Rose's POV
"Go take a shower and get some rest, we'll talk tomorrow. No visitors until we've spoken." That's what Hans had said. Screw him. Ambrose promised he would get word to my friends.
I don't know what happened to me in the last two weeks, or at least Hans said I'd been missing for that long. I had no idea where I was for that lost time period or how I got back to Court. What I did know was that I felt like I had just come out of the movie Deliverance and I needed my friends with me more than ever. Just to see them and know that they're okay, for them to make me feel okay.
New voices appeared outside my door. One of the voices was female, a voice I would remember anywhere, even with a door muffling her words. Finally. Lissa was so close that it hurt. The bond told me that she was anxious and excited. Surely Christian would be with her, quite possibly Adrian too. My mom would likely come later, if she was even at Court anymore. I wondered if Dimitri had heard of my return, if he wanted to see me. When would Mason and Eddie come?
Mikhail's tone became curt and defensive, I moved close to the door to hear what he was saying. "... anyone to cause her more pain. I was there the night she visited you in your cell, it's no wonder she ran away." He must be talking to Dimitri. Ran away? I didn't run away... I tried to speak, my sore throat only produced a cough though. I tried again, getting a weak excuse of a voice to work, "It's okay Mikhail, I appreciate the concern but I asked for him to be here, too."
I couldn't see any of their faces, and I'm not even sure they could hear me. Damn walls. The doorknob turned and the dark wood flung open. I saw Lissa for less than two seconds before my eyes watered and clouded my vision.
"Rose!" Lissa cried and ran over to me. I think she wanted to collapse in my arms, but I was weak and collapsed onto her on impact, so we ended up in a really awkward hug with our knees bent, like a weird crouch. Now I was full out sobbing into Lissa's shoulder, damn emotions. Lissa was crying too, smoothing my hair down. "Oh God, Rose. What happened to you?" This doesn't feel right, I should be comforting her. We stayed like that for what felt like an hour, a cough from behind Lissa made her release me.
As soon as I was standing straight I was swept up by a pair of thin arms. Christian! His hug was surprisingly tight and made my bruises and cuts hurt. Instead of complaining, I laughed, "It's good to see you too, Sparky!" Christian put me down gently and patted my shoulder, "You look like hell. Where did you even go?" He tried to come off as nonchalant but I could sense his concern. His question made me uneasy. "Let's get to those topics after I've had some sleep," I say, knowing full well that the topic could result in a day long conversation, with more questions than answers. He nodded and had the decency to look a little ashamed of asking me in the first place. Lissa tugged on his arm to pull him away from me.
At first I just thought that she wanted to give me space, but then I remembered what - who - made Mikhail upset. Dimitri. There he was. He looked so much more human than the nightmares, so much more alive. This is the Dimitri I know, the Dimitri who the Strigoi had tried to take away from me. His face hardened as he looked me over and studied all of my cuts and bruises and dried blood. I surprised us both by running forward and throwing myself into his embrace. When his arms caught me, his lips grazed my temple. Was he going in for a kiss? No. He wouldn't, not after what he said in the church. Right?
Whether or not he was going to kiss me, he held me tight. Though his muscles tensed around me he seemed to relax more. His tight hug felt far more comfortable than Christian's. I had forgotten about Dimitri's ability to balance his strength with gentleness. "I'm glad you're back. You should never have left," he murmured softly. Why does everyone keep saying that I ran away?
Against my own instinct and desires, I pulled away from Dimitri and glared at him. Love fades, mine has. First he pushes me away, now he wants to patronize me? He wasn't going to get away with that.
Lissa was suddenly behind me, tugging on my elbow. I should have noticed her coming up behind me, I was quickly losing my Rose Hathaway kick ass guardian skills. She led me to the bed in the large suite, sitting me down. She perched next to me and wrapped one arm around me. "Rose you look so…" Lissa bit her lip, unsure how to finish her sentence. "You look like a sack of crap that's been used as a punching bag," Christian said easily. Lissa glared at him but didn't correct him.
I hadn't looked in the mirror tonight but I knew I felt pretty close to that description. Mikhail did a good job with the first aid, despite that I knew there was some mystery gunk in my hair and under my nails and all over my clothes that scarily resembled dried blood, too much blood for it to belong to only me. I literally have blood on my hands, but whose? I shrugged, "I said I would talk more later, there's a lot I don't even know and it's just going to give me a headache now."
Lissa rubbed soothing circles on my back. I looked up at her, her beautiful features always reminded me of an angel. Right now I felt like she was my own guardian angel. That thought both comforted me and made my stomach twist. I don't need protecting. They come first. I had to look away from her or I'd start crying again. I moved my gaze over to Dimitri, who was staring at my neck where my hair had fallen behind my shoulder. The murderous look in his eyes made me curious, I touched the place where he was looking.
I felt more of what I suspected to be blood, but this blood was mine. My fingers ran over many small puncture marks, too many to count. My eyes widened in shock, I immediately moved my hair to cover it, hoping Lissa and Christian hadn't seen. My shock quickly turned into confusion and anger. I don't remember being bitten… recently. And who the hell had the right to bite me that many times?! I had a sick feeling that the culprit wasn't Adrian, or any Moroi for that matter. I looked back to Dimitri, he was already watching me, still looking pissed off and terrifying.
"Do you need anything? Do you think you can take a shower on your own? I should bring you something to eat. When's the last time you ate? Do you want me to stay with you tonight? We could order Chinese food, my treat," Lissa rambled, making me smile. She got anxious when she was worried about me, I'd seen this happen after particularly brutal training sessions that left a physical mark. I would normally refuse her help, but I wanted to keep her close to me right now, so I let this time be the exception. "I'm tired but I don't want to sleep. I can take a shower on my own, thanks," I laughed at her doe eyed expression, "I would like shrimp fried rice and orange chicken. We can watch something on Netflix before going to bed."
Lissa smiled, I could almost see the halo around her golden hair. Christian pouted, "Sure, just disclude the guys, no really! It's okay. We don't mind." He put up his hands to mock defensiveness, making both Lissa and I laugh. "You guys can stay too, I could use the company," I offered. This surprised Christian and Dimitri, usually I wasn't this nice and amiable, but I really did want their company. I didn't trust the direction of my thoughts if I were left alone tonight.
Dimitri agreed to stay for a while, which honestly surprised me. I was utterly confused by him and frankly I felt a little awkward being around him, even though I was thankful for his presence tonight. What would Adrian say? That doesn't matter, I'm not cheating. Christian shrugged and threw himself into one of the chairs, simultaneously kicking off his shoes, "I guess I could stay," he sighed as if I had just asked him for an inconvenient favor. "I have to make sure you don't put any moves on my girl. She's a sucker for the vulnerable ones," Christian pointed at me, his smile telling me it was all a joke. But.
"I am not vulnerable," I hissed, all the lighthearted feelings in the room evaporated with the heat coming off of me.
Lissa touched my shoulder, "But you're weak. Let me heal you." Memories of darkness and madness clouded my thoughts. "No." I shot up from the bed and made my way to the bathroom, "I'll be in the shower, go ahead and pick a movie." I slammed the door behind me and made sure to lock it. I avoided making eye contact with the mirror as I turned the shower knob as far as it would go. I stripped off the smelly, dirty, bloody and torn clothes. The clothes were so gross that I considered throwing them in the steaming shower to squash the stench, but the clothes might have important evidence on them. Hopefully I wasn't about to wash any evidence off of my body.
The steam beckoned to me, but before I could get behind the curtain my curiosity won out and I looked to see what was so startling to everyone else. I didn't recognize myself, not in the slightest form. The Rose I knew had dark brown hair. This girl had clumpy red and black splotches for hair. The Rose I knew had a full figure from working out and eating plenty. This girl was lighter and dark circles under her eyes indicated that she was malnourished. The Rose I knew had exotic desert princess features like naturally tanned skin. Yet who I saw before me had red and black and purple skin, and underneath all that she was as pale as a ghost. This girl wasn't Rose. She wasn't me.
You're not going to be the infamous Rosemarie Hathaway that plagues Strigoi when I'm done with you. You'll be nothing, and when I give you back to the Moroi, they won't even want you. There wasn't a face to go with the sinister words, only chalk white lips and sharp fangs. Those words were from some sort of nightmare. I didn't even notice I was trembling until my hands gripped the porcelain sink to keep me upright.
Showers are the amazing and undiscovered sixth element of magic. I took my own sweet time, I think Lissa and the guys finished a full movie before I got out. I used an entire bottle of mint and lilac shampoo and half a bottle of conditioner to get all the grime and blood out of my hair. I used almost all of the body wash and a full bar of soap to scrub every inch of my body until I felt clean again. The hot water helped to ease some of the soreness in my muscles. I also cried for a long time, letting my tears mix with the running water, and after I had no more tears left in me I felt like I could breathe easier.
It's too bad you can't wash away the circles under your eyes, or the thoughts that put them there.
Lissa came through with my food request, making my love her even more. I didn't even know how ravenous I felt until the smell of rice and chicken hit me. Having a full stomach really makes a difference. So does wearing clean clothes. Here's some advice if you're having a shitty day: take a long shower, put on clean and comfortable clothes and eat something that doesn't come in a cardboard box.
Dimitri excused himself almost immediately after we finished our food, and Christian left shortly after. My exhaustion was catching up to me, at this point Lissa insisted that we get some sleep. Lissa and I were under the covers and talking in the dark, just like our sleepovers had always been, only the subject material had changed considerably. Boys just weren't worth whispering about in the dark anymore. This time we talked about vampires and nightmares and demons that were all too real.
What would I see when I closed my eyes?
My dreams were just about to take a turn for the worse with Dimitri (because wasn't it always Dimitri who haunted my dreams?) when a knock on the door woke me. It took me a few moments to get my bearings, for my mind had to catch up with yesterday's events. My memories began the moment I crossed the border for the invisible wards of the royal court.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I made my way to the door, only sparing a glance for Lissa sleeping peacefully in my bed, the bond told me she was having happy dreams, or at least dreams much more pleasant than mine. I spared a second of thought for Adrian, why didn't he visit me?
"Eddie, hey," I smiled. Mikhail wasn't here anymore. Eddie took me by surprise and bear hugged me, "Holy shit, Rose. I should be so angry with you right now, after what you said in that letter to Lissa. But Hans just told me about the note that was sent to the queen and I have no idea what's going on. I knew you couldn't just run away. You look terrible, I'm glad you're not dead." I hugged Eddie back, happy enough to see him. He must be the new guard posted outside my door. Was Hans only allowing my friends near me? Maybe Mason would take the next watch. Eddie released me, giving me a small smile.
"What do you mean, Eddie? What note did the queen get?" I asked, hoping to fill in one of the many blanks in my head. Eddie pursed his lips, "Well, that's why I'm here. The queen has requested your presence immediately in the throne room. She has questions." Ugh, doesn't everyone have questions? And I was already dealing with Hans, did I really have to deal with that sanctimonious bitch, too?
"Alright," I groaned, "let me get dressed."