CHAPTER 16 –

- Daryl -

Daryl didn't sleep much. He wasn't sure how much of that was because of Merle or how much had to do with sleeping next to Kate. Daryl wasn't used to sharing a bed with anyone. Before, on the occasional night he actually ended up staying over with some woman, he was usually too drunk to remember. They probably were too. So he never really knew what it was like to just hold someone. Smell them, feel their soft skin, listen to their quiet breathing.

Once Kate was asleep there in the dark, tucked into his side, it was like his senses were alive. He hadn't known what he needed when he asked her if he could stay, he just knew he couldn't lay alone all night with nothing but the image of Merle staring up at him with those empty eyes. He needed the distraction and it worked. But even here with her, it was hard to escape the ache he was feeling in the middle of his chest.

Merle was far from perfect, a fucking asshole on most days, but for most of Daryl's life Merle provided the only love he got. Merle always looked out for Daryl, in his own way. The Dixon brothers were loyal, if nothing else. But now it was just him.

After the incident on the roof, when Merle was just gone, Daryl told himself he could look for him. As soon as things were secure, after they found Sophia or when the Randall issue was under control, but now there was no one to search for. Without Merle, the one constant in his life, Daryl felt a little untethered. When he had grabbed onto her last night, in a way he was trying to keep a grip on reality, remind himself he mattered to more than just Merle. Laying here now, he did feel embarrassed at his behavior. At pushing her away, only to cry like a pussy in her cell. Would she see him differently now? Were they past worrying about these things? For Daryl, he needed her more than ever and he had already committed himself to her in his heart. He didn't know if she felt the same way.

He could tell she was awake now, even with his eyes closed. He had been listening to her breathing most the night. He opened his eyes and sure enough she was looking up at him sleepily with her bright blue eyes. Suddenly he wanted much more than to lay here with her, but he also felt like running.

"Good Morning." She whispered.

"Morning." He said quietly. In close quarters like these a whisper could carry and he wondered what the rest of the group had heard last night as he cried. The claustrophobic feeling tugged at him again.

"I gotta go talk to Rick. Get somethin' to eat." He whispered against her hair.

"Ok. I'll be down in a minute."

He pulled himself away from her and immediately missed her warmth. He was still fully dressed, just needed to put his boots on. He exited Kate's cell, with a quick look back at her lying on the bunk, and ran smack into Carol who was coming out of her spot two doors down. She was so quiet he didn't even hear her.

"Good Morning." She said, her lips in a tight line and her eyes going quickly from his face to Kate's cell.

He nodded awkwardly and waited for her to go down the stairs before he headed down. He didn't want to end up in a conversation about Merle or his sleeping arrangement. He knew he couldn't duck it forever, but he wasn't ready. Although he was in a better place than he'd been yesterday, he was still struggling with Merle's death. Right now it didn't feel real. If he had lost Merle before the turn he probably would go on a bender for days and hole up wherever he and Merle were crashing at the time.

In the new world, if he had learned anything, it was that nothing stopped for death. You had to keep moving forward or you would be dead too. Maybe it would just be easier if he told himself Merle was still out there, like before. Like he wasn't gone forever.

Once downstairs, Daryl grabbed some dry cereal and a bowl. He was relieved to find Carol nowhere in sight, but Beth and Hershel were there and one of them had made coffee. Hershel approached him quietly and looked sincerely into Daryl's face.

"Daryl, I'm sorry for you. I know that you loved your brother and he loved you."

Daryl nodded. Hershel walked off, already moving expertly with his crutches. Daryl was relieved that Hershel didn't require anything more from him. He also appreciated that he didn't try to dress up his opinion of Merle for the benefit of sympathy. Daryl remembered when his father died; his father's sister came in from Tennessee. He remembered her dabbing her eyes with Kleenex and saying something to him about what a good person his father was. He glared at her, his scars feeling like they were tingling as if in protest of her empty words.

Hershel didn't love Merle. Merle was responsible not only for bringing the Governor down on them, but he had taken Maggie to him. He didn't know exactly what happened to her, but it wasn't good. Hershel's kind words to Daryl, in spite of that, raised his opinion of Hershel in his mind even more, if even possible.

He sat on the steps between the cages, shoveling the bran flakes into his mouth with his fingers, gulping down the black coffee and the lump in his throat. He watched Kate head down the stairs a few minutes later, her tight jeans tucked into her boots, a navy long sleeved thermal with little flowers all over it hugging her curves. She smiled when she saw him watching her and he felt warm inside. Like he belonged with someone. Like she was home. He imagined she was now, for him anyway.

She grabbed some cereal and crossed the room towards him. She asked how he was. How he slept. He could tell she was trying to check up on him without being pushy. Despite their evening together, he could tell she was trying to give him space. He felt bad about how he had treated her when he got back yesterday, but he knew if he had stopped and given her the answers she was looking for, he would have broken down in front of everyone.

"I'm a'right." Was his short reply. She smiled and squeezed his arm.

"I'm gonna go find Rick. We've got to have a plan. Governors gonna be at our gates."

Turns out Rick did have a plan and the group quickly started working on it. They packed up their cells, which didn't take long given how little they had. They also packed up their remaining food. Everything went into the back of the Hyundai. Hershel, Beth, Carl and Judith were going to drive it into the woods and wait there. The rest of them were staying back. If things went bad, which was a big possibility, they'd meet up there and try and make a getaway.

The plan was to draw the Governor's group into the depths of the dark prison. Rick figured they'd either split up to search the prison for them, which would leave them weaker or so many of them would be pushing their way through the narrow, lightless halls that it would be easier to overcome them. Everyone took strategic positions - Maggie and Glenn near the infirmary with easy access back through cell block E, C and the catwalk, Michonne in the boiler room, Daryl and Kate in the generator room and Rick and Carol taking the cafeteria. They would use flash grenades if any of the Governor's people headed near their position, in hopes it would cause chaos and while they were scrambling they could get the advantage.

The Governor had more people, but less than he did (thanks to Merle), and they didn't know the prison. Maybe this would work.

The roar of their trucks coming up the gravel drive was their first warning before the Governor burst through their gates. By the time the bullets were flying, everyone was in position. It turned out it was a short fight. More noise and fear than war.

As Rick predicted, the Governor's people split up - one group headed towards the generator room and the other towards Rick and Carol in the cafeteria. Daryl rolled a flash grenade into the path of the group that headed their way and Kate flipped the switch for the alarms to blare like they did the day Lori died. He and Kate didn't have to fire a single shot, they just put their backs against the door and waited. Those Woodbury 'soldiers' started hollering, shooting and running. They were fleeing out into the yard in a matter of minutes. Maggie and Glenn took position, body armor on, and shot as they fled. The Governor and his people got back in their trucks and left.

After the retreat, the seven of them stood at the broken gate, having pulled it shut and pulling a chain through the links in hopes of securing it. They felt satisfaction at having chased them off, but Daryl knew the Governor wasn't they type to let it be. It was decided they'd follow to finish it. It was a risky move, at Woodbury they would be prepared and have the home field advantage, but they couldn't live in fear.

He saw Maggie and Glenn exchange looks and knew they had their doubts about the plan. Daryl took Kate aside, "I need you to stay here."

"No. I need to help, you guys can't go alone."

He looked at her, surprised at just how badly he wanted to keep her safe.

"I won't be able to do what I need to do if I'm worryin' about you."

She sighed and looked away. He knew she was worried about him, and although he knew he had no right to demand, much less ask, he hoped she would just stay.

"I'll be a'right." He lied, she knew it too. No one had a guarantee. "Please stay here."

"Fine." She said, resigned.

They walked back towards the group. Glenn was just telling Rick that he and Maggie were staying back, that they'd protect the prison if the Governor returned. Kate gave Daryl a pleading look, he knew she was hoping the new information would change his mind, when it was exactly why he'd pulled her aside in the first place. Before she got any idea that he had doubts, he spoke up.

"Kate is staying too. It's just the three of us."