Part 18

I'm terribly sorry for the large gap. And then I went and removed the last two chapters to replace them with adjusted ones. My only excuse is, I was completely stuck. I simply didn't know how to end this story in a proper way. It drove me to desperation because I didn't want to give up.

The good news is: now I know. I havened replaced the chapters for nothing. They needed altering because of the brainwave that finally came to me. If you read this before, I suggest scrolling to the end because there's were the important bits start.

So, please, stay with me and reread this and be rewarded with the end of the plot!

If revenge is a dish best served cold this one is frozen in the meantime I fear. Nevertheless we happily soldier on.

Enjoy!

In contrast to all the agitated yelling and shouting from not a week previous, the mood in Varric's suite at this moment was almost eerily serene, or perhaps listless was a better word to describe the ambience. There hung definitively an air of stunned disappointment. Hawke and Fenris had taken their leave after emptying a few glasses of champagne, and not a moment after the couple had walked through the door the merry atmosphere had waned. The rest of them now sat in silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts. Now and again a cinder in the ever-burning hearth crackled and the laughter and loud discussions of the usual crowd down below in the taproom drifted up. But that was all the sound for quite a while.

Isabela tilted her chair on the hind legs and rested her booted feet on a corner of Varric's table. Pensively she swirled the rum around in her glass. After the champagne, she had turned once more to hard liquor. Bubbles were for show, rum was for real, and she desperately needed the alcohol to quench her distress. The juicy scene she had anticipated had been smothered before it even had had the chance to bloom. 'I must say, that was more than a little unsatisfactory. To be honest I had hoped for a tremendous row. With a lot of shouting and mutual recriminations.'

'You're not the only one,' Anders groused sullenly. He wiped away a drop of sweat that trickled down his temple, absentmindedly wondering why on earth the dwarf insisted on having a fire going on in the hot months of summer. Stupid dwarves.

'There was breaking of glass involved,' the stupid dwarf pointed out.

'That may be,' Isabela complained, 'but not in the way I pictured it. I had aimed for at least a few scratches and bruises, more than one black eye, and the flying around of furniture and glassware. I even had been willing to clear away the debris afterwards. This,' she vaguely waved at the remnants of the wineglass on the floor, 'Is definitively not my standard of a good fight.'

'Really? Blowing up the mansion wasn't enough? You wanted my suite being destroyed as well? I thought the expression on Hawke's face was priceless. That was worth all the cost, or at least a substantial part of it.'

'I for one can do without all the destruction,' Aveline said snappish. She frowned when the hubbub from below got a rioting kind of character with a sudden crash of smashed crockery and screaming voices breaking out. Out of some kind of guard instinct (order will rule!) her fingers started to twitch but she decided the ruckus was part of a normal evening in the Hanged Man, and she didn't have to interfere till Corff raised his voice in alarm. So, after the hardly noticeable short pause, she went on, 'But I have to admit Fenris's reaction was rather – strange. Uncanny even. I mean, I was astonished enough when he took the damage to his house so cool and collected but this time he actually laughed. Laughed! I can't remember I ever heard him do that before. I didn't even know he was capable of laughing out loud!'

Varric stared gloomily into his ale, mulling over the subject. Meditatively he said, 'I once asked him if brooding was a sport in Tevinter and he told me the face he showed at that moment was his happy one.' He snorted at the memory. 'I suggested alerting the Chantry to put that on their calendar.' He shook his head and grinned with a flare of sudden merriment. 'Things have changed. The broody elf has turned into a contented if not joyful one.' He added with a small frown, 'On the other hand I must say I rather like this new Fenris. He is much more approachable.'

'Oh yes, let's pretend the rabid dog has suddenly changed into a cuddly bunny,' Anders grumbled sulkily.

Varric looked up and beamed broadly. 'Is this Mistress Jealousy speaking, or is Justice whispering in your brain the evil mage-hater needs to be taught a lesson? If that's the case, I would strongly recommend you call the spirit back to order; he almost had you arrested today for not keeping his blather mouth shut.'

'I just want to make it clear he doesn't deserve her,' the healer groused, his face a fair impersonation of a thundercloud, if only at the remembrance of the awkward scene earlier that afternoon.

'Oh, and you think you do?' Isabela sneered. Mistress Jealousy not only pestered Anders, but had wormed herself into her system as well, and she definitively wanted to get rid of the nasty sensation. Being jealous had never plagued her before and it didn't suit her. Deep inside she knew the disturbing feeling was about how Hawke and Fenris so strongly cared for each other, but that was even more distressing than willing to admit it had to do with how she lusted after both of them. She took a large quaff of her rum.

'The way of the heart is as unfathomable as the will of the Maker,' Sebastian put in a pious word.

Three pairs of eyes rolled wearily and three exasperated sighs floated up to the ceiling.

'Perhaps you better stick to carrying lemonade and such,' Isabela grumbled annoyed, 'I thought you were rather good at that.' And then her eyes lighted up with a wicked twinkle. 'On the other hand, you could also go down on your knees and pray to the Maker for some unfathomable way to give Aveline the courage to drag Donnic into a corner and persuade him to have his way with her.' Ah yes, this was great, a perfect distraction from her own weakness. And she got her award immediately after.

In an instant Aveline turned crimson out of a mixture of fury and embarrassment. 'Insufferable bitch!' she yelled while Isabela burst into a fit of laughter.

'No wonder you're so grumpy all the time and bark at everyone!' she hooted. 'Considering all those hormones running rampage! You simply must be screaming for a good flip-over!' With that she almost choked on her fit of laughter.

'Now now ladies, please calm down,' Sebastian tried to settle down the row between the two women but got rewarded for his effort with a splash of rum hitting his face when Aveline succeeded in swatting the glass out off Isabela's hand. It shattered against the wall.

'You miserable piece of shit,' the Guard Captain growled. 'How dare you desecrate my feelings like that!' She knew the pirate whore had managed to wind her up once again and she had without thinking taken the bait; it made her even angrier.

Varric picked up the remains of yet another glass. 'If you go on on this scale, I have to buy myself a new drink-set,' he remarked dryly. It certainly took the sting out of both the anger and glee.

With an irritated huff Isabela leaned back and Aveline remorsefully pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Sorry Varric,' she said meekly, 'I'll remunerate the damage.'

'Don't bother,' the dwarf replied. 'I believe I still have the resources to replace all the broken glass.' Carefully he put the shards on the table and turned to Sebastian. 'Perhaps you could leave the Maker out off our business the next time you open your mouth? I thought the Big Man had abandoned the world anyway, no need to hint at his non-existent interference. I'd rather keep the rest of my property intact, if you don't mind.'

For the second time that evening Sebastian withheld himself from comment. He frowned inwardly; this shouldn't become a habit.

Hawke stumbled into the parlour and crashed down on the couch. She stared into the cold, swept clean hearth and wondered what the hell had happened. The champagne bubbles seemed to flutter through her head and played havoc on her mind. She sensed Fenris sit down next to her. The whole way home they had exchanged little words, or better none at all. They had walked through Kirkwall in the gentle summer night under an impossible bright star-sprinkled sky, absorbed in their own contemplations. At least, Hawke ruminated, Fenris had been absorbed with contemplations; she herself merely had been absorbed with confusion and fragments of thoughts that had fled to all directions before she could have made them coherent. And despite his reaction earlier that evening, Hawke was convinced simmering anger was boiling behind the elf's once again calm posture and it was just a matter of time before he would explode.

'Alright. You can start to shout and rave, we're out of the dwarf's reach and earshot and you won't rouse the delicate nobles living around. These walls are sound-proof. You have been marvellous back there, keeping your bearing and self-control and all that. I must say I'm impressed and not for the first time. But you must be fuming inside. This stupid situation is all but my fault, I know it.' She also knew she was rambling, if only to keep the unrest whirling in her mind at bay.

Fenris chuckled shortly and moved closer to her. Softly he tapped her hand. 'Will you please stop blaming yourself? After all, how were you to know? I believe you've held yourself from everything remotely connected to marriages as far as possible.'

Hawke sat straight and huffed. 'A little too far as it turns out. Next time I come up with some bright idea remind me to check the "Complete People's Law of Kirkwall",' she added, quite sarcastically. 'Before I create another disaster.'

Her lover, correction, husband, pensively cocked a dark eyebrow. 'Disaster?'

Hawke realised how she sounded and deflated. She wanted to slap herself; she made it seem as if she rejected him. 'I'm sorry, that came out totally wrong,' she admitted with a feeble attempt at a smile. The outcome looked like something between a maniacal grin and a hysterical outburst in the make.

With a slight sigh Fenris put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. He could make a pretty good guess at what was really bothering her. With tender fingers he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. The state she had been in after the scene in the Chantry Square, still was fresh in mind and he remembered her faraway look before they signed the – suddenly legal – marriage contract. It made her recent outburst very understandable. Sebastian might have looked hurt and, undoubtedly, he had felt that way, but the Chantry Brother didn't understand half about Hawke's trepidations. He, at the other hand, did. 'I know this is about your family.'

Marian turned and buried her face in his shoulder. She didn't cry, just held on to him. Firmly. 'Yes,' she mumbled after a while, hardly audible with her mouth pressed in his shirt. She let out a snort. 'Nothing about me stays a secret with you, does it.'

Fenris chortled. 'I thought that was one of the obligations of a husband.'

He made her laugh and he felt relieved when the ripple of her amusement hit his skin.

'Only of the good ones I assume.' She lifted her head and he saw a stray tear hanging on her lashes. So she had been crying after all. She had kept very silent then, for him not to notice. Automatically his hand moved to wipe the drop away. He only managed to let well up more tears although she heroically tried to swallow them back. Instinctively he bowed his head and kissed her tears away.

'I know I am not good with family related feelings,' he said clumsily. 'I can't recall having family. But I think I can understand you miss them dearly.' After another tender kiss he added, 'Especially at occasions like this.' He clearly remembered that particular morning he had stood on the brink of abandoning her because of sudden upcoming and even faster fading images of what he believed were members of his family. No, he had no idea of how to care for family but he knew damn well how it felt to lose them, strange how it may sound. But, as she had made very clear that very morning, some things – some feelings, some persons – were more important than even family ever could be.

Hawke leaned her head against his chest and gratefully accepted his arms encircling her body. 'Bethany wanted so badly to get married,' she murmured, 'Although I think it was the special day she craved for.' She closed her eyes for a moment. 'No,' she corrected herself, 'That does her no credit. Of course she wanted the dress and the flowers and all the attention a bride gets, but what she really desired was someone to love, a person who loved her back. Like Father and Mother loved each other.' She tilted her head and looked at him. 'The way we love each other.' New tears appeared. 'I would have so much granted her this happiness.'

Fenris let his fingers trail along her face. The vision of Marian pushing that dagger into her sister's heart to end her suffering suddenly became so dreadfully clear, he had the feeling it happened again. Back then he had been no more than a silent witness, not knowing how to react. Now he felt her pain and desperately wanted to comfort her. 'I know,' he whispered, 'and I also know she would grant you the happiness she never was able to experience.'

Hawke took a deep sigh and then gave him a crooked smile. 'I sound like a whining waif, don't I. No, don't answer that.' She giggled out of the blue. 'I don't need my husband to lay bare my failures.' Before he could protest she got up from the couch and said, 'I want to take another look at "The Complete Laws" and so on and so forth. If only as some kind of distraction.'

Fenris had followed Hawke into the library after he had retrieved a bottle of Antivan Summer Passion out of the cellar. He found her studying the heavy tome that apparently held all the laws of Kirkwall the People had to follow. Willingly or not.. He joined her at the table and poured two glasses of the hearty red wine. She thanked him absentmindedly, too absorbed with the text she was reading. He started reading as well, although he couldn't believe he, or Marian for that matter, would find anything amiss. He was the first to admit he had been too rattled and confused to study the text adequately before, but, well, it wouldn't hurt to give it a new try.

And then his eyes narrowed. Suddenly he noticed something he had overlooked in the husky light of Varric's suite. This might be a different copy of the book, but apparently the same trick had been performed. He clutched Marian's hand. 'Wait,' he said hoarsely, 'someone has been fiddling with the pages.' Perhaps it was due to the flickering of the candlelight that cast wavering shadows, but, whatever the case, it was evident some pages had been cut away and others added. He dared to bet the glue had hardly had the chance to set. 'This is not the true text.' He smiled nastily. 'I must say the dwarf has gone through a lot of trouble to fool us but this is a forgery. Be it a very clever one.' Because, as before, this had Varric's signature all over it.

Hawke's eyes flew open. 'A forgery?!' She took in a deep breath. 'Does this mean we aren't married after all?' She let her fingers track the hardly discernable cut in the parchment. 'Can I kill him yet?' She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 'Have I gone through the storm of emotions for nothing? What do we do now?' She really very much wanted to strangle the dwarf, although, as with the unsavoury scene at the Chantry Board, she imagined he could not know what he had made her endure. Varric never had meant to hurt her. They simply had been caught in that silly web of revenge.

Pensively Fenris tapped with his long, slender fingers on the tabletop, searching for a way to save the situation. 'We could get married, if you want to.'

'No,' Hawke said harshly, without thinking. The next heartbeat she realised how blunt her reaction must have sound. From the corner of her eye she saw Fenris's slightly hurt expression. 'I'm sorry,' she said contritely. 'That came out all wrong, I didn't mean it that way.' She laid her hand on his and squeezed softly. 'Of course I'd love to marry you, only not now. Not because of all that's happened of late. If we get married, when we get married, it must be solely our decision. A decision made on our conditions. You told me you weren't ready for marriage yet, and I agreed. I still do. I say we just keep practising until we both are convinced it's the right time to make that step. I don't want to hastily ring the wedding bells out of some – overreaction.'

Fenris nodded his acquiescence. 'I suppose you're right. We must pick our own time and at least wait until all the commotion has dwindled away.'

'I'm glad you're of the same mind.' The twinkle in Marian's eyes suddenly returned. 'Besides, what kind of proposal was that anyway? Shouldn't you go down on your knee and offer me a ring with a too large diamond?'

A corner of the elf's mouth lifted in a lopsided smile. 'Would that please you?'

Marian laughed. 'I'd sooner think you had lost your mind, or read too much over-romantic poetry.' She tilted her head. 'Don't get me wrong, I would have felt flattered. Though a little bemused, I suppose.'

'I'll keep that in mind,' Fenris smiled. 'I see I'll have to hatch a more original plan to sweep you off your feet.'

'You've already accomplished that,' Hawke smiled sweetly back, 'no need to get overboard with outlandish ideas. Although, I would appreciate a nice surprise. Something like an exclusive night out. A picnic under the stars, perhaps..?'

Fenris chortled. 'I'll keep that in mind as well.' He put a soft kiss on her hair. 'But, like you said before, what do we do now? Do we keep pretending we believe in the hoax, or do we come out with the truth?'

'Hmm,' Hawke murmured, absent-mindedly turning her glass around on the table. And then her face lighted up. 'We do the latter.'

'Oh Maker,' Fenris said, alarmed. 'I know that look.'

Marian beamed brightly. 'Indeed you do. It's time for one last prank. One that will shut them up forever.'

I want to thank you all for your patience. Within a few days I will post the next adjusted chapter and, as we speak, I'm working hard on the following one. And I promise you that will lead to one hell of big bang!