"Mama, are you awake now, I missed you while I was sleeping. I had a silly dream and you were in it. I came to see you are you happy?"Evian calls snuggling in close to me. I open my eyes to see him lying on his side, his favorite toy held in his hands.
Evian smiles when he sees I'm awake, his little fangs just visible. To a mother, seeing your child so happy to see you, even if's just the first time they see you in the morning after a night of sleep, is heartwarming. I always feel loved when my children greet me this way. I return the smile and reach out to stroke his hair, he giggles.
"Mama, guess what!" He cries excitedly.
"What?" I reply still not fully awake.
"You have to guess, that is a happy game, do you want to play it with me?"How do I tell my eldest son it's too early for games when he's smiling this way and looking at mt so hopefully?
"Did your father finally give in and fix the building across the yard?" Evian shakes his head.
"Try again Mama, this is fun. I like playing with you. Do you like to play with me?"
"Yes, I love spending time with my little Evian." I reply as his grin widens.
"This is such a happy thing, you are the best happy thing ever. I am happy that you are my mama, it is good to have a good mama. You make us feel happy all the time!"
"You and your siblings make me happy, I'm happy to be your mother. " I can never say it enough, I feel as if I have to say it as often as I can, especially after the start we had. Evian says he knows I want him and love him, but I can't completely get over my guilt. It's so hard for me to think that I could be so cold to someone who is so precious to me.
"What else do you guess Mama?"He asks excitedly.
"Did Angelina and Kathryn eat all the chocolate?"
"No."
"Then it must be that Vincent, Rachel and Rowan were-"Evian laughed.
"no, no Mama. I will tell you. I had a happy dream!" he announced moving closer to me. "Can I tell you?"
"Of course you can. You can tell me anything."
"Even if it is not 'portant?"
"Evian, anything you want to tell me is important to me."
"Anything...even if it is a dream or about silly things?"
"Yes, even then. If it's important to you I'll listen as best I can." I could see tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong Evian?"
"I am so happy. My mama will always listen to me, even silly things. This is a happy thing Mama, you are so good. I am happy to have my Mama." He sniffles. I hold him tight.
"Of course I'll listen, you're my little one and I love you very much."
"I love you too Mama. I had a dream that we were playing outside with the puppy and you cuddled me and baby Angel gave us hugs and was not unhappy and Baby Kathryn was petting the puppy and Brother Vincent and Sister Rachel were running and running very fast and Dad could not catch them. Brother Rowan was eating some cake and he shared. We had fun. Can we please go outside today and play,can we bring Mey-Rin, Finny,Bard, Tanaka and Cousin Lizzy with us?" I sighed, being the mother I have become, I could only give one answer.
"I think that's a good idea, What's your father doing?"
"He is getting ready to see grandfather, he wants to play a game with dad because they do not spend lots of time together. Will dad play when he is done?"
"Can you go tell your father to come here?"Evian nods and rushes off allowing me time to sit up and stretch before Sebastian get here.
"Is everything alright?" I hear him ask as he enters.
"It's fine, come here." I call softly and he walks over to kneel in front of me.
"You wanted to see me love, what do you need?"I smile faintly as I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder, he holds me close.
"Can you do something for me today?"I ask.
"Just tell ,me what you need and I shall see to it." He replied I can hear the curiosity in his voice.
"It's nice outside today, I'd like for us as a family to go out and play this afternoon or early evening to give you time with your father. Will you do that for us?"
"I would do anything at all for you and our children. I will return to you in enough time to have some family activities. I promise. Our family is precious to me and I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you have given me this opportunity. "
"You don't need to tell me, you look after them and love them. You're a great father." I tell him as he begins to nuzzle me gently. I don't tell him this, but I enjoy nuzzling quite a lot. I suppose it's because when he does nuzzle me, it's something that's reserved only for me. This is his special way of saying he loves me. It's impossible to think that he doesn't genuinely love me when he does it. I can be insecure sometimes and I nuzzling helps.
When Sebastian leaves, it's up to me to feed our children. He's already seen to it that I've eaten. I make my way down to the kitchen where I find Mey-Rin setting the table for the children.
"Good morning young Master." She greets me with a smile. A lot can be said about my servants, they tend to ruin or break everything they come in contact with, they're terribly incompetent and drive us all up the wall...but they're the most loyal and genuinely loving staff I've ever known. They don't look after my family because they have to, they do it because they want to I'll always be grateful to them for what they've done. I love them as if they were part of my family..no, not as if they were, they are my family.
I'm thankful to Sebastian as well, he brought them back to me, I know it wasn't an easy decision for him, but he did it so that I would be happy, he's always doing everything he can to keep me and the children in good spirits. It's funny how Sebastian's always going on about how much of a monster he is, I can't see a monster being so gentle and loving, no matter what form he may take, Sebastian is still the same. We all love him for it. He acts scary to keep the servants in line, but I think they're growing on him.
After greeting Mey-Rin as I do each morning, Finny brings in the vases with the white and pink roses. He sets them in their places at the table and turns to me.
"Morning young master." He says cheerfully.
"Morning Finny,." I say.
"I've already started my chores and I should be finished with the courtyard this afternoon." He says proudly.
"Good. Keep going, try not to kill the grass this time."I say with a faint smile. Poor Finny, Sebastian's been getting frustrated with him lately, last time Finny went into a panic after he and Pluto destroyed the garden. Sebastian doesn't know about it, he rarely goes there. I'm not sure what it is, but I am very protective of them. I know they can look after themselves but finny seems to bring out my maternal instinct a bit more than the others.
I fill the feeding glasses quickly just in time as my four eldest children rush in.
"Hello again Mama, we are here,can we please eat?"Evian asks, the children surround me, their tiny arms grab onto me and I return the hug.
"Go on, breakfast's ready for you. I want you to sit down at the table and eat, I still have to make bottles for Kathryn and Angelina." I explain, the children do as I ask and take their seats. They look to their glasses and smile, sitting still.
"Thank you for feeding us, our little tummies are never hungry for a long time. You are a happy thing and we like to be your babies. Our hearts are so happy to have you and our tummies are happy to have yummy things. Thank you very much, we love you!" The children say in unison. I don't know what started that but it seems to have become an everyday occurrence. They do something similar at bedtime when both Sebastian and I tuck them in. They like to thank both of us for protecting and loving them as we do.
"I want you to finish breakfast and go get dressed for the day, once you've done that, I need you to get some of your outside toys and put them next to the courtyard door. " Their grins widen and they giggle.
"We can go out to play today, brothers, this is good. Mommy is going to take us to play!" Rachel cries causing my sons to cheer.
"This will be so happy, Sister Rachel, will you play racing with me?" Vincent asks hopefully, Rachel nodded.
"Oh yes Brother, I will play. I will. Can I win please?" Vincent smiled.
"Okay Sister, you can be the winner. I will let you."He replied, the boys love making their sisters happy.
"That;s not exactly how it works, you have to race to see who wins, not let the other person win." I tell them finishing the bottles.
By mid afternoon, Sebastian came home and everyone, including Lizzy and the staff went outside, Alois stopped by and let Lenora and Luca play with the children. He, Sebastian, Vincent and Rachel had decided to race across the courtyard. As usual, Rachel won every time.
"You won again, that isn't very fair." Alois whined playfully., he crossed his arms, Rachel did the same.
"It is so fair Cousin Alois, I am a little Rachel, I am allowed to win if I want to." My daughter protested.
"I want a turn to win."He continued to tease.
"No, no. you cannot win. I already won. I will tell my mommy." Alois chuckled.
"I'm not afraid of your mother."Rachel narrowed her eyes at him and I moved closer.
"You should be, my mommy can beat you up all by himself and you will cry lots and lots."
"You think so?" He pressed.
"Yes, my mommy is better than your mommy!" Rachel stomped her foot, leaving Alois in a state of shock.
"Rachel Ann, that's not a nice thing to say. Be nice to Alois,tell him you're sorry, you wouldn't like someone saying that to you would you?" Rachel shook her head as I spoke.
"I would tell my brothers...they would beat them up." Alois smirked.
"It's alright Rachel, I know, it's so easy to see that we both have a high opinion of our mothers. Let's just agree that you love your mother very much and I love Hannah the same alright?" Rachel hesitated then smiled.
"Okay. It is good to love your mommy. I will be nice." I shake my head in amusement.
Soon, I find myself playing catch with Evian, Rowan and Lizzy while Angelina and Kathryn nap peacefully in their cradles under the tree with Finny and Cynna standing by.
"This is happy, look at us, we are all together and we are playing this is good!" Vincent cried out as he ran past , Sebastian followed seconds later.
"you cannot get me dad." I hear him say.
"We'll see Vincent, it's only a matter of time." Sebastian responds catching him off guard , lifting him up and tickling him. Vincent giggled and squirmed in Sebastian's arms. It wasn't long before Pluto realized we were all enjoying ourselves and came to join us causing more laughter from the children.
I feel little arms around me suddenly and look down to see Evian.
"Thank you Mama, you are good. You are so nice to play games with us and feed us and give us love. Can we come out and see the pretty stars and moon later?"
"We'll see Evian." I kiss his head. I know that when night falls and the stars and moon come out to add their soft candlelight beams to the beautiful, calming darkness, I'll be lying in the courtyard on a large blanket looking toward the sky with my children and Sebastian beside me.
My children are growing, soon, they won't want to spend this time with us, but I do hope that when the day comes, when they're finding their own way in the world, Sebastian and I have given them enough fond memories to look back on and know how much we love them and of course that if they ever run into any trouble, I would be more than happy to welcome them all back home.