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Chapter 4 – Pretenders

HOW DARE THEY. Blair could barely contain her rage at Chuck and Serena. How could they? How could he? She had trusted him and she had betrayed her secret without a second thought. How dare they. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She just wanted to go home. Home. Where was home? It used to be the penthouse she now lived in with Louis, the one she had grown up in, with her mother and father…and then just her mother, and later on with Serena, before she had asked her to leave. That place now felt like a prison. Louis would be waiting for her, she knew. He wasn't happy that she had agreed to go out with Serena, but she had begged to let her go, and he relented, eventually. Louis, waiting for her, she couldn't do it again. Not tonight.

"Where to, Miss?"

Where was home? She didn't even think, the words simply slipped out of her mouth to her cab driver, "Empire Hotel." She knew it was the wrong answer, but she was on autopilot. Even with how furious she was at Chuck, the Empire seemed more like a home that the place she grew up in.

She paid the cab driver and stood in front of the Empire in the cold night air. She realized then that she had left her coat at Butter after she had stormed away from Serena and she shivered as the cold chilled her to the bone. She needed a drink, and then maybe she'd be able to go to her real home. Home to Louis.

After two drinks, she found herself not in a cab on her way home to Louis, but instead inside in the elevator of the Empire, heading towards the penthouse. She was tipsy, but not drunk, yet she had no recollection of getting in the elevator and pressing the button to take her to his floor. Well, I might as well yell at him while I'm her, she reasoned. Arriving at the penthouse suite, she used the key card he had given her so long ago and inserted it in the slot. The light flashed green and the elevator opened onto the very familiar entryway. The entryway was dark, and the penthouse was silent. "Chuck?" she called softly. She didn't hear a response and she crumbled, suddenly realizing that she had really hoped he would be here.

Walking further into the penthouse, she took it all in. Maybe this would be the last time she would be here. She wanted to remember it all. Blair walked into the living room and there she found Chuck, alone and in the dark, glass of scotch in his hands and his eyes black, staring at nothing. She knew the look well, she had seen it only once before – the day Bart died. It was the look of a man being consumed by his own mind. "Chuck?"

Chuck's eyes snapped into focus and onto her. "Blair," he whispered. He rose to meet her but he stumbled, clearly intoxicated.

Blair went to him and placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to sit back down. "You're drunk, Chuck."

"I am," he replied.

"Why?"

His eyes locked with hers and what she could see his reflected in them. "You know exactly why, Blair. Why are you making yourself sick?" he responded.

"How did you know that?" she replied, not even bothering to lie. Chuck had known she was sick in high school, months before Serena had.

"Serena. Why are you doing it?" he asked

"I don't know."

"Not good enough, Blair. Why?" Chuck replied.

"It's the only thing I can control right now, Chuck. I need to be in control of something, you know that," Blair's face fell as she replied. She was completely ashamed of herself.

Even drunk, he saw the change in her. "Hey," he said softly, placing his hand on the side of her face. "Stop. You don't have to be ashamed, not in front of me. Not ever. When have I ever judged you for it?"

"Never," she replied, leaning into his hand slightly.

"And I'm not now. I just want you to be ok," he said, his voice breaking. "Why are you here, Blair?"

"Why did you tell Serena?" she countered.

"Will you answer my question if I answer yours?" he asked, treading lightly.

"Yes."

Chuck took a deep breath, steeling himself for her reaction to his explanation. He knew that Blair was no doubt feeling betrayed by him. "I told Serena because I'm absolutely terrified. You begged me not to contact you so, and I know my presence would be problematic. I want to protect you, but I know I'd only make it worse. I did the only thing I could think of. I told Serena. I'm not sorry."

"Anyone else?" she asked quietly.

"Just Serena," Chuck responded. "Now why are you here?"

Blair sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed the scotch glass from him before downing what was left. "After meeting up with Serena, I just wanted to go home. Then I realized, I don't know where home is anymore. Before I knew it I just told the cab driver to come here."

"You took a cab?" he asked in disbelief.

"I didn't want Louis to know where I was. Even though he'll figure it out eventually. Can I have another drink?" she asked.

Chuck poured her two fingers of scotch from the bottle on the coffee table and offered it to her. "Cheers, Waldorf," he said darkly. He waited a moment, after she had taken swig of the scotch. "He's still not allowed on the premises," he said quietly.

"Why? I thought you guys were best friends," she replied sarcastically.

He allowed a light laugh at that. "I'm just telling you that you're safe here. And don't be mad at Serena. Her asking you to dinner was my idea. I asked her to do it."

"I can't stay here forever, Chuck. And I'm not mad at Serena…It's just…"

"You don't want to face reality," he finished.

Blair's head turned so fast she felt her neck crack. "Excuse me?" she asked sharply.

"You don't want to face reality. I know you, Waldorf. I know exactly what thoughts are going on in your head right now. The biggest threat to the movie of your life is Serena and me knowing that it's not actually a fairy tale - not even close. There's no happy ending with Louis, and we both know it. And you're trying to convince yourself that happiness is on the horizon. That once you marry him everything will be perfect." Chuck knew it was harsh. But it was the truth. "This won't stop just because you marry him, you know," he continued, softer.

She took another swallow of scotch. "So, what? I'm supposed to dump my fiancée because he got a little rough with me once?"

"Lie to me all you want, Blair. It happens all the time," he replied softly. "Stop pretending it's fine. It's me. The worst thing you've ever done…The darkest thought you've ever had…" He grabbed her hand, hoping she wouldn't pull away.

She didn't pull away, instead she intertwined her fingers with his. "What am I supposed to do, Chuck?"

"Leave him. And I'm not saying this because I'm jealous, or because I want you, even if both of those things are true. I'm saying it because this is not ok, and you deserve better, Blair." He squeezed her hand.

"I'm afraid," she whispered.

"It'll be ok, baby," he responded. "I'm here, Serena's here. Nate will be, too. I promise."

"Can I tell you something?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Anything," he replied immediately.

"Every time you call me 'baby' I instantly feel safe," she wasn't sure where the words came, maybe the alcohol or from the fact that Chuck already knew her two biggest secrets, but she knew they were true.

Chuck kissed her forehead. "You are safe, baby, I promise."

"Louis is probably looking for me right now," she whispered.

"Don't pull this again, Blair. Don't run to me to feel safe, and once you do, go back to him," he responded darkly. "It's not fair to me or to you."

"I'm sorry about the other night," she replied. "I panicked. I was scared. I disappeared and I knew it would be bad. The later it got, I figured the worse it would be. He forgave me almost immediately." She grimaced.

"What was that face for?" he asked.

"He didn't hit me, so that was good," she replied.

"Blair."

"We had sex. I didn't want to," she finally answered him. She added quickly, knowing what Chuck had to be thinking, "He didn't rape me, if that's what you're thinking – I never said no." Chuck was squeezing her hands so hard they hurt. "Chuck, you're hurting me," she whimpered, pulling away from him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you…I just, don't know how to handle what you just said." His voice was dark and cold.

"Chuck, look at me," she whispered.

Chuck did as she asked and his eyes immediately met hers. "Do you still love me, Blair?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Then leave him. If not for you, then for me," he begged.

"I don't know if I can," she replied.

"Why?" he asked.

"I've tried, Chuck. He makes me doubt myself, doubt my reasoning, doubt my sanity."

"That's an abusive relationship, Blair. You are beautiful, and smart, and amazing. And yes, a bit insane, I'll be honest, but not in the way he makes you believe."

Maybe the scotch had gone to her head, or maybe it was his words. "Love me, Chuck," she said, leaning into him.

"I already do, I always have," he replied.

"Show me?" she asked.

"Blair…"

"Oh," her face fell. "Never mind, then. I should go then."

Blair moved to leave and he grabbed her arm, too hard. He felt her flinch, "I'm sorry. Please don't leave. Stay."

"Why don't you want me?" she asked, her voice breaking.

The dejection on her face made him feel sick. "I do want you, Blair. I want you more than anything I've ever wanted anything. But we're both drunk. You're engaged. I can't have you, not like this," he responded. He didn't even bother to mention how emotionally fragile she was right now, that he would feel like he was taking advantage of her. He knew that would mostly end with a slap to his face.

"Chuck Bass is a gentleman, who knew?" she smiled wryly.

"You made me into one," he replied, easily. "Took a while, but here I am."

She didn't know how to respond that. If she could change Chuck could she change Louis? Did she want to change Louis? She yawned, suddenly realizing just how exhausted she was, mentally, physically, and emotionally. "I don't want to go back there tonight, Chuck," she said when she noticed him observing on her. "Can I stay?"

"I don't want you to go back ever," he answered. "So yes, of course you can stay. I'll take the couch, you can have the bed."

That wasn't what she wanted. She wanted his arms around her, protecting her. "Chuck?"

"Yes?

"Would it be horrible of me to ask for you to sleep next to me?" she asked.

"Only if you promise not to leave before I wake up," he responded.

"I won't, I promise."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Come on, let's try to get some sleep."

Xoxo.

"Chuck?"

"Hey, Waldorf. Happy Thanksgiving. You alright? You sound strange," replied Chuck.

"I did something bad today and I need you not to judge me."

"Like I could ever judge you, Waldorf," Chuck scoffed into the phone.

"I'm serious, Chuck." Chuck could almost hear her crying on the other end of the phone.

"I'm here, Waldorf, talk to me."

"My mother told Daddy not to come Thanksgiving, and then lied to me about. And I – I just lost it. I just ate a whole pie…a whole fucking pie, Chuck," she sobbed.

Chuck's breath caught, he knew exactly what that meant. "Where's Serena?"

"We got into a fight. I'm sorry to bother you. I didn't know who else to call."

"No, don't. You aren't. I'm in Monaco, though, otherwise I'd already be on my way to you."

"Oh...I forgot." Blair knew Chuck was going to Monaco over Thanksgiving, how could she forget?

"Call Serena, Blair, ok? Whatever fight you had, she cares about you too much. Call me tonight, if you still need me I'll fly out in the morning, ok?"

"Ok, Bass," she smirked softly. "Can I call you later?"

"I'd like nothing more."

Chuck Bass was many things, but he was always someone she could run to when things got hard.

Blair shuddered awake from her dream, or rather, her memory. She opened her eyes to the darkness and she realized she wasn't in her own room. Coming out of her slumber, she found that there was a strong arm wrapped around her back, holding her close to his chest, and she felt his legs tangled with hers. Blair also noticed that one of her arms was wrapped around his waist – They had been clutching onto each other for dear life in their sleep. Chuck, she breathed a sigh of relief. It was pitch black, but the moonlight streaming through Chuck's bedroom window allowed her to see his face clearly. She had always loved to look at Chuck while he was sleeping, as it was the only time his face was relaxed. Blair had always joked that Chuck looked like a little boy when he was completely asleep, because he slept with a slight smile on his face. He also snored. Chuck had always staunchly denied both of Blair's claims, but she knew the real Chuck Bass: He smiled in his sleep and he snored. Blair smiled at the thought.

Tonight, she noticed, was different. Chuck's face was clenched, and his brow was furrowed, like he was thinking very hard about something. He didn't look peaceful at all, he looked tortured. Frowning, she ran a hand up to his cheek, wanting to smooth his face. At the touch of her hand, Blair felt Chuck's jaw unclench and loosen. Blair heard his breathing and she knew she had woken him up. Chuck was usually such a heavy sleeper, but tonight he seemed like he was on high alert, like he was waiting for something. He thought I was going to leave him, she realized.

"I'm sorry. Was I snoring?" he asked her softly, with just the slightest hint of slumber in his voice.

"No, your face…You looked so frustrated. I'd never seen you look like that when you sleep."

"Sleep has been hard for me to come by lately," he responded.

Blair softly stroked his cheek with her fingers. "Because of me?" He didn't respond, but she felt a slight nod under her fingers. At his response, she tilted her face towards his and planted a small, soft kiss on the side of his mouth. It was a small gesture, but it was the most intimate they had been in months and Chuck's eyes filled with an emotion she didn't quite recognize. Love, longing, appreciation. "You need to sleep, Chuck," she said gently.

He sighed and rolled over, pulling her with him, so he was laying on his back and she on his chest. Running a hand absently through her hair, he replied, "I know. But I can't get my mind to shut off."

"Can I help?" Blair asked softly.

Chuck's arm tightened around her waist and he pulled her closer. "You already are."

Xoxo.

They laid like together like this in silence for a while, as the room began to brighten around them. It was morning, the morning which neither one had wanted to come. "Do you know where my phone is, Chuck?" Blair asked, breaking their silence. She had kept her promise to Chuck, she had stayed until he was awake. But in the bleak light of day, she realized she had to deal with her life. With Louis.

Chuck let out a heavy breath before he leaned over the nightstand next to his bed. Opening the top drawer, he pulled out Blair's phone and turned in on for her.

"You stole it?" she asked, incredulous.

Chuck merely shrugged. "My suite, my rules." Softening, he added, "You sure you want to see what's on there?"

Blair looked up from her phone which was booting up and up at Chuck. "You read my texts, too?"

Chuck shook his head. "No, I turned it off before you got anything. I'm just hazarding a guess…"

She felt nauseous as she saw the texts, calls, and voicemails fill the screen of her phone. "You're right, I don't want to read them," she said shakily, her eyes welling with tears. She had messed up the first time when she had run to Chuck, but she was in real trouble now. She had told Louis she was meeting Serena for dinner, and instead had ended up spending the night in Chuck Bass' bad. "What am I going to do, Chuck?" She felt herself breaking. "I am in so much trouble."

Chuck saw Blair's breathing become shallow and he knew she was starting to panic. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him in what he knew was a useless attempt to comfort her. "What do you want to do, Blair?"

"I want this all to just stop," she cried into his chest.

He held her as her body was wracked by sobs and he could feel her tears dampening the cotton shirt he had worn to bed. "Shh…it's ok," he said, pressing a kiss into her hair.

"It's not ok, Chuck!" she yelled, jerking her head up to meet his eyes. "I shouldn't have come here last night, I made another mistake, and Louis is going to be so angry! I got lucky last time but I'm not going to be so lucky this time."

"So you're going to go back to him?" Chuck asked, feeling his heart break once more as he watched the girl he loved cry in front of him.

Blair sobered at his response. "Yes, Chuck. I never had any other intentions. You said it yourself last night – I'm engaged."

Chuck nodded slowly. "If that's what you want to do, Blair," he responded, feeling completely defeated.

"It is. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on last night, Chuck. I really appreciate but I should be going," she said, standing from the bed and trying to gather her things.

"You're doing it again, Blair. You're avoiding reality. I was not a 'shoulder to cry on' last night – that's bullshit and you know it. You came to me because you're afraid to live in your own house. You're afraid of the man you live with. So don't act like it was less than that."

He has a point, you know, the flashed through her mind but Blair shook it off. "I told you it only happened once. I am fine." Blair met his eyes and they were full of pain and sadness. Her heart lurched.

"Fine, Blair," he replied, conceding. "You're fine. Go home."

"With pleasure."

Xoxo.

The elevator door to Blair's penthouse slid open, and Blair prepared herself for what was inevitably waiting for her. She was shaking and she could feel beads of sweat beading at the nape of her neck. She exhaled the breath she was holding in and stepped inside. Louis wasn't waiting for, which frightened her even more. Taking a few more steps inside, she saw the mess.

The vase of flowers that always stood at the entryway was laying broken on the floor, flowers strewn everywhere in a generous puddle of water. There was a hole in the wall, clearly made by a fist. Moving into the parlor, pillows were ripped and thrown carelessly across the floor, and the coffee table laid on its side, books and magazines casualties to its displacement. Blair closed her eyes, she didn't want to see any more of the destruction. Clearly someone was very, very angry. Louis was very, very angry. She felt a sudden pain in her chest, and something inside of her screamed, Run. Run now. As with all of the other negative voices that were giving their unsolicited opinions these days, she ignored it.

"Ah," came a bright voice behind her. "There is my whore of a fiancée. Where have you been all night?" Louis laughed. "And don't bother lying to me, I know you were with Chuck."

Blair turned around to face her fiancée, "Louis, I –" Before she could speak any further, Louis slapped her across the face so hard she lost her balance and fell to the ground. Louis walked to where she had fallen and loomed over her, threatening, terrifying. Blair closed her eyes and waited for her punishment, one thought in her head on repeat: I told you to run.

Xoxo.

It was still morning, but Chuck was once again standing in front of the window of his suite, glass of scotch in hand. The memories of this morning were replaying in his head. He shouldn't have given up so easily, he shouldn't have let her leave. He knew what she would be met with would be terrible.

Chuck had lied to Blair this morning, in fact, he had seen every one of Louis' text messages, each more threatening than the last. He had hidden her phone after he had seen the first message come through, while she was in the bathroom washing her face. Where are you, bitch? Come home. Now. Chuck's stomach curdled the same way it had when he had first read the message. Bitch. How dare he? His glass slammed down on the windowsill and shattered all over the floor. Fuck. You have to pull yourself together, Bass.

As Chuck mentally chastised himself, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, ever hopeful that it was Blair, but smirked when he saw Andrew Tyler on his caller ID. He had all but forgotten about the call he had made to Tyler last night. "Tyler, what have you got for me?"

"First time he's left the Waldorf penthouse since yesterday. He's at 169 right now. And Mr. Bass, you might want to quadruple my fee after what I'm about to tell you," Tyler responded with a slight chuckle.

"The Lower East Side? Don't fuck with me, Tyler."

"I am not fucking with you, Bass. He's with a woman, and it's not Blair Waldorf."

He felt the color drain from his face. Not only was Louis hurting Blair, he was cheating on her. I want to fucking tear you apart. Originally, Chuck's reasoning behind calling Andrew Tyler was so he could know when it was safe for him to contact Blair. But catching Louis cheating was just too good to pass up on. "Get pictures and consider your pay quadrupled. I'm heading there now but I want pictures for posterity just in case I don't catch them in time.

Tyler chuckled into the phone, "Pictures are already in your email, Bass. As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you."

Xoxo.

20 minutes later, Chuck Bass was in the Lower East Side, standing in what could only be described of as a dive bar. He shuddered at the thought. Andrew Tyler had to be fucking with him. Gathering himself, he pushed the door open to the bar. It was late afternoon, so the bar wasn't too full, and Louis and his friend were easy enough to spot. Having located the pair, he slipped into a booth in darkened corner, ordered a scotch from the waitress, and proceeded to watch the pair.

Sipping the scotch the waitress brought, he almost gagged. Clearly not fucking single malt. Pushing the offending drink away, he turned back to the task at hand. He didn't have to wait too long. Louis hand was resting on the girl's thigh, rubbing it up and down. As Chuck watched, Louis' face inched closer and closer to girl's, until their lips met. Using his phone, Chuck took a picture. Satisfied with his own evidence, Chuck moved from his hidden booth to take a seat next to Louis. "Louis, what a surprise and a pleasure to see you here," Chuck drawled, holding out his hand for other man to shake.

Louis turned to Chuck, and his turned cruel. "Charles, a surprise indeed," he replied, shaking Chuck's offered hand.

"Was wondering if I could speak to you privately, Louis? I don't want to interrupt your date," Chuck seethed, "but it really is imperative that we speak."

The girl looked at Louis, then to Chuck. "I should freshen up, anyways," she said weakly, getting up from her seat quickly and scurrying away.

"Chuck, what are you doing here?' Louis asked darkly.

"I should ask you the same question, Louis," replied Chuck, motioning to the girl's empty seat.

"Just an acquaintance," Louis stated.

"Right, and I'm the King of England," said Chuck, lazily rolling his eyes. "I don't care about your concubine, Louis, I'm here to attend to much more pressing matters anyway."

Louis looked confused. "What other matters?"

"Blair," Chuck responded roughly.

Louis smirked. "Ah, yes, Blair." Bleh.

"I know exactly what you've been doing to her, Louis. If you ever harm another hair on her head, I will destroy you. Do you understand?"

Louis blanched momentarily, before quickly replying, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Actually, Louis, I do. I know exactly how you hurt her. And I'm telling you, you hurt her ever again, and I will hurt you."

"Are you threatening me, Chuck? You know how powerful I am, don't you? I could hurt you more than you could ever hurt me," Louis scoffed.

"Not likely, Louis. And I don't care what happens to me, I care about what happens to her. So consider yourself warned, Louis." Chuck's eyes rose to meet Louis' and he pulled his face into a smirk.

"You realize who you're threatening, right? I'm Prince Louis Grimaldi of Monaco," stated Louis.

"Ah, yes," Chuck said with a small laugh. "But I'm Chuck Bass." With a smirk and a wink towards Louis, Chuck left the prince alone in the bar.

Reviews are appreciated. Drop me a line and let me know if you love it, or hate it. Got some pretty big things coming up in this story (;