Dimitri's POV

There was a circus of people in full swing when we arrived back at Court. The SUVs sped along at the great speed of 2 miles per hour as we drove through the crowds. My eyelids felt like they were made of lead as I fought to keep them open. I brushed stray hairs away from Rose's face to distract me from the people trying to peer into the car. She wouldn't look at me, doing her best to keep her emotions hidden from me. I had given up on trying to get her to talk to me. She wouldn't want to open up with the other men present.

I couldn't stop seeing Tasha fall at the hands of Rose. She wasn't to blame for Tasha's death, but I have to admit it would be hard to not think of Rose as Tasha's killer. She saved my sisters, and herself. We did what we had to for survival, Tasha was just a casualty of that. Another tear threatened to escape so I buried my face in Rose's neck, feigning a comforting gesture to her so I could cover my own emotional state.

I felt Rose's good hand smooth down my hair. I wanted to sleep like that, with Rose holding me. As crazy as it seemed, only Rose's company could stop me from having nightmares of what she did.

"Jonah, take me to the palace," Rose said suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I need to see Christian Ozera."

I looked up at her, "Are you sure, Roza? You don't have to do this." She nodded, still not looking directly at me, "The least he deserves is to hear it from me." I had no idea how Christian would react to losing Tasha. He was furious enough when she was jailed.

Jonah spoke into the radio to let the other SUVs know of the change in course. A voice I recognized as Hans' replied, "I'll meet you there. Should I bring a doctor for the Princess?" Jonah met Rose's eyes in the rearview mirror for confirmation. She shook her head.

"Yes," I stated, before Jonah could tell Hans no. "Let Hans know the princess requests a doctor." Rose shot me a look, the first time she willingly made eye contact with me since we got in the SUV. I reached over for her broken hand and she pulled away. I smirked at her, my point made. Rose's hard expression softened fractionally, not anywhere near a smile, but it was a start.

There were plenty of spectators waiting for Rose's arrival at the palace. I will never know how word spreads so fast around here, and those of us at the parking garage had no idea what the Moroi and dhampirs at Court knew about the events of today. The rumors would be worse than the truth, and nowhere near accurate, I'm sure.

Rose was still covered in blood, more so than the rest of us, so I ordered a security ring around her; six guardians surrounding the princess to block her from view as she exited the SUV and entered the palace.

We were met in a large hallway with parlor rooms and offices connected to it. Once inside, the ring around her loosened but stayed intact. Lissa was there with Christian, Hans and a doctor. Dr. Franke, nonetheless.

The Moroi all but panicked when they saw Rose. To a certain extent, she resembled herself after being returned to Court by Randall. Though this time she knew exactly what happened to her. There was no way she could forget today. Lissa bit down on her lip but knew better than to berate Rose with questions.

Everyone was silent, waiting for Rose. Her gaze remained on Christian for a long time while she tried to compose herself. "Christian… can we…?" She tilted her head to an open door. Christian's entire demeanor changed. He looked worried, he obviously didn't know about his aunt yet. Rose walked over to the open room and Christian followed. Lissa gave me a worried look, asking me silently if she should follow. I shook my head. Neither Rose nor Christian closed the door, but Rose was talking softly enough that we couldn't hear them.

I watched, wishing I could do more. Christian's worry for Rose quickly turned into apprehension. He started shaking his head, as if he were refusing to accept her words. I had to look away once Christian collapsed on Rose, crying out loud enough for the rest to hear. I fought the urge to close my eyes, I knew that the backs of my eyelids would sting with tears.

There was a loud smack noise that drew my attention back to the pair. The other guards were already closing in on them, I jumped to and joined the guards. I could feel Lissa following close behind. Rose was holding a hand to her cheek, Christian breathing heavily through sobs, his arm stretched across his chest from completing a swing. "Christian!" Lissa cried out, scolding him without knowing all the details.

The guards were all going for Christian, but Rose stepped in between us, holding up the hand that had been on her cheek. "It's okay. Forget that happened." Rose wasn't upset Christian had hit her, she even welcomed it. The guards insisted on separating the two despite Rose advocating for her friend.

"Don't pretend like you care," Christian spat at Rose before storming off.

I didn't realize how much anger I had pent up until then; I just snapped. I caught up with Christian before he took two steps. I grabbed Christian by the collar and lifted him up so he was as tall as me. I didn't have anything to say to him so I just threw him down, taking pleasure in seeing him lose balance and fall on his ass.

There was a lot of commotion, the noise in my head mixing with the sounds of people yelling out around me. I could feel the threads of my sanity being thinned down with each second.

In the blink of an eye, the guards were on me, holding me back. They gripped my arms, Jonah standing in between me and my target. Rose went to help Christian up, extending a hand to him, but he swatted it away. He met my glare unflinchingly, showing me as much contempt for me that I held for him right now.

I closed my eyes to control my breathing, which had gotten out of control when I grabbed Christian.

"Dimitri," Rose's cool voice broke through to me. For the first time I noticed there were rings under her eyes, and her shoulders were sagging now. I looked back at Christian, seeing him on the floor was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me. Shame coursed through me, overpowering the anger that was there a moment before.

"Don't take this out on him. You're both angry, so am I" she emphasized the last part for Christian's sake.

"Let him go," she said to the guards holding me with a curt tone. They hesitated but ultimately listened to her. I couldn't tell if she was upset with me or just upset in general.

Christian didn't waste any time in getting away from us, running deeper into the palace where he could be alone.

"What's going on?" Lissa demanded, looking to Rose for answers.

Lissa had a considerably better reaction to Tasha's death than Christian did, I think. I wasn't in the room. Lissa had kicked everyone out to talk to Rose alone. As soon as they were done talking, Lissa gave Hans a list of orders (that she didn't share with the rest of us). Dr. Franke wrapped up Rose's hand in a temporary splint before we were escorted to the courthouse.

Everyone had a job and was moving about to complete it, it seemed, except for me. I followed along blindly, feeling guilty for my earlier outburst and ultimately… useless.

None of the guardians in the councilroom were those from the parking garage. All of these guardians were clean and composed, a stark difference from the trauma experienced today. I stuck out standing by the wall next to my colleagues as the only one sporting blood. The meeting hadn't started yet, and Lissa hadn't announced the reason for the meeting yet. There were plenty of whispers going around the room, though. Lissa allowed this meeting to be public, so the seating area was completely full.

Many people were staring at Rose, bloodied and battered. I earned a few looks of my own, which didn't go unnoticed by the queen. Lissa made her way to me, two guards on her heels.

"Dimitri, I think it would be best if you went home and got some rest," she ordered, her voice kind yet full of command. Before I could ask why she was dismissing me, she leaned in as if sharing a secret. "We need to appear strong right now. We can't have a bloody guardian on display for this hearing."

I raised an eyebrow, "With all due respect, your Majesty, Rose looks in worse condition than me." Lissa nodded in agreement, "Yes, but we need the people here today to see her." she lowered her voice, "This is Rufus's hearing, Dimitri. We need everyone to see what he did to their princess."

Involuntarily, I took a step back. "You're convicting Rufus?" I asked. It would be a brash move on Lissa's part to incriminate a prince. She would get a lot of push back from the Moroi. The queen nodded again, a determined glint in her eyes. "Dimitri you can't be here. Not looking like that." Then it was over, her decision final. She turned on her heel and walked back to the head seat.

Instead of going back home I waited on the steps outside the courthouse. There was a full moon tonight, so I focused on that, not allowing the whispers and stares of pedestrians to get to me. The fatigue was starting to catch up with me, but I didn't want to sleep. There wasn't much to distract me out here, I knew thoughts of Tasha and Randall would catch up with me sooner or later, but I wished I was back in that courtroom with the crowds and politics to occupy my mind.

Thankfully, my phone rang. It was an unknown number but I answered anyway. "Dimka?" it was Viktoria. I breathed a sigh of relief. In all the turmoil I'd forgotten Karolina was rushed to a hospital for her leg. "Vika, is Karolina okay?"

"Yes, yes. We're still at the hospital, but she just got the all-clear to leave. She'll be okay. The doctors gave her some morphine so she's pretty happy right now. We finally called Mama, you should have heard how worried she was."

I coughed out a small laugh, "I can only imagine. Will you be going back home then?" I wished they would stay here for a while, but I knew my mom would be more desperate to see my sisters. Plus Sonja and Karolina had kids to get back to…

"That's part of the reason I'm calling. Mama and Babushka are bringing the children to America. They don't want us to travel. We were wondering if…" Vika was using her sweet voice, the voice that paired with puppy-dog eyes. As the youngest sibling, she knew how to get what she wanted.

"You want to stay with me?"

She breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't have to ask the question herself. "If it's okay with you… and Rose, obviously." There was a hopeful tone to her voice, as if she ever doubted she was welcome with us. "Vika don't be ridiculous, you don't have to ask. Of course you can stay here." It would be perfect having my family there. They always bring a certain chaos with them; it would be a good distraction from all the death around us.

"You aren't even going to ask Rose? It's her place, after all." I tried not to cringe thinking of our home as belonging to Rose.

"Rose knows that dating me means dating all of you. She'll be happy you're coming." I hoped. There was no telling how she would react to this in the wake of today's events.

"Great!" Vika chimed, I knew Rose's approval meant a lot to my little sister. "We can be at Court in a few hours then. I don't know when Mama's flight gets in though. Sonja offered to go pick them up from the air-"

Viktoria kept talking about the logistics, but I stopped hearing everything when my eyes caught Rufus Tarus getting out of a car in front of the courthouse. He was handcuffed and escorted by three guardians, one of which was Eddie. Rufus saw me, and the bastard had the nerve to sneer at me.

"I'll have to call you back, Vika." I hung up without waiting for a response.

I had the rage, and a burning desire to end his life before the queen had a chance to sentence him. But I trusted Lissa to do the right thing. I returned his sneer with a smug smile on my face. I would sleep easier knowing that Rufus failed in his goals.

I'm not entirely sure Tasha deserves to be avenged, after what she's done. But I did know that I wanted that for her. Rufus faltered, almost tripping on a step as he walked into the courthouse, spectators watching in confused silence. I laughed at him before turning away and walking home.

I'd had three shots of vodka after taking a long, searing hot shower and dousing my clothes with bleach. One shot for Randall - good riddance. One for Rufus - not a problem anymore. And one for Tasha - it shouldn't have turned out this way.

Rose entered the apartment as I downed the last shot.

I watched from the kitchen doorway as Rose immediately went over to the couch and laid down, covering her face with her hands. "How did the hearing go?" I asked, putting the shot glass in the sink and stuffing the vodka bottle in the cabinet above the stove.

"Life in prison. The best we could have hoped for, since the council wouldn't execute one of their own." My hand gripped the counter top. That was the best they could do? I could think of plenty of punishments Rufus deserved more than sitting in a box for the rest of his pathetic life. Maybe it was time to call in those favors I was owed by my guardian friends in Tarasov. I took calming breaths before joining my burnt out princess in the living room.

I could push her to her limit, force her to talk to me, but I don't think either of us had enough energy for that tonight. I sat on the floor by the couch, my head resting by Roza's. Sitting down only allowed the fatigue and other painful emotions to take over. I closed my eyes. She didn't make a move to touch me, so we just sat there, being close yet not close enough.

"Roza, I know that -" I began.

"Don't. Please, comrade. Don't tell me it wasn't my fault." Her voice was still muffled by her hands.

"I wasn't going to say that." I opened my eyes and leaned my head back to look at Rose upside down. Our faces were only centimeters apart. She uncovered her face to stare back at me. She didn't say anything, just looked at me with mournful eyes. "I was going to say," I continued, "that you can't shut me out. I know you're hurting, but so am I. Don't leave me to deal with this on my own."

Rose sat up, her knees by my head, so I leaned on her. Like in the car, she smoothed down my hair. "Dimitri, I… how can you even be near me right now?"

"Simple. I love you."

"After what I did…"

"I would've done the same thing." I had a distant feeling that the alcohol was helping me talk right now. Otherwise it would have been too painful. I shifted so that my arms were on either side of her, my chin resting on her thigh. The hand that Rose had in my hair now rested on my cheek.

She bit her lip, knowing that her argument would get her nowhere. "I don't deserve you," she whispered.

I smiled, thinking how ironic it was that Rose would be thinking that, when the reality was that I didn't deserve her. I turned my head to kiss the hand that was on my cheek. There was a silent agreement between us that we were done talking about today's events for now.

Seeing her then, with grief and regret wearing on her, I decided that I would heal her. Not in the way Lissa heals, but I would do everything in my power to get Rose through the healing process. She looked at me, and I got the feeling that she was thinking the same thing about me. We would get through this together, though it would be messy.

Rose leaned into my face and sniffed. "Have you been drinking?" she asked, incredulous. I nodded sheepishly. Rose's face softened into a smile, "Well, it's been one of those days, hasn't it?"

"Would you like some?" I asked. Roza feigned being shocked, "Comrade, are you offering alcohol to a minor? I'm amazed."

"It's been one of those days," I repeated lazily. I don't know how much longer I could stay awake.

"Hmm," Roza hummed. "I don't think that's a good idea right now. There are protesters outside, I don't want to give them another reason to want to impeach me."

I sat up straighter, suddenly on alert, "Protesters? What for?"

Rose sighed and dropped her head, "Rufus supporters. They don't want to believe the crimes we accused him of committing. They're calling me a liar."

I didn't even notice activity outside the windows - because I never checked. I was completely useless as Rose's guardian when she needed my protection most.

"It's okay, I'm sure they'll get bored with standing outside the building," she said comfortingly, stroking my chin affectionately. "There are some protestors at the palace too, so we'll all just have to lie low for a while." There was a small smile on her face. The smile was a beacon of light on this dark day. We would get through this, I had more confidence in us than ever.

She stood up and pointed to her shirt, which was covered in dried blood. "I'm going to take a shower, and you should get some rest." As soon as she said that the doorbell rang. Rose groaned in defeat, "I can't take any more right now."