Jessica Stanley, GOAT

Part IX

To Jessica's supreme delight, Seth returned shortly with a beer in each hand. Without any hesitation, she snatched the bottle away from his left hand.

"Great, I could use some more of this stuff!" Jessica announced with pure joy before taking a swig from the uncapped top of the glass bottle. Her forehead wrinkled when she caught the most subtle raising of Seth's nose like he was sniffing something. Did she smell?

"Isn't this your first beer?" Seth asked while offering the other beer to Bella. Bella waved a hand in refusal while maintaining a polite smile. Jessica had a strong suspicion that goody-goody Bella, despite being of drinking age, never intended to drink the beer and the two were just putting on some show.

"While I do feel dead sober, this is my fourth," Jessica scoffed at Seth's inaccurate assumption that she would be willingly sober at this party.

"What have you been drinking?" After another refreshing taste of the beer passed her parched lips, Jessica wondered what Leah had been serving her earlier. Maybe the weakest alcoholic beverage known to man?

"Leah had a six-pack of this yellow canned stuff. It was alright, but I got no hint of a buzz from that crap." Jessica wasn't oblivious to Bella's retreat from her and Seth back to the path they both first saw her walking from. She couldn't deny to herself that she was curious to know why Bella was here and what was going on with her life, just a smidge. But she would never own up to wanting to ask such questions to the girl herself in real life. In the end, they would be two ships sailing past each other, heading to different destinations. And that was A-Okay in Jessica's book.

When Jessica caught onto Seth's snickering, she crossed her left arm around her chest unamused by his reaction before taking another sip of the beer in her right hand. She didn't appreciate he was mocking her or whatever joke went flying over her head. She didn't like it one bit.

"Was there a white looking rose on the can?" Jessica's face pinched to the right side as her mind concentrated on recalling if she ever focused on the imagery on the beer cans. But alas, her memory had not failed her and in fact she had!

"Yes…" Jessica admitted with a hint of a begrudging tone.

"That's my mom's non-alcoholic beer," Seth informed her while failing to maintain a neutral face. His enjoyment in Leah tricking Jessica once again was enough to set off Jessica as she roared, "LEAH!" when recalling all the pointless calories and carbs she just consumed that evening.

Jessica chugged the rest of the beer in her hand in four gulps before shoving the bottle back into Seth's freehand and taking off sprinting to find Leah. She was going to have a few choice words with her "new" friend.

…

Well in the end when she gave up on finding Leah on the moonlit beach, Jessica was lucky it was only ONE beer that she had consumed. Given the fact she only had eaten ice cream today, the alcohol immediately began to take affect. Pumping through her veins, swirling to her head and causing mischief. The buzz wouldn't last long, but she was going to enjoy the hell out of her loosened senses and remember she was still on spring break. She was basking in the glow of the bonfire, surrounded by strangers when she spotted Seth across the dying flames of the fire. The light flickered on his handsome face as their eyes locked and his wide, dimple smile was kind of her undoing as she marveled that she had no impulse to avoid him. She just wanted to be closer to him. Perhaps trace the lining of his abs with her fingers and do a body shot off him. It would have to be a tequila shot so she could sneak a lime into his mouth and steal that kiss.

Ugh.

Here she was. Ignoring all the signs and pep talks she had given herself prior and crawling back to Seth like an addict. She was ashamed of herself for having no will power to stay away. She was hooked in by his pretty boy smile and laid-back personality. He was interfering with her happiness. In a good way though! He was skyrocketing it off the charts and into the stratosphere. She couldn't disregard how he made her feel, especially when alcohol was forcing her to be honest. She hated the thought of looking weak. So, she put up a strong front like she wasn't a pathetic junky crawling back for more Seth Clearwater as she watched him walk around the fire toward her.

"We should kiss." Okay, she was bullshitting even herself. She never could put up a strong front when alcohol was involved as Jessica let her buzz take the lead with her words.

Seth's mouth fell ajar. Jessica knew he didn't see that coming because she hadn't either.

"But you said you wanted to be friends?" Seth spoke his words cautiously, as if he was trying to make sense of what she had just said. Jessica didn't get the vibe he objected, he just seemed confused. Hell, she was too.

"We can't be friends."

"Why not?" Jessica was surprised by the hurt reflecting in Seth's dark eyes in the fire light.

"Because I am leaving and never coming back when the break is over. So, you should just be my "spring fling" over spring break. Isn't that what you want? A fun time with a college chick to tell your friends about?" Jessica's words were light and airy with no real harm meant. She was just giving into lust's temptation to maybe to scratch that itch that was Seth Clearwater and then have him off her mind forever.

"He could bang any girl he wants here, so don't think you're too special, sweetheart. Seth here is no virgin."

Jessica's facial features tightened upon reviewing the annoying presence of the same girl who stole Seth for volleyball earlier. A forced laugh echoed from her mouth. She wasn't in high school. She was a fucking college senior. She didn't need this drama. So, she turned on her heel and walked towards her car as sobriety came crashing over her relentlessly.

Jessica persisted on to her car despite Seth now walking alongside her. She didn't need an escort. She shouldn't have even tried being nicer earlier and offered him a hall pass for making it to third base with her before she left. How utterly ridiculous she felt.

"Why did you walk away?" Seth's question irritated her enough to stop dead in her tracks and ask him what the hell he meant by asking that.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Jessica's words were walking on a tight line. One wrong motion and her fury would be released as she struggled to not let it consume her.

"Don't you get it? You're nicer than you think you are. You could have torn her apart and me with some ugly words which I know you are capable of. But you walked away-"

"Because I don't need that drama!"

"Or because you don't give yourself enough credit that you know when to walk away versus picking a fight. But some things are worth fighting for. Which is why I am right here saying I don't want to be your "spring fling"." Passion or maybe even possibly rage was brewing in Seth's dark orbs as his stared at Jessica. "I want more. And if you need us to be friends before you're ready, then I can wait. But I won't settle for less than what you or I deserve."

Feeling utterly present in this moment with rational concerns and worries temporarily melted away, Jessica hurled herself onto Seth's body. She wrapped her arms around his muscular back wondering if he challenged her perception of what letting someone in could do for her. Because never in her life had she ever had someone who wanted to fight for her. Her.

Not her mother or father. Not her ex-best friend Lauren or Mike Newton.

Before Seth's arms could react to return her embrace, she raised up on her tip-toes and kissed Seth on the cheek. Just above his right dimple. When she landed back on her heels, the heat of the moment dissipated; her cheeks flushed a violent red as she backed away saying she needed to go home.

"I see plenty of good things in you, Jessica Stanley. I just wish you could see them yourself." Seth bestowed her with a charming smile while he waved and let her go. She hated to admit she wished he begged her to stay like she was dying to.

…

Once the glamour effect that is Seth Clearwater wore off, Jessica shrieked in her car as she was driving back to Forks. What on earth had come over her? She had made a complete fool of herself three times over if not more that evening.

Jessica couldn't stand self-pity. Yet there she was, driving back from La Push surrounded by a plume of it. She was changing. All by her damn self! Yet Seth Clearwater forced her take a harder, deeper look within herself. It wasn't fair. She liked the pace she had previously set for herself.

Jessica slammed the heel of her hands on the steering wheel in frustration. "No! I will not let a man, no boy, affect me. I am a strong, independent woman. I fix myself. I save myself. I fight for myself. Because that's the only person you can rely on in the end. I will not lean on support from someone else!"

Her head was spinning. She regretted what she had just done when caught up in her goodbye with Seth. He had just said all the right things and supposedly saw the good in her. And all the excitement of seeing herself in a new light and Seth seeing it too somehow drove her to do the stupidest thing. She kissed Seth. And she couldn't blame it on the alcohol because that sly bitch Leah had been serving her non-alcoholic beer since she arrived on the beach and the buzz of that one beer had worn off by that point.

Oh geez, what had she gotten mixed up in. Why was it that she found Seth so off-limits? Was it really about his age or her needing to change? Or was she so afraid of a good thing that she rather never to know how good she could have it before it was snatched away? Let's face it, guys like Seth normally don't go for girls like Jessica. Correction, they did but they shouldn't. He pointed out she had good in her. She knew this. She was making the changes to herself he was so fond over. But…what if she didn't make enough to keep him around? Or what if he decided she was a lost cause? Couldn't someone just like her for her as she cleaned up her act?

Yeah, she could be bossy, chatty, pessimistic, stubborn, moody and irrational at times. But she could also be determined, loyal (if they were worthy- none were so far), hardworking, courageous and…emotional. Well, when the timing was right. Jessica wasn't really a crier, but she had feelings. She wasn't a fricken robot. She just didn't know how to communicate them well and was often too scared to share the truth. Especially when it came to expressing positive feelings.

With Seth she felt like even if her better qualities shined through, if her more ugly ones did as well, he could take them. But she didn't need someone to walk all over or just see better in her. She also needed someone to call her out when she was being a brat or a bitch. Seth just seemed too nice of a guy to be able to step up to the plate.

Odd timing, but her cellphone began to ring as soon as she parked in front of her mother's apartment. The number was from an unknown caller. Wondering if it could be him, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Tomorrow night, we are hanging out." She was right. The husky voice on the phone belonged to the boy she just couldn't get out of her mind. "You said I could take you somewhere fun on the beach and that never happened."

"Do I have a choice?"

"You do not." Jessica bit her lip against the temptation to smile.

"Well… if my hand is forced."

"It is." She could just hear the grin in his voice.

"You're on."

Sneak preview for Part X:

"Why do you think you like me? Real reasons." Jessica was blunt but it was necessary as her own feelings started to develop for Seth. She had to know why. Because she couldn't find anything in the moments they spent together that told her "this, this is where he knew he started liking you". She had done nothing in her own humble opinion to spark this crazy firey need Seth had to pursue her.

And when Seth struggled to answer right away, Jessica's stomach dropped knowing nothing good could be coming from this sign.

Author's Note:

Sorry for the delayed update! I was struggling what to do for this part. But taking a step back helped re-inspire. Not sure how much longer until the end? Maybe like a few more parts and then that's it? Well, I will just go with the flow.

Also, I feel like Jessica is all over the place this chapter with her thoughts on Seth and why she likes him or isn't supposed to. It is chaotic and inconsistent and that's because I feel she is trying to do everything to convince herself/have reasons tp push him away. If you found inconsistencies or it to be too confusing, let me know. With feedback, I can always re-edit this chapter. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed

Response to review:

Cassy-Kay: Thank you! :D