Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your support, it really does help. So, I'm in a bit of an emotional slump so this chapter is kind of depressing and really sucks, so I'm sorry about that but if I don't sit here and write, I'm just going to keep focusing on the thing that's bothering me and I'm going to end up feeling worse. So, here's the chapter, sorry about that.
There is freedom waiting for you,
on the breezes in the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?
-e.h
"So, the Strix isn't a person, but a group of people? Specifically a group of really old vampires from the beginning of time?" Caroline asks, leaning her head back a bit against Klaus's arm to look up at the side of his face. Klaus nods, pressing his lips against her forehead again. Caroline leans into his side a little bit, looking down at her hand, resting on Klaus's thigh with Klaus's fingers running along her palm and fingers. "So what would this ancient society of vampires want from my aunt?" She looks across the table at Elijah.
The brunette shakes his head, lacing his fingers together in front of his mouth, turning dark eyes out the window. He takes a few deep breaths, trying to organize his thoughts before turning dark eyes back toward his brother and the little wolf laying against him. "I'm not certain, but it couldn't hurt to hunt down old contacts to find out."
"Why would you help me?" Caroline asks. "I get Klaus, we are about one round trip to Adventure Land away from being soul mates for life." That earns her a low rumble of a laugh from the chest against her back and even Elijah offers a little smile at that. "But you don't have to help me in any capacity."
Elijah unlaces his hands but rubs the tips of his fingers together in thoughtful consideration. "No, perhaps not. But with the Strix involved, it can't be anything good. And I'm interested in what they want with a reclusive werewolf who has no vampire connections as far as I can tell..." he trails off slowly, eyes narrowing slightly.
Caroline sits up, raising her arms above her head, stretching out as far as her body will allow, bones along her arms, shoulders, and hips cracking nicely. The vertebrae along her spine pop too before hunching over a bit. "Okay, I think I'm ready to head out." Caroline twists around a bit to look at Klaus. "And I think it's about time that you live up to your end of the bargain you made with your brother. I don't know where you locked them up in but now is probably the best time to set them free."
Elijah raises an eyebrow and turns to look at Klaus. "I am in agreement with Caroline, Niklaus."
Klaus pouts, rolling his eyes a bit, letting out a long, drawn-out sigh before nodding. "Very well, if the two of you are going to team up on me like that. I'll show you to our siblings and you can wake one up, Elijah," he says flippantly, then a mischievous grin crosses over his lips, "and something tells me you aren't going to pick our dearest brother Kol."
Caroline raises her eyebrows toward her hairline, looking between the two brothers, not sure if she wants to know. Something tells her a thousand years of knowing someone is enough to destroy the rationality that exists between lives. But that is not something she has enough experience in to be able to have any say in that.
"Whatever you've got to do to keep your deal, I guess," Caroline says, standing up and stretching again, this time for her legs. "So, where are you going? Need to pack a bag?"
Klaus smiles at her.
"Okay, so this is really sick, Klaus. I'm not going to lie. And how did this get in the living room? It wasn't here when we left."
Klaus laughs, spraying his hands out at the coffin in front of them marked with an intricate 'R'. Caroline wraps her arms around herself. Klaus has some crazy tendencies, Caroline has seen that first hand, but this has got to be higher up on the weird scale than she's used to. Especially when thinking about this being one of their siblings.
"So, unless I'm not as smart as a fifth-grader, I'm assuming that isn't Kol." Caroline leans against the doorframe as Elijah walks into the room toward the coffin. "This must be..."
"Yes, our dearly beloved sister, Rebekah," Elijah says, opening the coffin slowly to reveal a desiccated vampire that looks like she fell out of the early nineteenth twenties with her styled hair, pearl necklace, and swinger dress. The only thing that was out of place, aside from the fact she is obviously heavily desiccated, is the sleek silver dagger sticking out her chest.
Elijah takes a moment to stare at the sleeping face of his little sister, before reaching out, wrapping his hand around the handle of the dagger and ripping it from Rebekah's chest. Klaus pours three drinks, taking a sip of one before passing one to Caroline and the other to Elijah with a tight-lipped smile that is far more amused than it looks like the situation called for. The look on Elijah's face makes it look like he also thought it was inappropriate too, but accepts the glass from him regardless.
"Klaus, I'm seventeen," Caroline says, looking down at the bourbon.
"You've never drunk before?" Klaus asks incredulously.
"Of course, I have. You were the one I had my first sip of wine with," Caroline says, rolling her eyes. "Bourbon is a little bit harder than any of the liquor I've had."
Klaus smiles over at her. "Believe me, Caroline, my dear sister's awakening calls for a bit of hard liquor." He walks over to Caroline and puts a finger against the bottom of the glass, pushing it up slightly with a raised eyebrow.
"I... heard that, you filthy wanker..."
"Rebekah!" Klaus says, expression brightening up as he turns away from Caroline toward the girl leaning up slowly from her coffin. Elijah offers her his hand, which she takes and helps pull her out of it. She stumbles for a moment, getting her footing under her as her desiccated skin returns to a healthier color, much to Caroline's surprise.
Then she notices the blood bag in Elijah's hand that she hadn't noticed before, and the smear of blood on the corner of Rebekah's lips. She looks around at all of them, her eyebrows pulling together when her eyes land on Caroline.
"Who the bloody hell are you?"
"Be nice, Rebekah," Elijah says. "Caroline here helped me convince Niklaus to uphold his end of our deal?"
Rebekah gives Elijah a sideways glance before turning her pretty blue eyes toward Caroline, disbelief washing over her face as she looked Caroline up and down. "Her? Who is she?"
"My name is Caroline," Caroline offers.
"And what sort of power do you have that allows you to lord over my wicked brother?" Rebekah asks, finally pulling away from Elijah to send a glare at Klaus before looking back over at Caroline. "You're going to have to tell me your secret."
Caroline shrugs her shoulders, offering the bourbon to Klaus, who takes it with raised eyebrows and drinks it down himself. "No power, no secret. Just good old fashioned guilt trip."
Rebekah rolls her eyes. "That would insinuate that my dastardly brother has a heart capable of feeling guilt." She crosses her arms over her chest. "And seeing as he can stab a dagger into his lovely little sister's heart repeatedly putting her down for decades at a time because he's a heartless, soulless, wicked man," she glares daggers at her brother, who sets the glasses down on the nearby table and folds his hands neatly in front of him with a wide, open expression, waiting for her to continue, "I highly doubt such a thing is possible."
"You think so little of me, baby sister," Klaus says, sounding like he's both pretending to be hurt and actually is a little hurt. Caroline isn't sure how he can reach that conclusion but it wasn't her place to say anything.
Rebekah glares at him before looking over at Elijah. "Okay, break it to me. How long has it been?" She balls her hands up in fists at her side.
"I'm sorry, Rebekah - " Elijah starts.
"How long, Elijah? Just tell me," Rebekah demands, her lower lip trembling in fear of the answer. "I... I don't recognize the way that you're dressed... Gods, Elijah, please don't torture me any longer. Just tell me."
Elijah lets out a sigh, nodding his head slowly. "It's been almost a hundred years."
Caroline steps out the front door, listening to the fading sounds of Rebekah screaming at Klaus. Her anger, her rage, it's not unfounded. In her opinion, Caroline thinks that Rebekah has every right to be pissed off at Klaus for what he did. Caroline can't for a minute imagine what being asleep for almost a hundred years must feel like.
It's early evening, thankfully still light out so she goes for a walk around the neighborhood to give the siblings some time to blow off steam and get acquainted once more. Caroline figured it wasn't her place when they started hashing out the last few times Klaus daggered Rebekah because of one thing or another and especially figured as much when she heard the sound of wooden object breaking and being thrown around the house.
That made Caroline walk faster. Hopefully, she can stay away long enough for them to find some semblance of peace before she comes back. She walks down the street, admiring all the rich mansions around her, not surprised by Klaus's need to always be extra and live in elegance. Caroline has never been one for extravagance, even with all the time she has spent with Klaus.
Caroline steps up onto the curb, walking along it as a car drives past, no doubt noting that she is out of place, but doesn't stop. She holds her hands out from her sides to keep balanced as she goes.
She looks down at her feet as another car drives past. She's so preoccupied, watching her feet that she only stops when she sees feet stopped in front of her, turned to face her. She looks up to see a dark-haired teen around her age standing in front of her. With the soft wind blowing at her back, at first she wasn't sure what he was staring at her for, but when the wind stilled, with her stand right in front of him, she smelled him and immediately knew what he was.
"Oh," Caroline says, her blue eyes widening in surprise. "Hi."
"What... what are you?" he asks, dark eyes wide.
Caroline tilts her head a bit. "I'm a werewolf. Just like you, it seems." She takes a moment to admire him. "I've not seen another male werewolf." Well, aside from Klaus and Rodney. The only werewolf she met on the road was a female werewolf. The only other person that she's interacted with as frequently as possible aside from Klaus.
His eyes widen, lighting up a bit in interest. "You're a werewolf too?"
Caroline nods slowly. "So, what's a werewolf doing here?"
"I was born here," he says, furrowing his brows slightly. "What's your excuse?"
Caroline drops her arms to her side, really looking at this young man in front of her, wondering what the chances were that two separate werewolf lines would live together in the same place. From what Caroline understands about werewolves, is that they usually only gather together in packs or as a union of some sort between packs, but not much more.
Caroline tilts her head slightly. "Well, that's a coincidence, isn't it? So was I."
He blinks a few times, taking a tiny step closer to her. "You were? Really? Are we... related? Are you a Lockwood?"
Caroline sees a hazy image in the back of her mind of a dark-haired boy from school. He was a Lockwood, she remembers, from her class. What was his name again? T... T...
"Tyler..?" Caroline asks slowly. "Tyler Lockwood?" His dark eyes light up and she knew she was right, she just couldn't believe that she remembered him of all people. "Wow, Tyler. It has been a long time."
He shakes his head, looking at her curiously. "Do I know you? Have we met before?" He crosses his arms over his chest as if uncomfortable and intrigued at the same time.
"Caroline," Caroline says, pointing to herself. "Caroline Forbes."
He blinks once, twice, three times before his dark eyes light up in recognition. "Caroline Forbes..? Are you kidding? I haven't seen you since... since..." he turns his dark eyes up over her head trying to recall the last time that he saw her. She knew the moment he remembers, by the slight tightening of his expression. "It's... been a long time."
"Elliott Smith," Caroline says, evenly, choosing to never forget the name and face of the boy who died to make her what she is. "He has a name. The name of the boy that I killed that triggered my werewolf curse."
There is a tightness to the corners of his lips. It's a look she recognizes. That same look that people get when they think about something that bothers them terribly but they don't want others to know that it bothers them. Which Caroline can understand. They are talking about the death of a kid in their childhood. Probably all of her class's first time dealing with death, and it was one of their own. Caroline doesn't remember him specifically, but figures that Tyler was probably out there on the playground when Elliott died.
"I uh... accidentally killed a girl named Sarah..." Tyler blurts out, making Caroline jerk back a bit in surprise. "I was in a fight with someone and I pushed her back and she hit her head against the corner of a desk."
Caroline stares at him for a long time, wondering why he was telling her this. Then she wondered if maybe he wanted to talk to somebody about it. The last that Caroline remembered, there weren't any werewolves in Mystic Falls, but maybe that's because she wasn't paying close enough attention, but then again, when she triggered her curse, she was so young she couldn't hide it. Tyler seems newly turned. It probably hasn't been all that long. He's old enough that he might be able to hide it from those around him for a while, but it must be scary.
Caroline was sent away from her home when she triggered her curse. She has to wonder what it might be like for Tyler.
"Do your parents know?" Caroline asks softly.
"No," Tyler says, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. "My dad is... uh, he'd gone. He died a few months back and my mom has no idea. There was this girl, Jules, who was helping me out for a while but... she died too. She was a werewolf too."
Caroline's eyebrows pull together. "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I ask how she died?"
He kicks at the cement with his shoe, blinking rapidly. "She was sacrificed in a ritual." He swallows, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as Caroline's blood runs cold.
"A ritual?" Caroline asks, her lips barely moving. "What... kind of ritual?"
Tyler shakes his head, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "The bad kind. A really bad guy came to town looking for Elena - you remember her? Elena Gilbert, I think you guys used to be friends."
Caroline nods, not having the air in her lungs to tell him that she actually saw said girl earlier that day.
"Well, apparently she's a doppelganger or something and he needed her life and the lives of both a vampire and a werewolf to break the curse placed on him," Tyler says, face twisting up in anger.
"He needed to kill them?" Caroline asks slowly, her hands shaking a bit. She forces them to curl up into fists at her side. But that can't be. She saw Elena alive this afternoon and Klaus didn't seem surprised to see her alive. "But... Elena isn't... she isn't dead..."
"No, thankfully the guy's brother, Elijah, came up with a loophole that let Elena live," Tyler says, shaking his head. "He came at the perfect time, that Elijah fellow. He was able to convince Klaus to not kill Elena after Elijah saved her. The same can't be said for Jules or Elena's aunt Jenna."
Caroline's hands tremble at her side and she tucks them under her arms to hide their shaking. Her mind is racing. She has no idea what she's going to do now with this information. Now the aggression from those three from earlier makes sense. Klaus is an adversary in their lives. He's been a savior, a protector, and a friend to her. But not to everyone.
Caroline knew that it wasn't going to be easy to break his curse - he told her as much - but she never for a moment thought it would be like his. And even if she had thought of it, she wouldn't have wanted to know. This was absolutely terrible. Caroline closes her eyes, trying to imagine this version of Klaus. She's trying hard to see him in the way these childhood friends of hers see him.
But she can't. She can't see him as a monster or a bad guy even though her former friends see him as such. To her... he wasn't any of those things. To her... well...
"I have to go," Caroline says, looking into Tyler's eyes. "Can we talk some more later?"
Tyler looks surprised, blinking a few times before nodding. "Uh, sure. I'll see you around?"
Caroline nods, turning around and heading back toward the Mikaelson mansion, not able to look up from the cement until she makes it back. She stops at the end of the driveway, looking up at the house and straining her hearing as much as she can but she doesn't hear anything from within. One of the cars is gone and if she focuses hard enough, she can hear the sound of Klaus's heart beating as he walks around the house.
She walks up the driveway slowly, stopping only to look down the street at the setting sun, before walking into the house and heading straight up the stairs to throw herself into the shower and wash the day away, trying to decide what to do next.
Caroline showers longer than necessary and crawls into bed without dinner and then she just lays there for hours, staring out the window trying to get her racing mind to calm down. Elijah and Rebekah returned home at some point and there was a significant sound of bags brushing against one another as they walk up the stairs. It sounds like someone went shopping.
Caroline doesn't blame Rebekah for a moment. All her clothes have been out of date for a long time. And if Caroline had just come back from a death-like state due to her asshole brother keeping her like that for almost a hundred years, she'd hit him right in the wallet too.
"Where is she? The girl?" Caroline hears Rebekah asks as they shuffle down the hall toward one of the other rooms. "What was her name?"
"Caroline," Elijah responds.
"And she went to bed as soon as she came back from her walk," Klaus says a moment later, sounding angry. "I think your yelling upset her."
Caroline blinks slowly, her eyes hurting from all the staring as Rebekah huffs loudly, "Oh yes, I'm sure all the yelling probably knocked some sense into that poor girl. She's probably contemplating a way to leave you right now."
Maybe Rebekah said it to hurt him, or maybe a spiteful part of her wished it to be so, but Caroline had to cover her ears to block out the noise, unable to hear it any longer. She can't listen in as they talk about her, even as she imagines the angry scowl on Klaus's face at his sister's words. Caroline's not sure how much they talked about it or how in-depth that they went, but Caroline knows that those words made Klaus angry if his silence is anything to glean from. It may be because she knows him so well, but she can just see the angry lines etched into his face just from memory alone.
But Caroline could listen to them talk. With her hands pressed tightly to her ears, it allows her a moment to think. The shower wasn't enough. Her mind was spinning with all this information.
Caroline doesn't feel love for the people she once knew. Tyler and Elena. Not in the way that she would have their lives been different. Now they are old childhood friends that she hasn't seen in a long time. She can empathize with their pain. Show compassion in any way that she can. But she's not sure what she should do.
Do this change anything? It's not like she didn't already know he was an ancient asshole who did what he wanted and killed who he wanted whenever he wanted to. Is the fact that Caroline can superimpose herself onto a version of herself that would have been in pain alongside them prove that something should change? She doesn't know. In a different life, perhaps, she would have grown up alongside Elena, Bonnie and even Tyler. Maybe she would look at Klaus the same way that her childhood friends do.
But she doesn't know. Should she allow these people to change her perceptions of someone based solely on their bad opinion of him? No, and she's not sure that they entirely can. But they are getting her thinking. There is so much about Klaus that she didn't know. Things she chose not to know or expand on because it's easier not knowing. It's easier to run away without having those connections. Without knowing everything there is to know, it's easier to go when things fall apart.
Their relationship without emotions has always been best. It's cleaner that way. More malleable. Without feelings involved when it's over, it's done. They can go about their ways.
But there is this hollowness in Caroline's chest that has always been there. That part of her that yearned for companionship that she never seemed to be able to keep. No one stayed. No one ever stayed. Caroline's parents pushed her away when Elliott died. Caroline's aunt ran when things started looking hairy without even a single word of explanation. To anyone, it seems. None of Caroline's friends remained constant. Even back in Iowa, going to school, she only had fair weather acquaintances that could leave with a drop of a dime.
Caroline has the same number she did back then, and not a single one has ever reached out to her when her aunt went missing and she eventually dropped out of school without a word.
Caroline wants that connection so bad. She wants to have someone who would always be there for her, and it terrifies her to know that Klaus is the closest person to that. He's the only tangible connection she really has. She has people that she could reach out to. People she was friendly with, but nothing as real as what she has with Klaus.
And that scares her more than anything.
She lives on now only in Klaus's thoughts of her. Her mom didn't even recognize her, her aunt is still missing, her father is MIA at the moment, her childhood friends are all grown up now and that leaves... Klaus.
Klaus who is a vampire. Klaus who is a werewolf. Klaus who is a hybrid. Klaus who is a monster. Klaus who is a bastard and a jerk and careless and flippant and rude and hurtful and mean... to everyone but her. Klaus is this terrible, horrible person to everyone else. But not her. And the amount of power that he has over her is astounding. And so absolutely terrifying, she feels like she's suffocating.
And that's why their relationship works the way that it is. Without bond or connections beyond the flesh, running away is always an option. Going someone and vanishing into the nothing so efficiently that nothing could ever find her again.
That is the beautiful thing about not having any connections outside of the small rectangular device laying on her table, with just one action, she could close that line and disappear. And with no one to know her, no one will really miss her when she's gone.
Caroline's arms hurt so bad that she has to finally release her grip on her own ears, turning to face the moonlight. So many emotions swirling around inside of her that she didn't know how to address. Was what she realized today enough to change anything? Does it change anything? Is it really enough to destroy the image of Klaus that she has painted inside of her mind? Honestly, Caroline didn't know.
And despite the desperate tossing and turning she did, wrestling with her racing mind and this aching desire to crawl into Klaus's arms, she stayed in her own bed the whole night. Feeling empty, confused, and hurt.
Caroline watched the sunrise with bleary eyes after having gotten no sleep at all. She kept going back and forth with how she felt. And she came to realize that it wasn't just Tyler and his story that she couldn't stop thinking about. It was about everything. He wasn't that way with her, but she heard stories from people. She heard about all the terrible and horrible things that he's done, some for as simple a reason as being bored or it was done on a whim alone. Caroline knew these things and chose to pretend like they didn't matter, but if she stayed here in Mystic Falls, it would be around people where this would matter.
It would mean that if she accepted Klaus at his word, and decided to continue to live on as they have been, that she may be effectively destroying any chance at all of her rebuilding relationships with these people. And while she wasn't sure she even wanted relationships with them anymore - if such a thing was possible - she wasn't sure she wanted to burn down the bridge before she had the chance to at least think about exploring it.
But if she decided to take a chance of the maybes of everyone else - namely the people of her childhood - then that might mean forsaking all the good things that she had with Klaus. And she had so many good things.
Was she willing to destroy a good year with a good man just to get sucked up into an angry situation that she has absolutely no part to play in? She has no control over Klaus or his actions. She wasn't here, she didn't somehow influence him in one capacity or another to do something, yet somehow she feels shame in his place. Where he chooses to ignore the pain he's brought others, Caroline can't help but feel its angry stab in her heart every time that she thinks about it.
Caroline finally sits up, rubbing tiredly at her eyes before focusing on her hearing, honing in on the gentle beating of Klaus's heart, just beyond the room Rebekah now occupies. It's steady and strong and when she whispers his name, it jumps a bit. If she hadn't been listening closely, she wouldn't have noticed it. Either he's a very light sleeper, which she knows that he is but not that light, or he got just as much rest as she did. He was probably listening to her toss and turn all night like he had the night before, but this time she didn't come to him.
"Klaus," She says again, this time a bit louder, and his heart rate speeds up enough for her to know that he's up completely. "Klaus, please come to me." And he does. His heartbeat vanishes almost immediately and appears again outside her door. She had closed it last night when she went to shower, wanting to put as many physical barriers between them as she could so that she could think alone, but now, just hearing his heart outside her door makes her yearn for him to just get close to her. "Come in," she says when he doesn't immediately walk in.
He's always been gentlemanly about that. He always gave her space when she wanted it.
He comes in, closing the door softly behind him before walking over to the bed to sit down in front of her, turning so that they were staring at one another. She's not sure if it was the fact that she was tossing and turning all night and didn't go to see him or the fact that she brushed him off the night before without a word, or if she had some look on her face to show she was upset - or perhaps a combination of all three - but his look is somber when it meets her own.
"Is something wrong, love?" He asks after almost an entire minute of silence.
"Yes," Caroline admits. "And I've been racking my brain all night trying to think of a way to keep going with what I now know and I feel like it's only right that we talk about it. That I give you the chance to say something too."
"In regards to..?"
So Caroline tells him about her walk, about how she ran into Tyler Lockwood and they got to talking after realizing that both of them were werewolves. She tells him about what Tyler said and how it makes her feel hearing all of it. She tells him about her confliction on choosing sides, and if it was even fair that she did so. And the whole time Klaus just stares back at her, listening to her every word but not even attempting to hide the sadness in his eyes, as if the consequences for something have now revealed themselves to him and he's regretting his choices.
Which makes sense seeing as he was being needlessly violent, but at least he is showing that what happened did affect him.
"I did what I thought I had to in order to break that curse my mother placed on me," Klaus admits softly. "Perhaps I took it too far in regards to Auntie Jenna, but I honestly wasn't thinking about it. I just wanted to break my curse and get back to you." And once more that strong emotion swells up inside of her but she has to push it away.
"I can't live like that, Klaus," Caroline says softly. "I am not a mean person by nature. I love people. I love being around them and seeing them smile. I can't just needlessly discard people who are in pain, especially if I play a part in it. And it scares me that you can."
His lips tremble as big blue eyes stare back at her. "Caroline... I..." His voice trails off, not knowing what to say. But there is fear in his eyes. A fear that Caroline doesn't understand.
"I've been thinking about it all night and I've come to realize something that I've tried so desperately to run from yet now I fear that it is impossible to do," she says, feeling tears swell up in her eyes, watching as heartbreak and fear cross over Klaus's face, his hands gripped in tight fists on his lap. "I am scared of the power you have over me," she admits.
Surprise flickers across his face. "What do you mean?"
"I can't live my life being needlessly cruel, nor can I sit back and watch you do it. I have realized that I am..." she hesitates, hating that by saying it out loud, makes it real. That the feeling that she's been hiding for so long, that has long since threatened to overwhelm her, will do so when she puts voice to the feeling. "That I am.. starting to fall in love with you."
Surprise and another emotion that Caroline can't name flickers across his face. Perhaps it is hope? "What?"
"And it terrifies me," Caroline whispers, roughly wiping tears away. "If I fall in love with you, I might have to stay by your side and watch as you do those terrible things, and I know that would destroy me. Loving you the way you are to others would absolutely destroy me." She turns her gaze out the window, unable to bear the look of destruction across his face as tears blinded her momentarily. "I am not my favorite person, in the slightest, but even I don't hate myself enough to watch the man I love to destroy me." Her hands are shaking and it's hard to breathe, but she pushes on, "So I chose not to love. I chose to remain by your side as we are. Friends until we can't be anymore. Then we become strangers."
She didn't know if she was just offering lip service or if the pit of her stomach was just her subconscious mind telling her that it might just be too late. She may chose not to believe in love, especially between them, but his actions, regardless may end up destroying her anyway.