This is It for Me Here

Chapter Six

I Own Nothing

Days slowly turned into weeks,then it had turned into a total of two months, almost three if I'm counting right. Hiccup was getting used to the fact that he had a mother now, it seemed a bit strange at first, but he got used to it. He never really had a mothers love or attention before, it was something all too new for him. It felt nice though, Hiccup felt something different inside of him, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. Something Stoick hand't given him in years, let alone shown to his only son.

Love and attention, those were the things the young boy hand't felt in a long time. It was unhealthy and poisoning to him at such a young age, Hiccup was at a certain age where he needed emotion support, he just needed someone to listen to him. But he didn't get it, people would just look away and scowl at him for being the such an outcast, for being the boy who couldn't kill a dragon. That was how they were going to remember him, just a useless human being.

At one point he was just going to end it all, he was going to kill himself, but was stopped.

Hiccup tried to hang himself, in the privacy of his own room, or so he thought. Gobber managed to save him just in time, it all felt so surreal for the young boy, he just couldn't take it anymore. Hiccup pretty much had to beg Gobber not to tell anyone, mostly his father. Thank the gods he was gone on the search for the nest at the time, Gobber felt awful for keeping Hiccup's suicide attempt a secret from his father, but he kept his promise in secret so the lad wouldn't get yelled at, or disowned. But Hiccup had to promise him he would never do something that awful again, other wise Stoick would get the whole thing out in the open, telling him everything.

That had to be one Hiccup's worst nightmares, feeling humiliated and being disowned by his own father. He hope it would never happen, that's one of the reason why he took off in the first place. That was one secret that Hiccup was going to die with him.

It's funny how this happened the two days before he met Toothless, his father returned the day before. They didn't speak, they didn't look at each other. Maybe Gobber did tell him, that's why he was so distant from him that day. If it weren't for Toothless, Hiccup would have made a second attempt. This time planning it out more smoothly and making sure no one would be around.

But that was over and behind him, he was no long the village runt. He was just a young boy, lost in his own emotions, but he had some guidance now. His mother was his new teacher, she was the one to guide him through this new life. Sure Hiccup didn't plan to find out his own mother was alive, but he guessed it was better then living alone.

Valka would kiss and coddle him, tend to his wounds, and even offer to feed him when he was too weak. She was pretty much doing her motherly duties, something he never had as a young child, sure his dad used to take care of him, but that was way back. Toothless had come to love his riders mother, almost like a dragon son to her. But the one thing Hiccup thought was amazing was how she would handle things, she wouldn't yell or scowled, but handled things with a gently voice, she was just so laid back and relaxed. Just like her son.

Hiccup's slowly opened as he was wrapped up in Toothless's wings, feeling his warm wings and paws holding him in place. He awoke with some excitement, today was the day his cast was coming off. He couldn't wait to walk and run again, but he all he really wanted was to fly with Toothless.

Toothless was already awake, poking his head out as he opened his wings. He stretched his arms out, all the cuts and bruises had healed. All the bones in his leg had connected and healed in place, it felt forever since he was able to stand up, let alone walk.

Hiccup yawned out."Morning Toothless." he said rubbing his eyes, pulling himself away so he could sit up. I looked around to see my mother already up, sitting over towards the fire, cooking some fresh cod over fresh smell of the sea salt cooking on it made my mouth water.

"Mom?" I asked quietly as she turned to me with a warm smile.

"Morning dear." She walked over towards me, running her fingers through my hair and planting a kiss on my forehead. All this affection was so new to me, I didn't really now how to respond to any of it. Having her take care and coddle me was all so...weird, but over the weeks I started to get used to it. I started liking it a whole lot, but I kept holding back, I didn't want to be a weak mama's boy you ya know?

"You ready for this cast to come off?" She asked me as I shook my head quickly."Alright, let's get this off so we can get the day started yeah?" She knelt down to me and began to slowly unwrapped the bindings. I flinched as she removed the last piece of the bandage, looking at the skin where my bones were broken it was still bruised and scar up. I was little nervous to stand up, but I grabbed the edge of Toothless's saddle and hoist myself up.

I took in a deep breath, putting some light pressure on the healed up leg, I took a few steps feeling a bit of pain shoot up to my knee. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it kinda felt like a sprained ankle., just a little more pressure added to it.

"How dose it feel?" my mother asked me, taking my small hand into hers.

I winced again."It still hurts, but I can still walk on it." I faked a smile to show her I was willing to try. But she damn knew I was lying through my teeth, she gently sat me back down and told me to wait their. Well it was worth a try I guess?

She brought me a plate of cod over, I dug in as soon as she sat it down on my lap. That had to be the best thing I ever ate in days. My dad could never cook to save his life, that's why I always had to fend for myself. As soon as I finished my meal, I looked up at her sheepishly, mom was still eating hers. She gave me a softly laugh as I felt Toothless licking my face from behind.

A few minutes later she finished her filet of fish and got up. Valka reached her hand out for her son."Come."

Hiccup took his small hand into hers as he leaned up against her, heading towards outside with CloudJumper and Toothless right behind him. Once they reached outside, the young boy was speechless. Toothless and CloudJumper both took off into the sky, flying around freely.

All around were different types of dragons, all of them living and and flying around this safe haven made of ice. His eyes lingered all over, not knowing what to look at next, it was all so breath taking as the water fall rushed into the ground, wild flowers and plants grew over the ice. Dragons were covered in almost ever inch of this icy sanctuary, so this is where he has been staying all of this time. It was magnificent.

"Wow." he breathed out. Wondering if this was some kind of heaven to him.

"What do you think?" His mother chimed in.

"I new it I really am dead." He said in awe.

Valka laughed softly, ruffling her son's hair, shaking her head a bit at her's son dark humor.

Back on Berk...

Stoick just sat their on the floor as he looked the small chest he kept under his bed. The same chest he kept under his bed for almost fifteen years straight without even opening it. He didn't want to look at it, he didn't ant to relive any of the memories, it just hurt too much. The only thing he could do was cry, tears ran down his cheeks and beard, held something small and dear.

They were Hiccup's baby booties, the one's Valka made for him before he was born. They were so tiny and frail in his hand, just like Hiccup was when he was born. the little baby boots were a light blue with white laces on the front. He remembered how excited Val was when she found she was pregnant, the moment she brought him into the world was the happiest yet the most scariest moment of their lives.

Stoick almost lost them both that night. But little did he know he would lose them two months later on that dreadful night. When that monster took his wife away, just snatching her up like it was nothing. The sad thing was the fight they had before, Valka was trying to convince Stoick that dragons weren't the enemy, but of course he didn't listen to her, after she begged him to stop all the fighting and the war. He just brushed her off, telling her to stop and just give up, basically he was just calling her crazy.

He could still smell the smoke and fire, as Hiccup cried out for his mother, the stormcutter was right their, cornering Valka and their newborn son. Stoick threw his ax and screamed for Valka to run, but it was too late, she was already gone. The monster had already taken her away, carrying her away into the night. The last thing he heard was her screams, calling out his name over and over until it stopped, she was finally dead.

He thought he would get over it, but over the years it just kept getting worse. Hiccup was the constant reminder of Valka, just everything about him was a mere image of her. Hiccup couldn't fight, he couldn't kill dragons and to top it all off he was just a loner like Val used to be.

"Oh Hiccup." he held the little baby booties closer to his heart." I failed you and your mother." he whispered as his hands started shaking."I couldn't even protect you both, and now I have nothing left."

The chief placed the little shoes back in the chest, pulling another trinket out of it. This one hitting him right in the heart.

It was a hair pin Valka used to wear. It was made out of silver, the shape of a dragon with a green emerald embedded in the eyes. He gave it to her on their wedding day, she wore it almost everyday. Just the thought of that alone made his body tremble.

"Oh my poor wife." He cried harder now."My poor baby boy are gone, all because I was too selfish and to stupid to listen." Shaking his head as he placed the hair pin back in the chest, shoving it back under the bed. Feeling all the grief and depression on his shoulders. Their was another raid outside, he felt the sadness wash away as rage filled him mind and heart.

He walked out of his bed room, taking his ax and walked outside into the battle field. He looked out and started screaming at the beast, screaming and throwing his ax into the battle field. A zippleback came into his sight as he tackled it to the ground. He raised his ax, getting ready to strike one of the heads.

"See you in Hell devil."

Back to the Dragon Sanctuary...

Morning had turned into pure darkness, the stars were exposed and twinkled in the dark night. Almost the entire time we spent flying and just being ourselves, just acting like...like a family.

It felt nice, no nice doesn't describe it enough, no it was amazing. For once I had a connection with another human being, who turns out to be my mother, but hey I had to get my dramatic flare from someone from this family. I mean I'm nothing like my dad at all, I'm nothing like him I'm the complete opposite. I'm not selfless or brave like him, I don't put others before myself, I just do whatever I please at this point. Since mo one cares about me, why should I start caring for them?

My mother was right beside me, throwing her arms out and taking in a deep breath. I looked up at the stars, I wish I could fly up higher so I could touch them, to see if they were real diamonds. I doubt it though, it was just my young imagination going wild as always.

After our little flight we made it back home, the whole time we were silent, just looking at each other for a few moments, the next we would be doing something else. But something in her attitude changed, like all the joy and happiness just vanished.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, catching her off guard.

"Oh nothing dear, just thinking about something." She tried to shrug me off, but I wasn't buying it at all, something seemed really wrong.

"Thinking about what?" I arched a brow."Did I do something wrong?" I asked getting a bit worried.

She jump up."Oh no, you didn't anything wrong Hiccup." She placed her hand on his lap for comfort, looking into his eyes, the ones he inherited from his mother. Valka sat back down and turned her head away, rubbing her shoulder a bit. Hiccup shifted a little to know what was wrong. He then heard her sigh heavily. He waited for an response and soon enough he got one.

"What if I were to tell you about a madman named Drago Bludvist."

I cocked a brow." Drago what fist?" I shake my head a bit.

"Bludvist." She repeated to me, saying his name almost bitterly."Has your father ever mentioned him to you?"

"No." I whispered."Why? Who is he?"

Her eyes locked onto mine, fear was written all over her face."He almost killed your father." My eyes widen quickly."He's building a dragon army so he can rule and take over the world." She said almost calmly, knowing what was happening.

"H..How do you even know about this?" I asked my mother, moving closer to her, how was she even sure of all of this.

"Because over the last fifteen years I have been following him, taking out most of his war ships and freed some of the dragons he's traps." Her face started to harden while bringing all these things up."He's going to strike soon, he's going to attack on innocent villages."

"Then what are you going to do?"

She placed my hands on my shoulders."I must prepare you for war." She grabbed my hand."Come Hiccup, I need your help, and so do the dragons."

I didn't hesitate on helping her, I cared about dragons just as much as she did, she would always tell me people weren't always up for change, and I agree with her, I can't change and reason with people anymore, I tried and so did she and didn't work.

Never in a million years as a teenager, I never thought I would be going to war. I mean not yet at least, I mean maybe not for a few more years, but oh well.

Let the walk to Hell begin.