CHAPTER 6

- Daryl -

Daryl leaned against the railing of the guard tower and lit a cigarette. He inhaled as he scanned the fences and woods surrounding the prison. Walkers peppered the gates, clawing and moaning. Kate had taken the first shift while he slept on the makeshift bed in the corner of the guard shack. When she had come to wake him up for his turn, she knocked softly, but he was already awake and putting his vest back on. He stood and opened the door, "Ready to get some sleep?"

"So ready." She yawned. After their adventures at the pharmacy today he wasn't surprised. They'd ridden back to the prison in silence, not that they would've been able to hear each other very well over the roar of the engine anyway, but it had given him plenty of time to ruminate on how badly he'd fucked things up.

"Anything interesting out here?" He couldn't think of anything else to say to fill the silence.

"Nope." She glanced at Maggie and Glenn's bed in the corner and then at Daryl's. "Do you mind if I use your bed?"

He looked at her flatly, trying not to betray the thoughts that were racing through his brain. He shrugged and mumbled, "'s'fine" before quickly walking outside. Truth was, at that moment the thought of her sleeping in his bed took his breath away. He leaned against the railing and fished in his pocket for a lighter, trying his best to keep his thoughts off the girl that occupied most of them. Knowing she was curled up in his bed just a few feet away made it more difficult than it already was and he cursed himself for not being able to control his emotions.

He'd guessed she must've forgiven him for the pharmacy because she was acting like nothing had happened. He wished it was as easy for him to forgive himself. He couldn't even clear the fucking store, almost getting her killed because of it and then, like an asshole, he blamed her. Truth was, it had scared the shit out of him. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but in that moment when he saw her on the ground he couldn't pretend he didn't have feelings for her. He had no business having them and he knew it. The fact that he seemed unable to stop them pissed him off even more. He'd reacted like he normally did when emotions were at play, he got angry. Except he hadn't expected for her to fight back, drawing attention to his failure.

He figured about an hour had passed when he heard the door to the shack open. He looked up to see her walking towards him with sleepy eyes. The moonlight behind her was lighting up her frizzy blonde hair like a halo.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked. She gave him a weak smile and shook her head.

"Dream woke me." She said, a trace of sorrow in her voice. Daryl leaned against the outer wall of the shack and slid down.

"Nightmare?"

She moved to sit next to him, so close he could smell her. How she managed to still smell so good when they all so rarely could bathe was beyond him.

"It wasn't a nightmare exactly. I dreamed I was home, with my family."

That same sad smile found its way to her face again and he found a part of him wanting so badly to comfort her, but not knowing how. The only person he had to miss was Merle, and he did, in his own way, but he imagined it was a lot different than someone who was separated by thousands of miles with no way of knowing if they were dead or alive.

"Ya miss them a lot, huh?"

She looked at him then, like this whole conversation was unexpected. Of course it was. Daryl didn't usually ask a lot of personal questions. He was surprising them both quite a bit these days.

"I do." She said simply. "Mostly it's the not knowing and how hard it must be for them to not know about me."

"Do ya miss your boyfriend?"

He didn't know much about this part of her story, only knew that was why she had been in Georgia. He didn't even know the reason they had been separated, just that she was trying to get back to her family that night Atlanta was bombed. She looked at him again, questioning his newly found conversational skills before replying.

"No." She paused. "Is that bad?"

He shrugged and looked away into the darkness.

She continued, "We had only been together about six months when it happened. He was a great guy, but I hardly knew him. I've known all of you guys longer. Care about you all more too. You guys are all I have left in this world."

The weight of that statement hit him. It sounded a lot like responsibility and commitment and he hadn't had a lot of either in his life before the turn. He imagined it was true for all of them in this makeshift family they had formed, even for him, but it was a different thing hearing it said out loud. They grew quiet after that, sitting side-by-side, the silence stretching on for a while. She was hardly ever this quiet. Then he noticed her head nodding and all at once it fell softly against his shoulder. She was asleep. Daryl froze. He had been touched by her before, she was holding onto him tightly on the bike just this morning, but this was different somehow. Vulnerable. He stayed there with her until the sun started its slow glow in the distance and the metal door to the prison screeched open. As Rick walked out, Kate rose her head quickly from Daryl's shoulder. She looked at him guiltily, wiping what he was sure was drool from the corner of her mouth and still managing to look beautiful doing it.

"I guess I fell asleep. Sorry about that."

"'s'nothing."

Except it kind of was. He knew that. She knew that. There had been a shift between them that night. He was no longer going to be able to push down those feelings he had for her, but whatever it was that passed between them, he still couldn't imagine her ever considering being with some backwoods redneck like him. He knew he didn't deserve her.

She had started to climb back to the ground while he stood at the top. She crossed the yard and waved to Rick as they exchanged good mornings. As she slid the door to the prison open she looked behind her, up at the tower and gave a smile before disappearing into the prison. Daryl looked down at Rick, who was looking back up at him with humor in his face. Daryl scowled and headed for the ladder.