Robert would not believe it. He didn't know if he ever would. He felt utter despair. Not because of the possibility that losing his heir and the continuation of his family line. The war didn't make that important anymore. All he wanted was his daughters' happiness. He had truly thought of Matthew as the son he never had.
Captain Crawley would be listed as missing, presumed dead until proven otherwise.
He felt into even deeper despair, when he was found,his back broken, more so for his daughter and Matthew, what their life would be like now. At least he was alive. How much the young lad might believe it, dead wasn't better.
He could have died, it had been touch and go. He had talked with Cora about it. He usually could talk to her about anything, but not recently he hadn't been able to. She'd been thinking he'd bring up the Boer war, so very different from this one. 1902, it had been twelve years since they had married. He had nightmares over the first few years. And Cora had accused him of not being there for her, for the girls. That it had been his choice to go to war.
He had heard Mary arguing with Isobel about it in a similar fashion.
"It's a man's duty to fight for his King and Country." Isobel was explaining to Mary.
"And that's more important to him?"
"Of course it's not."
"You should have tried, not to let him go."
"I did try."
"You should have tried harder."
He had only caught fragments of their conversation. He had thought back to the day he had signed up. He had taken her into the nursery.
"They're the reason." He had told Cora.
It wasn't just the fact that he had left her for war. She had blamed his time away he chose away from his daughters. Choosing it over his family. She came to see that he was doing it to protect them, so they'd be safe. Then, when he came home, her distance, she blamed the nightmares on him. She came to understand them and didn't do so now. He resented the thought of talking to her about this current war.
He had come home to a different world, just like many soldiers would be coming home to one, they themselves damaged.
All his friends were dead. He would understand what Matthew was going through.
He went to the hospital before they would be moving him to Downton to convalesce. When his eyes first fell on him, he scarcely recognised him.
His hair was dark and his face pale, as if he hadn't seen the sun in ages, he was rather on the thin side, his cheeks hollow. Bruises or were their shadows, under his eyes? His face had scratches, that would turn into scars. Nothing too bad. There was nothing to suggest that there was anything wrong with him.
"Nerves are shot, that one. He woke a few times. " The orderly said as he approached."Didn't know where he was. Could be the morphine. Pray to God that's all it is. Do you know 'im?"
"Captain Crawley, he's my cousin. I'm Robert Crawley. Lord Grantham." Displaying no emotion in his voice as he was trained to do. His eyes dropped to Matthew again. "Do they know what happened to him? He was missing before..." Robert stopped. He couldn't continue.
"Captain Crawley, now I remember. Their regiment got hold up, the Jerries dropping shells on them non stop. No reinforcements. The lot of them were taken prisoner. A board collapsed on 'im, was there for hours. He was. Pulled out by his batman."
"William Mason. Is there any word on him?"
"They'll be moving him to Downton from Leeds as soon as possible."
"That's good to know. Do you know what happened then?"
"Then they assisted another soldier, that's what the young lad said. That's when they were stuck by the blast from the looks of it."
"Matthew said that? You said he woke."
"No. The few times he woke he wasn't coherent, ravin' and confused and what not. Young Mason told us what happened. Poor lad. Doesn't look like he's going to make it." It was always the young ones.
"What are his injuries?" Robert nodded toward Matthew.
"I'm sure the doctor will tell you."
He still looked whole, even after he had seen the bruising on his back. Robert knows he will never be quite whole again.
He talks to him, while he's 'asleep.' Talking to him will help. Though he does it when no one is present, late at night. He doesn't know if the words get across. He tells him how proud of him he is. He's part of the family. Robert had always liked him from the moment they had met. He tells Matthew as such. And he knows that how much he loves his daughter. What ever he decides, weather he still wants to marry her or not, he'll accept it.
"Love our little girl – you were created to love her in a way that only you can. Cling to that love with all your might. Bind it to your heart. Us Crawley's have a saying you know, loyalty binds me. Fitting that you became a lawyer. Middle class no less. That doesn't matter now like it shouldn't have before. You're a true Crawley, through and through. I know you'll pull through this for that very reason. This isn't the end for you, even though you may feel like it is. As long as you have Mary, have us. We know you would give up your life for her, what ever you decide, please don't leave us."
And day by day, he was showing improvement. He believed it to be Mary's doing, by him just sensing her there. He had doubted that any of his words had been heard. Still, for what other reason, he came back to them. He was going to pull through. With Mary egging on, he expected further improvement. He was doing it for her sake. He would do right by his daughter, despite how many times he rebuff's her help.
Loyalty, and a stubborn nature to recon with.
That loyalty was tested.
Matthew had known Patrick, albeit briefly before the Titanic went down. And then that he had a letter from Patrick, from earlier in the year, it was instructed to be delivered to him upon Patrick's death and to give it to Mary. Matthew had believed that Patrick had died in the sinking until he came across him on the battlefield.
Robert felt betrayed, disbelief, that the man he loved like his own son would intentionally betray them like this.
He had to take a step back and re-think, as his youngest daughter said, There is a war on. And he's been out of sorts."
He hadn't done it on purpose. That reasoning didn't explain why he didn't mention that he had known Patrick. As his mind cleared a bit from the cloud of anger, Robert didn't really had to second guess. Patrick hadn't wanted to be Earl, and hadn't wanted to disappoint him. While the Crawley's tried to be noble, as the nobles that they were, and loyal and true, there was another side of them that was far from perfect.
While we all dream of having family members who love us unconditionally, support us without question, and would never, ever betray us, the unfortunate truth of the matter is that many families are the exact opposite. We may go through life believing in this fairy tale until slapped in the face by the harsh reality that your family is more like a snake pit, with venomous siblings who will strike you with their poison in your darkest hour. It had almost undone generations in the past if not the financial troubles. The worst of the Crawley side, or the Smith's on his mother paternal side?
Rosamund, in her giant ego, she was entitled to the very best of everything the world had to offer her. She was better and much smarter than everyone. His role in her life-long play, growing up, was that of "scapegoat", constantly bearing the brunt of being blamed for any and every problem, bad deed (whether accidental or intentional) or other family issue. But it all would back fire because he was the future Earl and could do no wrong. Mary had used to think that was what he and her mother thought of Matthew. (Cora been awfully silent on Matthew's condition, his paralysis. It was a troubling sign when Cora was silent about something.) Mary had accused him of hailing Matthew, the "golden child", pun intended, molding himself into the person he thought would most impress him. Which had been far from the truth. She had known it and had just been angry and jealous. And then there was the hostility towards Edith, he did not understand it.
War put all of that on the back burner. One small indiscretion, intentional or not was not worth losing family over right now, not in these trying times. Everyone was losing a family member here or there. They had to stick together as a family if they were to survive.