Authors Note: So. 2015 was officially the longest year of my life and I'm so incredibly glad it's over because I feel quite honestly like I can breathe once again. I was really hoping it would end on a happy note, but it did not. I found out I was pregnant in November and in December, specifically on the fifteenth when I was three months pregnant, I miscarried. It was the hardest week of my life, I can't explain what it's like except that I couldn't go through it again and I don't pray and I'm not religious in the slightest but I have never prayed so hard in my life for just something to make the pain stop and to help the grieving.
Anywhom enough with my lame ass sob story of a life. It's 2016 which means it's time for me to start over again. So here's a new chapter of this and enjoy it. Anyway, thanks for those who have hung in there! Read and Review. I'm not sure how great this chapter turned out, I feel a little iffy about it but you know. Oh well.
Thanks!
It was the Thursday before their large announcement and Hermione wasn't sure if what she was feeling was a grave sickness (one that she greatly hoped would lead to her death) or just a very large case of extreme stress and anxiety that seemed to be crippling her. Usually her schoolwork served as the world's greatest distraction towards anything that seemed to trouble her mind but for the past week, it did nothing of the sort. She felt as though her mind had simply cracked and she'd become absolutely bat-crazy with paranoia. Every time she saw a girl turn to whisper to her friend, their eyes glancing at Hermione she would die with certainty. This is it, he told everyone. I'm done for, I've lived a great life, I wished I'd at least been a bit more adventurous (or at least kissed one other boy besides Tom Riddle).
However, as paranoid as she had become, the whispers were nothing more than the remainder of the stupid silly rumors that had plagued her since she first started at this stupid school. At one point earlier in the week, she'd been coming around the corner and Ron had popped out, simply as a joke to scare her and it'd worked so well she'd actually burst into tears, much to a very frightened and apologetic Ron. It wouldn't have been so bad if exams had been close and she would be able to blame this sudden jumpy and spastic Hermione to everyone as her way of dealing with the stress of studying, but exams were still at least a month and a half away and their professors hadn't even begun the exam study sheets for them.
Tom seemed to have sense that he was having this effect on her and enjoyed it much to her chagrin. He, as he put it, was simply paying Hermione back for her childish actions she had pulled with "the Weasley boy" as he so often referred to Ron. Making small jokes and comments about all the things they would do once they began dating and with every joke, she felt herself growing even crazier by the second and she honestly was at a lost at what to do about any of it.
In Hermione's mindset, the best thing about this entire dilemma was that her friends had finally become accustomed to her odd friendship with Tom Riddle, they made no more comments and simply ignored it; she couldn't have been more eternally grateful if she'd fallen off a cliff and they'd caught her. At one point, Ginny had even gone as far as to remain seated at the lunch table when Tom came to sit next to her to bother her. Though she was sure he'd originally planned to bother her about something else, he'd changed his mind and made up some dull conversation about homework from Snape's class with a few comments to show his true nature here and there. However, Hermione hadn't missed the very odd look Ginny would send the both of them when at one point they got into their usual banter.
"Snape hates me anyway. I think he knows about our "friendly" academic competition. .He probably gives you the grade you deserve and purposely marks me down four points below you." She snapped at him when he'd made a comment about her marks on a movie review she'd turned in that morning.
"I'd do the same thing if I had an intolerable know-it-all in my class too." He reached over to grab the brownie off Hermione's plate. "Ah!"
"I want that." She had smacked his hand retrieving the brownie from his fingers, carefully eyeing him as she licked the frosting on the top to prevent him from grabbing it.
"Oh no! Cooties!" He rolled his eyes before reaching over to grab the brownie anyway, shoving the whole thing into his mouth in one bite. "Hopefully I won't die."
"That's disgusting, I hope I have mono." She rolled her eyes at him but not before getting a very wide-eyed what the hell look from her best friend sitting next to her.
Though their apparent friendship, if that's what anyone wanted to call it because that certainly wasn't what she was calling it, while weird to her friends, was simply outrageous to everyone in the entire school. Though nobody was going to question The Amazing Tom Riddle on his choice of friends, they had no problem making snide remarks about it to Hermione when he wasn't around; something which she'd also grown very used too. In all truthfulness, the last thing on her mind was how much everyone in this school seemed to despise the fact that Tom enjoyed spending an abhorrent amount of time with the new poor girl, it was that tomorrow she was going to have to come up with some great explanation on why she'd ignored all her friends warnings and why she'd chosen Tom Riddle over Ron Weasley.
Some desolate part of her actually thought she might be simply relieved if it came to be that they would all be so angry that they'd just stop talking to her, Ginny would request she move out and Hermione could get her own room because no one would want to share a dorm with her and she could just be all by herself; sitting alone and listening to nothing but the obnoxious ramblings of the boy who ruined her life in the shortest amount of time someone could. However, she didn't think she would be that lucky and it would probably turn into a large ugly mess that she'd be forced into the middle of.
"It won't be that bad you know." Tom was sitting beside her on a couch in the library, it was only two hours from curfew and she'd decided she wanted to sit in the library alone. Hermione realized that she needed to change her definition of alone because being alone usually always consisted of Tom Riddle's unwanted company. "I mean, I'll be your first boyfriend. This ought to be exciting for you."
"You will not be my first boyfriend, good God." She leaned her head back on the couch, a large mythology book opened across her lap. "Why do you always assume you're my first in everything?"
"Because you're so inexperienced in everything we do that it's an easy assumption to make, though I'm actually positive they are less assumptions than they are stating accurate scientific facts." He was working on some homework with his legs propped up on the coffee table in front of them, the sides of his thighs pressed against Hermione's.
"You just don't like to think that somebody got to the goods before you." She continued with her reading, turning to the next page.
Tom laughed, snorting to turn to her and give her a cheeky smile.
"The goods, is that what we are calling you now? That's great, I love it."
"You can call it sloppy seconds, because that's what they are." She replied hotly.
"You don't think too highly of yourself, now do you? I'll have to fix that. You're too innocent and raw to have had firsts of any kind. I've doubt you even ever had an orgasm."
The word made Hermione blush so deeply she could feel the heat from her face traveling to her feet, her skin becoming prickly beneath her cardigan. She let her mouth hang open in aghast to turn and look at him (even if he were correct). Though this kind of conversation didn't surprise her coming from him, he'd never really brought that fact clearly to her attention unless you pointed out all the times he'd constantly called her a virgin.
"We've repeatedly stated I haven't had sex why does that surprise you so much?" She didn't really enjoy talking about her sex life to him and felt embarrassed even saying these things outside of her own mind.
Tom's mouth dropped open and he seemed to be searching her face for something, his eyes placing all across her face looking for some sign of humor or joking that maybe she hadn't actually meant what she'd just said. She must've said something incredibly stupid for he suddenly burst out laughing, his cheeks tinting pink and his hands snapping his homework text book shut in his lap turning towards her.
"Say that again, I need to hear you say that again. Oh my God, please." He begged her and she felt her face redden even more.
"Stop it, what did I say?" She pushed at his hands that had come together in some praying fashion towards her. "I didn't say anything stupid. Why are you acting like that? I've never had sex so I've never had an orgasm, why are you looking at me- Stop laughing! What's so funny!?"
"Hermione, oh my God." He removed his feet off the coffee table. "You honestly think that having sex is the only way to have an orgasm?"
She didn't say anything, just turned away with her cheeks flaming in embarrassment. She was very well aware of the fact that she wasn't exactly sex-savvy. She knew the basics of sex and some other things, but she honestly did her best to ignore those kind of things. Surely Tom knew, since he obviously knew so much about her, that he was the farther she'd ever gone with a boy. She definitely wouldn't say she was stupid when it came to sex, but it wasn't her best subject.
"That's not what I meant! I just meant that I've never had- if you're going to keep laughing I'm going to leave!" She stood up huffily, feeling slightly like a small child. "That isn't what I meant!"
"Okay, if you know so much then tell me, what are some other ways you can have an orgasm Hermione?" The bright smile that was on his face made her hands curl into fists. "Well go on, I'm waiting."
"I'm not going to talk about that, that's disgusting and hardly a topic I'd share with you." She knew her face was red and she was quite aware that he knew she didn't really know anything.
"Would you like for me to share with you then? Or perhaps I could show you?" He made to move towards her.
"No, we're done. I'm going back up to the common area. Goodnight Tom Riddle."
"Hey, you're not leaving yet. We've still got two hours until curfew and you said you would spend it with me." He almost sounded whiney.
"That wasn't what I said, I said that I had to study anyway and you were going to bother me either way. Those are different answers, one implies that I wanted to actually spend time with you." She sat back down pushing herself towards the opposite end of the sofa. "After tomorrow, you'll be lucky if I even speak to you anymore."
"You're right, with all the snogging and what not, since it'll be official and all." He leaned back against the arm of the couch throwing his legs over her lap. "It'll be all sunshine and daisies after that."
She glared at him shoving his feet off of her lap and grabbed her book back, ignoring whatever he had started saying next. She was going to have more than enough Tom Riddle to last her the next few decades after tomorrow since she most likely wouldn't have any friends, she'd rather sit in silence tonight. Tom must've finally agreed because five minutes later she realized it was still silent and he'd actually stopped speaking to her. She didn't mean too, but found herself studying him as he read over his textbook. She knew exactly why everyone liked him so much, it was easy to see if she was watching from a distance.
He was unbelievably charming and charismatic, his manners were that of an utmost gentleman. He always said hello to his professors and held the door open for ladies. She even witnessed him on several occasions carry books for other girls to their classrooms, of which she was very embarrassed to admit she felt a tad bit of jealousy at. He was smart and that seemed to be an understatement, eager to answer all questions in class, he was eager to take all extra credit assignments and turn everything in a day early if possible. He reminded Hermione slightly of herself in such ways. Tom would stay after class to speak with his teachers and they seemed to love him, especially Slughorn who doted on the boy as if he were his own son. When with his friends, they always seem to stare at him as if he were the Holy Grail, quick to laugh at his jokes, listening to his every word with complete fascination.
It was odd to her, to see him interact with other students in such a reserved, gentlemanly fashion, than to his friends as if he were they leader and them, his devote followers. Than when it came to her, as if he were simply a regular teenage boy, an obnoxious teenage boy at that, but there was no denying it. He was smart, he was well mannered, and he was attractive. Good heavens was he ridiculously attractive, and it didn't matter what he did either, he managed to always look like a young Greek god. His blue eyes so dark and un-telling that accentuated a face sculpted so perfectly and skin so smooth it made her skin tingle every time she touched it.
He wasn't always so obnoxious to her though. There were times where his behavior surprised her so greatly that it made her freeze in her tracks. Several times over the past month she'd arrived to breakfast or lunch and he'd have already retrieved her lunch for her with food she couldn't seem to remember telling him she liked but most certainly did. One time she was walking to her locker to get her books for her next class and she found him standing by, politely holding her books waiting for her. They were small things that seemingly slipped her mind, but thinking of them she found herself becoming mildly surprised.
"You ought to take some pictures if you're going to keep staring like that." A small grin played on his lips though his gaze was still on his book. "I know I'm attractive, but you mustn't be so obvious about it."
It was then she remembered why she couldn't stand him.
"I wasn't staring, I was observing." She said in a know-it-all voice.
"Oh, excuse me. Well, you have to pay to observe, looking this good isn't cheap you know?"
"Oh, I can imagine, daddy must pay a fortune to keep you looking like the well-groomed pet you are."
"Oh he does, don't you worry dear, and as soon as tomorrow hits, dear old daddy Tom will do the same for you." He leaned over to pat her on the head giving her a dear mordant smile.
"Oh, will he really? Wonderful, I've always wanted a sugar daddy." Her voice was dripping sarcasm. "I've got no other chances at making it in this world otherwise."
"That's exactly what I'm here for Hermione. To be there for helpless girls like yourself, what would you do without my sex and my mo-Of!" His words were cut off by a jab in the side by her sharp elbow.
"You still haven't changed your mind about tomorrow then? No chances?" She doodled absent mindedly on the paper that rested in her book, the book where she should have been writing study notes but so far only had two sentences written.
"Nope, none at all. You know, most women would be thrilled at having me as a boyfriend."
"Those would be the women whose lives aren't at risk at being stuck in a school for the next year and half with no friends, or the women whose only friends are those of the boy she just turned down. I'm still not completely sure why I don't just say no to this whole thing and ruin my life myself, I mean, what's the difference? Does it really matter which way I ruin my life?"
"It doesn't honestly, but I guarantee you I could make it much worse than you could. Your friends will most likely get over the fact that you're dating someone they hate, but lying. Nobody forgives a liar. They might say they do, but they'll never fully accept you again. It's like when you cheat on a spouse Hermione, they might take you back, but it always there. It sits in the back of your head, eating at you slowly every day, gnawing at your insides every time they say they're leaving, every time they get a phone call, every time they walk out the door. You never forget it."
"That's a vivid metaphor, had a bad experience with cheating have you?" She asked giving him an odd look, but it fell away slowly.
His face had taken on a look she hadn't seen before, though she'd seen him serious before this was a little different. He wasn't looking at her but rather as if he was seeing something through her, like he couldn't see she was there. His face looked almost angry and empty as if he were somewhere else.
"Tom?" His head snapped towards her and he blinked fluidly staring at her for a moment then he smiled quickly, erasing the look in a second as if it were never there.
"Listen Hermione, like I said. It'll be easier done my way than yours." He shrugged and turned back to his book.
She stared at him for a while longer. It wasn't until a small alarm went off on the watch on Tom's wrist that she realized Tom had stopped speaking for an hour after his odd comment. They'd sat studying in complete silence, which sounded relatively normal, but it wasn't. It was very rare that Tom sat with her for such a long period of time without saying anything. He stood up and began to put away his things, not bothering to look or speak to her as she did the same. He barely spoke even as they walked out of the library, walking at the pace of snails back to their commons area.
"Tom?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Did I say something to upset you earlier? About the cheating?" She spoke quietly, as if speaking any louder might anger him.
His face showed nothing, she couldn't imagine how good he must be at playing poker.
"No, why do you ask?"
"You just seemed a little off put when you brought it up, that's all." She shrugged trying to play cool.
"You're reading too much into things. You must be nervous about tomorrow, don't worry though. I've got big plans, don't worry about it."
"Tom," She turned towards him, her eyes doing their best to play puppy dog. "Can we please not to this?" She even decided puppy eyes wasn't going to do the trick however and went for the top.
She slowly moved her hands out, dropping the puppy dog eyes and give her face a more seductive appearance. She moved around him, placing her hands on his chest trying to play graceful. He eyed her curiously, one pointed eyebrow raised staring down at her. She slowly raked a hand up his chest and moved the other down his arm.
"I just like what he have so much right now…can't we just keep it this way?" She found it was rather hard to ignore the heavy shiver that was chilling her spine from the way she was touching him. "It's rather exciting for us to keep doing this and have no one know."
He still said nothing, eyeing her hands as she continued to curl her fingers on his chest and arms. However, she rather felt that she was enjoying this much more than she was supposed to, a warm feeling resounding in the depths of her stomach at the hard muscle she felt beneath her fingers. His body was warm and his skin was defined and she wanted to slap herself for the secret sense of pleasure she was getting from her hands on his body.
She jumped rather suddenly when his hands grabbed hers, pushing her back on the steps that they were standing on and against the wall. Her breath came out of her chest rather swiftly and she found her face mere centimeters from his, a rather hungry look gleamed in his eyes.
"Hermione, are you afraid that if we commit, I won't love you intimately anymore?" His finger stroked her face and she hiccupped a small breath. He smiled at her warmly and moved down on her cheek, sending very small kisses across the soft skin of her face. "Hermione, if it's excitement you're looking for, I would never let you down."
He trailed small kisses back from her cheek to her lips drew back, his breath blowing across her lips before softly pressing against hers. She felt her heart fluster and found herself involuntarily leaning into the kiss. His hand gripped her face gently but firmly enough to keep her lips in place with his. He kept his lips there for several moments before pulling away.
"The deal stays."
Hermione wasn't sure how the morning was going to go, he didn't exactly explain to her what was going to happen or even when. She did know that she hadn't gotten one ounce of sleep and she felt so tired that she might have fallen asleep standing up if she was given the chance. She simply rolled her eyes at her appearance, black circles under her eyes so dark it looked as though she'd taken charcoal and smeared it under her eyes.
"You look awful, good God." Ginny was very quick to point it out, and her lack of sleep made it very hard for her not to snip back without thinking before she spoke.
"I didn't sleep very well."
Ginny was kind enough to lend (more like force) some under eye makeup and try to fix it, though it didn't do much, it helped. She sat in front of the door rather solemnly for moment staring at the students that were walking down the hall way towards the commons area. She felt like the moment she stepped a foot out the door, her entire life was going to end, though that was a tad dramatic.
"Are you coming or not?" Ginny was giving her an odd look, waiting for her on the other side of the door.
"Yes, of course." She stepped over the threshold and closed her eyes, as if a bang of confetti and a banner were to drop down announcing the news but nothing happened and she couldn't see Tom anywhere in the hallway, not that he'd have been waiting at her door or anything.
Hermione's stomach was so twisted and turned into knots that she felt like every step she took was almost crippling, it seemed too absolutely ridiculous to her. The moment she stepped into the common's area, she might've fallen or thrown up, Tom stood talking to several of his friends smiling charismatically at something one of them had said but stopped and turned when he noticed her entering. His smile grew a tad wider and he said something to his group and began to make his way towards her and she had the sudden idea that she might run back to her room. She might be making a spectacle of herself but in reality, as she (quickly) weighed her options, that would only make this entire ordeal much worse. She was very aware that at this moment, the worse part of the entire thing was she knew exactly what he was going to do as he walked over to her.
"Good morning," He came forward and placed a soft hand on her cheek, turning her to the side so that the entire room was able to view, and kissed her.
Not just a quick, hello-good morning kiss, no. It lasted, and she had counted, at least four seconds. Four seconds of his lips pressed deeply onto hers with the entire common room in plain view to watch, four seconds of absolute stunning silence that came over the room. Four seconds of the most heart wrenching, all-telling, awful kissing she'd ever had to experience. Four seconds of her heart race picking up a beat so fast it almost blew through her chest, four seconds of body covering goosebumps from the taste and feel of his always soft lips.
When he pulled away, her face had lost all the blood that was in it and she felt like she could have melted down into her loafers. The smile that was on his face looked dream-like and although the twitch that she felt her hand seemed so overwhelming at the moment, she did her best to ignore it. The entire room was staring at them as though they'd just had sex in front of everyone. Ginny's mouth was gaped and her face was just about as white as she imagined hers was.
"Ready for breakfast love?' He held out an elbow for her to link hers in and she forced herself to swallow the vomit that was sitting so readily in her throat.
"I-I'll meet you at breakfast." The words croaked out of her throat and sounded odd and broken as she turned to Ginny to say good-bye, but the expression of her face remained the same.
Though as they moved closer to the large door towards the staircase a few whispers could be made out, it remained silent until Tom had led her to the staircase where they acquired many more stares with their interlinking arms.
"My life is ruined. I've never hated someone so much. I cannot believe this is what my life has come too." She was talking to herself as they walked, pointedly ignoring the looks of the students they walked passed.
"Oh hush. It's not that bad, they'll be over it in a month. As for your friends, I can't say the same. You know how it goes though I'm sure, if they were truly your friends, this wouldn't do anything." He walked her into the Great Hall and led her to an empty table to go grab their breakfasts.
Hermione decided the best course of action at this moment in time was to place her head on her arms so that she could pretend there was nobody around her, staring at her like she was some odd parasite. Her silence and comfort in her arms only lasted a few seconds before someone sat next to her, shaking her arm vigorously.
"Care to explain what the hell is going on?" She looked up and found herself face to face with an exceedingly angry red-head. Hermione felt a heavy sense of relief that her other two friends were not with her. "Well? I'm waiting, you owe me something."
"It just happened…I don't know. We haven't been dating long and you guys all hated him-"
"Ah, Miss Weasley, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Tom spoke as though welcoming someone into his home.
"I'm not talking to you," Ginny turned to give him a rather intimidating glare and then turned back to Hermione. "So you just weren't going to tell me anything? Just hide that you're dating the biggest asshole in school? Is that why you wouldn't date Ron, why didn't you say anything?"
"Really? The biggest? That's a stretch…no pun intended." Ginny turned and sent him an even thicker glare.
"It wasn't like that…I knew that you guys were going to be upset and I was trying to think of a way to tell you guys and I don't know. I tried telling Ron I didn't want anything but friendship…" Hermione's mouth felt dry and puffy, her tongue swelling to fill her mouth and making speech hard to come by.
Ginny didn't look like she was accepting any of the words coming out of her mouth anyway, she rather looked like she was tempted to punch her in the face. Hermione would've welcomed it at this point, her stomach hurt and her head was starting to pound and being knocked out might fix all of it at once.
"So lying felt like the right thing to do? You didn't think just telling me about what was happening? You were just secretly seeing him behind our backs and then leading Ron on like that?"
"I didn't lead Ron on…I just-"
"No, just. I'm not going to discuss this here in public. Actually, I just really don't want to talk to you. You might as well leave Ron and Harry alone too. See you later, Hermione." Ginny flipped her red hair around as she turned walking out of the lunch room.
Hermione noticed several students were sitting very directly at attention as though they were eating their lunches, but they clearly were not. They were sitting with their ears facing towards their table and several students looked away when she moved her eyes to catch contact with them. She could live with the entire school listening in to the conversation that just took place; what she couldn't handle was the fact that she was close to tears it was taking every single ounce of willpower she had to stop the flow. She couldn't put her head down now, that would certainly cause her to cry.
"That was a tad dramatic, don't you think?" Tom pushed his seat in and slid Hermione her plate of breakfast, the sight of which brought bile up her throat. "Girls can be rather fussy, can't they?"
"If I hadn't been so eager to be smarter than everyone here, I might not have been in this situation, I wouldn't be here if I was stupid." She leaned back lazily in her chair and used her fork to pick at the omelet Tom had gotten her.
"I've never told you what I liked to eat. How do you know what I like?" She said taking a small timid bite. "That's just creepy."
"You think that's creepy? What till you find out what else I know, I'm full of sadistic stalkeresque information. I've completely memorized your diary."
"I don't have a diary." Of course she was lying, she most definitely had a diary and she kept it hidden in the rip of her suitcase that laid under her bed. She had no intentions of leading Tom to find it even existed.
"Now you're lying. It's not very smart to lie to the only friend you have left." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye condescendingly.
She didn't say anything, her stomach was rolling and the food in her mouth tasted bland and the texture made her feel slightly sick. She could feel all the eyes in the cafeteria burning into her on all sides and she wanted very desperately to just sink down into the ground and never return. She couldn't see any type of positive outcome today and wondered how much trouble she might get in if she skipped all her classes for the day. Tom would probably guess and give her detention or turn her in, so that seemed like a poorly thought out plan.
The urge to cry was so overwhelming, the burning behind her eyes made them sting and she had to sniff loudly to inhale the tears that sat heavily in her eyes. She would not cry in front of the school and she would most certainly not cry in front of Tom Riddle. She had no doubts for how perceptive he was, he definitely knew she was trying not to cry but he said nothing to comfort her and did nothing to help. That only made it even worse. She was very aware of the fact that no matter what she did from now on, it would be watched and spoken about, so standing up suddenly and leaving was not an option.
Hermione couldn't think of anything that would help her out of the terrible predicament she was being placed in. She pushed her fingers into her hair and looked up across the great hall where her friends sat giving her quite possibly the foulest look she'd ever received. That wasn't the worst of it, the worst part was that Ronald Weasley was purposely looking everywhere but her; ignoring her and the boy she sat with as if she were nothing. Her heart panged, she could stand being hated on but being ignored so intensely by someone she considered her closest friend was difficult.
"He'll get over it, don't beat yourself up." Tom's voice caused her to jump from her thoughts.
"I don't want them to have to get over anything. Why in the hell do you want to be my boyfriend so bad?" She pushed her plate away from her, she couldn't stand another bite. Her throat felt itchy and the burning feeling from her eyes had spread down to her throat.
"Why are you so upset that I want to be your boyfriend?" He took a piece of toast from her plate and started eating at it.
"I can't stand you. You're obnoxious, a know-it-all, tricky, you lie a lot, you're arrogant, and you're just plain annoying." She spat out.
"You'll grow to love me Hermione, if you don't already, eventually you'll have to admit it to yourself. Until then, if you'd rather live in denial, that's all you. If you hated me as much as you said you did, you wouldn't be in this situation." He finished his breakfast and made to stand up. "I'm done, I'll walk you to class."
"I don't want to go to class. I couldn't focus on anything even if I wanted too." She threw her plate away and grabbed her bag. "I may go to the nurse's office and play sick."
"Everyone will know why, that's not a very good idea. You'll have to work through it today, it won't be that bad." He held an elbow out for her in a curt manner.
She stared at his arm trying to contain the heavy sinking feeling that was blossoming in her chest. His face held no emotion and she couldn't seem to understand why that was pissing her off so much. She placed her arm in his and walked doing her best to mimic the façade he held on his face but it was no use, her entire body was burning now, a sense of numbness taking over her limbs.
In all reality, she could see that she may have been acting a tad dramatic. This really didn't have to be as big of a deal as she was making it out to be, her world wasn't ending and she would probably definitely come back from this. Tom was right, Ginny and her friends wouldn't be mad at her forever but at the moment, she couldn't see past this moment. She couldn't get over the fact that she was very much alone with no one but Tom Riddle to comfort her.
"You're acting like your life is over. It's not that bad Hermione." Tom looked down at her as they made their way down the hallway.
She said nothing in reply, doing her best to not look at him. She really had no interest in seeing his face at the moment.
"Wha-" She tripped over her feet as Tom pushed her suddenly into an open door, sending her stumbling over a table. The room he'd shoved her into was dark and she looked around wildly in confusion trying to determine where he'd just shoved her.
"Okay, here's the deal." He came in quickly closing the door behind him.
"Did someone see-"
"No. Stop talking, I'm talking. It's my time." She opened her mouth to respond but decided to let him speak and pursed her lips shut tightly. "We just announced our new relationship and you look like you're going to kill yourse- look at me Hermione. "
She had been staring off around the room trying to adjust her eyes to the light but she could only make out shapes. Tom's figure was obviously in front of her and she could see the gleam from his eyes and she forced herself to look up at him.
She jumped when his figure moved forward abruptly, his fingers coming around into her hair and grasping her face. His lips were cool and hot all at once, his tenderness surprising her. She found herself so used to his aggressive and seductive nature with her that this surprised her, his touch different and light. His fingers stroking her face so softly she might've melted if her body let her. His fingers trailed so slowly down her spine so that her body moved against his on her own will. His lips moved in gentle strokes against hers, tasting her with soft slow passion that relaxed her entire being.
He didn't let go, his fingers pressing into the small of her back to hold her firmly against him then sliding his hand softly up to her arms moving them so that they were moved up to hold Tom. His strength was apparent as he picked her up as though her body weighed nothing to him, placing her on a hard surface to hold her more firmly against him. She lost track of the time it could've been seconds or minutes but she wouldn't have known.
When he pulled away she opened her eyes slowly and found him barely an inch away, his fingers still holding her face softly and his breath hot on her lips and she moved forward again, her lips burning to feel more. He didn't stop her, welcoming her again. His breathing only slightly heavier and his touch barely heavier. Tom seemed to be determined to be as soft and passionate as possible. She couldn't have appreciated it more, her body breathing in his touch so heavily that every pump of blood through her veins made her head feel even heavier. The kiss, still soft and slow in nature grew longer and their fingers held each other tighter.
His hands held her tightly, pulling her into his body as close and tightly as she would allow. It was almost like he was trying to envelope her inside of him, push her body into his. She inhaled it, savoring the taste of his lips, the drunk feeling slowly filling her body with every breath she took. She needed more and when she wrapped her legs around Tom's body, her mouth pressing harder onto his, she felt almost devastated when he pulled away leaving her gasping.
"What?" She asked trying to see the expression on his face. "What happened?"
His breathing was equally heavy as hers and she felt slightly confused, her blood still rushing softly in her ears.
"I was making a point." He was still pushed up against her body and she was trying not to pay attention to his body pressed into hers, but it was hard. Her head was spinning. "I was making a very valid point to you. One that I think shouldn't have to be explained."
She took another breath and looked up at him, though his face was very hard to see in the light that was coming through the closed shades. She didn't make any sounds or movements just stared up at him. She didn't need Tom to explain the point he was making and she didn't need to say anything to let Tom knew that she understood. She could be angry but it would be pointless, it would be like swallowing poison and expecting him to die.
"You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be." His tone of voice wasn't quite flat anymore but filled with some thick feeling she couldn't quite describe.
He turned away and walked towards the door, moving slowly as if he were expecting her to say something but she couldn't think of anything to say. Tom opened the door and peeked out before walking out the door, leaving her behind in the dark. She sat still trying to sort through everything that was working through her head.
His point was clear and almost seemed like a slap in the face to her. She didn't have to let him kiss her, she could have very easily pushed him away and walked out of this room or closet or whatever the hell it was and she did not. She didn't have to agree to anything that had happened to her, she could have walked away from it all in all reality. She'd could try and say that she was here because he forced her, but here she was. Here in this closet of her own free will. There she sat, kissing Tom Riddle of her own free will.
The way he sat and kissed her, it wasn't the same. He'd done it on purpose, he wanted it to be different to prove it to her. He wanted to show her that if she was going to act like this was the end of the world, she needed to know it was a two way street.
And it was a hard two way street.
She let the closet probably an hour later, she knew she'd missed class and she didn't exactly care. She did feel slightly ashamed of the fact that she had missed so much class lately because of a boy, but that was it. She knew she could make up the work and it would be simple to lie and say she was sick or was experiencing girl problems. What was hard was going to be facing her friends in the next class, where she was sure her usual lab partner, Ron, would be sitting rather far away from her.
She walked through the crowd of students, ignoring the dejavu that came with the students staring at her and whispering as she made her way towards her locker. She did receive a slightly surprise when she neared her locker to see a bright head of flaming hair standing next to it, though it wasn't a female. She felt a slight drop in her stomach but continued anyways, this was going to happen sooner or later. He looked up at her when she walked up, his hand unconsciously reaching towards the back of his head to tug at his hair.
"Hey." She said softly, unsure of how else to handle the situation besides softly.
He looked around and seemed to notice that people were walking by slowly and he scratched the back of his head harder.
"Can we talk?" His voice seemed muffled and his tone as though he were trying to compress all of his feelings. "I need to talk, we need to talk. I want to talk to you. We have too."
She felt a pang in her stomach at the sound of his voice and felt a sense of desperate need to run away and do her best to get away from this conversation but she knew that running would only make this day considerably worse.
"I know, of course. Did you want too…?" She trailed off wanting him to finish the sentence for her, hoping he would say sure, we can talk two weeks from now.
"Tonight, I want to talk tonight. If your boyfriend," The word sounded poisonous in his mouth and his face pulled a sour look. "Doesn't mind."
"Ron, he's not…he won't mind." She turned into her locker to grab her books, she had to get away.
"I'll see you after dinner then."
It was no surprise to her when she walked into her next class that Ron was sitting at a lab desk with Harry when she walked into the class. She felt a small, and when she said small she meant minute, sense of relief when she saw that Tom had taken his place. At least she wouldn't be sitting alone like some vagabond.
"That was a pretty short conversation, how'd it go?" Tom didn't look at her when he spoke and for some reason that made her feel ever worse.
"He wants to talk tonight. There was too many people around watching. It's like we're famous and this damn school is all paparazzi. It's ridiculous, the people in this school are ridiculous. It's ridiculous how much everyone loves you." She rolled her eyes as she got out all her supplies.
"What can I say, I'm a great guy. Loving, charming, you've got a good catch." He looked over sending her a small wink.
"I'd prefer to throw you back to the ocean."
The rest of the day seemed to follow in perfect suit with absolutely no one talking to her, everyone staring at her and Tom being cordially polite at every step of the way. Unusually polite since the incident this morning leading her to believe she may have upset him this morning. He hadn't made any rather obnoxious jokes, no winking or inappropriate timed smiling as he usually did. He wasn't ignoring her, which she felt might have actually been better than the way he was acting. She seemed to be incredibly talented at pissing everyone off in one setting.
By the time dinner reached she was so tired she probably could have fallen straight into her food and fallen asleep inhaling mashed potatoes.
"You have something on your face…what is that…is that…are you wearing makeup?" Tom reached over and smeared at the under eye of her face pulling away his finger to look at the makeup that he'd wiped away. "Since when do you wear makeup?"
"Since my under eyes looked like I've become one of the walking dead, that's when." She grabbed a napkin rubbing at the thick under eye concealer. "Not that it did much good."
"I don't like it." He stated matter-of-factly. "Hides your freckles, I like your freckles."
"Oh." She didn't know how exactly to say thank you. "I have to meet with Ron soon, I'm not looking forward to it."
"What's the worst that could happen? He might push you out the window but at least that's the end of all your problems." He shrugged but his face flinched when Hermione's foot found contact with his shin under the table.
"I'm not hungry, I'm just going to go. If I'm not back in the next hour or so, check the grounds for my mangled body though." She stood up.
Tom nodded at her but didn't say anything and she made her way to the hallway standing outside the door to sit on the bench watching all the students who walked out. She hadn't asked Ron where they were to meet and he didn't tell her but she'd seen him in dinner so she decided sitting and waiting would be the best approach. She let her mind wander as she watched, students filing out of the dining hall barley paying her any attention and she appreciated it. She could handle being ignored, handle the students pretending she was a nobody. It was relieving not having any whispers or stares at the moment and it was more than enjoyable.
More enjoyable than being with a boyfriend who she'd somehow offended, better than the three friends who had become so angry with her that they were refusing to be friends with her at the time being. Even more enjoyable than her parents complete lack of communication with her since the incident of her getting in trouble. There was no way her life could get any better than it was at the moment, eventually her parents would figure out she was dating a high profile figure's son, the son who'd she had been caught snogging in her first month here, and they would probably blow up. She could hear their conversation already:
"What happened to our little girl? Since when did you care about boys?"
"He's affecting your grades, how could you let a boy do this to you?"
Or at least something along those lines and the constant replay of these conversations seemed to be running through her mind all day. Not to mention the feeling of unbearable dread when she'd received some of her graded papers back to see that her grades were beginning to near that of ninety-four's and at one horrific point, a paper from Professor Snape that was graded as a low ninety-two. That was too close to a B for her comfort. A part of her was wondering whether she ought to just start enjoying Tom Riddle's company for the mere sake of her sanity, maybe it was time to just buck up and accept what was happening and go along with it.
The other part was that she wasn't very good at giving up and giving in and everything in her was just telling her to keep fighting to prove her side of the argument, no matter what the classroom storage room incident had shown her this morning. Just because she thoroughly enjoyed making out with someone and touching them every second she got didn't mean she actually liked them. Who cared that her breath skipped a minute or so whenever he came up to her or that she seemed to lose track of everything but him when he touched her, you could be heavily attracted to someone without liking them. She had a massive crush on Prince Harry but that didn't mean she loved him.
It was a very different thing to be attracted to someone, especially when that someone looked like he'd literally tripped and fallen off his cloud as a fallen angel, and actually like and love someone. She could meet Prince Harry and he could probably be the world's largest ass and that wouldn't make him any less attractive. It could be said that Tom Riddle was probably as popular as Prince Harry, his father being the Lord Chancellor, Tom Riddle Sr. Tom technically had no title from that, which would have been a relief if he didn't also have a nobility title as well that he constantly shoved in her face almost once a day. He father was the brother of the Duke of York, who had no son. Which apparently granted Tom the title once his father and his uncle had passed.
Hermione honestly didn't care of Tom's rank, title, or his father's privilege, it didn't make him any more loveable. She'd heard the other girls in her common's and library constantly chatting about it while he wasn't around though and it was very annoying, so very ridiculously annoying. Ron had even asked her once if that was why she liked hanging around him so much, she immediately took it back when she realized how much the question had offended her. Hermione had a lot of trouble coming up with a reason on why she hung out around Tom Riddle so much and always seemed to avoid the question when asked by changing the subject or something of the sort. There was going to be no avoiding it now, Ron was going to want to know everything and he was going to listen.
"Hermione," She snapped her head up to catch Ron looking at everything but her.
"Hey, I didn't know where you wanted to meet so I was just waiting…" She trailed off, he was still avoiding her gaze.
"We can just walk, we can go through the back halls and go up to give us some privacy." He nodded towards a hallway that was around the large grand staircase and she followed him.
He didn't say anything at first, just walked close to her but far enough away where their shoulders didn't touch while they moved. He didn't speak until they were about five minutes down the hall reaching the back stairs towards the second floor.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" His voice sounded extraordinarily hurt and it felt like a slap to the face.
"You guys were always talking about how much you hated him and I couldn-"
"You were always assuring me nothing was happening and then we kissed and you said it was just because you weren't ready and you made it seem like all I had to do was wait. You lied Hermione, I mean full on lie." His words were harsh and she thought she was going to be partially prepared for it, but she wasn't.
"You guys were on me about him from the start, I didn't even know how to bring it up. Hey, you know that guy that you told me was terrible and to stay away from on the first day of school, I'm dating him. Like that would work, you guys spent half your time around me trashing him and ignoring me completely when he was around."
"So how long has this been going on? Surely it's been going on since that kiss then? You just led me on and didn't care to tell me what was happening?"
"No, this is a new thing it hasn't been happening that long. I mean, we've been talking but-"
"So you guys were talking and you just let me kiss you and think that maybe I had a chance?"
"It wasn't like that! It wasn't like that Ron! We were just friends and then it just happened…I don't know how but it just happened. He's not all that bad. I shouldn't have lied about it…I'm sorry." She turned to look at him because he had stopped was looking at her in a weird way that she couldn't quite describe. "You're all right, I should have told you I was talking to him or anything. I should have said something, but I couldn't. You all hate him and me liking him made me think you hate me too, I'm sorry."
"You could have told me…it wouldn't have been like that and you know it. You were just thinking of yourself and what we might think of you. I wouldn't have cared- no stop." She had opened her mouth to interrupt but he held his hand up and she closed it rapidly. "Just because you were with someone we hated doesn't mean we hate you, doesn't mean I hate you. If you had just thought for a second you would have known that, I like you Hermione. I like you a lot and you know that and I know you like me too, maybe not like you like Tom."
"I didn't want you guys to found out like you did, I told Tom I wanted to be able to tell you but he just…did it." She turned away from him, his gaze made her feel like she'd killed someone he loved.
"So you were just going to keep lying about it until you felt like it was the right time to tell?" He asked incredulously.
"No…no! I just was trying to think of a way to tell you without any of this," She waved her hands around to emphasize the situation they were in. "I just wanted it to be different and I was just afraid…and I'm sorry."
"I mean, out of all the things to lie about though. You knew how we felt about him and you had to of known that you felt this way about him for a while and you didn't say anything all this time Hermione, that's the point. Then this morning after you literally rejected me you show up kissing Riddle in front of the entire damn school, how do you expect us to take it?"
"Not well." She was lost for words and she felt that at this moment anything else she said would just hurt her even more.
"That's all you have to say? Not well?"
"What do you want me to say Ron? I feel like shit! I didn't want to hurt you or Ginny or Harry or anyone! This entire fucking school hates me and I deserve it okay? I shouldn't have lied and I didn't want to lie but I was just lost at what else to do and I made the wrong decision okay?" Yelling wasn't going to help her at this point but she couldn't help it, she was at a breaking point. Today had just been too much and she felt like she was dying internally.
"Why are you yelling? I didn't come up here to argue with you, I just wanted to talk." She turned to look at him and glared.
"Look, I'm not trying to yell, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to argue, I'm sorry." She moved over to sit on the window ledge on the stairs to the fourth floor which they were walking up. "I just want everything to be okay. I didn't want to lie and I wish I hadn't…I'm sorry."
"I just need time, can you understand that? I need time Hermione. I can't just come up to the two of you and pretend that I like him and that this is all okay suddenly, do you understand?"
She didn't say anything just looked up at him from her window ledge with a look that probably resembled a dying unhappy animal.
"Yeah. I'm fine." She said
"I'll….I'll see you around then okay?" He had reached his hand up around to his head again and was looking at her but it was her turn to look around at everything but him.
They sat in silence for a moment before he finally sighed and walked off. When he walked around the corner and disappeared, it was her turn to sigh loudly. She looked around and cherished the fact that she was alone and planned to cherish it for as long as she could because going back to her dorm room would be mean facing Ginny again, and she'd faced enough Weasleys today. Hermione was at least thankful that the talk with Ron had been short and to the point. She was desperate for any type of break coming up, she needed to get away.
"Looks like it didn't go over very well." She scrunched her eyes shut as hard as they would go, praying for anything to make the voice disappear.
"Do you stalk me for fun or…?" She pushed her face hard into her hands.
"I stalk you because you're my girlfriend and it's my duty to know what you're doing at every second of every hour," He came up next to her and sat down beside her on the ledge. "Or I just wanted to be sure Weasley didn't do something he would regret."
"He wasn't going to beat me up, you're absurd." She rolled her eyes and leaned back against the window enjoying the cool feeling of the glass against her back.
"I wasn't talking about him beating you up, though a part of me thinks you might be into that sort of thing. If that's the case, you can tell me, I don't mind being a little rough every now and then."
"Can't you ever be serious? Just for a moment?"
"Not sure, never tried it." He leaned back with her and she could feel that he was looking at her. "It'll be alright. You heard him, he just wants time. You'll have your precious Ron back in a few days."
"I really hurt his feelings." She opened her eyes and turned to look at Tom and was struck momentarily by his handsome features in the moon light shining from the window.
His cheeks are particularly sharp and angled in this light and the light gleamed in his eyes making them dark and twinkling, giving them a soft deep look that made her want to stare into them for the rest of the night. His lips were so soft and full that she had to reel herself in from pushing herself into them even though she'd kissed him enough today to last a life time.
"I think I'm going to get you a photo album of my face, I know I'm good looking and all but you shouldn't stare so much, it's really impolite." He leaned in closer to her face and she took a deep breath closing her eyes.
"Is this what having a boyfriend is like?" She peeked at him out of the side of her eye.
"No. Not at all." He smiled. "This is what having me is like."