The biggest thank you to RachelmasonFan39, Lynny, Mrs Carmichael, hannah5240, fayeftvanity and LittleH12 for your reviews, and to everyone else for reading! x
"You want this one?" Rachel held a blue car out to Michael, who grinned and immediately grabbed it, placing it carefully in line with his others.
"Fishy!" he proclaimed happily.
"Fish? It's not a fish, it's a car."
"A car-fish." He looked at her solemnly.
Rachel was thoroughly confused. "You mean a catfish?"
He paused, looked thoughtful. "No," he decided. "A car-fish. Vroom!"
This was accompanied by him pushing the line forwards, before beginning to open and close his mouth in the time-honoured method of imitating being underwater. Rachel chuckled. "Okay then," she agreed.
"Where's daddy?"
"He went to get dinner," she reminded him. "Fish and chips, remember?"
"Car-fish?"
"No, I think it will probably be normal fish."
He looked relieved. "Good. Can I have crisps?"
"With fish and chips?"
Michael gave a peal of laughter. "No silly, now!"
"Oh, that does make more sense." She looked amused. "But no, honey. Daddy will be back with dinner soon, you'll ruin your appetite."
He pouted, but then forgot to when he looked up as the doorbell rang. "Daddy?"
"Probably not." Rachel climbed to her feet, frowning slightly. "Keep playing, Michael, I'll be back in a minute."
He hummed, already intent on pushing his cars again. Red car was going to have an argument with green car, but black car was going to make them say sorry and be friends again. Only… that meant his yellow car wasn't going to have a partner anymore. He sat back on his heels, frowning in concentration as he pondered how to fix that.
A thump from the hallway had Michael looking up. Maybe daddy was back already?
He scrambled up, peeking into the hallway. Only the man there wasn't daddy.
"Rachel?"
From where she was pushed against the wall, Rachel shot him a single, terrified glance. "Michael, go back inside!"
But he didn't move, eyes wide as he watched the man hastily step back. Rachel immediately moved to place herself between him and Michael, shaking but staring at Max defiantly. "Get out of my house."
"Or what?" He stepped towards her, eyes narrowing.
"You really don't want to find out, mate."
Relief ran through her when Eddie's hand clamped onto Max's shoulder from behind, simmering rage barely hidden underneath his relatively blank expression. Max snorted. "You must be the boyfriend. Or is it the brother-in-law?"
Eddie didn't deign to answer- he simply balled up his shirt in his first, shoving him backwards to the door and letting go just as he crossed the threshold. Max hit the ground, letting out a grunt but anything else was lost as Eddie shut the door on him, turning to face Rachel with a look of pure concern. She'd scooped Michael up into her arms, was holding him tightly but her face was pale, a little shell shocked.
"Are you alright?"
Eddie came towards her, and she slipped into his embrace, turning so she didn't squash the boy she was still holding. "We're fine," she assured him, willing the shakiness in her limbs to subside. Michael was silent, eyes huge and fingers tight around the material of her top.
Eddie didn't believe her for a second. "What the hell was that?"
"He really doesn't like me."
"Rachel's hurt!" Michael piped up.
"I'm not hurt, sweetie."
"When Bobby pushed Katie against the wall like that, Miss Ellie made him sit in timeout till lunchtime. And he wasn't allowed to play in the water with us. Is that man going to get a timeout too?" Michael looked at her innocently, and she felt Eddie stiffen against them.
"I'm sure he will. Why don't you go wash your hands for dinner?"
Michael wriggled and she put him down, allowing him to run off while Eddie looked at her with dark eyes. "He pushed you against the wall?"
"Don't overreact…"
"Overreact? Rachel, that's assault!"
Her hand landed on his arm, fingers tight. "Eddie, please leave it!"
"What?"
"Please, just ignore it!"
He gaped at her incredulously. "Ignore it? Rachel, he could have hurt you! What if he does it again?"
"Eddie…"
"What if he hits you next time?" he demanded. "Or pushes you down the stairs instead of against the wall?"
She rolled her eyes slightly. "He's a headteacher, not a gang member. I hardly think he's going to start going around assaulting me on a whim."
His eyes flashed. "Then what was tonight?"
"A silly little man, throwing his toys out his pram," she said calmly, hands wrapping over his. "Eddie, he's just having a tantrum because he's not getting his own way- I may have stuck my nose in with him and Kim."
"I don't care why he did it, I care that he did!"
"Please, Eddie. If you push it, he'll push back. He'll have you charged with assault as well."
His jaw was set, expression unhappy. "Rach…"
"Please? For me?"
"All clean!" Michael came charging towards them, holding his hands out. Rachel stepped away from Eddie, who immediately brought his son into his arms.
"Squeaky clean," he agreed, making a show of examining his hands. "Shall we have dinner?"
"Fish!" Michael crowed, and Rachel couldn't help but smile.
"Hold the cars," she quipped, and Eddie paused in confusion.
"Cars?"
W.R.
It was much later, with Michael tucked up fast asleep and the house silent that Rachel lay in Eddie's arms, watching the minutes on the clock tick round and seriously contemplated phoning in sick to work the next morning. If it hadn't been for not wanting Max to think he'd managed to scare her, she probably would. She'd never in her entire career phoned in sick without a very good reason, and now she felt nauseous at the prospect.
"I can practically hear your brain working. It's far too late." Eddie hadn't even opened his eyes.
"How do you do that?" she wondered, shifting slightly to glance up at his face.
"Talent."
They lapsed into silence, and Rachel watched another minute tick past. "Eddie?"
He gave a hum of acknowledgment.
"You aren't going to do anything, are you? About Max?" She waited, but he was silent for long enough that she began to worry. "Eddie?"
"I don't like it," he said finally. "I don't trust him, I don't trust that you're safe. But if you really don't want me to-,"
"I don't," she said immediately.
He pulled her closer so that she was pressed against him and sighed, unhappy. "Then I won't. For now. But I saw your face earlier, you were scared. It's Stuart Hordley all over again."
"It's not the same."
"Isn't it?"
She hesitated, seeing the truth in his words. If anything, it was worse, she acknowledged- at least she hadn't had to face Stuart multiple times a day. "Maybe it's similar," she conceded, and he dropped a kiss to her shoulder.
"Except Hordley never put his hands on you."
"No…" she murmured, and felt a sliver of unease trickle down her spine. Was Eddie right? She'd never liked Max but hadn't thought him dangerous. Not in a physical sense anyway. She reached out, linked their fingers. "Regardless, I don't want you involved. I can fight my own battles."
"I know you can. It doesn't mean you have to fight them alone."
She smiled, rested her head on his shoulder. "Can I ask you something? On an entirely different subject."
His eyes had drifted closed again, and he hummed absently. "'Course."
"Do you still hate Melissa?"
His eyes flew open. "What sort of question is that?" She shrugged. He eyed her warily, trying to work out where this was coming from. "I didn't ask because you didn't want to talk, but now I think you need to. What happened last night?"
"I asked first."
"Rachel."
She sighed, levered herself into a sitting position and looking over to him. "The usual. Melissa played the injured party, I ended up the nagging big sister. We both got angry and I ended up walking out. She refuses to admit she did anything wrong and I… I'm still so upset with her."
"That's natural."
"Is it?" She looked at him, frustration written all over her face. "Then why do I feel so awful about it?"
"Because you're a good person." He wrapped an arm around her, pressed a kiss to her head and she leant into him.
"I've been looking after Melissa for as long as I can remember. And even when our relationship hasn't been good, it's never been this bad either." She closed her eyes, tried to concentrate on the warmth coming from his touch and so felt him exhale in a whoosh.
"I don't know what to tell you," he admitted. "In any other circumstance, I would have walked away from Melissa and never looked back. And seeing what she's doing to you isn't exactly softening me towards her."
"She's my kid sister, Eddie," she whispered. "From the moment she was born… Look after your sister, Amanda, she's littler than you. Look after Melissa, she's not as grown up as you. You're the eldest, it's your job to take care of her. And I always did."
He leant his head against hers. "But you're not children anymore. She's a grown woman, and a parent, who needs to start taking responsibility for herself."
"She's never been very good at that."
"Now why doesn't that surprise me?"
She gave a teary laugh, entwined her fingers through his. "She's the only family I have left. No matter what she's done… I don't want to lose her. I can't forgive her yet, but…"
"I understand," he soothed. "She's your sister."
"You don't mind?"
He frowned, sat straighter so that he could look at her properly. "Rachel, do you really think I'd ever come between you? Whatever I feel towards her and even though I don't completely understand it, I'd never ask you to choose. Don't get me wrong, I'm not up for family dinners anytime soon, but I would never ask you not to see her just because I'm angry with her."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm still angry with her too. I just… I've lost so many people, Eddie, I don't want to lose my only sister as well. Even if I don't want to see her right now." She ran her hands through her hair.
"I know. And if she ever pulls her head out her… the sand, I imagine she'll feel the same."
"Somehow I doubt that," she muttered, and he shot her a look that went unnoticed as she climbed out of bed. If he were honest, he didn't quite get Rachel's insistence at maintaining a relationship with Melissa- as far as he was concerned, as little contact as possible was the best thing. But he could see it was eating her up. So he would stay silent, and be supportive and pick up the pieces when it inevitably went horribly wrong.
"I just hope she isn't so wrapped up in her own desires that Lacey suffers," Rachel continued, her back to him as she opened the window. "Poor Phillip already is."
And she wasn't sure about having children, he thought, shaking his head in disbelief. Unfortunately for him, she caught the movement in the reflection of the glass. "What?"
"Nothing!"
She turned to face him properly, half amused, half annoyed. "What was that movement for?"
He shrugged slightly. "You just… you care so much."
"Of course I do. They're my niece and nephew."
He gave a nod, eyes fixed on her.
"Eddie, what is it?" she came over to sit on the end of the bed, looking at him curiously.
"Why don't you really want children, Rach?"
He surprised even himself when the question spilled from his lips. She reared back slightly, blinking, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she managed to respond. "I never said that."
"You never said you did."
"I don't know, Eddie! I thought you weren't going to push this?"
"I'm not!" he protested. "I just… I want to understand. You're wonderful with children, you adore Phil and Lacey, and don't think I didn't see you step between Max and Michael earlier. I don't understand why you're so hesitant about having your own!"
Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Because every woman in the world wants children, is that it?"
"Of course that's not what I mean! I know not every woman does- I'm also pretty sure that you do!"
"Eddie, would you leave it?"
She rose, intending to leave the room but he practically leapt out of bed, catching hold of her wrist. "Sweetheart, I'm not trying to upset you- I just want you to talk to me! Why won't you talk about it? Why are you so reluctant?"
"Because I don't know how to be a mother!" It was out before she could stop it, hanging in the air between them and she closed her eyes, wondering why she couldn't seem to hold her tongue around him. His brow furrowed. "I don't know how," she repeated, softer now. "I can deal with teenagers, I've been doing it my entire career. I can physically look after a baby. But actually being a mother? I don't know anything about that. Mine was... not the best example. She was wonderful, but I looked after her more than she did me. And it's not like I have anyone to ask."
"Rachel, you're already halfway there."
She pinned him with a look. "Being a headteacher to a school of adolescents is very different to parenting a child, Eddie."
"You really don't see it, so you?" He looked at her, such depth to his expression that she shifted uncomfortably. It was filled with awe and incredulity and softness and exasperation, and Rachel didn't know what to do in the fact of it.
She ignored it instead. "See what?"
He nudged her over to sit on the bed next him, tilting his head at her. "Do you remember the first day we met?"
She quirked an eyebrow at the apparent non-sequitur. "Of course. You hated me on principle."
"I didn't hate you," he denied. She shot him a disbelieving look, and he flushed. "Okay, so I didn't like your ideas, or the way you were parachuted in. But it was nothing against you personally."
Her expression didn't change.
"That wasn't the point," he said hastily. "My point is, when Mika pulled her little stunt, I had visions of having to fight you against punishing her too severely, of having to referee between you and Tom when he found out. And instead, you comforted her."
She stilled, eyeing him. "So I wasn't the big bad wolf you thought I would be. So what?"
"So what? Rachel, don't you realise what you did? The majority of headteachers would have suspended Mika for being drunk on school grounds, at the very least. You let her lie down, reassured her... mothered her."
She snorted. "I did not mother her."
"You didn't go all scary headteacher on her either. Rachel, your first instinct was to look after her. Just like it is with all the kids."
"Teenagers, Eddie! I can deal with teenagers! After years of experience!"
"Then we adopt a teenager."
She stared at him. His face was blank, delivery casual. "I can't tell if you're joking or not!"
"Mostly not. But my point is, Rachel, you already know how to be a mother. You're fantastic with Michael, you've looked after Phillip and Lacey."
She was not dropping that adoption thing, she thought, but was distracted by his newest comment. "I'm not their mother, and besides Phillip mostly looked after himself, and Lacey's just a newborn."
"Do you hear yourself?" He looked amused. "Most people who don't have one are scared of looking after babies- you act like you've done it before."
"I have."
He looked baffled, and curious. She sighed- she couldn't really get out of explaining that, she supposed. "I used to… know, this girl. Before I was a teacher. We both wanted out so we lived together for a while, to save on rent. She got pregnant, decided to keep the baby and I used to help her out sometimes."
Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. "What happened to her?"
Now, her expression turned bitter. "She overdosed when I was still at uni, was dead before anyone even knew anything was wrong. I don't know what happened to Matty."
Not quite the happy ending he was hoping for.
He reached over to gently squeeze her hand, drawing her attention to him. "Rachel, if you really don't want children, then I won't say another word about it," he said quietly. "But please, please don't just say that because you're afraid and doubting yourself. You would be a wonderful mother, if that's what you want."
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering for a long few moments before standing and heading towards the bathroom. She inhaled deeply, flopping backwards and staring at the ceiling as her stomach churned uncomfortably.