Chapter 39

A narrow beam of morning sun squeezed its way through a bent blind in the bedroom window and hit Daryl square in the eye. With a groan, he turned onto his side, pulling the pillow along with him to block the intrusion, but all intentions of getting back to sleep dissolved as he caught sight of Kate. She was lying on the pillow next to him, wide awake. As his eyes caught her's a content smile turned her mouth slightly.

It felt so good to be back with her that for a second he could hardly breathe.

"Good morning." She said, in barely more than a whisper. She had dark circles under her eyes that stood out in sharp relief to her milky white skin, which seemed even paler than normal and Daryl worried about everything she'd been through.

"Should've boarded the windows." He said, immediately regretting it.

She glanced in their direction with little concern before returning her gaze to him. She reached out and traced the cut that remained above his eye, before running the pad of her thumb against the bruise that ringed the other. Physical reminders of Joe's men and the night he almost lost his life at their hands. It seemed like so much time had passed since they'd been in that clearing, but his injuries were proof that it had only been days ago.

"Did you get these in that place? Terminus?"

When they arrived last night, after everyone had their reunion and the happy news of Maggie and Glenn's safety had been shared with Hershel and Beth, they'd all began to exchange stories of the time they'd spent apart. He'd let Carol do most the talking, noticing she skipped the part about not actually being at the prison when it fell. He didn't give a shit, there was plenty of the story he wasn't ready to share yet. Not in this room with people he didn't know, so if Carol wanted to tell it her way he was happy to let her. But his silence allowed for large holes in the story and he knew Kate would want to know it all.

"Nah." He said, taking a second to determine whether the news of his encounter with Joe's men would upset her, until he realized their death was news he wanted to share. "Came across Joe and his men again."

He watched the news sink in, her eyes widen slightly and then her brows knitted like they always did before she launched into a thousand questions about something. He didn't let her get that far.

"They're all dead. Everyone one of 'em. We ain't gotta worry about 'em anymore." He tried to say it with finality, he didn't want to go into it all, not yet anyway.

She let out a deep breath. "Good." She leaned in and kissed him where a fist had split his lip. "I worried about them a lot when I was looking for you."

He nodded, and swallowed hard, feeling guilty for the millionth time that she had to be out there without him at all.

"Jesus, you really went through it." She said as she pushed his hair away from his face.

"You weren't havin' no picnic yourself. You ok?" He was afraid to ask, but he knew he needed to. Still, it seemed to come off too casually, as if she'd tripped on the rug and he was being polite.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling and suddenly Daryl felt like she was still lost, gone from him.

"I'm sad." She said in a quiet voice. "About the baby. But it was so much worse when I thought I'd lost you too."

Daryl didn't respond. He didn't know if he should, he was afraid anything he said would sound hollow considering he'd been such an asshole when he found out she was pregnant. Truth was he was surprised at how much knowing the baby was gone hurt him, but that wasn't a burden she needed to bear either. Instead he pulled her close, kissing her shoulder and wishing he knew what to say.

"When are we headed out?" She asked, freeing them both from the uncomfortable tension their silence had brought.

"Soon as we find somethin' to head out in." He said. "I know Hershel is real anxious to get back to Maggie and there are new people with the group, at the church, and they're real anxious to get on the road."

She stayed silent, her eyes still fixed to the ceiling. She didn't ask about the new people or what they wanted to be on the road for. He wished she would, he wished she would turn into him and ask dozens of questions he was unsure how to answer.

"We better get going then." She said, pulling herself from the bed and grabbing her jeans off the chair in the corner. He watched her dress, feeling grateful for the privilege and wondering if he'd ever stop thinking of how close he'd been to never seeing her again. She tossed him his clothes and left the room.

Daryl found a mini van, parked under a rusting carport, at a house up the road. There were two car seats inside, which he unbuckled and tossed onto the ground outside and a floor board full of stale goldfish crackers. He looked under the mats and behind the shade visor, hoping he'd be lucky enough to find the keys, but there weren't any. He thought he might head inside the house, see if they'd been left dangling from a key hook somewhere, but the risk wasn't worth his time when he could hotwire it just as easy.

The gas tank was three quarters full and he drove it over to the house, parking it up on the lawn next to the front porch where Josh sat on a metal lawn chair looking out over the yard.

"Mornin'" Daryl said as he got out of the van.

"Mornin'. Nice ride."

Daryl looked back at the boxy vehicle and snorted. He took the four steps to the porch in two and sat next to Josh.

"Mind if I smoke?" He asked.

"Not if you got one to spare."

Daryl pulled the wrinkled pack out of his front pocket and offered one to Josh. He lit a cigarette and handed the lighter over. They sat in silence, blowing smoke out over the railing.

"Thanks man, for everythin'." Daryl started, looking out over the trees and watching a flock of black birds soar through the sky. "Sorry for being such a dick on the way out here."

Josh screwed up his face and shook his head, dismissing the apology with a wave. "Ah, don't worry about it. I'm glad it all worked out, I'm happy you two are back together."

Daryl nodded. There was no way he could describe the way it felt to have Kate back again, and he had no intention of trying, but the thought of it made him incredibly grateful to this man.

"We're headin' out this mornin'." Daryl began again.

"Figured as much. I imagine Hershel wants to get back to his other daughter, but we'll miss havin' people around to talk to. Allison and Kate seem to have really hit it off."

"Come with us." Daryl blurted out, surprising himself in the process. "We got a guy, says he has a cure. I ain't sure if that's true, but we're headed up to DC to find out. It's a good group of people, survivors."

Josh took a long drag off his cigarette.

"I don't doubt the goodness of your people, and I thank you for your offer, but I think we are gonna stay put."

"You sure? You can't survive this world without people."

"Allison and I have managed pretty well. We've kept to ourselves, haven't drawn much attention. It's harder to do that in a group, and it sounds like you've had more than your share of trouble. We have a home, a water source, it ain't too hard to keep two people and a dog fed."

Daryl nodded. "Suit yourself man, just know that you'd be more than welcome. Rick, he's sort of the one in charge, Judith, that's his kid. I know he'd be as thankful as I am that you helped them."

"I appreciate it and you tell Rick that y'all' will always have friends here."

KATE

Kate squeezed Allison tightly and kissed the woman's cheek.

"You take care of yourself Kate."

"I will. Thank you so much. So, so much. I'll never forget you."

"I won't forget you either." Allison said, wiping a tear with her fingertips and sniffing. Josh put a long arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side.

Daryl stood at the open driver's door, looking completely out of place next to a mini van. Beth was already strapped in the backseat with Judith fussing on her lab and Carol stood watching Hershel climb in slowly, ready to give him assistance if needed.

Kate knew she'd drawn out the goodbyes as long as she could and so she turned away from Allison and slipped into the front passenger seat. Daryl started up the engine and Kate rolled down her window to wave at the new friends that they were already leaving behind. He slowly drove off the lawn, onto the road and away from the small brick house.

"God I wish they would come with us." Kate said, trying to hide her tears by voicing her frustration.

"I wish they would've let us take them back to their house." Beth added. "Seems silly to risk walking all that way."

"Nah, they don't want to draw any attention to their place." Daryl explained. "Someone'll notice a van quicker than two people and a dog pickin' through the woods."

Another day, another goodbye. It seemed it was all they did anymore. Kate tried to comfort herself with the fact that they were actually able to say goodbye, that she was able to thank them for their help and that at least she could imagine them living there, happily ever after, for as long as she wanted to.

She sat quietly, staring out the passenger side window as the route, dotted with mailboxes and paved drives, gave way to thick trees.

"So this man with a cure," Hershel had started. "Has he bothered to explain it to anyone?"

"In very vague terms." Carol explained. "But the two that are with him, Abraham and Rosita, they are convinced that they are on a mission to save the world."

"And Rick sees no problem with following them to DC?" Hershel asked again, his voice heavy with doubt.

"Guess he figures there isn't much left for us here." Carol replied.

Kate wasn't sure she liked the idea of going to DC. There was a weird part of her that wanted to be in the last place her family knew she had been, but she didn't have the energy to raise the question. She let out a long sigh.

"You ok?" Daryl asked quietly, taking his eyes off the road to look at her, his eyes worried and searching. He rested his hand in her lap. It was so comforting to have him there, to touch him, to feel the weight of his arm. An anchor, a reason to keep going.

She gave him a small smile and shook her head. They were back together, that was all that mattered now. She'd go wherever he went.

Beth tried to figure out just how they'd all been separated so thoroughly, remembering the events of the fall of the prison and asking Daryl and Carol exactly what they remembered, but their responses were so unenthusiastic that she abandoned her effort and turned her attention to Judith.

Hershel continued to consider the trek to Washington, musing about colder winters and what unknowns they might face. Hershel trusted Rick, so his doubts came off more like strategizing than refusal, but his hesitancy did little to calm Kate's own misgivings about the decision.

They stopped twice on their way back to the group, once to clear a path on the road, using the opportunity to syphon and fill up their tank from the abandoned cars and once to wait out a herd that ambled slowly across the highway. As they sat parked quietly a quarter mile out in the shade of the pines, watching the gray figures drag themselves slowly and pointlessly across the asphalt, Carol offered to drive. Daryl started to refuse, but Kate was tired and the idea of settling in the very back of the van and falling asleep next to him was too tempting. He agreed easily enough and they all traded seats clumsily, avoiding opening the doors in case the walkers noticed them, until Carol and Hershel sat in front and Beth and Judith were settled happily in the middle.

Daryl sat, his elbow up on the window and his teeth working on his fingernails. Kate leaned into him, thanking God again that he was back with her and falling into a deep sleep as Carol started the engine back up and rolled back onto the highway.

"We're getting close." Carol said to Hershel from behind the steering wheel.

Kate had been awake for a few minutes now, but she'd kept her eyes closed and her face pressed against Daryl's arm. Kate was surprised at just how long they'd gone before she woke up, their journey was already over.

Dawn was breaking as Carol turned onto the road that would lead them to the church. As the tires went from the smooth blacktop of the highway, onto the older, country road, Daryl was jostled awake.

"What's goin' on?" He asked, shooting up quickly in the seat and looking out the window. "We here already?"

St. Sarah's Episcopal Church was small and white and Kate could tell that it had been beautiful before it's windows were boarded up. Carol drove the van between two wooden fence posts and onto the dirt, easing it slowly past the building and giving a curt wave to a large, red-headed man who noticeably relaxed when he recognized Carol behind the wheel. She parked around the back of the building, next to a white vehicle marked, 'church van' in black letters.

Carol slid out of the driver's seat and waited with her hands on her hips as the redheaded man walked towards the van. Kate and Daryl watched Beth slowly step from the back seat onto the dirt ground, Judith in one arm and her other hand planted on the side of the van so she could be as careful as she could with her healing ankle.

Kate wished she and Daryl could stay in the van, alone, together, for a few minutes longer. That she could leave the retelling of their story to Hershel and Beth and that they could slip in later, quietly, but Daryl was already grabbing his crossbow and jumping out into the sunlight. She followed right behind him.

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle." The man was saying, looking over their small group with a disbelieving grin, and then at Daryl. "You actually found them."

Daryl stared at him defiantly and nodded.

"Told you I would."

Kate caught Abe's eye and he shook his head with a laugh.

"This your wife?" He asked Daryl, shoving a cigar in his mouth and reaching out a beefy hand to shake Kate's. "I'm Abraham." He said around the cigar.

"I'm Kate."

His blue eyes twinkled with amusement and he nodded at Daryl approvingly.

"How'd things go here?" Daryl asked.

Abe's face turned serious.

"You're back just in time, some of us were headed out this morning, now we can all go at once. Could've used you last night, we had some trouble."

"Is everyone ok?" Hershel asked anxiously.

Before Abraham had a chance to answer they heard the sound of feet on the wooden steps of the church and the happy cry of Maggie's voice as she ran across the yard and threw herself into Hershel's arms. Hershel laughed and kissed the side of his daughter's face and she pulled away from him to hug Beth, both sisters smiling and ignoring Judith's uncomfortable whine from between their embrace.

"Judy!" Carl called out as he sprinted across the dirt lot, extracting his sister and eliciting more whines from the baby with his own squeeze. Rick was right behind him, a wide grin lighting up his worn out face as he bent to kiss her soft head.

It was Michonne who hugged Kate first, the woman's bright, sweet smile relieving Kate of any doubt that she wasn't ready to be back.

"It's good to see you." Michonne said. Kate had missed the peaceful sincerity of Michonne's voice.

Over Michonne's shoulder Kate noticed the rest of the group hanging back from those reuniting. There were four new faces, in addition to Abraham's, but the person who caught her eye was Sasha. Sasha stood stone faced, her arms hanging limp at her sides. She made no move to greet them. No indication that she felt any emotion at all watching these people she'd lived with and fought for happily hug their loved ones.

"Michonne." Kate said softly. "Is Sasha ok?"

Michonne looked over her shoulder and back at Kate. She shook her head.

The commotion outside of the church had started to draw walkers and the group made their way into the sanctuary, killing those that approached before they could cause any problems.

The church was a disaster. Some of the pews had been demolished, what remained of them laying in splintered piles near the back of the sanctuary. The organ pipes had been removed and placed in front of the doors like medieval spikes, empty tin cans were scattered all over the pulpit and there were several pools of drying blood on the carpet. The priest, still decked out in a full collar, stood helplessly at the back of the church like a lost puppy. His face was twisted in a permanent mask of disgust, as if he found their very presence abhorrent. Kate wondered if when they started their journey to DC, if he would join them, and if he didn't, what possibly could be left for him here.

Abraham strode up the aisle, brushing against her roughly in his haste.

"Rick!" He called out loudly, unfolding a large map as he walked. "Wanna take a look at this?"

He laid the map out and bent to study it. A petite woman, her hair pulled into two brown ponytails with a cap on her head, stood next to him with one hand on her hip. She watched Abraham trace out a route with his finger and she shook her head. He looked back down at the map before looking around the room in frustration and calling for Rick again.

Rick was standing at the side of the room, Judith in his arms, talking to Hershel and Daryl. At Abraham's bark he excused himself, handing the baby off to her brother and taking his time making his way to the map.

"Hey you." Maggie said happily, wrapping her arms around Kate and squeezing her. The two friends held onto each other tightly and then Maggie pulled away and studied Kate's face.

"How are you doin'?" Maggie asked. Kate feared the question was loaded. She wondered if Beth, or maybe Hershel, had told her about the baby. The last thing Kate wanted to do, right now, in a small room full of people, was talk about the miscarriage.

"So who's the girl with Abraham?" Kate asked, hoping Maggie would take the bait and leave the heavy conversation for another time.

Maggie looked to the front of the church where the duo stood, now joined by Rick, Daryl and Hershel.

"That's Rosita. They're together. They found Glenn passed out on the road outside of the prison."

"Do you like them?"

Kate watched Maggie consider the question.

"I trust them. They're tough. They've fought with us, they've helped us." She pointed across the room to a large man with a mullet sitting quietly by himself at the end of one of the remaining pews. "That's Eugene. The man with the plan. Did Daryl tell you about that? About the cure?"

Kate shook her head and watched the man. He looked dull, hardly how she imagined someone intelligent enough to fix this mess would look.

"So Abraham and Rosita have one goal - get him to Washington. They wanted to get on the road some time ago, but they want us to go with them. They've been frustrated. They were going to leave this morning - Sasha and Tara had agreed to go with them."

"Tara? Flannel shirt?"

Maggie shook her head. "You'll like her. She's really sweet."

The idea of getting to know anyone new exhausted her.

DARYL

Daryl stood next to Rick and watched as Abraham hunched over a map and traced his finger over a route he assumed would lead them to D.C.

"What do you think Daryl?" Rick asked.

Daryl stood with his arm crossed tightly over his chest.

"All the same to me man."

"Hershel?"

Hershel sat in the front pew rubbing his bad leg.

"So what's the plan if we run out of supplies on the way up there? What if we can't find enough fuel, that bus will need a lot."

"We'll find them on the way. We've been doing it since Texas." He explained, motioning to Rosita who shook her head. "I don't see why it won't continue to work."

"It'll be harder to find enough for, how many do we have?" Hershel asked, swiveling his head around and counting the people scattered about the church. "We have a baby, my daughter's ankle is injured and if you hadn't noticed, I'm short a leg."

Hershel smiled and pulled up the leg of his pants, exposing the metal bar that made up the bottom of his prosthetic.

"Look old man…" Abe started.

"Watch yourself." Daryl growled, annoyed at the disrespect in Abe's voice.

Rick put his hand on Daryl's arm.

"It won't be easy, and Hershel raises legitimate concerns." Rick started. "But, Abraham, I gave you my word that we'd go with you after Daryl found our people and that's what we'll do. We just have to be smart about it."

Rick looked at Hershel and Hershel nodded. There wasn't anything left to say.

"OK listen up people." Abraham boomed. The room fell silent. "We've mapped out a route that'll take us to DC, it won't be easy, we'll have to try to collect supplies and gasoline on the way up, but I know what you're all capable of. We'll get Eugene to DC and end this whole nightmare."

Daryl looked at Eugene who hadn't moved from his spot in the pews since they'd gone back inside. The man was expressionless.

Daryl wanted to call bullshit. He wanted to pull Rick aside and tell him that he thought the whole story of saving the world was ridiculous. Eugene looked like he'd have a hard time tying his own shoes, much less being able to reverse whatever the hell caused the dead to rise. But Rick had given Abraham his word and Daryl didn't have a better plan. They couldn't stay in this church forever.

Daryl looked across the room to where Kate sat talking quietly to Maggie in the pews. She looked tired and more sedate than the animated woman he was used to. He wondered what being on the road would do to her, if she was strong enough, healthy enough to endure it. He thought of Josh and Allison, making it work on their own and wondered if maybe Josh was right.

Rick slapped him on the back, pulling him abruptly from his thoughts, "Thank you for bringing them back. It's so good to have everyone together again. You ready to hit the road?"

Daryl nodded.

"Why don't you and Kate follow in the van. Maybe take a few others with you. I don't like the idea of one vehicle - don't want to get stranded."

It wasn't hard to figure out who would be riding in the van with them. Carol wanted to be in the church bus less than he did. He thought Father Gabriel looked like he'd prefer to go with them too, he'd started to open his mealy mouth as Daryl was looking for volunteers. The thought of putting up with that man for countless hours made Daryl panic and so he quickly singled out Michonne, asking her if she'd ride along with them.

Michonne gave a hesitant glance towards Carl and for a second he was sure she'd say no, but she agreed.

Kate was already in the passenger seat, sitting alone quietly and looking out the window into the trees that surrounded the church. He crossed the soft dirt ground of the parking lot and leaned into the passenger side of the van. Kate gave him a small smile, but stayed silent.

"You wanna go? To DC?" He asked.

Kate's smile faded and she looked towards the van where everyone they knew in this entire world was piling in for the journey and then back at him.

"I...I don't know."

"We don't have to."

"We don't?"

"We could stay. Find a place, maybe in the hills."

"Just us?" She asked, the doubt in her voice making his offer seem ridiculous.

"I don't know." He said, losing confidence quickly. He looked down and dug his boot into the dirt a few times. "I just ain't sure this is the right move."

"I feel weird about it too." She said, reaching for him and resting her hand on his arm. He looked up at her, relieved for the reassurance of her touch, for the fact that they felt the same way. "But I'm afraid to stay. I wish we had more time to think about it. I'm not sure I'm ready to say goodbye to everyone."

He nodded. He wasn't ready either. He thought that if she wanted to stay, it would be the strength he needed to do it, but if she wasn't sure either it wasn't going to work.

"Who's saying goodbye?" Michonne asked, walking up, her pack thrown over one arm. Carol rolled the door open on the driver's side of the van and threw her bag inside.

"No one." Daryl replied, not breaking eye contact with Kate. "Ready to go?"

Kate shook her head and he heard Michonne and Carol agree. He leaned in and kissed Kate quickly before shutting her door and heading to the driver's side.

"How long did it take to get from here to DC before?" Kate asked as Daryl pulled away from the church and took his place behind the bus. Carl peered down at their van from the back window and waved Judith's arm at them.

"I remember, in college, driving there in one night." Michonne answered. "Maybe 10 hours, 11. I can't say for sure."

"What was in DC?" Carol asked.

"My best friend went to Georgetown and she wasn't coming home for Thanksgiving. I remember she was down about it and so another friend of mine and I decided to surprise her." Michonne smiled at the memory. "One of those spontaneous things you can do before you have a regular job or kids."

She trailed off and stared out the window.

"We'll be lucky to make it out of fuckin' Atlanta in 10 hours." Daryl muttered under his breath.

The drive was painfully quiet. Anyone that had ever been in a car with Kate for any length of time would know that she wasn't acting herself and it was driving Daryl nuts.

He wished she would rattle on about something on the road that reminded her of life before or insist they all play some stupid road trip game. She hadn't even searched the van for clues about the life of the previous owner and that was something she always did. He thought it was weird and morbid, but it never failed. She'd pull the registration out of the glove box and read off their name and address before diving back in and looking for some other information. Right now he'd welcome the strange bits of trivia that she'd pull from the contents of the glove box, but instead her face was turned away from him, her mind a million miles away. Every once in awhile he'd ask her a question, try and coax a conversation from her, but her answers were short and he wasn't any good at keeping it going. His one comfort was her hand wrapped around his as he rested it on her lap.

They drove through the first day and night, only stopping to find gas or pee. They'd been lucky so far, finding plenty of abandoned vehicles near the city, but as they left the Atlanta area and found themselves in parts of the state that had been less populated, the vehicles weren't as plentiful. The church bus was old, loud and burned gasoline nearly as fast as it drew the attention of walkers. Daryl was on edge.

They were on a long two lane road, on the outskirts of a town that looked to have had few residents even before everyone was eaten, when the brake lights on the bus lit up and the behemoth came to a slow stop in the middle of the road.

"What now?" Daryl grumbled. He watched Rick jump down from the steps of the bus, look around before shouting something up to whoever was driving the bus now.

Rick headed towards their van, shaking his head and coming to a stop on the passenger side and leaning on Kate's open window.

"What the hell's going on? How many times we gonna stop?" Daryl asked irritably.

"Out of gas." Rick explained. "We're gonna head into town, find a place to stay for the night and see if we can find enough to get us back on the road in the morning."

They all let out frustrated sighs.

"I know, I know." Rick started. "But it might be good for us all to get a good night's sleep. I don't know about the seats in here, but those bus seats are hell to sleep on."

KATE

The town was small, but Kate could tell it had been nice at one time. It was in good shape compared to some of the ravaged places they'd been through. It had some walkers, like everywhere did, but there didn't seem to be as many and the town, although clearly deserted, didn't show any signs of looting.

It was a bookstore that they finally decided to hole up in for the night. They cleared it quickly and went to work securing it, pushing the rolling shelves of books in front of the plate glass windows and the doors, plunging the already dim store into darkness.

Kate sat on the floor, her back against a shelf marked, "Classic Literature" and watched Daryl's silhouette as he watched the street through a small slit in the paper they had used to cover some of the windows.

She could hear some of the others, laughing quietly at the front of the store. Being on the road, moving forward with a purpose, seemed to have lifted the spirits of most everyone, but she had no interest in joining them and Daryl didn't seem to either.

He was worked up. Too many hours on the road, too many hours behind the wheel. He'd done the lion's share of the driving, despite many offers from the rest of them to switch. She figured it was his way of being in control of something, which is why the countless stops to search for fuel and the ultimate decision to stay for the night were so frustrating to him.

She wasn't sure she wanted to stop either, but she was actually relieved now that they were secure for the night. The bookstore wasn't huge, but the rolling shelves enabled them to construct little pockets of privacy and she longed to have a moment to herself, away from the captive audience in the van where she had to hold it all in.

"Daryl, I think I'm going to go to sleep."

He looked at her and she could tell he was worried. "You ok?" He asked, the nervous energy finding a place to attend to.

She could hear it in his voice and fearing he'd insist on following her back to their chosen spot between Science Fiction and Thrillers, she mustered up the most confident voice she could.

"I'm good. Just really tired and looking forward to stretching out and getting a good night's sleep."

"Want me to come with you? Told Rick I'd take first watch, but I could switch with someone."

She stood up and joined him at the window, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"No. It's totally ok, finish up watch. I'll see you in a few hours."

She could see the look of hesitation he gave her, but she kissed him and walked away before he had a chance to insist.

The aisles were short and narrow, and as her flashlight beam illuminated the shelves of colorful books she thought about how access to all them would've been a dream come true when they lived at the prison.

The memory of the prison stabbed at her heart and out of habit she pursed her lips and shoved the urge to cry deep inside, before giving herself permission to let the tears that had been threatening all day to fall.

She sat on the rough carpet between the shelves and clicked off her flashlight. A peal of laughter rose over the shelves and she heard someone struggling to suppress a giggle after someone more aware of their risk of drawing walkers thought to shush them. She felt incredibly lonely.

She wished that she could talk to Allison. Allison was the only one she knew that would understand. She had been so afraid that someone was going to ask her about the baby, but she never considered how it would feel to have it forgotten. Allison had warned her about how hard it seemed to be for people to acknowledge the loss of a pregnancy, and that was before the world was just non-stop death. What right did she have to be so devastated about someone she had never met when everyone left had lost someone they loved?

Daryl's flashlight suddenly illuminated the shelves around her. He made an effort to avoid shining the light right in her eyes, but she squinted and looked away, until he was standing over her. He set the flashlight upright on the shelf and the light bounced softly off the ceiling.

Kate wiped at her red, tear stained face with the back of her sleeve and avoided Daryl's concerned face.

He dropped a pile of sky blue t-shirts onto the floor next to her.

"Thought these might help you sleep, found 'em in a box in the back."

She picked one up, less interested in what was on the shirt than the opportunity to have something to do other than sit there and look pitiful. 'I'd rather be reading' was scrawled across the front in white and there was a little stack of books next to it.

"Use 'em as a pillow?" He shrugged. "Or lay on top of 'em. I don't know."

"Thanks."

She thought he might turn and head back to the window to continue staring into the darkening streets, but instead he settled across from her on the ground, leaning against the opposite shelf of books.

She looked anywhere but his face, busying herself by folding the t-shirts and watching him from the corner of her eye. He cleared his throat and then again. Just as she started to feel annoyed that her one chance to grieve was being snatched away so they could sit here in silence, he spoke.

"I wanted that baby too."

She dropped the t-shirt she was folding into her lap and sat still. Her mouth turned down involuntarily and hot tears rolled down her cheeks. It had never crossed her mind that Daryl might be grieving too. She'd taken to heart the words Rick had spoken to her weeks ago in the prison garden - that men don't become fathers until the baby is born and because of that she didn't even resent the fact that the loss seemed to be a burden she had to bear alone. She had been almost glad that Daryl had been spared the pain that she was working through. It was clear that he was worried about her, but it never occurred to her that he was hurting too.

She raised her head to look at him. He stared back at her, his eyes dark and intense. She shook her head, accepting his offering.

He looked away, sniffing loudly and rubbing his fist across his eyes and she was up on her knees, crossing the short space between the shelves, falling against him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Rise and Shine!" Abraham barked from the end of the row where Daryl and Kate slept. "Gotta hit the road!"

Kate groaned and buried her face in the pile of t-shirts she'd slept on all night. Her eyes felt like they were swollen shut, no doubt from crying so hard, for so long the night before, and her head was pounding. Daryl propped himself up one elbow and rubbed at his face.

"That guy is really starting to annoy me." Kate said through gritted teeth when she was sure Abraham had moved on. "Is he always like this? How does his wife deal with it - wait, are they married? Do you know if they knew each other before all this?"

Kate realized there was a lot she didn't know about these new people they were following to God knew where and she was suddenly curious.

Daryl smiled, the little half smile that quirked up only one side of his mouth, and he leaned down to kiss her.