Chapter 26- Haunted

Summary: Months after his husband Sam Evans dies, Kurt finally gets a chance to see him again.

Rating: K+

Characters: Sam Evans, Kurt Hummel

AU: Sam and Kurt got together in junior year; No Blaine.

Warnings: Past character death, mentions of death and mild violent situations.

Kurt looked around the room, shadows flickering in front of his eyes. The darkness stretched out impossibly far in front of him, like it always did. He knew that he was going to deal with this particular situation, but he had not prepared for it.

It had been seven months since the death of Sam Evans.

His husband.

As it stood, Kurt was never able to access him, his usually potent connection to the spiritual realm blocked by an unknown force. He had focused harder than ever on trying to get through to someone there. He couldn't reach his mother, although he knew the reason for that. He had never fully accepted her death, so he was never able to see her in her beyond form.

Oh.

So Kurt had finally accepted Sam's death. That sounded likely, given the alteration in his grieving patterns. Sleep was still something that was hard to come by, but he rarely cried while getting there. He usually stayed sound awake, eyes blinking rigidly until he passed out.

People came by as Kurt expected they would. He put himself on autopilot and entertained their merriments for as long as he could before cracking, something that would happen more often than not.

Kurt reached out his hand, passing his fingers through silvery wisps of...something before they dissipated into the cold winter air. He sat up in his bed, looking around the room.

He didn't know what exactly he was looking for. He guessed just something to rationalize his new feeling this morning. The ache in his heart was just a little less potent today. Acceptance was a big part of moving on so if he had finally come to terms with the fact that his husband, his soulmate was no longer walking the land of the living, he could deal with that.

Besides, he wasn't like a normal human being. He could still interact with Sam.

When Elizabeth had passed, Kurt had wondered why he was sad. He was still going to be able to contact her. He felt her energy sometimes, simply passing through. His lack of acceptance meant that she couldn't linger, but Kurt knew that she often checked up on him. Her presence was commonly strongest at her grave. It wasn't far from where Sam's was nowadays so Santana or usually Quinn would accompany him whenever he needed them both.

But Sam? Sam he could feel and hear and sometimes see vaguely in the corner of his eye. Or at least he thought he did, expecting to see Sam sat on the edge of the bed in the morning, rubbing his eyes before he went downstairs to get coffee. It was never actualized, but Kurt reveled in the fantasy of it all.

Kurt sat at his vanity, staring at the specks of dust on the mirror, how they lingered just like every passing memory of Sam.

His smile. The way he moved. How he pointed to Kurt in the stands when he caught the winning touchdown their junior year. How they had sang a duet at Nationals.

How Sam had proposed. Their wedding day. Their first discussion about having children.

Kurt cut himself off. That particular day still bore too much sadness to think about. Sam's face had lit up after Kurt had approached him, wanting to start their family at long last. Sam had been thinking about children with Kurt ever since their junior year. Kurt was more reticent to actually endeavor in the task. He wanted the idea of a family, but he was never too sure where he stood with kids.

It was never a point of contention between them, though.

Sam had always said that Kurt's wishes would come first, because it was easier for him to be without a child than it would be for Kurt to have one. Kurt's insecurities had rushed to the surface. His own parental unit had been by no means normal, but it had been stable enough compared to what it could have been. Sam's parents had loved each other since the day they met and still continued to share that love even after twenty four years of marriage.

Kurt straightened his posture, looking deeply into his own bloodshot eyes in the mirror.

"I miss you," he choked out after a few seconds of contemplation.

"You don't have to," a low, familiar voice replied.

Kurt's body twisted quickly, face illuminated by the dim lights. That voice sent shivers down his spine like electrical energy. His Sam was back.

Kurt rushed to him, standing at the back of the room. He stopped himself directly in front of his dead husband. Paused.

"Can I touch you?"

Sam smirked. "You never had to ask before."

Kurt reached out a trembling finger, sighing in relief as it made contact.

Without thinking, Kurt wrapped himself around Sam's bulky frame and nuzzled his face into his chest.

"I've missed this so much."

Sam kissed atop his head tenderly. "Took you long enough to accept my death, Kurt.

"Hey, you're a lot to lose."

Sam nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry."

Kurt clenched his jaw. "It wasn't your fault."

"I chose to act. I could've stayed safe and came home to you."

Kurt shook his head, pulling away slightly. "That's not your nature, Sammy. When someone needs help, you help them. So when you come across a burning building and notice a little girl trapped in her bedroom, of course you're going to rush in to help.

"I often have fleeting musings about that night, wishing you had left her to burn."

"Kurt-."

He sighed softly. "I know, it's terrible. I don't think I mean it. I just...I want you back, Sammy."

"I'm here now."

Kurt stroked his face, brushing a lock of hair from his eyes. "It's hurting you, isn't it? Being here?'

Sam frowned. "Being here is the happiest I've been in seven months."

Kurt shook his head once more. "No. I mean, the effort you're expending to stay here with me. I can feel it draining you slowly."

Sam's face hardened. "It's fine. I can handle it."

"No, you can't. But you can learn to and that's okay. Because the more we do this, the longer you can stay.

"I just wish it was forever."

Sam smiled as they both sat down on the bed. "You've been doing so well. You're so strong, Kurt. If it had been you, I wouldn't have held up so well."

"You would have. I may be strong, but you are the stronger one of us. I've always known that."

Sam chuckles gently, clutching Kurt's face. "I've missed holding you. Whenever I visit, I have to settle for just looking and listening. You can feel it, right?"

"You came on my birthday. You blew my candle out."

Sam nodded. "I knew you'd know it was me. I was tempted to write the words 'Avatar Rules' on the wall in bright orange ink if you were confused."

Kurt snorted. "Even in death, you know better than to mess with my interior decorating skills."

"They're superior."

Kurt's stomach sank as he felt the connection fade, just slightly. Sam's image became a little duller, his touch a little less prominent on his skin. "You have to leave." It wasn't an order, but a statement. He knew Sam couldn't stick around for too long just yet, but those moments with him meant everything.

"I'll come back. You know I will. I'll always be here with you."

Kurt nodded, tears springing to his eyes. "I'm always gonna love you."

Sam smiled. "I'm always gonna love you, too."

With a flicker, Sam disappeared.

Kurt curled up into a ball, grabbing the bedsheets and inhaling.

They didn't quite smell like Sam anymore, but the faint residue of his scent was enough to carry Kurt in this moment. He quelled the tears, they were helping nobody, and instead basked in the memory of what it felt like to hold Sam once more, after all those months of silent praying and wishing he could have just one moment.

He would never take those for granted.

He didn't know when Sam was going to return to him, but he knew that he would cherish every single second when he did.

He would always cherish every single second with Sam.

Because Sam was all he had ever known.

And his ghost lingered.

And if it meant that Kurt would never move on, would never love anybody else, he was okay with that.

Because Sam was his soulmate.

And even though he had died all those months ago, that still rang true.

This time, Kurt didn't really mind being haunted.

A/N: So I randomly got inspiration for this. I'm not sure when I'll update again, if ever, but here is this, I guess.

The song is "Haunted" by Beyoncé from her self-titled fifth studio album, BEYONCÉ