Chapter 8

This is what comes of being an idiot, Loki sighed mentally as he made his way through the frozen scrubland. I've left the only warm place on the planet, I've lost my mount, I have no idea where I am, and I'm going to be an ice sculpture by tomorrow. Wonderful.

He and Noekta had made good time on their way to the Bifrost, or at least, that was where he'd thought they were going. Loki was just beginning to realize that it was taking far too long to get there and that nothing looked familiar when Noekta spooked at something, reared, and threw him. He landed in a heap in a scrubby bush and sat up just in time to see Noekta gallop off. He tried retracing their steps, but wind had erased any marks of their passing, and now he was beginning to be worried. Sometimes during the day Jotunheim could be pleasant with sunshine, but it was dark now and only growing colder, and the wind was not helping. He'd tried shifting to Jotun, but it had worked for only a second or two and he couldn't get the change to stick.

He was in trouble. If he managed to find his way to either the Bifrost or the palace, he was going to be in hot water with either Laufey and Farbauti or Odin and Frigga, but either way, he was not going to be welcomed back with open arms by anyone. He'd be lucky if either Farbauti and/or Frigga let him live for pulling such a boneheaded and childish stunt. It would be one thing to go for a late-night ride on Asgard, where he was familiar with the terrain and climate, but on Jotunheim, where he'd only been around the palace and in the town, it had been downright foolhardy.

Perhaps everyone would feel merciful to his corpse and provide it a nice funeral. If he was lucky. A fine ending for his first Sun Festival, wasn't it? If he lived, then he owed Laufey and Farbauti the biggest apology in all the realms.

Loki trudged along, his cloak and arms wrapped as tight around himself as they would go. Despite all the fur and fleece he was wearing, he felt like a walking block of ice. He couldn't feel his feet or hands or face, and the rest of him was cold enough to hurt. He looked around for shelter, but he was stuck with nothing but scrubby trees and bushes and occasionally a jagged spire of ice-covered stone. Perhaps he could use some bushes and create a lean-to against a spire? If the wind quit blowing long enough, he might be able to light a fire and keep himself warm until the morning.

An over-powering gamey smell hit him then and he froze in his tracks. What was that? More importantly, was it hungry? He shifted around, revolving on the spot, trying to see what it was. He couldn't see anything in the dark but he kept looking, hoping he would see what it...was that a growl?

Prey runs, he reminded himself. Prey runs, and you don't want to run and become prey. Perhaps he could scare...whatever it was...away. Would a fire illusion do the trick?

A loud whistle pierced the air then, sending him to his knees. He clapped his hands over his ears and groaned in pain just as a cloaked figure rushed out of the brush to his left and hurried off towards his right. Something hidden in the scrub that way yowled in pain and he heard rustling and crunching as the thing ran for its life.

"Are you all right, youngster?"

Loki almost didn't hear the question due to the ringing in his ears, but he looked up and spotted the cloaked figure that had saved him. "Ahhh, yes. I'm fine."

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"I got lost."

Hands reached up to remove the hood and he found himself staring at a kindly old woman. She smiled at him. "Well, you're not lost anymore. My home isn't far from here. Come on."

Loki got to his feet and brushed himself off. "That thing...thank you for saving me. What was it?"

"Mountaincat," she explained, turning and leading the way through the scrub. "They hate loud and high-pitched noises. They don't usually come down this far, but they must have scented a veho."

Loki's throat clenched. "Noekta! My veho, I was riding and she spooked and threw me…"

"Ten to one she's outrun them." The old woman didn't seem concerned. "Mountaincats are fast for short distances, but vehos are just as fast, and they have better endurance. I wouldn't worry."

Loki followed the old woman around some bushes, stumbled, righted himself and sighed. "I'm sorry, but may I know your name, please?"

"Ahna. And yours?"

"Loki."

She turned and looked at him. "Ah, I see. So you're the prince who was lost for so long."

"I was living on Asgard." He didn't know why he felt the need to explain.

"If you were on Asgard, how did you come here?"

"It's a long story."

"Best told when we're both inside and warm," she stated as they came over a rise. Down below them in a hollow was a snug little cottage, and she made for it. "I think there's a hot drink in our future."

It wasn't long before they were inside the house. It was a long cottage with stone walls and a thatched roof. There was a fireplace at the end opposite the door and a loft up above. Heavy furniture carved with different animals and filled with old cushions gave the place a lived-in feel, and Loki could feel himself relaxing. He and Thor often went to a tavern in town back on Asgard, and for some reason, this cottage reminded him of that place. It spoke to him of good times, good friends, and hours spent together with someone you trusted.

It made him feel oddly homesick. Damn.

Ahna showed him where to hang his cloak and where to store his boots and she ushered him over to the fire to get warm. Once he was installed in a chair, it hit him. The furniture, the house...Ahna was his size! "Ahna, I just realized. You're like me!"

She smiled at him. "Took you long enough, youngster."

"What's the word for what we are?" For some reason, he suddenly wanted to know it.

"We are lalta," she said as she bustled around the fireplace, making tea, sweetening it, and then handing him a large mug. "Careful, it's hot. Sip it slowly."

Loki sipped at the tea while she stirred a pot hanging over the fire. Savory smells of meat and vegetables wafted out and made his mouth water. "So, what is a lalta?"

"A lalta is a living blessing," she explained. "To have one born in your family is a great honor; a sign of favor from the Great Ones. The lalta were sent to us to remind us how to live and what to value."

Loki blinked. "That sounds like a lot to live up to."

She grinned at him. "It can be, but oddly enough, it's an easier job than you think. In the old days, when a lalta was born, he or she was often taken to live in a temple rather than remain at home. Once at the temple, they would spend hours every day in a single sanctuary room hearing the prayers and petitions of the people. After a few hundred years fewer and fewer lalta were born, so the people prayed to the gods and asked why the living blessings were leaving them. The Great Ones answered that they wished to send no more lalta to a place that isolated them from life and living things, so it was decreed that no lalta would ever be placed in a temple again unless he or she wished to be there. People decided to keep them home with their families and let them grow up as they would, and since then, they've been born every four generations or so. You and I are very special since we were born only a generation apart."

This was more information than he'd managed to get from Laufey and Farbauti on the subject. "I see. Thank you. Did people ever try to protect you too much?"

"Every day of my life, and I had to learn how to stand up for myself," she said, settling back into her chair. "Once people realized that I wasn't made of stardust, then things got better for me."

"How did you convince them?"

"I did everything they told me not to do. I climbed trees, climbed rocks, ran as fast and as far as I could, rode as many veho as I could...I was a very active child. My father was a worried wreck whenever I was awake and outside, but strangely enough, my mother was on my side and tried to get my father to relax. Eventually, it worked."

Loki laughed and shared Farbauti's reaction to the climbing tree with her.

"She sounds just like my father!" Ahna chuckled. "You'll have to remind your family that you're a young man, and not a child, but I'm sure you can do it. So, how did you come to leave Asgard and return to Jotunheim?"

Loki told her all that had happened: Going to Jotunheim to fight, meeting Laufey, being taken to the palace, the meeting with Odin and Frigga, the truth coming out, and then the decision that Loki would stay on Jotunheim for a year and get to know his birth family. Once he started talking, though, he couldn't stop. He told her about all of his misgivings, his worries, his feelings of being out-of-place on Jotunheim, and his behavior at the party that evening and what he had done. After all this time on Jotunheim, it was a relief to confide in someone.

"I don't blame you for leaving," Ahna said when he ran out of steam. "You could have handled it a little better, but after all the feelings you've been keeping bottled up and carrying around, how you acted doesn't surprise me."

"I don't know what to do," he confessed, distracted only momentarily by her rising from her seat and dishing up two bowls of whatever was in the pot. "I just want to go back to Asgard and have everything be like it was, but I know it will never be that way again."

"You're right," Ahna said, handing him a bowl of stew. "So, what can you do about your situation?"

Loki stirred his stew and thought about it. "I guess I'll have to apologize."

"Mmm-hmm."

Loki took a cautious taste of his stew and smiled. While it was spicy, it wasn't overpowering, and the flavor was wonderful! "How does one apologize here? Are there any specific things I have to do in order to apologize?"

"Saying that you're sorry is a good way to start. Start by apologizing to your parents, and if they insist on it, apologize to those two idiots who got their comeuppance early."

Loki swallowed his present mouthful and coughed. "I'll keep that in mind if I have to apologize to them."

Her head snapped up like a bloodhound catching a scent. "How long have you been coughing, child?"

"I...think that's the first time. Why?"

"It sounds like you're getting the low fever. Is your throat sore? Head hurt?"

The words were like a curse. "Umm…"

Ahna began darting around the cottage, fetching dried herbs from the roof beams overhead, collecting different jars, and then carrying the lot to the fireplace. There, she brewed another tea and added enough honey to make the tea more like a syrup. "Here. Drink this."

Loki set aside his stew and took the cup with some trepidation. "What is it?"

"It will keep the fever from hitting you too badly, so drink it quickly. Hurry up."

It was sickly-sweet and bitter, but he managed to get it down his throat. Another few bites of stew and the rest of his tea made the taste go away and he felt much better. Then he coughed again. "How fast does this stuff work?"

"It's never fast enough. You should be in bed. Come on."

She was right. She pulled a trundle bed from underneath her bed and rolled it in front of the fire for him, and soon he was dressed in an old linen shirt of her father's and tucked into bed. He was fabulously warm and he drifted off quickly, but soon he was woken by pain in his joints, a throat on fire, and his head pounding like a drum. Every time he coughed he felt as if his head were breaking apart, and it was hard for him to focus his thoughts on any one thing. His mind kept drifting and it was starting to frighten him.

"Good I got that medicine down you," Ahna said at one point. "This would be a lot worse if you hadn't swallowed it."

Loki groaned. "How long will this last?"

"The worst of it will last about three days or so," she said, putting a cool compress on his forehead. "After that, you'll spend a few weeks in bed, and you'll be weak for a few weeks after that, and then you'll start to recover."

Thinking about how long he would feel poorly made him feel even worse, and he pushed the thought away. A coughing fit followed, one so long and so bad that he felt pains in his chest, and he began to be afraid. "Is there any danger of me dying?"

"Deaths from low fever are rare, and they usually follow not getting the right medicines or care. Those are two marks in your favor right there since you've had medicine and you're being cared for, so don't worry, all right?"

It seemed he had to be content with that. Ahna sat by his bed and hummed under her breath as she wound wool into a ball, and he found the movements and humming soothing. He fell asleep again and he half-woke when there was a knock on the door. He heard Ahna's voice and a male's voice, and then he could sense someone leaning over his bed. Feeling as if he were swimming up from the depths of sleep, Loki opened his eyes. Laufey. "Hello," Loki croaked.

Laufey picked him up from the bed and held him. "Hello, son."

Loki could remember Odin doing the same thing when he'd been smaller, and there was the same feeling of safety and love in Laufey's arms that there had been in Odin's. How odd. He coughed and leaned against Laufey's chest, too sick and too tired to care who was holding him. He didn't want to move from where he was for the rest of his existence, he was warm and comfortable and...he jerked a little more awake.

"...and I got the medicine down him at the first cough," Ahna was saying. "He's been coughing a little in his sleep, but it's not been too bad."

"Thank you so much, grandmother," Laufey said. "I am so thankful you found him."

"No thanks are needed, Your Majesty. I would be pleased if I could visit him once he's better."

"You would be more than welcome."

Loki drifted off again for a few moments and then opened his eyes just as he heard the door open. Laufey carried him outside into the gray dawnlight. He was wrapped in Laufey's cloak, still being carried by Laufey, and he felt rather as if he were in a dream. He saw a squad of palace guards and vehos, and then someone took him from Laufey while Laufey got into the saddle. He was returned to Laufey's arms and then the next thing he knew, they were riding at a walk across the plains outside the city. He closed his eyes, and then they were riding through the main square. He closed his eyes again, and they were at the palace gates. It was funny how time was playing tricks on him.

"Welcome back, sire," a stablehand said, trotting up to take Laufey's reins. "I see you found him!"

"Yes, but he's caught the low fever," Laufey told him. "He'll be a miserable little prince for a while, but hopefully not too long."

"Hopefully not," the stablehand echoed. "You go ahead; I'll take care of your mount."

"Thank you." He felt Laufey dismount and then he felt movement as Laufey carried him across the courtyard and inside. When he next opened his eyes Laufey was heading up the stairs with him, and then through the family sitting room and into...oh, good. Laufey was putting him into bed. Perfect. Just what he wanted.

What followed after that were some of the most miserable days of his life. He was either freezing or burning up with fever, he coughed so much that he didn't want to eat or drink, and even when he slept, it was not well or for very long. He was not aware of much outside himself, but he did catch glimpses of Helbindi, Bylestir, Laufey, and Farbauti, and from time to time, the Jotun who bandaged his injured hand when he'd first arrived. He was given medicine-it tasted too bad and too sickly-sweet to be anything but medicine-and broth and tea to drink from time to time, but he spent most of his time asleep. He dreamed of home, and of Jotunheim, and he dreamed of his family and his Jotun family. He dreamed about all the things he'd been through and all that had happened to him lately, and finally, at long last, he woke up.

He could remember a few times in his lifetime that he'd been really ill. There had been the spotted fever when he'd been small, an infected wound when he'd been twelve, swamp fever when he'd been fifteen...he felt the same way now that he had after those illnesses. He was so tired from being ill that he had no choice but to rest, and the weakness that had followed those illnesses had ensured that he'd done just that. He was sure that he'd be doing a lot of resting in the coming days…

"Loki?"

Farbauti? Had she been by his side this whole time? He shifted a little and then noticed his surroundings for the first time. The bed was smaller than the bed in his room, and it was enclosed by curtains, and the thing that surprised him the most were the wooden guards on either side, effectively closing all sides of the bed. What..?

The curtains were pulled aside, revealing Farbauti, who smiled at him. "I thought I heard you wake up. How do you feel?"

Loki swallowed against a dry throat and croaked. "Tired. What happened? Sick?"

"For a while," she told him, hooking the nearest curtains back. "It's easier on your head if there isn't too much light. Thirsty?"

He nodded rather than speak, and she fetched him a cup of water. "Slowly, now," she cautioned him as she felt his head for fever. She gave him a relieved smile and smoothed back his hair. "Looks like you're over the worst of it. Are you hungry?"

The thought of food was almost nauseating, and he shook his head.

"You've not eaten since last night. I think it would be good for you if you tried at least a little broth and bread. Just a few mouthfuls."

"All right, then," he croaked. He could see he wasn't about to get any peace on the matter if he didn't do as she asked.

A servant brought a tray a few minutes later and Farbauti helped him sit up, propped him up with pillows before spooning up a bit of the broth and holding it out to him.

He stared at the spoon. "I can feed myself."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure about that?"

He lifted an arm to take the spoon but he had to drop it to the bedspread almost immediately. "Not anymore."

"The fever you had weakens whomever it hits," she explained as he swallowed the spoonful of broth with her help. "You're going to feel very weak for a while."

"I think I recall Ahna explaining it at some point. She offered me shelter when she found me. When did I get here?"

"The morning following the ball," Farbauti said, soaking a piece of bread in the broth for him. "Try this, now."

He managed half the bowl of broth and almost all of the bread by the time he couldn't swallow anymore. Farbauti settled him back against the pillows and pulled the blankets up to his chin. "I'm glad you're better. Most of us have this as children. For some reason, the illness is harder to get through if you're older, so it's no surprise it's hit you so hard. You've been four days in and out of fever. You've lost a lot of weight and most likely a lot of strength, and it will take you a while to recover."

Loki nodded. "Ahna told me. About...about when I left…"

She smoothed the covers for him. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did to those men, and I shouldn't have run off like I did. On Asgard, it wouldn't have been a big deal, leaving home at night, but here, it was a stupid move."

She nodded. "A very stupid move. If a mountain cat had gotten you, we might have found your bones, but little else, especially during this season. We'll talk about it more once your father finishes his duties for the day, but I, for one, am glad that you're home and that you're all right."

Relief flooded through him. She wasn't angry. "How are Helbindi and Bylestir?"

"They're doing their best to hover over you without appearing to hover," she said, smiling. "I had to actually order them outside so I wouldn't trip over them every time I left the room. They were worried about you, too."

Loki looked around then. The room looked familiar… "Where are we?"

"This is mine and your father's room," she said, lifting the lower curtains away for a minute so he could see. "Every time one of our children was ill growing up, we always had that bed brought in so we could keep an eye on them. Your father asked the bed be brought in as soon as he rode into the gates. More than one footman fell over his own feet to help, and plenty of the maids fought over who would fetch the bed linens. You've become very popular in your time here, Loki."

"Have you told them I'm all right?"

"Not yet, but I will."

Laufey came in then, and he gave a relieved smile when he saw Loki awake. "Thank goodness. You getting through the worst of this illness seemed to be taking forever. How do you feel?"

"Like a veho kicked me," Loki said honestly. "So, I feel better."

Laufey chuckled and joined Farbauti at his bedside. He paused when Farbauti kissed him and then whispered something into his ear. "Glad to hear it. Your mother says that you've something to say."

Loki found himself apologizing yet again for his behavior, but he stopped, confused when Laufey started chuckling again. "What's so funny?"

"You were babbling apologies when your fever was at its worst," Laufey explained. "Apology accepted, though. Your mother and I do need to talk to you, however."

Loki's worry ratcheted up a few notches. "What about?"

"Your punishment for acting in such a boneheaded and dangerous manner," Laufey said, becoming serious. "You not only risked your own life, but you risked those of the people who searched for you. The area where you were is not safe at night. Do you understand?"

Loki felt his stomach drop. "I...thought I was heading toward the Bifrost."

"That's not an excuse, Loki. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "Yes. How are people punished here?" He prayed it wouldn't be anything too bad or difficult. Please, please don't let it involve a bow across my back.

"Stop frightening him, dear."

Laufey fixed his wife with a look. "He frightened me."

"Is this the start of the punishment?" Loki asked to break the standoff between the two of them.

That made them both smile. "On Jotunheim, usually when a child runs away from home, people view that as the child not getting enough attention from his parents," Farbauti told him after a moment.

"So, the way the parents punish a runaway child is by giving the child a lot of attention and spending time with him," Laufey continued. "And before you say that it sounds more like a reward for running away, trust me when I say that it isn't."

Loki thought fast. "Spending time with you doesn't sound like a punishment."

He could see Laufey soften a little in response to that statement, but Farbauti wasn't fooled. "You say that now, Loki, but just give it time. You'll see."

"So, what can I expect?"

"You'll be sleeping in here for the next few weeks."

Wait a moment...He wasn't allowed to sleep in his own room? He wouldn't even get any privacy at all? "Um...I will?"

"Oh, yes. You'll be recuperating, of course, but even after you're able to move back to your room, you'll stay here. If I'm not with you, then your father will be. If you go outside, then the both of us will go with you, and if one of us is not able to go, then you'll have to wait until we can both go. You'll have one of us with you while you're resting, while you're at lessons, and so on."

Loki looked from Laufey to Farbauti and back again, feeling like a man who's suddenly discovered that he's standing on quicksand.

"I think he's caught on, dear," Farbauti said with again.

"What about when I need to take a bath?"

Laufey started roaring with laughter when Farbauti blushed. "He's got you there, my lady!"

Farbauti gave her husband a light smack on the arm. "Well, I certainly won't be accompanying you there, Loki. Your father can go with you if you feel the need for company."

That gave Loki pause and then he realized just what she'd said. "Oh, good." It looked like he would have privacy when it absolutely mattered.

A knock on the door brought them all out of their thoughts, and the door opened to reveal Helbindi and Bylestir.

"Hey, he's awake!" Bylestir cheered as soon as he saw Loki's eyes open. "How do you feel?"

"Like a wrung-out sponge, but that's an improvement," Loki answered. "Good to see the both of you."

"It's good to see you, too. You had us worried, brother!"

Both of them, so gracefully that it was a pleasure to watch, jumped and landed on his bed, carefully squishing him. He yelled and kicked, tugged on their hair, and ended up laughing. "GET OFF!"

"You deserved it," Helbindi told him with a grin, messing up his hair while Bylestir whacked him with a pillow. "You had us worried sick, so take your punishment, little big brother!"

Loki howled with laughter and they only stopped their rough-housing when Laufey and Farbauti called a halt to it.

"Got a surprise for you," Helbindi said once they'd removed themselves from Loki's bed.

"Uh-oh."

"It's nothing bad!" Bylestir promised. "In fact, I think what's in this saddlebag will make you very, very happy."

"As long as it's not something with slime and beady eyes, I'll be happy," Loki stated as they handed him the bag. He opened it and looked inside and felt a grin form on his face.

Letters.

"Some silly clunch at the Bifrost didn't think to send them on," Helbindi said with a chuckle. "When we rode out there the other night looking for you, we found those letters waiting. Thought it would do you good to get them now."

Loki could have hugged the both of them. "Thank you."