"How'd you get this one?" A scar along a hip is probed. "If you're okay with telling me."

"When I was a scrawny little kid, I tried to make a bike out of some scrap I'd found. I really wanted my own bike and I wanted it to be special, uniquely mine. Like I could fashion something of myself in something else. Kinda conceited, huh?"

"S'adorable."

"You're so indulgent." Tangle nestles in closer to Whisper, the gesture burdened with stress, anxiety, grief, fear, the fatigue of being the always cheerful, friendly, optimistic one. "Mm."

The wolf doesn't harry the lemur to continue this story, sensing where it may end, and it scares her, to go there. But it is left to the narrator's choice. This impassivity isn't mere manners, it's not reduced to trauma alone, as there is ignorance and denial and exhaustion and a desire to be punished, even if indirectly.

"Jewel told me it was unsafe. She's always been cautious and smart about stuff. Me, I wouldn't have made it past my preteens without her there, always looking out for me and my clumsy, dorky, awkwardly gay ass."

"I'm glad she took such good care of you." Whisper allows a moment to pass before adding more quietly, "Wouldn't have gotten to meet you, otherwise."

Tangle is not happy, right now, even if she tries a weak smile.

"I'd have been lost, too. Without her, without you."

"Aw, c'mon."

"S'true." Claws drag loving trails through striped fluff. "My hero."

"Whisper, I… You're…"

"Tangle."

The lemur's smile wavers, before she leans in a little and plants a brief, gentle, timid kiss on the wolf's nose.

An onset of muffled, metallic thudding announces that Whisper's tail is now wagging against floor of the vessel, riskily close to a civilian's boot, and she doesn't seem to realise it.

Tangle refrains from any playful teasing, instead making an effort to physically relax to stop the shivers of unease, almost lapsing into her best friend's tested warmth and dulled strength, but the mind won't rest. "So, um, back to the story about my death-trap of a bike."

The wolf remains silent, breathing.

"'Structurally unsound,' Jewel said it was, in that sweet, tiny voice she had, back then. Using her big girl words. She was right. Hell, adult me would've had at least enough common sense, if I could go back to then, to be, like, dude, don't do it, it looks super dodgy, man. But, hey. Grownup me wasn't there, back then, and I was just a kid."

"Bet you were the cutest kid."

"Well, not to brag…" The lemur realises that the wolf is trying to pretend that they aren't about to reopen old wounds to bleed into fresh ones, reasserting guilt and shame, contextualising self-ridicule of one for an audience of the other, harming them both. "Anyway." Tangle wants to punish herself with this sweet torture, keeping Whisper as an audience, being the guide to the cut that spills intestines. "Jewel was so small and her eyes were so worried." What the lemur does not realise, is that the wolf seeks this punishment, too, to share it. Tangle might've stopped, otherwise, even if Whisper, still, would not.

The wolf brings a Wisp closer between them. She doesn't know what it takes to be a good friend. She doesn't know what the lemur needs.

"Dumbass me just laughed and reassured Jewel with some tough guy talk, y'know, then I hugged her because she was unconvinced and I told her not to worry, that I'd be fine, somehow, because I was a badass and I'd evade the consequences, since kids are indestructible. She begged me not to ride that bike I'd strung and stuck together with wire and tape. I rode it, anyway."

Whisper holds Tangle's hand, clammy and rigid with nerves.

"I haven't forgiven myself for making her worry. For not listening."

"You were a child."

"I was. And the bike fell apart, anyway, because the universe doesn't care about kids, and my bike failed me on my way downhill. I was going so fast. I hit the ground as it collapsed, hard, and god. It hurt."

"I'm sorry."

"Got some metal lodged in my leg and little Jewel, bless her, had to haul my lanky butt up that hill. She carried me. So much smaller, not built for for it, just doing her best. I was crying so bad, not just because it hurt and the wound was scary, but because I knew, I'd screwed up in front of my best friend and she was paying for it with her sweat and my blood all over her new dress."

"Blood washes out."

"Tears, too. I couldn't figure out how to save myself, after she tried to save me. She saved me so many times, in small ways, mostly. But those small ways amount to one big direction that goes opposite to an early grave. She pulled me back even though I was so stupid and selfish and insistent on dragging myself down for excitement, failing to see the hole I'd dug until I was old enough to understand her worries. She suffered for me, all that time. And me. What was I trying to prove, and to who, and why?"

"Tangle…"

"Whisper, I've tried to show Jewel that her words do matter to me, that I'm sorry for being such a reckless, fun-loving jackass, but even now, I cringe when I remember how it felt. Not the leg. But the not-listening part. That's only hurt worse with age. The older you get, the more mistakes you'll end up repeating."

The wolf rests her head against the lemur's, their shoulders pressed in this lack of space.

"Ended up in hospital for a bit. She came to visit me every day, after school, and helped me catch up on homework. Snuck in chocolates. Always smiled. Didn't chide me or tease me. No 'I told you so,' not even once. And she gave me lots of hugs. You know me, I'm a sucker for hugs."

Whisper giggles faintly.

"Jewel made me feel like, even though I was a dumbass kid who was not indestructible, after all, it didn't make her love me any less. I still had her in my corner, wiping the tears from my eyes and telling me to stop being so hard on myself, because everybody's dumb, sometimes, and even if we're not indestructible, that made me feel the next best thing." Tangle's tail is coiled about her loved ones, keeping them closely knit, together. "But all that love didn't make me any less cruel to her."

The wolf doesn't mind it when the lemur turns to nuzzle at her cheek, coaxing a delicate, affectionate sigh in return.

"She's been there for me, since the beginning."

Whisper feels a calloused fingertip wander over her lips, to alight upon a fang, at risk of being pierced by the sharp point, or sliced along the brutal curve of nature. Yet prey is unafraid of the predator's weaponry, knowing enough of the heart beneath.

"And I left her, alone."

"Not your fault." The wolf must protest, now, but in a way that won't stop what's going to happen. "You couldn't have known Eggman–"

"Doesn't matter, darling."

"But–"

"But nothing."

Blue shards and heavy lashes.

"I left a friend behind." Amethysts, set so dark beneath broken brows, yet glimmering. "And that's unforgivable. But I can only be in one place at a time, so if I'd stayed for her, then I'd have left you."

Whisper had been desiring this pain, as Tangle's finger falls over those lips, effectively sealing them. The wolf has never felt so weak, so mute, before, taking this punishment with dignity spoiled by a wagging tail that's gone forgotten.

"Jewel's clever and kind, but she's harmless, because she wouldn't throw a punch that could hurt, not even in self-defence. She uses reason and logic and warily appeals to the goodness in someone." The lemur apologises with another soft, fleeting kiss to the wolf's nose, then withdraws slowly. "And you can tell me I helped save lives. But do you wanna hear something totally unheroic?"

Whisper merely threads their fingers more tightly as Tangle shudders emotionally, tears hot as they spill from cold eyes.

"I can't be in two places at once. But if that one light goes out... If her light goes out, or yours, or hellfire, if I lose you, both, then..."

Amy stands tall and strong, exhaustion set in her green eyes and reassuring smile, anyway, as a child stays close to her legs, clinging beneath her soothing palm.

"It almost won't matter, how many people I help save. I can't help everyone. But you're not just anyone."

Cream's eyes are dead.

"What's food, or water, or anything?"

Espio stares at the blade in his hand.

"That's how selfish my love is."

Sonic's eyes flutter shut, sleep beckoning like a siren to his poisoned muscles and bones, so tired.

"I love her that much and I love you. But I'm not as badass as I wish I was. I'm dumber than I thought."

Tails argues with his intelligence, feeling useless, again, despite it.

The wolf's throat has grown tight and it's hard to breathe quietly.

"What if we're too late?" The lemur sniffles, struggling to keep her voice down, to maintain composure for the sake of the others. "I'm so scared. Jewel, she could've turned, by now, or could be turning, and maybe she's hurt. She sounded so scared on the comm. And I know Jewel. She'll be so worried about me, too. When she's found a hiding place, that's all she'll think about. Am I okay? Does my stupid, selfish self need her to save me? Pick me up, dry my eyes, pull that metal from my leg, but she can't do anything like that, because I'm here and she's there and this damn tin can can't fly fast enough and I'm so scared, because what if I can't protect her, this time?"

Whisper's blue eyes sadly befall the worry of her Wisps, their embraces far from enough.

"I get it."

She wishes she could tell comforting lies, promising that the beetle is quite fine, but that's not the point.

"It's my fault," Tangle murmurs. "But it's not because I meant it. You could say I did nothing wrong. Didn't mean to do anything wrong, at least."

But the throat is so tight and the tongue so unaccustomed to words, and this is not the point.

"People needed help. I just wanted to help. I didn't want fame or to make money off of being a hero. And I wanted to see you, again. But part of me screams in my head, now, that while I was running around being some hotshot, before I got that call, I was stupid, I was wrong, and none of that heroic crap matters to me because it's too close to feeling utterly empty when I failed someone I love so much."

The wolf aches below her throat, too, in the pit of her chest.

"You and the others could've handled things fine without me. Wanted to help, but… I should've stayed in Spiral Hill. I should've stayed with Jewel. I could've at least protected her. I'm all she's got and I'm gone. So, I get it, now. I think I do. I'm bigger and older and I'm still on that death-trap of a bike. I ride it to wherever I think I'll be needed. I just want to be needed. But I overlooked Jewel."

Tasteless bread. Lukewarm water. Thoughts.