that she let it come this far again.
Standing behind her, he takes one wrist per hand. Lifting her arms with a deliberate motion until they stick out to either side. Taking a rope coil from the table next to him. Letting it run against her skin as he brings it before his chest. Undoing the coil with slow moves.
He lets the rope run around her midsection and back over her shoulders. Running both strands between her breasts. Looping them back he creates a chest harness. Placing one solid hand on her back he pulls the ropes taut. She hisses at the pressure while he ties the knot.
Stepping away from her he takes a chair to stand on. Tying the remaining end around the beam she's standing under. Keeping it carefully stretched.
Pulling her arms down and back he ties them together starting at her wrists. The rope bites in her arms even as she twists her wrists to feel it. Tying the rope up high enough around her arms so that she can't bring them down again. Throwing the end over the beam he lets it dangle in the air.
Standing before her again he pauses. Her eyes shut but no longer pinched. Some of the tension finally leaving her even as the slightest tremble goes through her. Throwing about half a coil of rope over the beam he pulls until it hangs about evenly.
Letting the tips of his fingers go over the side of her leg, he wraps his fingers around the back of her knee. Pulling slightly on it she resists, a frown marring her beautiful face. Ben sighs, his question a whisper against her skin. "Do you trust me?"
Her frown deepens before disappearing, relaxing her leg she let's him pull it up in the air. Circling the rope around her thigh. Tying the end off in a knot higher up in the rope. He moves around to her back, laying his hand on the back of her other knee. He whispers from beside her "Trust me?" wrapping his other arm around her. Feeling her chest rise and fall with every breath.
Nodding shakily she feels the loss of her support. The sudden sharp drop of millimeters. Heart hammering. Hanging in the air, supported by her harness as he ties the remaining leg slightly off from the other.
Moving off behind her he grasps the dangling length, pulling on it slowly. When it is taut her arms begin to raise in the air with each steady stroke. Groaning as she feels the tendons in her shoulders stretch the higher it goes.
Ben ties off the rope before taking a step back. Simply looking at her as she hangs in the air. Her red locks framing her face even as she sways slightly in the air. Her mouth open as her breath becomes heavier from the strain she feels. Taking the camera from it's place he lines up the shot. The clicks loud in the stillness of the room.
Walking over to her raised knees he gazes at her flushed visage. Taking a last photo of her before he puts the camera away again. Undoing the knot above her left knee he grasps the right one. Slowly he brings her leg down until she can stand on her foot, keeping the right aloft with his hand. She groans as the tension in her arms lessens.
Holding her leg up he moves around her, moving it down and to the back. Startled she tilts forward. Meanwhile Ben extends her leg out and begins to tie the end of the rope around her ankle. Mimicking the arabesque pose from the ballet class she used to take.
Standing beside her he bends down to grasp her ankle. Bending her leg at the knee until her calf is against the back of her thigh he begins to loop the rope around her leg. Tying it off with a tight knot. He moves her dangling body until she is hanging horizontally in the air. Her left leg stretched out while the right is tied to her harness, holding it up.
Turning away from her he walks over to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and filling them with water. Careful to keep her in his peripheral vision as he does so. Placing one on the bedside table in his bedroom. He throws open the covers and comes back to the living room. Taking a drink he gazes at her. A suspended piece of living, breathing art. A beautiful sight that pains his heart.
Placing his drink down on the table he begins the delicate process of untying her. Releasing her right leg first she gasps at the tingles that run through it. Loosening the rope that holds her arms aloft he lets them rest tied as they are on her back.
Steadily he lowers her left leg after untying it. Careful that she doesn't lose balance and begins swaying by her harness. She stands again. Slightly hunched over, her arms behind her back. Length after length drops to the floor as he releases her arms from their binding. Tracing the marks the rope left behind before bringing her arms down to her sides.
Undoing the rope that keeps her harness tied to the beam above he is careful to keep it taut and stretched until he stands right behind her. His chest to her back. He hears how heavy her breath is. Circling his arm around her midriff he lets go off the rope. Feels her heart hammer as she slumps against him
His arms the only thing that hold her up. Gently lowering the both of them to the floor. She pants. Holding her close he pulls on the rope. Loosening the harness with harsh gestures that make her twitch and gasp.
Finally the rope lays forgotten on the ground as she rests against him. Threading his fingers through her hair. He gathers her in his arms before he stands, grunting slightly at the weight. Ambling towards the bedroom while her head rests against his chest. Her hand holding on to the collar of his shirt.
Setting her down on the bed he grabs the glass, holding it up to her lips. She drinks greedily, spilling a few drops down her chin. Taking the glass he places it back on the bedside table. Covering her with the sheets he tries fruitlessly to make her let go of his collar. One eye opens in a glare as she feels the tugging at the cloth in her fist cease. All she sees is his naked back as he walks through the door, flicking off the light on his way out.
Darkness claims the room and with it herself as she stops her desperate grasp of the waking world.
Simply burrowing into the covers and the cloth still clasped in her hand.