Jessica Stanley, GOAT

Part X

It was Thursday night.

And it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of romantic clichés, it was the age of knowing love never lasts, it was the epoch of change, it was the epoch of stagnation, it was the season of curiosity, it was the season of indifference, it was the spring of-

Well, nonetheless, Jessica could admit her life was not as dreadful as an actual Charles Dicken's novel. She smoothed a stray strand of her hair back into place into the single braid trailing her shoulder. Next for the zillionth time she readjusted the placement of the hat on her head.

Seth would be picking her up soon. At her mother's apartment. He hadn't asked why she had a change of address from the last time he picked her up and while that was a relief at the time when they talked on the phone, it mildly irked her he wasn't more curious.

Jessica jerked away from her vanity assessment in the bathroom mirror when she heard knocking. Seth was early. And while she was pleased, she wasn't going to just show up to the door. He said he would pick her up at seven, Jessica checked her cell phone screen, and he was five minutes early. Thus, he would wait. Because Jessica would have the upper hand in this love excursion/tryst/adventure that would most likely crash and burn when she left Sunday morning. She was pragmatic. But until that time, she would enjoy the time with Seth she got.

But on her terms.

Not his.

Because not all is fair in love and war. And whoever invests less also gets hurt less.

When the five agonizingly slow minutes had passed, Jessica downplayed her giddiness to open the door to greet Seth. Who was there, patiently waiting (yup- like a dog. Totally a dog person.) for her arrival. When Seth omitted saying anything about his five-minute wait, Jessica's right eyebrow quirked up in curiosity before she greeted him for the evening.

"Sorry I had to make you wait. Girl things," Jessica insisted while offering a casual shrug before turning around to lock the front door to the apartment.

"I didn't mind waiting. I knew you were coming." Jessica's hand froze while in mid-turn of twisting the key in the lock. Sometimes Seth's blind faith in her was downright scary. She could have never come to the door. And god, what if he just stood there waiting the entire night? Who on earth breeds good men like this? How had no girl done him so dirty yet that he was jaded to be a brute to women and just view them as objects to have fun with? Geez, she didn't want to ruin such a pure soul.

Alas, once again, a tug-a-war began in Jessica's mind if she was doing right by Seth by even allowing herself to go out with him. She didn't want to do him any permanent damage with all his tenacious efforts to date her. But…the real question was why? What was it about her that struck his fancy that allowed him to have this burning desire to relentlessly pursue her? That was her mission for the night. His answer would be the tie breaker for the tug-a-war that she was now putting on hold. And until that answer was known, she needed to be nice.

Really nice.

…

Jessica pushed the tip of her cap up ever so slightly while she craned her head back up to look at the night sky. Her hands reached behind her back on the blanket to support herself. She withheld releasing a sigh because the date cleverly masked as a "hang out" had been…fucking wonderful. Seth had whisked her away to the cliffs in La Push for a picnic dinner and to star gaze when night fell. Who goes through so much effort? He pointed out constellations, not effortlessly though. But like he studied this for hours beforehand to impress her. And she knew he actually made the food because it had the boyish charm of poor presentation but tasting rather delicious.

Why did he want to impress her? Why was he sincere and so attentive to her? Why did he find her sarcasm funny and dish it back as well every now and then? Why did he let her ramble on when silence held too long between them? It was if he was trying to be what she needed.

But she didn't need anyone to do that.

Sure, she was looking at herself a little more positively in the last 24-hours. She had some pretty decent attributes she should let shine more.

She didn't need some guy to mold to her. To be what she needed. She got that from herself. Rely on yourself and you will never be disappointed, was an infamous motto of hers.

If life said "hey, you have to have a soulmate!" She would respond, "duh. Already met her," referring to herself of course.

Jessica's left eye subtly shifted to gage Seth's expression while he prattled on about what they were looking at. He was cheesin. Hard. Massive, 100-megawatt smile adorning his handsome mug as he delighted in sharing his knowledge of what they were looking at.

However, Jessica's recent spiral into another self-evaluation removed the white flag of the tug-a-war from earlier, and before things got ugly, she blurted out, "why do you think you like me? Real reasons."

Jessica was blunt but it was necessary as her own feelings started to develop for Seth. She had to know why. Because she couldn't find anything in the moments they spent together that told her "this, this is where he knew he started liking you". She had done nothing in her own humble opinion to spark this crazy, fiery need Seth had to pursue her.

And when Seth struggled to answer right away, Jessica's stomach dropped knowing nothing good could be coming from this sign.

As if sensing her fear, Seth covered her left hand with his own.

"Real reasons?" He parroted back while entwining his fingers between Jessica's.

"Real." Jessica wanted to reclaim her hand from Seth's while expecting the worst. And what would that be? Well, she didn't know. But she just wanted him to rip it off like a band aid if there wasn't much for him to say. And good lord if he spouted it was love at first sight, she would possibly gouge out his eyes because that is some unrealistic dumb bullshit.

Her father said that about her mother. So double HA about that being real. If anyone ever believed in that nonsensical concept, it was because the realities of life and hardships hadn't slapped them in the face.

Seth squeezed her hand once before he opened his mouth, "Jessica-

Author's Note: Oh snap, what is Seth going to say? :O Sorry kinda an evil way to leave off the chapter but..so sometimes life goes ;)

I can't take credit for second paragraph, if it sounds familiar to you it's because I took liberties with the opening paragraph from "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens :) lol

Response to reviews:

Cassy-Kay: Seth did a-okay but his real challenge is now ahead of him hahaha

Marianka: Reading each of your reviews on each chapter of this story made me really happy ^_^ Thanks for sharing your thoughts after each chapter and making my day! If I can figure out more to the story then I originally planned, there should be more chapters to come in the long run! :)