Will to Live

9.

BEFORE:

As I unlocked the door I immediately let out a curse. "Shit." It was followed by me pulling the drenched man inside my house along with his blonde friend who was smiling.

"What the hell happened?" I sighed as I took to sitting on the coffee table, mirroring Emilie from a few days ago.

I wasn't going to move until they told me the truth. Sam had been very tight lipped before and I understood why but at the same time I didn't expect him to turn up like this; beaten up with one arm in a sling.

NOW:

While I was more or less fuming physically at the sight of the two super heroes looking very rough around the edges, I was also pretty thankful that they were alive. Sam seemed to have gotten the worse end of it. He had his eyes closed – one of which was shut nearly entirely – for the briefest of moments before sensing that Steve was looking at him, silently asking him a question which he only answered with a short wave of the hand that wasn't restricted.

He did give me a small smile before he resumed his resting position.

"So…" Steve started. I could tell that he wasn't normally used to discussing things like this unless in an official capacity. I vaguely had seen clips of him addressing soldiers from in the 40s. Somehow that sure posture was lost to a man who looked both awkward and plain exhausted.

"Let me help you out. The Avengers went somewhere off planet to fight those creatures that had ambushed the party a few weeks ago. Only now coming back and turning up like this."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. It doesn't always go like this."

Sam opened his eyes at the blatant lie and was practically glaring at his friend. "You know you don't have to sugarcoat it."

"I hate liars." I quipped, letting out a deep sigh trying not to get more upset at Steve. He wasn't the bad guy. Neither of them were. They just happened to cause others to feel the weight of worrying over them constantly. "Just be straight with me. I don't want to try to understand the alien things. I'm not too concerned with that. But, I just want to try to find a reason to rationalize this. You're kind of a mess. Did you even get any medical attention before coming here?"

Sam had an amused pull to his mouth. "Emilie wouldn't do much more than put my arm in this until we came to see you. Said something about it being better than a phone call."

I had to keep my face straight. I could feel myself growing red from another reason than me being annoyed at them. "Well, she's not wrong."

"I'll call her after we finish hashing this out. I'm not great at the whole patching people up thing. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Sam shifted a little. "The short version is that things got out of hand quickly. There were more of them than there were of us, including the friends of Thor's that were almost as intense as him in battle. First time meeting them, they're something."

"You met Sif? Lady Sif, I mean?" I tried to brush it off as if it was nothing but she was one of those people that I had seen and immediately wanted to know more about.

Sam let out laugh. It dampened because of how jerky he got. "Yes," Steve said in reply as I got up to go get some water for Sam. "I was surprised that she liked me."

"Why? Doesn't everyone like Captain America?" I called, as I decided to grab one for Steve too.

"You flatter me, Bee. There are plenty of people who hate both the Avengers, and just me personally." Steve returned once she had retook her place across from them. They both thanked her as she placed the two cool bottles of water in their hands.

"I don't see anything wrong with you guys. Not your fault people keep attacking and causing havoc…everywhere."

"You have a point." Steve conceded. "It's not that simple for everyone else. Anyways, we had to regroup pretty quickly. Sam here was sidelined for the brunt of the fight."

"About five came at me. The suit isn't equipped for that environment. Neither was I really which is why I'll say it again…I didn't want to go."

Steve seemed to get that. "Next time we have to cross dimensions or go to space for some reason I won't add you to the list or at the very least we'll talk about it extensively."

"Everyone was going man. What was I supposed to do?"

"Not go?" I sounded highly sarcastic and Sam noticed. He looked taken back. I hadn't really ever been that aggravated with him before but the way he was acting. "You always have a choice. If you ever feel like you don't then you should probably take a break from it."

"It's not exactly something you can step away from." Steve mumbled.

"Steve. You've been in this much longer than Sam has, it might be easy for you to say that given all that has happened to you but even still I think there is a choice. I mean I could be wrong. I don't know the first thing about that life – super heroes and all that - but I've had to make a hard choice concerning my safety before and it wasn't something easy by any means. But, I had to make the choice."

"What did you do?" Sam spoke up.

"I walked away." I paused a brief moment, I wasn't planning to go into it. It was something personal and I wasn't prepared to talk about it. "Sometimes it's the right thing to do for yourself. It's still your choice and that's all I'll say about that."

I could tell that Sam wanted to ask but he also knew that I wasn't one to just openly talk about things. I had nothing again Steve Rogers, in fact I liked him quite a lot. Today was not the day to talk about Jay and my escape from death.

"So what was the end result? Considering you were at least one man down and outnumbered?"

"We managed to fend them off until Loki go there."

"I thought…" I started.

Steve grimaced. "Yeah, well we needed his help and Thor vouched for him. As much as many of us wanted nothing to do with him he was true to his word and didn't do anything to harm any of us. He actually helped Wanda a lot."

"Wanda?" I couldn't remember meeting anyone named Wanda.

"Oh. You must have missed her. She newer to the team. From Slovakia. She had do things with her mind."

"Remind me not to cross her."

Sam chuckled. "She's a good kid. You'd probably like her."

We were all quiet for a little while. During this little lull I shot a text to Emilie. She responded quickly enough. 'Be there soon.'

"Are you hungry?" I wasn't sure what else I could do why we waited so if I could do something that focused less on the image of two beaten up men on my couch, I would.

"I could eat." Steve smiled.

As I got to my feet and started to head to the kitchen, Sam caught my wrist with his free hand. "You might want to make a lot. He eats like he's never eaten before."

"Oh c'mon Sam. It's not my fault." Steve sighed.

"It's fine. By the way Trinity should be coming soon so I would probably prepare him for that."

"Why do I need to be prepared?" Steve questioned as I continued on my journey back to the kitchen. I had Trinity go shopping for me a few days ago so I was pretty stocked to make anything. I made my way through the cabinets opening them up to see what I had. I didn't know when Emilie would get here. Soon was such a loose term.

Something quick would probably be my best bet. I spotted the cheese and the full loaf of bread. Maybe I could make some soup too. Wouldn't take long.

Despite my nearly healed injury I wasn't supposed to be doing anything that would injury me any further like cutting things. Knives were supposedly a no-no. I was fine with a knife though so I nearly entertained the idea before the doorbell rung while I was buttering up the pan to get started on the sandwiches.

"I got it." Steve said.

I expected to hear a scream or some kind of indication that Trinity was losing her mind at being met by Steve Rogers. Instead I couldn't hear much. They were talking in hushed tones. She didn't waste any time getting to me though to preserve her chill demeanor.

I nearly laughed as she turned me around and looked very alarmed. She opened her mouth to say something. "Did you say hello to Sam?" I asked her instead.

She doubled back out of the kitchen giving me a couple moments of peace. I heard her inquiring on what had happened to him. "You look worse than she did." I heard him chuckle. "I got hit pretty hard." "Seems like it. Well feel free to hang around."

"You realize this is my house, right?" I peeked out the door at Trinity.

She gave me a sheepish smile. "You're not going to send him home like that, right? He probably can't even walk or support himself in that condition."

I could heard Sam trying to argue you with that. "You know me so well." I was only being partially sarcastic, she had a point. I wasn't going to send him home. He could stay. I was cooking them a late dinner anyhow.

She continued to chat with the guys while I got to work in the kitchen. By the time the doorbell rang a second time and Emilie filtered in with another gruff sounding person (Bucky) I was just about done. I went to call Trinity in there to join me but she was already next to me.

It took me about a minute to realize that Bucky Barnes could be intimidating to others. When I had met him I hadn't felt threatened in the slightest. He had seemed like a different person than what the newspapers and newscasts made him out to be. When he was among friends – his girlfriend in particular – he was harmless.

"He isn't going to hurt you." I told her as I loaded up the ten grilled cheese sandwiches I had already made onto a platter. I had her stir the soup while I ducked out and placed the plate on the table. I got a hug from Emilie before telling her I would be back. I watched each of them grab a sandwich, even Emilie had managed to tuck one in between her teeth before she started working on Sam. It didn't seem like she was that concerned about Steve. I guess I got it. He would be fine in the long haul. Sam wasn't like them. He was normal.

"Get me a couple bowls. You'll have to help me bring them out. I only have two hands and one of which you keep staring at. My arm is fine." I told her hurriedly as I took the spoon for her so I could taste the red soup. It needed a little bit of a season. Not too much.

I let it bubble up a little bit longer before we begin ladling it into the bowls. When I came back out I had grabbed the other ten sandwiches and juggled two bowls in my hand. Trinity hadn't followed me but I suppose I didn't need her too, yet. Bucky had gotten him from his position on the arm of the sofa and had reached out to help me.

"Thanks." I told him. He passed the bowls out to Steve, placing one down next to Emilie either for her or Sam. Then he told me to sit and he would get the rest. I wanted to warn him that there was an unhinged woman in the kitchen but I didn't need to worry it seemed. Trinity soon came out with a soft smile on her face.

"He introduced himself." She said simply.

I had to try not to laugh as I moved to sit behind Emilie and took one of the sandwiches. Bucky came back out and handed me a bowl. I gave him a nod in appreciation before digging in myself. Trinity situated herself in front of me on the ground. There was surprisingly a lot of space. I typically wasn't around whenever mom had a lot of people in the house. I wasn't big on crowds.

This group of people felt different. I didn't feel nervous, not as much as usual. I felt pretty comfortable; which made it less awkward when there was a definite lull in conversation as everyone consumed the food I had made.

I could feel Emilie working on Sam from behind me but I didn't turn to see how that was going. From when she had helped me out the handful of times before it was clear that she was at least higher on the list of capable people to sort it out.

"How was work?" I decided to ask Trinity. We hadn't had a moment to play catch up for the night considering the interruption of super heroes.

"Actually there was a strange order that came in." She paused in putting the last bite of the sandwich she was eating in her mouth, the red liquid from the soup dripping from it as she poised it over the bowl.

"What do you mean?" I placed my bowl next to me in the empty space. It was kind of lucky that mom had kept this huge table. I would have thought it would have taken over the room but with the way things were set up it fit perfectly in the thick of the sofas and the recliner.

"It's a pickup order for the morning so we had to get it done tonight. It was carrot cake but with red icing and they asked for an extra piping bag of white frosting. Maybe they wanted to add something to it themselves. The red frosting is odd."

I had to agree with that.

"Where there any other odd instructions?"

"Yeah, technically I wasn't supposed to know about it but when the order gets picked up we're supposed to not notice. There's a specific time and everything. I inquired if maybe we should have a beat cop in there maybe in regular clothes just in case. He said not to worry."

Bucky who was obviously listening to the ordeal chimed from behind us. "It's sketchy as hell."

Trinity looked over at him and bit her lip. "Yeah, I know. We never get weird orders like that so there has to be something going on. Doesn't sound too good."

Bucky immediately turned to Emilie. It didn't take too long for me to realize that the two of them were planning something though they didn't exactly say what. Emilie merely nodded. "I have been craving something sweet."

Trinity for all her effort tried to get them to back out of whatever it was they were planning to do but Steve told her that they wouldn't interfere with the business. "You're not coming." Emilie immediately told him. He opened his mouth to retort but she shook her head almost like a scolding mother – I had to refrain from laughing at how much she reminded me of my own – "You just got back from another world and you look like shit. Not as shitty as Samuel here, but you still need to take it easy. He's gotten better at not drawing attention to himself. Plus, I'll be there. Nothing makes people uncomfortable like a very obvious couple in love."

She had him there. "Do you typically do negotiations?" I asked her with a grin on my face.

"No. I'm just good at getting my point across."

"It's scary." Trinity echoed. "In a very 'I really like you and want you as my friend not my enemy' sort of way."

"Thank you." She seemed to be just about done with Sam. I had avoided looking for fear of what I would see underneath. All things considered he didn't look as bad but he wouldn't be able to do any heavy lifting for a while. I didn't even know if he did weights. I knew he ran but even that might have to take some time. "All done."

It seemed that Bucky was about to say something but Sam must have known because he easily used his good arm to push him off the arm of the couch. "I swear I will actually hit you – I didn't say kill Steve – if you say whatever you're thinking right now."

It was at that moment that I realized that there was a tiny bit of animosity between the two of them. It wasn't lethal by any means but there was a bit of tension there. Perhaps Bucky liked to tease Sam. In this case he wasn't feeling up to dealing with it. That was warranted, I believed.

Instead of retorting Bucky grabbed the handful of dishes that had been emptied and headed to the kitchen. I decided to join him merely to ask him a question.

"He doesn't hate you, right?"

He jumped slightly but jostled to the side so that I could get to the sink when he realized it was me. He shook his head with a smile. "Not exactly. He's actually helped me a lot. It's surprising really considering I did try to kill him a few times when I wasn't Bucky."

"I've seen a few videos. You seem okay now and Sam has a habit from what I know of trying to help people when he can."

Bucky nodded. "It's why Steve likes him. He's loyal to the end and has gotten me out of several situations that concerned the other Avengers."

I could tell that he struggled with the others. They didn't appear to be as accepting of him. "Do you work with them?"

He shook his head. "I think it'll be awhile before that happens. Something big would have to happen, I do send information if I know something. It's the only thing I can do."

"I'm sorry." I offered, "I do know what that's like."

He hummed. He was looking at me as if trying to figure something out. He just nodded before giving me a short wave. "Thanks for dinner."

I could hear most of them getting up and moving around. It sounded like Steve was reluctant to leave Sam but both Bucky and Emilie were eager to get him out. When the dust settled he did offer me a goodbye in the kitchen before he headed out.

"Let me know if you need anything. I can come back…" He trailed off.

"Steve." Bucky called.

I smiled at him. "I will but I think I'll be fine. He probably just needs to rest."

He grinned before doubling back to go say bye to Sam. They seemed to be in a hushed conversation when Emilie slipped in to talk to me. "I gave him some ibuprofen. He should be okay for the night. You're okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Should be going back to work completely next week."

Emilie gave me a smile. She seemed amused. "Not what I meant. I sent him to you for a reason, ya know? I could take care of him if I wanted to. Hell, I'm taking my boyfriend's best friend home with us. One more wouldn't hurt."

I shook my head at her. "I know why. I just, it freaked me out. I asked him to let me know when he got back not get himself hurt and come here on a rainy night and nearly give me a heart attack."

"Welcome to the club, Bee. This is what I've been dealing with for a while now. Except Sam actually knows how to use a phone. Bucky often forgets."

"Hey." Bucky had just stepped in. He put his head on Emilie's shoulder, and gave her a hurtful look. It was a false expression but it made us both laugh.

"You know it's true, Barnes."

"It's not my fault I'm not from this decade. I'm used to just showing up places or writing letters."

Emilie tilted her head to look at him. It didn't take an idiot to tell how much what he said just made her feel more intently towards him. I just about pushed them out of the kitchen for being utterly adorable.

"Stop saying shit like that. We're in front of someone you know."

He smirked, "I know." He had the gall to wink at her.

"You guys are too much." I breathed. It wasn't exactly what I was going to say but it was close. I'd save it for another occasion. I'm sure they would do something that would make my filter disappear completely.

"We try." Bucky mumbled, before detaching himself from his girlfriend and stepping out of the room once more.

"Think of it as an opportunity. You don't really get to know someone more than when they need your help or are sick."

"I'm not sure that he does need me. It might just be the other way around."

"I don't think you give yourself much credit, Bee. Trust me. You count." She reached out patted my face. "Let me know if you need anything. We'll drop by after we go to the The Sweet Shack and give you an update. Probably bring some food so you don't have to be back in the kitchen again."

"You don't have to."

"That's what friends are for." She replied, simply before turning around swiftly. I followed her to the door.

I gave Steve a reassuring nod before he finally was ushered out the door by his two friends. I tried to laugh as I turned around. Sam was looking at me.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Hey, Bee. Sorry about this." He sighed as he tried to get up. He was almost worse than me.

"Get comfortable. You can stay there. It's a pretty comfortable couch actually. Mom knew how to pick good furniture."

He smiled. "Are you okay being in this place now?" He changed the subject.

"It's always been home. It's just her not being in it anymore that is hard." I wrung the towel that I nearly forgotten was in my hands

"Yeah. I remember after the incident with my parents. I couldn't be there but then again I didn't have a choice after a while. I was pretty young. Then I moved in with my family. Eventually moved here after my tours were over."

"Did you always want to come here?"

He shook his head. "I didn't have a lot of options really but D.C. had more opportunities than anywhere else. It's where I eventually got a job at the VA, set myself up pretty good."

I nodded, he had a nice house.

"Well D.C has always been home to me so I guess I didn't have much of a choice either."

"To echo your earlier sentiment, you always have a choice."

"You believe me?"

"Sure. You haven't given me any reason to doubt you thus far. You're pretty smart and you've obviously seen a lot." He stopped there, I bowed my head a little. "We don't have to talk about it. I'm already intruding enough as is."

I jerked my head up. "You're not. You put me up for a night once. It'd be silly if I didn't return the favor. You should try to get some sleep." I mumbled before crossing the room to get to the linen closet that was tucked right before the hallway that lead to the bedrooms started.

I helped him move over so that he could lay down completely. His legs just barely hug off the end of the couch but he didn't seem to mind.

"It is comfortable. Where did she find this?" He shifted a little.

"No idea. She was good at that sort of things."

"She was good at a lot, it seems."

"Yep." I echoed, as I unfolded the blanket to throw over him.

I got ready to go back to the kitchen where I could spy Trinity peeking when Sam called to me again. "Bee." He paused, waiting for me to move back over so that he could see me. His expression was hard to read but his words were absolute. "Thank you. I think she would have been proud of you."

"You didn't really know her."

"I think I have a good picture at this point." I smiled softly at him, before turning around and meeting Trinity and pulling her with me down the hall. I could do the dishes in the morning.

I love so many things about this chapter. Mostly the fact that I didn't even put what I planned to put in this chapter. It'll start off the next one. Somehow this one took a life of its own – actually that's what's been happening with every chapter since I began it. It's fun.

I'm loving this little family that's being developed. That BuckyEmi moment actually made me pause writing the end because I started laughing so hard. Little things like that jump on me and I'm just like 'can you two chill for a sec'. There will be more of them obviously. The thing that Bee refrained from saying will be used for a specific instance that I've had planned for a while. So yeah. There's that.

I'm just really happy with this. I hope you guys like it too. Also don't fret Bee/Sam will be main priority next time. Well and the side thing with the sketch baker order. I mean he's kind of at her place now, isn't he?

Can't wait to hear what you think!

much love,

day