Chapter 19

Kate

A little jolt, like electricity, ran through Kate's body when she looked around the prison yard and found she and Daryl were finally alone. They had headed up to the tower early, right after dinner was done. Since Rick interrupted them this morning in her cell, they hadn't had a chance to talk. These days there was always something to be done and Daryl was always needed somewhere. So at the first chance they got they headed to the relative solitude of the tower and as they watched their growing group take advantage of the last rays of sun they discussed how they'd filled their days apart. As usual, she did most the talking, asking Daryl questions until she had enough information to satisfy her curiosity about his run, filling him in, without prompting, on all the things she'd done in his absence.

Mostly though, Kate was thinking about tonight when she and Daryl would finally get some time alone and just exactly how she planned to use it. She couldn't remember the first time she had actually thought about having sex with Daryl. If she had to guess, it was during the days when Sophia had first gone missing. He was trying so hard to find the little girl, becoming less of a loner and more an actual part of their group. She found he wasn't as intimidating to her away from his brother. On the day they were all searching the woods, the day Carl ended up getting shot, Daryl took the lead. She knew that he was a tracker, knew that it was his hunting that kept them fed on most days, but she had never been with him in the woods, he usually went alone. She had little knowledge of what it entailed, being from a city, and navigating it for the first time under these circumstances was frightening. They had all trudged nervously through the overgrowth, on edge, not sure what they might run into. But not Daryl, he strode ahead confidently. He was in control, focused and fearless. To see him in his element like that was impressive and she felt safe with him out there.

Later in the day, after they'd split up to search for Sophia, Maggie, a stranger to them at the time, had frantically ridden up to them on horseback insisting that Lori come with her, that Carl had been shot. Daryl demanded she stay, "We don't know this girl. You can't get on that horse!" There wasn't going to be any stopping Lori of course, she was a mother fearing for her child, but Kate didn't miss the fact that he was being protective of a member of their group and she found it endearing.

After that, during their days at the Greene farm when they had more time than they knew what to do with, she found herself watching him closer, daydreaming about the way he walked or the way his strong arms looked when he was aiming his crossbow. What they might feel like wrapped around her. There was no intention behind it at first. Daryl Dixon was still the surly redneck he had always been. She could never imagine herself actually being with a guy like him. It was just a way to pass time, or at least that is what she told herself. If she knew then that she would eventually be perched in a prison tower about to give into all those fantasies, she would have been shocked. The only thing that might have surprised her more would be just how much she loved him.

She had been standing at the railing staring off into the trees, lost in her memories of Daryl stalking through the woods, when she looked around the yard and saw that they were alone. She turned to find him leaning against the guard tower, watching her. He had a way of looking at her that sent desire shooting through her bones and she felt her face go red. A small smile quirked the ends of her mouth and she walked slowly over to him, her stomach flip flopping a little with each step.

"Looks like everyone has gone in for the night." She said as she ran her hands up his shoulders before interlinking her fingers behind his neck and kissing him. She looked up at him meaningfully and took his hand to lead them into the seclusion of the shack when he pulled her back to him.

"Kate." Something in the tone of his voice, the look in his eye was suddenly vulnerable. He swallowed hard. "You sure you want this? With me?"

She laughed a little, underestimating the weight of this question. "Daryl, I've spent the last 9 months imagining how many ways I want this."

He breathed out heavily, but remained serious. "Once this is done, it can't be undone."

She felt confused and pulled away from him. "Don't you want this?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

He looked at her carefully.

"Mmm Hmm. 'Bout as much as I've wanted anythin'. But I'm not a fool Kate. I know this ain't exactly a fair trade."

As the realization of what he meant hit her, her heart ached. How could he think so little of himself? She wanted so badly for him to believe just how worthy he was of love.

She stepped into him again and took his rough face in her hands. He met her eyes cautiously, shame lurking just behind his.

"Daryl. I know you. I see you. And yes, I want this." She shook her head with disbelief and her eyebrows were knitted with concern . "Can't you see how much I love you?"

His eyes widened slightly at her confession and the hesitation that was there was replaced by something new. What she wasn't exactly sure - Relief? Gratitude? Devotion? He captured her face and responded with a punishing kiss. She met it passionately, grabbing hold of him tightly and trying to wordlessly echo the feelings she'd just admitted. He walked her backwards towards the door. Running his hands down her back, he grabbed her by the back of her thighs, lifting her to him. She wrapped her legs around him, and they disappeared into the dark room.

The guard tower was freezing, but for once she didn't notice, distracted by desire and the realization that this was actually going to happen. They'd clumsily pawed and pulled at each other's clothes, rushing to get them off and retreating under the thin prison blankets that were spread out on the floor.

Daryl made love like he did everything else - his movements driven by primal instinct and an intensity rolling off his body. There was nothing smooth or practiced about it, but his entire heart and soul was in it.

it was intense and emotional, more so than she had ever experienced before. A culmination of their need for acceptance and connection with another human being, finally belonging completely to someone else in the middle of this torn apart world. A physical manifestation of the devotion they had for one another.

And after, as they laid there exhausted and naked on the floor of that metal shack, high above dozens of hungry walkers, in the middle of the Georgia woods, she knew the significance of what had just passed between them and for the first time in so many months, she felt like she was home.

Daryl

Afterwards they laid there together, Kate curled into his side. She fell asleep quickly, but Daryl couldn't. Could someone be too happy to sleep? Is that what this was?

He was remembering the first time he saw her. She had showed up at the camp early in the morning the night after everything went to shit in Atlanta. She came with Shane's group. Daryl remembered how pissed Merle was when he found out Shane was a sheriff, knowing it would make his plan to rob the camp more difficult. Daryl had just shrugged. As usual he was along for the ride, Merle called the shots and he followed, but he didn't really see the point, there wasn't much to take.

Kate was hard to miss. She was beautiful, even with red-rimmed eyes and a tear stained face. She looked completely lost and scared to death. Merle, who had a knack for spotting the vulnerable, quickly pointed out that she didn't seem to have any family or friends with her.

"Goldilocks over there is all alone. Looks like she could use some comfortin'. Who knows what she'll do for a little protection."

Merle had taken it upon himself to introduce the two of them to her.

"Hi Darlin'. I'm Merle and this is my baby brother, Daryl."

"I'm Kate." Was all she said and Daryl saw the expression on her face as she looked back and forth between him and his brother. They made her uneasy. She felt threatened. He had seen that look hundreds of times before. Merle, always aiming well out of his league, would approach some girl at a bar and it always would be that same look. Daryl hated when he saw Merle headed towards one of those women because he always felt the rejection as if it had been him asking himself and not his dumb ass brother.

Unlike Merle, Daryl knew who he'd have a chance with and he stayed far away from the rest. Kate was definitely in the 'stay away' category. That first night at camp, with the fire low, he watched her sit comfortably with Glenn. They were talking and laughing and acting like they'd been friends forever even though they had just met. Daryl found himself feeling so jealous towards Glenn. Not because of Kate, but because people didn't feel threatened by him. People wanted to get to know Glenn, give him the time of day. Glenn got the pretty girl laughing at his side and Daryl just made her more scared than she had already been.

But here they were now, not even a year later and Kate was asleep in his arms. Her naked body warm against his.

And she loved him.

Thank God for the end of the world.

He couldn't remember when exactly she had stopped looking at him with fear behind her eyes, but he knew he'd never forget what her eyes looked like tonight when she told him she loved him. How long had it been since someone had told him that? Told him that and meant it? He honestly couldn't remember. He didn't know how badly he had needed to hear it.

Laying there with her he made a silent vow. He knew he had done a lot of stupid, fucked up things in his life, but for some reason, God, karma, fate, whatever, had decided that she belonged to him and he was damned if he was going to fuck it up. He would be a better man for her, he would love and protect her, build a life for them and spend the rest of his days trying to be worthy of this woman.