A lot can be said for my children. They're so young and yet they really appreciate all they have. Sebastian says they seem more human than demon most of the time and he imagines that they take after me, though Rowan, Vincent, Rachel, Angelina and Kathryn resemble him in appearance.
During a visit, my parents confirmed this to a degree.
Such as when I'm not feeling well or upset, the children take it upon themselves to show me exactly what I do for them. At least according to their views.
"No Brother Vincent, I had the puppy first, you can have him later, do not take him away from me!" I hear Rachel shriek one dreary, rainy afternoon. I had been resting on the sofa when they began to fight, I had been in pain for days. During my pregnancy with Vincent and Rachel the two were quite...active. Since then, when the rain comes, I sometimes have pain where my ribs had been broken. I of course never told them what happened, I refuse to be like the mothers I've met here who tell their children of the pain they suffered during and after the birth. My children didn't do anything to hurt me purposely and I can't hold them accountable for my decision to bring them into the world. Why upset them by telling them about something they couldn't control?
They are after all gifts and very much wanted and loved.
I sit up slowly, careful not to show my pain too much, I like to protect them from it. Sebastian tells me I don't have to hide the fact that I hurt, but I refuse to upset my little ones and frightening them isn't something I find to be within the 'good mothering' standard I hope to follow.
"What on Earth are you two on about?" I ask sternly as I notice Pluto's massive head coming into the window, Rachel stood on one side while Vincent glared at her from the other, Pluto whimpered pitifully.
"Mommy, I am happy you are here, Brother Vincent is being so mean to me, he wants to have puppy all by himself. Puppy came in to play with me. He was giving me kissy and then Brother Vincent came and took the Kissy away and I love my puppy so much, it is not nice and it hurts my tiny Rachel heart so much it is all broken now." She places a tiny clawed hand to her chest as tears begin to fall.
"But Mommy, Sister Rachel had Puppy all day yesterday, I want him too. I like Puppy kisses. Cousin Lizzy said it is okay to like it. Dad does not like the puppy but I love him. When is my turn?"He crosses his arms angrily and sniffles. I sigh.
"Vincent, Rachel, Pluto loves both of you very much and his tongue is probably big enough to give both of you kisses at once. I need you to share him and be nice to each other. I won't have the fighting. Anyway, with the rain coming again, Pluto probably won't be out long, he'll want to be in his own house that your father and Cynna made him when he came to live with us." I explain calmly.
"Oh but Mommy, we do not want our puppy to go. I want him forever. Do you not know that we love our big puppy, he is bigger than my daddy." Rachel sobbed.
"I understand, I know you both love Pluto, so do I but it's best if he's dry and warm. I want you both to apologize to each other and to Pluto for upsetting him." I say hoping to teach them their lesson. I watch them turn to each other.
"I am so sorry Sister, I was not a nice brother to you. I hope you still love me. I will be a happy thing for you." He reaches out to his sister. She hesitates before allowing him to hug her.
"Brother Vincent, you are so mean to me some times, I do not like that. I want to have a nice brother, like brother Evian. Please be a nice twin brother to me. I am sorry for being a bad Sister Rachel to you and not letting you have my puppy. I still love you. Do not worry." They turn to Pluto who seems confused.
"We are so sorry for making you sad Puppy, thank you for coming to be a happy thing and play. We love you so much. Do you still love us too?" As if to answer them, Pluto barks excitedly and licks them both. Soon my eldest set of twins are giggling and playing peacefully, allowing me to return to the sofa.
I sit down carefully and lean back. It's not long before I'm disturbed once more by Rowan and Evian, who seem to be having an argument of their own. This time poor Lizzy is with them trying to figure out what was happening. I groan in both frustration and pain as I once again push myself from my seat, this time traveling into the parlor.
"It's my turn now, give it to me, and give Lovey back you meanie head!"Rowan shouts, I;m shocked to find Evian holding the bear out of Rowan's grasp.
"Evian Michael, give the bear back to your brother and both of you come to me." I order, Lizzy seems at a loss. Even my little Evian has his days. I do my best to ignore the sharp ache. Evian looks at me with his head slightly tilted.
"Mama, are you okay?" He asks softly handing the bear back to Rowan, who holds it tight as he stands in front of me.
"I'm fine, the problem is that the two of you were fighting and I need to know what's going on." I tell them.
"My poor Mama, you are not feeling good today, I will be nice. You should sit down." Evian says gently.
"Evian, that's not the point, I want you to listen to me, you and Rowan both know that your father and I-" I stop to prevent them from hearing the pain I feel.
"Ciel, what's wrong?"Lizzy is obviously worried about me and the children seem alarmed. I silently curse myself for my failure to hide it.
"Would you mind taking the boys up to their rooms, They can come back when they're called for."
"Of course, come on Rowan and Evian, listen to your mother." she ushers them up the stairs leaving me to hope Vincent and Rachel don't run into me until the discomfort passes. I'm thankful that Sebastian's taken Angelina and Kathryn with him to see his family. I stand still for just a moment before deciding that the pain will be with me a while and I've no choice but to deal with it and get some work done.
I had just begun to pick up some of their toys and jackets, a task that wasn't easy at all in the moment, when I heard Rachel behind me.
"Mommy, are you sad with us?" she asked in her tiny voice.
"No Princess, everything is alright now." I promised. She wasted no time in coming to join me, She picked up her tiger and surprised me by taking me by my hand and leading me back to the sofa.
"Come on Mommy, you should sit down so you will feel better, I will take care of you."
"I'm fine, you don't need to-"
"I will show you what a good mommy you are. This is what you do for us when we are feeling yucky, You can stay here, I will pick up all the toys. I even did a good thing mommy, I told Mey-Rin to help. She is cleaning up the sitting room and Finny is helping. I asked Cynna to please make tea so you can be happy. He said he will bring you some. I know my daddy does it but he is not at home now." She explains, placing the tiger beside me with a smile.
"Rachel, I'm not feeling -"
"It is okay mommy, you are a happy Mommy to have and I am a good Rachel. You do not have to keep me safe from it. I think sometimes it is hard to be a mommy with babies. But you do a good job and I am a proud of you Rachel. You even take good care of us when you are not happy. We do not mean to make you unhappy. We are your tiny babies, we love you."
"I love you too Rachel, but really you-"
"hush now mommy, I will pretend to be mommy so you can see. Is that okay?" I admit that I was curious to see what my daughter's perception of me was.
"Just for a little while." I replied, noticing her grin widening.
"Yay, you can be baby mommy. I will show you and it will be happy." She giggled and then moved closer to me, climbing up n the sofa and pressing her hand to my forehead.
"You are not warm baby mommy, but I know you feel icky, Do not worry baby, I will cuddle you until you get better." She said before doing just that. I will have to talk to daddy about taking you to the healer for medicine for your owie. I will make you all better." She climbed down and began to pace the floor, her hands pressed against her cheeks, much to my confusion.
"Oh no, poor baby mommy, he is not feeling good. I am so sad, I love baby mommy very much. Maybe I am not a good mommy because baby mommy is not feeling well. Oh no." She said pretending to be upset. She stopped suddenly.
"I know what to do, I do not know that I know but I will do it anyway." She rushed back to me.
"Are you warm enough baby, I will bring you my blanky and pillows, it will be okay. I will be back, I promise, I will not go away forever." She ran off leaving me intrigued by her performance. Moments later, she reappeared with her brothers and Lizzy, she did in fact bring me a blanket and two pillows.
"This is so adorable, Rachel told us about what she was doing, this is so sweet." Lizzy cooed.
"Cousin Lizzy, you can be a baby too. Brothers, you are the brothers." she announced. Before anything else could happen, Cynna arrived with the tea.
"By request from Miss Rachel." He said handing me a white teacup decorated with a red heart on the side.
"I picked the cup all by myself, just for you. Hearts mean love and that is very good because I love my mommy!" She said. I couldn't help but smile. I thanked Cynna and turned my attention to Rachel.
"I love you too. Thank you, this was very thoughtful." I said stroking her hair lovingly. She giggled.
"You are welcome, do you see mommy, you are such a happy thing to us. Cousin Lizzy you are a baby too so you have to sit down because you are big and babies are not." She instructed. Lizzy chuckled and sat down on the floor next to her.
"Now what should I do mommy Rachel?" Lizzy asked, Rachel thought for a moment then responded.
"You sit there and play while I make baby mommy feel better, be nice with each other or I will tell daddy." Lizzy and I exchange glances and it's clear we have the same idea.
"I want the tiger!: Lizzy cries doing her best to sound argumentative. I playfully narrow my eyes to glare at her.
"Mine!" I yell back.
:But I want it!"
"No, I had it first, it's my toy!"
"No no babies, that is not nice, you are not sharing, and baby mommy has an owie so he get to have a tiger." Rachel said firmly.
Lizzy pretends to cry.
"Don't be sad eh...baby cousin Lizzy, I'll share Lovely with you." Rowan hands her his bear and she smiles. The children giggle as Lizzy cuddles Lovey and I pretend the tiger is dancing. When Sebastian comes home, he walks into the game and is understandably confused by the greeting.
"What are all of you doing?" He asks putting Angelina and Kathryn down on the floor in front of their siblings.
"Oh Daddy, I am showing my mommy that he is a good mommy. He is my baby and I am a mommy that acts like he does. Cousin Lizzy is my baby too. Mommy is not feeling good, he has an owie. We were not nice babies today but he loves us anyway." He turns to me.
"You're in pain Love?"
"Some." I say, he kisses me and whispers in my ear.
"Is it your ribs again?" it doesn't surprise me that he's already figured it out. I nod.
"I'll be back with you shortly." he promises and makes his way down the hall.
"Sisters, Brothers, I want to play, can I please be Grandfather?" Evian asks and they agree. I can hardly wait to see this.
"I will be dad." Vincent said excitedly. Evian stands as straight as he can and walks up to his brother,
"S'bastian, you are my son. I am a king and someday when you are old like me, you will be king too."Evian does his best to copy his grandfather's deep voice.
"Yay, I will be a king and play with my mate and babies all day and you will not be allowed because you are too old and cranky." Evian gasps.
"You are not nice, you have to go to your room because I am king and I said to. I am big and scary so you have to listen to me." We all laugh, and I regret it as it triggers the aching. It doesn't take long for Sebastian to return just as 'the king' is sentencing 'Sebastian' to live with Pluto for the rest of his life.
"Goodness, I didn't realize Father could be so harsh." My Sebastian says playfully. I see he's carrying a towel.
"What's that for?" I gesture to the object in his hands.
"A heat source will help with your pain. I thought perhaps you could use on about now." He lays it gently over my sore spot and I begin to feel better, relaxing more into the pillows.
"Mommy is good at taking care of us, but Daddy is good at taking care of mommy." Rachel exclaimed.
"So Ciel, have you learned your lesson from watching our daughter's portrayal of you?" Sebastian sat down on the floor in front of me.
"Well, if somehow I'm half the mother Rachel thinks I am, I must be a damn good mother after all."
"Indeed you are an amazing mother, no one else could ever do a better job. Not many would deal with such recurring pain and suffer in silence to protect their children, fewer still would have gone through the events that brought n this pain. I love you so much."
"I love you too. I couldn't have gotten through that event if I hadn't had you with me." Sebastian begins to nuzzle me.
"I know one, I'll be red man. Come on brother Vincent you are dad. Sebastian and I can't resist watching as Rowan runs in a circle.
"oh no, oh no. don't kick my face, oh no!" he cries in mock terror.
"Yes, I will kick your face, I am a demon and you are not nice!"Vincent replies and Rowan turns to face him.
"Then I will beat you up!" Both boys begin their 'fight' and it isn't long until they knock each other down and complain of their heads hurting. Rachel rushes over before Sebastian and I can move and shakes her head disapprovingly.
"You should not be running, you will be hurt lots." She sighs. " I will take care of you because a mommy's work is never done."