CHAPTER 15
– Kate -
She didn't see Daryl much the next morning. He, Rick and Hershel spent a lot of time out of the earshot of the others, discussing plans. He also went with Glenn and Michonne to see what they could do to secure the prison, slow the Governor's group down.
Kate kept to the cellblock, trying to keep herself busy and occasionally standing watch. Rick wanted everyone inside when possible and the idea that it was too dangerous to step outside added to the anxious feeling around the prison. Daryl, Rick and even Hershel seemed troubled, more than the rest of them and she wondered what they were keeping to themselves.
Kate sat on a cold cement step in the common room and cradled Judith in her arm. She stuck the bottle in her mouth and watched the little girl guzzle the formula hungrily. The door from the yard swung open behind her and Kate turned her head to find Daryl walking in.
"You seen Merle?" He asked.
"No, actually, last time I saw him was when you were in the truck with Glenn and Michonne. He was in here talking to Carol. Maybe she knows."
"Ok. Thanks." He leaned down to pat Judith's head. "You doin' ok?"
She smiled weakly and nodded, "You ok?"
He shook his head, but he seemed distracted and she wasn't so sure.
About an hour later, Kate was still sitting in the common room, Judith sleeping soundly in her arms. Carol had joined her and was chatting with her as she sorted bullets when they were interrupted by Carl.
"We're meeting outside at the picnic bench in five minutes. My Dad needs to talk to us. Have you guys seen Maggie and Glenn?"
They both shook their heads and Carl walked back out to the yard.
"For as few of us as there are here, no one can find anyone today." Kate observed.
"Right?" Carol said, stacking several blue and white boxes of bullets and standing.
Kate stood with Judith and the two women headed out to the yard where Hershel, Beth and Carl were already sitting at the bench, a crate full of Moltov cocktails on the tabletop, a vulgar contrast to Beth's innocent face. Kate and Carol took a seat on the bench and waited with the rest in silence for Rick to appear. Meetings like this rarely brought good news and Kate thought maybe they would finally find out what had been troubling Daryl all morning, she doubted she wanted to know. Rick walked up and stood waiting for Maggie and Glenn, who made their way over. She wondered if Merle was to be included in this meeting, but Rick began as soon as Maggie and Glenn walked up. Kate looked out at the field. Where was Daryl? Michonne? Why was Rick starting without them?
"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said...he said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne."
At Rick's words Kate felt as if she'd been punched in the gut. Rick would never give in to such a request, he couldn't. What kind of people would that make them? She looked at his face and her mouth went dry, the guilt was so evident in his eyes.
"And I was gonna do that to keep us safe."
He said 'was'. WAS. She felt herself begin to breathe normally again, but she couldn't help but wonder where Michonne was now. Or where Daryl was for that matter.
"I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know if it's too late."
This time it was fear Kate felt. Fear and anger. Fear for Michonne. Fear for Daryl. Anger towards Merle and even Rick. Her chest rose and fell as she took deep breaths to try and calm herself down.
"I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry. What I said last year, that first night after the farm. It can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we ARE the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live. How you die. It isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight or we can go."
When Rick had finished he looked over at Kate apologetically. Carl got up angrily and stormed towards the prison door. Rick looked skyward and sighed before turning to follow his son into the cell block.
Kate still sat on the bench, Judith still asleep in her arms. Maggie walked over and sat next to her, taking her hand in her's.
"Daryl will find them. He will." She said, her voice soothing and full of compassion. Glenn stood next to her shaking his head in agreement.
Kate was sure Daryl would, but would he find them after Michonne was already delivered to the Governor? Michonne didn't deserve that, no one did. And if Merle got Michonne to the Governor it was unlikely he would just let Merle go, after all, he was a deserter, wasn't he? Daryl wouldn't just let his brother go, he'd try to save them both and they'd probably all end up dead.
"Do you guys know how long they've been gone? How long after Daryl followed?"
They all shook their head. Hershel suggested they all go back inside, someone should be on watch and they shouldn't all be out here unarmed. Kate volunteered for watch, she knew she'd be useless anywhere else and she wanted to wait for Daryl. Beth took the sleeping baby from her and Kate made her way through the cell block and up onto the catwalk.
Time inched by. She had scanned the woods continuously, only stopping when someone came out to check on her.
Rick had just come out, rifle in hand to see if she needed a break, when they spotted movement in the trees. Rick raised his scope as she peered through the binoculars. It was Michonne and she was alone. Kate felt like she was going to be sick. She couldn't imagine a scenario where Michonne returned that didn't include Daryl being dead.
She and Rick headed down through the cell block and into the prison yard. She was sure her legs would fail her, but somehow she kept up with him. He was still unlocking the gate for Michonne when Kate started peppering her with questions.
"Where's Daryl? Did you see Daryl?" Her own voice sounded foreign to her as she tried her best to not betray the panic she was feeling.
Michonne eyed her quietly. "He went after his brother. Said to not let anyone go after him."
"Where is Merle?" Rick asked.
"I don't know. He let me go." She turned to Kate. "Told Daryl the same thing and he took off."
Although Michonne's explanation was an improvement on Kate's initial conclusion, it did little to relieve her worry. She knew Daryl would stop at nothing to help his brother. She looked out at the woods and took a deep breath before turning back to them.
"I'm glad you're back Michonne. You belong here. You are one of us." She gave Rick a pointed look before turning and heading back to the walk to wait.
Kate was unaware of just how much time had passed. Maggie had come up to ask if she wanted some food, but Kate wasn't interested. Ever since Michonne had exited the woods without Daryl, her stomach had been churning.
She was going over the various scenarios for the millionth time when she saw him. With his crossbow over his shoulder, he stepped out of the woods and headed up the drive.
She stood up quickly, nearly tripping over the crate and she yelled down to Rick, "Open the gate! It's Daryl!"
She flew through the door into the cell block. "Daryl's back!" She called to everyone as she climbed down the stairs to the common room, running to the sliding door and out into the yard.
Daryl was heading up to the door at a quick pace while Rick was behind him locking the gate. Kate ran to him, "Daryl!" she said with great relief, but he walked right past her without a word or even a glance in her direction. Kate stood frozen, bewildered, her mouth hanging open and tears forming in her eyes. She looked to Rick who eyed her uncomfortably - a mix of compassion and sorrow. He approached her, laying a hand on her shoulder and saying quietly,
"Merle. He didn't make it. Daryl had to put him down." He walked to the prison block and Kate lamely followed.
Daryl didn't come out of the cell block for the rest of the night - skipping dinner and not saying a word to any of them. Normally Kate would have gone to him, found whichever cell he was holed up in and asked if he needed anything, but after his reaction to her in the yard she decided to give him his space. She didn't want to push herself onto him if he needed to be alone and honestly she didn't know if she could handle the rejection again. The group was particularly somber that evening. No one pretended that they loved Merle so much, but they did all love Daryl and they were devastated for him. They also knew that the Governor was going to come for them and soon. Rick elected to take watch that night and Hershel joined him.
Kate said goodnight and with a sympathetic look from Maggie and Beth she left the common room and headed to her cell. She pulled her flashlight from the back pocket of her jeans and clicked it on, heading up the cell block stairs. Daryl wasn't in his normal spot at the top of the stairs and she wondered where he'd holed up for the night. She entered her cell and let out a startled gasp. Daryl was sitting on the floor against the wall opposite her bed. His knees were up and his forearms rested against them. She shone the light on the ceiling so she could see without blinding him. His face was swollen and his eyes were red.
"Oh Daryl" She said, her voice full of compassion. She dropped to her knees in front of him. He grabbed onto her like he was drowning, burying his face into her stomach, stifling sobs. She cradled his head in her arms, planting comforting kisses on his hair. She wasn't sure how long they remained that way, but she heard some of the others make their way to their cells for the night. Judith woke and made a fuss and they could hear Beth singing a song in her clear voice. After his sobs had turned to sniffing and his grip had slowly lightened, he pulled away from her just enough to look up at her face.
"Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Of course."
Kate stood and held her hands out to Daryl to help him to his feet. He stood and they hugged each other tightly. The bunks were narrow and not ideal for two people, but it didn't matter that night. Kate scooted to the end of the bed and Daryl laid down. She moved to his side, his left arm around her shoulders, her head on his chest just under his chin. She placed her hand over his heart, feeling it beat and fell asleep.