Mary and Matthew left for France the day of his mother's and Clarkson's honeymoon. This would be their second honeymoon, a few months early. They took the Downton train, then a cruise ship, then from there a cab to their hotel. The Ritz was lavish, elegant as depicted and yet she felt that the descriptions she had heard didn't do it justice. After their arrival, Matthew was understandably tired. Mr. Molesley came along with them, as his valet, and Baxter filled in for her ladies maid, both promising not to get in the way as much as possible. Molesley helped him dress and get him ready for bed as per usual. Then they were left alone.
She watched him sleep peacefully, but his face still carried this hardness to it. If he slept later into the day Mary would go out shopping with Baxter while Molesley stayed behind, keeping an eye out on Matthew in case he woke from a nightmare and she wasn't there. She highly doubted that he would. Upon her return Molesley stated that everything went well with no incident. She picked up a few frocks but mostly pant suits, that were highly fashionable to the modern working woman. She was starting to feel ridiculous and too old for flapper garb but Matthew preferred it. Only because it showed off her long silky legs. He was used to her more 'feminine' side. He joked when she showed them off to him.
"Alright. What ever you say, you old fashioned misogynist'." She teased back.
"It does suit you." At that she lowered her eyes at him, still in jest. "No pun intended. It shows how independent and empowered you are. A very modern wardrobe for a very modern woman."
"And does that make you feel intimidated?"
"Darling, I always have, since I first laid eyes on you. I thought I'd never be good enough, and then you gone and compared me to a sea monster as if to prove my point."
"Shh, that's enough talking." She had dressed down to her slip and was now laying on top of him, her chest against his. She uses her kiss to silence him. His eyes are dazed with confusion but not from the far off memories that haunted him but from being surprised. It's as if he didn't believe she just did that. The expression was starting to be replace with passion and animal instinct. She loves that puppy dog look. It's what really got her going, not just his handsomeness. It was absurd, how someone so handsome could be such a dork. It was a far cry from what she had first thought of him. She used to think, how could someone so handsome be so arrogant. She had been so wrong, oblivious of what had been in front of her all along. The story had an entirely unexpected outcome. One she planned on making up for, the rest of their lives. "It turns out that story has a very different ending."
"Oh. Does it?" He purrs with desire.
"A much better one. In fact, Andromeda, after struggling to find herself, comes to discover that the sea monster wasn't a monster at all. Perseus was." Their eyes met in that moment. Two souls connecting. A feeling washed over them that they were unable to resist. The next five minutes they made love. It was the most wonderful five minutes and most passionate and precious minutes she had ever felt in a long time, a very long time. She cried afterwards, laying spent, beside him.
He leaned over to brush her hair from her face. "Hey. Hey. You're alright. It's going to be alright." He continued to stroke her hair. "It's alright." He said again.
She just started to cry harder. Damn her emotions. She felt completely vulnerable. She had forgotten that he could make her feel that way and she sometimes hated it. But as Tom had described it, love was giving someone the power to hurt you, weather if they meant to or not, a leap of faith and you'd have to be willing to take it, and once you did, it was worth it.
While he still remained unfazed, or so it only seemed. He's going through the same thing too. He's being brave for me. She didn't want him to break down too.
She slipped between his arms and he placed them around her. She had missed this, missed him. She remained that way until she eventually fell asleep.
They mostly stayed in their room for the duration of their trip. But that didn't matter. Being in each other's arms was healing enough and other things. They weren't due back till the beginning of April. Three weeks all to themselves, just the two of them. The longest they had been together since before the children. It was a strange but welcoming quietness. She thought of all the bustle that would resume once they returned home. Matthew told her to try not to think about it. This was their time. "Let's enjoy it. I tend to enjoy ever last inch of you." He did as such after he said it, kissing every inch of her.
"Do you think you could go to those places ever again. Where you fought?" She had gotten the notation that if they went there, she could get a sense of understanding, that if he saw it again, he would be able to further move on. Lay some of those demons to rest. Maybe his mother had been right in thinking it would help.
He raised his head. "Maybe someday I can show them to you." A deep pain still remained, etched under his confidence and reassuring tone. He withdrew his arms from her leaned back against the pillows.
She's ruined the mood. She thought. There was still a part of him that was secret. Would it remain so for another ten, fifteen, until the children were grown? Or perhaps she'd never know. Never know that other side of him. He was going to great lengths to keep it hidden from her.
"I would never intentionally hurt you, Mary. You are the love of my life."
"As you are mine." How could he think that going there would hurt her? If that was what he meant. There was always this sadness she felt in the air sometimes. Without the children near, she felt it even more.
"I am happy." He said, like he had read her mind. "With what we do have. With you and the children, I have never felt so fulfilled. And I can't wait to go back to them, yelling and running to us, giving us the third degree upon or return. But it's just us for now." He gave her a kiss. "Let's pretend it's just you and me, and nothing else. Like before." Before the war, as if it never happened and they had been married all that time. Before all of the pain it had brought, their losses. This was their time to reconnect, to heal, to forget about everything else. It was just the two of them and nothing else existed. No war. No children. He did miss them. Just us.
"Who knows when we'll get this chance again." She said.
"Exactly!" He could live a normal and happy life. Was that so wrong?
They did not speak of the past or present for the remainder of the trip. They were husband and wife, their souls intertwined both spiritually and physically.
The last few days they did make it out of their room. They didn't do much of sight seeing or dancing but they did go to the best top restaurants and cafes. They went to see the Eiffel Tower on the last night. They wouldn't be able to climb it of course. He wanted her to enjoy herself as usual, just like he'd say when they went out dancing and he got too tired to continue. But she insisted, "I'd rather enjoy the view from here."
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yes."
They both weren't talking about the tower itself how it lit up against the night sky. They had both said the same words on the night he had proposed to her, the second time, on the balcony of his hotel.
"I can't think of any tower with such incredibly interesting architecture, proportions, elegance and history."
She had to bite back the urge to laugh at his dorkiness. "Only you would say something like that."
"I am pretty sure there is a reason why it is the symbol of Paris, and France, to some extent, aside from being the most visited paying monument in the world." He continued to ramble on. "Going to Paris and not seeing it, to me is more absurd than going to Rome and missing the Vatican and the Colosseum combined. Way more impressive than the Brooklyn Bridge or the Grand Canyon."
"Which you've never been, to any of those places." She said sarcastically. Then, really considering, "We could someday."
"No. I think my traveling days are over. I had enough excitement to last me a life time. Besides I prefer other forms of excitement."
And that was what they did that evening.
He wants to feel like a younger man. He wants to feel sexually attractive. He wants to be sexually wanted. He wants to feel intimate with the woman he fell in love with all those years ago. But then also thinks of their common interests that had brought them together, common interests that they still have. "From here on out, I want things to be different."
She lifted her head to get a better look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Not just centering our lives just around the children or the children being our only common interests." A routine he had gotten used to, only having time for each other at night.
You have to go out and do things together that are different from what you did when you first met. Why? Because you've gotten stuck in a routine, and you're sitting next to your best friend, and you have to find things that are outside of that routine.
We feel good temporarily, but then like a creature of habit, we go back to what feels comfortable. Date nights are bandages. Great steps to success are just that, steps without action. Want real change... Want to rekindle romance? It requires growth... Growth of self... Growth as a couple. What do I mean? Recall how exciting things were in the beginning? It's because you didn't know each other. You were new and fresh... Like a new car... Now that time has gone by, you both have a few dents... Coffee spills on the carpet. Change rekindles romance... How so, watch older couples? They're always trying new things... Going new places... Eating new foods... Attending unique and interesting events. They're living life together but as they grow. They had both grown, were still growing. "We are different people from where we started, from who we began as. Everything we've faced, it made us different. But that doesn't mean we have to be indifferent."
"I still don't get what you're saying. I could finish a book before you get to the actual point."
"Ha, ha."
"or maybe even write one."
"Now you're just playing me. What I mean is, since then our experiences have made us who we are. Because of that, we're unbreakable. We survived. How many couples get to say that, that they found their one true love and got to hold onto it? We've come farther than most. We've changed and we've grown. We're still growing. And I still want to."
"Still want to what?"
"Grow with you. Grow old with you. Because I know I will. I used to think that I never would. I can't picture myself staying young for ever." Dying young, he had meant. He never had thought of old age, since before now.
Her eyes were watering with joy. Up until then she didn't believe that he believed that he would live to old age. Hearing him say those words, that he actually meant them, made her happy and fortunate to look forward to those days.
"What about me?"
"You will still be. At least to me."
"Right answer." She playfully gave him a kiss, placing his arms around him.
"But I do mean it. We should take more time for us. Try new things."
"I like the sound of that." She said against his neck. The warmth of her breath, stirring the fire that would never go out.
AN: Very, very short. But I wanted to make it that way since the last few were very long. For now, this is how I leave you. Any interesting ideas to take this story. If you are interested would you like to see what were Molesley and Baxter were really up to on 'their Paris Holiday?"
Downton will once again fall on hard times before the second world war, and the fate of the Earl of Grantham hangs in the balance during a health scare, and with Matthew's injury flares up after the anniversary of Beth's death, Mary and Tom come up with a plan that they must take charge if both Robert and Matthew are incapacitated at the same time due to their health, Mary fears, (but wears a brave face) that could become a common occurrence in the future. A charity tour of the great house is thrown to support the successful merger of the hospital. Violet is kicked out as president of the hospital and tensions rise between Rachel and Violet as she takes her place. The showing of the great house is almost a disaster with how little the family know of their own family history until someone unexpected comes to the rescue. And just as Molesley and Baxter start to have their own happiness, an almost two decade old secret comes back to haunt her.