A/N: Hey, everyone. Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been super-busy and I've been a bit sick, but hopefully, I'll mend up soon. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Later!
Chapter 3
Loki dreamed. He was in that wretched ice forest, hurrying through the ice spires, desperately seeking for something or someone. Every time he turned a corner he was certain he would find it, but each time, he was cruelly disappointed. The worst thing was the sound hovering at the edge of his hearing, a sound somewhere between his name and the sound of the wind rushing through the ice shards.
He woke at some point and was mightily confused when he saw not the bright stone and timber walls of his room on Asgard, but the rough stone and ice blocks of…Jotunheim.
For a moment he felt so desolate that he was close to tears. He rolled over in bed and buried his head underneath his pillow, telling himself for the thousandth time that he was a Prince of Asgard, and he could NOT dissolve into tears every time he felt a little unhappy.
The silence and darkness under the pillow and the warmth of the bed holding him actually helped him relax and lulled him back to sleep. He didn't wake up again until the sun rose…that, and the whispers he heard in his room.
"I don't know if we should wake him…"
"Why not?"
"He looks so…peaceful…"
"It's almost time for breakfast, and Mother and Father said to wake him."
"But…look at him! Can you honestly look at him and say that you could wake him up?"
There was silence as the two speakers regarded him. Tired of having people gawking at him, Loki rolled over and opened his eyes. "If you wanted to avoid waking me, you shouldn't have been talking so loudly."
Bylestir and Hellbindi both looked as if they wished the floor would open up and swallow them whole. "How…how much did you hear?" Bylestir choked out.
"I look peaceful when I sleep, apparently," Loki said dryly. "I also heard something about breakfast."
"Yes, it's almost time for breakfast," Helbindi said. "Mother and Father wanted us to wake you."
Loki nodded and sat up. "All right. Give me a few minutes and I'll be ready." He got out of bed and paused. "Ah…where do I go?"
"The same room where we had supper last night," Bylestir said. "Did you want us to wait for you?"
Loki shook his head, still not quite awake. "No, I remember where it is. I'll see you downstairs."
Once they left, Loki sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. He was NOT ready for today by any measure. Last night had been uncomfortable enough; he hated to think just how long today was going to be. It was going to be a whole day spent with perfect strangers and he had no idea what to say to them. How was he going to make the time pass until he could come up to his room and be by himself?
Telling himself to think about it later, Loki headed into the bathroom and took care of necessary things before washing up. Draped in his robe and several towels, he headed back to his room to dress. It took him a few minutes to choose his clothes—he wanted something that would keep him warm but would not make him look like an overfed caterpillar. After a few minutes (and with his teeth chattering) Loki settled on black pants, a white shirt stitched in green with a matching vest, a green jacket, lined boots, and his lambswool gloves. He could always take them off when he needed to and store them in his pockets, so at least his hands would be warm. Feeling much warmer, Loki made his bed and put his room in order and headed to breakfast.
He remembered how to get to the stairs, but he had failed to remember the stairs themselves. He stopped at the head of the staircase in dismay, remembering how he'd had to be carried down them the night before. Was that what he would have to do every single day? He edged closer to the stairs and looked down. Perhaps he could...wait a moment.
Sometime during the night, someone had done something to the steps. On the railing side, there were additional stairs added, cutting the tread heights in half for each step. The additional stairs made the original staircase easy for him to go down on his own. Grinning, he held on to the railing and headed downstairs on his own and reached the dining room without a problem.
"Good morning, Loki," Farbauti said as soon as he reached the dining room. "Did you sleep well?"
Did she really want the whole truth? Hmm. No, she'd be distressed if he said anything approaching the truth. "I slept fine. You?"
"Just fine," she said, giving him a smile. "So no nightmares last night?"
Damn. Did she know? "None that I can recall right now." That statement was the perfect truth. He couldn't recall any nightmares at that moment because if he did, her reaction might be bad.
"All right," she said, leading him to his chair and giving him a hand up to his seat. "Hungry?"
Loki felt his stomach grab hold of his ribs and shake them. "Ravenous." He only hoped that he could eat what was served. He hadn't forgotten the meat from the previous night.
Laufey came in at that point, greeted his wife, Helbindi, Bylestir, and then clapped a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Good morning, Loki."
"Good morning." How could one person's arm weigh so much? His shoulder felt as if it were about to give way.
The servers came in then and Laufey took his seat at last, showing mercy to Loki's shoulder. When they left, there was a large platter of sliced meats, a basket of fruit, a basket of toasted bread, a bowl full of...pieces of...something, another basket holding something that looked like boiled eggs, a tureen full of something hot, and pitchers with something to drink. Without a word Farbauti, Laufey, and their sons filled his plate and bowl for him and poured him a drink.
"Here you are," Farbauti said, giving him back his cup. "I think you'll like this."
Loki cautiously took a sip of the hot drink and felt himself smile. It was delicious! "What is this?"
"Hata tea," Bylestir told him. "It's supposed to be good for growing children."
Loki swallowed fast and nearly choked. "Ah...I'm pretty sure I'm done growing."
"Bylestir's teasing you," Helbindi said. "But he's right about the growing children thing. Hata tea is regarded as a tonic and all-around good for you. Besides that, it tastes really good."
Loki wasn't going to argue with that. He took another sip and set his cup aside so he could start on his meal. He looked with some misgivings at the meat...would it be safe to eat it? He had two slices of meat, a slice of bread, a piece of fruit that had been cut into quarters for him, some of the stuff he hadn't recognized, two things that looked like eggs, and a bowl full of...something. "I recognize the bread, meat, fruit, and eggs, but what is the rest of what I'm about to enjoy?" That was the politest way he could think of to ask, What IS all this stuff? and Will any of this set my mouth on fire?
"You have ledas soup there," Laufey said, pointing to his bowl. "It has mushrooms, chopped vegetables, and falna grain in it. It is seasoned, but it shouldn't be spicy."
"The white blocks are cheese," Farbauti added. "You can spread them on your bread or break them into your soup."
"The meat is only seasoned with salt," Helbindi put in. "I think you'll be able to eat it with no problem."
Feeling reassured, Loki dug in to his meal. The meat was tender and tasted a bit smoky, the cheese sharp with a sweet tang, and the bread was crusty and feather-light at the same time. The eggs, although they were shaped differently than what he was used to, were still eggs, despite looking like pieces of hail. With a bit of salt, they were delicious. The fruit was crisp and delicious, and feeling rather reassured, Loki started on the soup. He was used to hot cereals at breakfast, but he supposed, with all the grain in the broth, this technically counted. As soon as the taste of the first spoonful hit him, he smiled. It was heaven in a bowl!
"Good, huh?" Bylestir commiserated.
"Wonderful," Loki admitted. He wondered if he could get his hands on the recipe. When he went back to Asgard, he'd want to…His heart gave a little thump. He wouldn't be going back to Asgard. Not for a while, at least.
Oh, gods. What was he going to do here, day after day after day?
"I'm sure that you boys have plans for today," Laufey said to his two younger sons. "But I would like it if you would spend some time with Loki. Why don't you show him around the palace and the grounds this morning?"
Bylestir and Helbindi grinned. "Father, are you joking? All our plans today include Loki!"
Loki wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Farbauti fixed both her sons with a look. "If it rains anywhere today in the palace, you'll both be in trouble."
"We wouldn't dream of it," Helbindi said primly. "We promise, Mother."
"Absolutely," Bylestir added, radiating innocence.
She wasn't fooled. "Mmm-hmm."
Loki couldn't resist. "I could keep an eye on them for you, if you like."
Oh, the looks on their faces.
He couldn't help it. A chuckle crept its way up his throat and escaped, surprising him, and a moment later he was leaning back in his chair and laughing. All of them were chuckling after a bit and for some reason, Loki felt a lot better.
"That would be helpful," Farbauti said brightly once they'd calmed down.
Loki liked her sense of humor. "So, what is on the agenda today?"
"Agenda?" Helbindi echoed. "There's no plan. No obligations. We're just gonna show you everything in the palace and the grounds…"
"You'll love it. Trust us." Bylestir gave him a warm smile.
Loki wondered just why they were so eager to show him around, but he decided it didn't really matter. He'd have to learn where things were, after all. He'd be here for a year.
After breakfast and after wishing Laufey and Farbauti a pleasant morning, Bylestir and Helbindi led Loki out of the breakfast room and down the hall.
"I'm sure you'll recognize this place," Helbindi said as he led them into the large hall where Loki had said goodbye to his family the day before. "This is the great hall, where Father holds large audiences and receives foreign visitors."
"It also doubles as a ball room and feast hall," Bylestir added. "The court meets here as well, when it's in session."
Loki looked around the space. Without all the Jotuns in it, it looked even larger. Carved pillars supported the roof and there was a raised gallery above the double doors that led the courtyard. At the far end of the room, opposite the door, was Laufey's and Farbauti's thrones.
After the great hall, they led Loki to the council room, where Laufey and his advisors met, and then they showed him the solar, where Farbauti and her ladies gathered during the day. After that, they took him upstairs to see the library, packed with scrolls and books, all written in the Jotun language.
"Oh, this is a good one," Bylestir said, plucking a book off the shelves and handing it to him. "They're popular children's tales. Everybody grows up hearing them, so it would be good for you to read them."
Loki opened the book and flipped through the pages. "Ahh...I can't read Jotun."
That brought his guides up short. "Oh. Well, don't worry; you'll soon learn. Let's go."
They showed him the family rooms-sitting room, study, and their own bedrooms-before showing Loki their parents' room.
"Should we be in here?" Loki whispered.
"Sure we should," Helbindi stated. "You've been in here before."
Loki looked around the room, confused. He didn't remember seeing this room before. "No, I haven't."
"When you were a baby," Bylestir clarified. "Look, over there."
Loki looked where he pointed and found himself staring at a large cradle in the corner.
"We all slept there when we were babies, but you were the first," Helbindi said as Loki approached the cradle. "Even after Bylestir and I were grown up, the cradle stayed."
Loki stared at it, and then reached out to touch it. The slightest brush of his fingers made it rock. "Why did they never...I don't know...put it away somewhere?"
"We don't know," Bylestir said sadly. "I think Mother and Father couldn't let the idea of you go. I think they were hoping to bring you home some day."
Loki sighed. "Well, even as small as I am compared to everyone else here, I'm still too big for a cradle."
"That you are." Bylestir checked what looked like a timepiece. "Are you hungry? It's almost time for lunch."
Loki nodded. Anything to get out of that room and the away from the ghost of the baby who had disappeared all those years ago.
To his surprise, Helbindi and Bylestir led him downstairs, but not to the dining room. Instead, they went down a back staircase that led to the kitchen, where the staff froze in their places when they entered.
"Hello, everyone!" Helbindi said brightly. "My brothers and I were wondering if we could possibly get a picnic lunch."
The workers all bowed. "Certainly, prince," the nearest said. "Any preferences?"
"Anything will be fine, just nothing too seasoned," Bylestir said. "Loki still isn't used to our food yet."
Loki wished he could make the floor swallow him whole. EVERYONE in that room was staring at him, and it was very uncomfortable. Even while they were bustling about, assembling the requested lunch, they were still staring.
"Ah, thank you," Helbindi said as he was handed a loaded basket. "Perfect. Let's go."
Nothing loath, Loki followed both of them out a side door and into the gardens. The wind rushed through the plants and bit right through his clothing, but he was too interested in seeing the grounds to go back inside where it was warmer.
"This is the kitchen garden," Bylestir said. "They grow fruits and vegetables in the hothouses over there, and herbs and medicines in the beds out here."
Loki looked around, feeling strangely pleased by the mathematical patterns formed by the plantings. "Who planted all this?"
"It's been here for years," Helbindi told him. "Come on, and we'll find a place to eat."
They led him through a gate and into what had to be the pleasure gardens. The flowerbeds were empty in the cold, but the patterns made by the stone paths and rockeries were striking, and Loki found himself following the knotted patterns with his eyes, trying to untie them. He felt as if he could spend hours in the gardens, trying to untangle those patterns.
"Oh, you like the tanglewoods," Bylestir said, noticing where Loki's attention was directed. "It's a popular pattern here."
"I see that," Loki said. "Do you ever find the end? Or the beginning?"
"People are still trying," Helbindi chuckled. "C'mon, let's get out of the wind."
They led Loki to a sheltered spot in the far corner of the gardens and it wasn't long before they were happily munching on what the kitchen had provided. The kitchen had split rolls and filled them with slices of meat and roast vegetables, and there was fruit, cake, and roasted nuts to finish the meal.
"Oh, that was good," Helbindi sighed as soon as the last crumb was a memory.
"Mmm," Bylestir agreed. "Loki, did you have enough to eat?"
"And then some," Loki said, leaning against the rocks behind him. "Is that what a picnic is for you? Onslaught by food?"
"You should see our name-day feasts," Helbindi said with a grin. "It's best not to have any breakfast or lunch on your name day. You need all the interior space you can get."
"You know what we should show Loki now?" Bylestir said easily into the silence that followed. "The children's garden."
Loki had a sudden vision of Jotun children frozen into statues populating a garden. "The children's garden?"
"Come and see," Helbindi and Bylestir said at the same time.
Loki followed them across the garden and through another gate, and he found himself staring at what looked like a grove full of trees. There were vines hanging from the trees, logs leaning against other trees, tangles of vines..."This is a garden?"
"You'll like it," Bylestir said. "Come on. We'll show you."
They led Loki to what looked like a patch of ground overgrown with a very thick tangle of vines. He was still trying to figure out if it was some kind of planting when Bylestir picked him up. "Hey! Put me...!"
Bylestir dropped him...he hit the vines...and he bounced! Two more bounces and he'd gained his feet! "What is this?"
"A trampoline," Helbindi said with a grin. "Like it?"
Loki bounced again, and then one more time, and he felt himself grin. This was fun!
"Mother had this garden built for children when we were still small," Bylestir explained. "It gave us a safe place to play away from the guards' exercise yard, and since we had the best playground around, we had plenty of youngsters willing to come here and play with us."
"Yes, Mother didn't really think this one through, did she?" Helbindi said, joining Loki on the trampoline. "All those kids...all the mischief we got up to...never a peaceful moment..."
Loki could just imagine the two of them driving Farbauti mad with pranks and hijinks with their friends.
Poor Farbauti.
Helbindi and Bylestir showed him the rest of the garden, and he had to admit to himself that he quite liked it. There were vines to swing on, nets of vines and trees to climb on, hollow logs to slide through, logs resting against one another that allowed riders to seesaw back and forth...any child in this garden would not want for something to do! He swung, climbed, slid, jumped, and seesawed until he started to feel tired, but then, he didn't want to stop. Ignoring his fatigue, Loki headed up the tallest climbing tree that was there and perched at the top. It afforded a pretty good view of the grounds, and...who was that headed their way? He shielded his eyes with his hand, trying to make out who it was...
"HELBINDI! BYLESTIR!" Farbauti's voice rang out in the garden, easily filling the space. "WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
"We're showing Loki the children's garden, Mother!" Helbindi called back.
"He likes it!" Bylestir added.
"GET HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW!"
Helbindi glanced up at him. "But why?"
"RIGHT NOW!" she repeated, still sounding furious. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
Feeling certain that he'd broken a rule, Loki began to climb down. His first full day in this place and he was already in trouble. That wasn't a record for him, but still, he would have liked a few more peaceful days before he did something that got him into trouble.
Helbindi and Bylestir met him halfway and climbed down next to him, watching him carefully. By the time they reached the ground, Farbauti was at the foot of the climbing tree, looking murderous.
An apology was on Loki's lips, that he was sorry he'd upset her, that he hadn't known he wasn't allowed to be in that garden, and that…
Any apologies died the instant Farbauti scooped him up and hugged him close. He could actually feel her trembling. "Ah, are you all right?" He was so surprised that the question was out before he could stop it.
"I'm fine," she said, still hugging him. "Are you hurt?"
"No," he said, feeling mightily confused.
Farbauti rounded on her two younger sons, still holding Loki. "What did you think you were doing? Hmm? He could have fallen! He could have been hurt!"
"He was doing just fine, and we were watching him," Helbindi told her.
"He's a lot smaller than you two!" Farbauti snapped. "That tree was grown for normal-sized Jotun children! Could you honestly say you could have reached him in time if he'd lost his balance and fallen?"
The chagrin coming off Helbindi and Bylestir would have choked lesser men, Loki thought. "May I get down now?"
Farbauti set him down with a quiet apology while still managing to glare at her two younger sons.
Loki couldn't take the tension anymore. Helbindi and Bylestir looked as if they wanted to die on the spot and Farbauti looked ready to oblige them by killing them both. Their attention wasn't on him, so he scooted past Farbauti and took a flying leap onto one of the swings. He slid a little bit down the vine, but the knotted seat stopped him and it wasn't long before he was swinging back and forth, going higher and higher each time. He grinned and caught a glimpse of Farbauti's face. She wasn't pleased, but she wasn't ready to kill him yet, either. She looked a lot like Frigga when she wasn't pleased. Best to nip this problem in the bud before it got worse. He let the swing come to a stop and hopped off. "I'm all right."
"I can see that. Just please be careful."
"If I promise to be careful, will you let Helbindi and Bylestir live?"
That broke the tension. A second later, and Farbauti was chuckling. "All right, all right, you've got me," she said, ruffling his hair. "Let's go inside, shall we? Laufey's waiting."
Loki, Helbinid, and Bylestir followed Farbauti inside, and Loki was more than happy to head straight for the fireplace in the small dining room. He hadn't realized just how cold it had been outside. He was freezing and he was starting to be a little tired and surprisingly, he was starting to be hungry. He felt as if he'd just had lunch, but his stomach was starting to let him know that it was very unhappy and that it wanted food, now.
Loki looked to where Farbauti was sitting and saw that the table was set for a meal. Was it dinner time already?
He didn't have to wonder long. The servers came in and put food on the table and scurried out again, and Loki saw a few of the workers he'd seen earlier in the kitchen. What they'd left on the table, though, did not look like dinner. There was too little to feed four people dinner, but perhaps a snack…What was this?
"Come and sit down, Loki," Farbauti said as Laufey came in.
"What's all this?" he asked, pulling himself up into his seat.
"It's our mid-afternoon meal," Laufey said as he took his seat. "This will hold us over until dinner later tonight."
"So, it's afternoon…tea?"
"Something like," Helbindi said as he and Bylestir took their seats.
"Would you boys like to tell your father what you got up to this afternoon?" Farbauti said sweetly as she poured a hot drink for all of them.
"Not really," Helbindi said quickly.
"Not important at all," Bylestir added.
Laufey looked at both of his sons. "What did you do?"
"Nothing." They both spoke at the same time and in the same tone and Loki was hard put to hide a smile. They reminded him of him and Thor whenever Frigga thought they'd done something and was quizzing them about it.
Homesickness rushed over him then. If he'd been at home, he could have been actually talking to his mother instead of just thinking about her, and he could have spent the day with Thor or with his friends, and perhaps, that evening, he and Odin could have whiled away an hour or two over a game of chess. Thor had no patience with the game and it was too easy to lose to Frigga, but Odin had always enjoyed playing chess with him. It gave them both a chance to talk, Odin had said more than once, and he'd always enjoyed that.
To hide how he was feeling, Loki sipped at his drink and then dug into the spiced cake in front of him. He was more than happy to accept a second helping of that and he was just poking at the last crumbs on his plate when he realized Farbauti had been speaking for quite some time.
"…and don't think that I'm going to forget about this in a hurry," she told her two younger sons. "I told you more than once that Loki is too small to climb those tall trees, but you let him do it anyway. He's your brother; it's your job to watch out for him."
"I was fine," Loki said before Helbindi or Bylestir could say anything. "I'm not a baby, you know."
"I know that," Farbauti said gently. "But the fact remains that you are still much smaller than a normal Jotun. If you were a normal size, you could have caught yourself easily if you'd fallen, but at the size you are, you could have been seriously hurt. Helbindi and Bylestir knew that, but they didn't stop you from climbing that tree."
"You're not going to keep me from doing things just because I'm small, are you?" Loki asked, dread filling him. The last thing he wanted was to be kept wrapped in cotton wool for the entire time he was there! "I can do a lot of things, you know. I trained as an Asgard warrior."
Everyone's heads turned in tandem to stare at him. As one, they all said, "WHAT?"
"I did," Loki restated calmly. "I can defend myself hand-to-hand, fight with a knife, sword, club, and staff, I'm a good archer and a good rider, and I had plenty of survival training…" He stopped. Why were they looking at him like that? Farbauti and her sons looked shocked, but Laufey looked ready to kill someone.
By that point, he'd had enough. So he'd climbed a tree. Big deal! They'd all better grasp the fact that he wasn't going to just calmly sit around for the whole year just so they'd feel better about his safety! He wasn't a baby or an invalid, so they'd better get used to that fact!
"Loki, that isn't safe for you to do," Laufey said.
"Why not?" Loki wanted to know. "I've done it for years."
Farbauti looked even more upset. "Because you're what you are."
"And that clears it all right up," Loki snapped, losing his patience.
"You do not speak to your mother that way," Laufey said firmly.
Loki didn't know what happened. He didn't know if it was his annoyance at the moment or all the emotions he'd been keeping tamped down, but the table hit the ceiling and dropped back down to the floor in pieces. While Laufey, Farbauti, and their sons were still staring at the wreckage in shock, Loki jumped down from his chair, stormed out of the room, and sprinted up the stairs. Once he was in his room, he bolted his door and magicked another lock on it. He doubted they'd be able to get through that.
He paced his room for a while, his fury still a burning, living thing inside him. What did he care if he'd wrecked some furniture? What did he care if they were angry about what he'd done? If they weren't happy with him, then they could bloody well send him back to Asgard!
After a few minutes, his anger wore down. Either that, or his anger wore him down. It really didn't matter. He knew they would be angry with him and he knew that he would hear about wrecking the table and the way he'd spoken, but at the moment, he was too tired to care. He crawled into his bed and clutched the gifts he'd gotten from his family. He was alone, far from home, and he missed them beyond bearing.