Sylvia Wayne "Wildcat"
Mt. Justice
October 23, 2010
The television was on, but no one wanted move to connect the cable, so the black screen read: NO SIGNAL, the white letters highlighted in electric blue. My mind seemed empty, numb from everything as the sound of M'gann mixing batter lulled me to atleast try and relax. If I were to look around, I would see Kaldur leaning against the countertop of part of the kitchen, his arms still crossed as they were an hour ago. Robin would be sitting in one of the comfy chairs next to the couch, staring off into blank space while his mind tried to be cold and calculating, just as has been doing for going on two hours now. Artemis would be leaning on the corner of the couch, closest to Robin, just staring at the floor, the thoughts running through her mind just as befuddling and upset as the rest of us.
Wally was sitting on the couch, leaning back with his legs outstretched into the space ahead and his arms draped over the back of the couch. I sat, curled up in a ball with my back leaning against Wally, my fingers tracing the lines on his cast as I pulled my knees tighter into my chest. No one dared move, aside from M'gann, whom I assumed was to afraid to stop moving, to leave herself alone with her thoughts. She was the main point of our collective downfall. I understand that she had no control, but her sheer ability to maintain the belief that everything was real made me afraid for what would have happened if J'onn didn't stop her.
One by one, each of us were being called into the waterfall room, starting with Artemis. As she left, Kaldur finally moved, sitting down in one of the chairs at the glass dining table. When she returned, Kaldur was next. I felt more empty now that Wally wasn't beside me. I just sprawled out upon the couch, laying on my stomach and burying my face in the cushion as I waited for my speedster to return. When Robin left for his turn with Canary, Artemis ended up turning on the cable to the television, but we all just seemed to be absentmindedly watching the news as Cat Grant did some fluff piece about A man in Taiwan who saved a kindergartener from oncoming traffic.
When Wally returned, it seemed like he was a bit more at peace, but he was still getting in his own head. When he sat down, I was unexpectedly pulled across his lap, my legs draped across his while my head tucked into the crook of his neck. His arms were tight around me, his fingers interlaced so they'd stay together. It was like the redhead was refusing to let me go. But I didn't mind, as it seemed that the constant physical contact was keeping the dark thoughts in my mind at bay. Soon Robin returned, waving me on to join Canary in the waterfall room. Wally's arms fell limp as I got up, a sigh escaping my lips as my feet dragged across the stone floor. When I reached the room, I could barely bring myself to open the door, but sure enough I did, dragging feet as I went for the green chair across from Canary, plopping down and slouching into the back cushion. Canary just looked at me for a moment as I remained silent.
"The simulation, Manhunter tells me that you may have been more self aware than the others." The blonde looked at me expectantly, but the statement caught me off guard. The gears in my mind began to turn, remembering things, but I couldn't open my mouth, everything was screaming within my mind at once. I couldn't quiet my thoughts long enough to say what I wanted to say. I felt detached, and my mind was spiraling. "Cat, I know this is difficult, but I need you to concentrate. I can't help you if you don't vocalize what's bothering you." She pushed again, waiting for a response. I felt trapped in my own body, memories bouncing around, fighting for control. It seemed like everything stopped, even the sound of the waterfall.
"Subject Kilo is continuing to resist treatment. Electroconvulsive therapy and the Super Toxin 451-A will be introduced in attempts to access the subconscious and create a more compliant subject." A blonde scientist in a labcoat spoke into a recorder, his surgical mask clinging to the skin under his chin. I tried to call out, to scream, but there was a muzzle fastened to my face. My muffled cries would never be distinguishable on that recording if it was ever discovered. I was helpless as I thrashed about, trying to escape the restraints I was in as someone applied wires to me, hooking me up to a vitals monitor. The muzzle was soon removed, and in its place was a thick, rubber mouth guard. Soon there were wires attached to my forehead and the back of my neck. A machine whirred to life as someone else placed a syringe in my forearm, injecting the bright yellowy orange liquid into my arm.
"Initiating Electroconvulsive therapy at twenty-five percent." Someone else said as they flipped a switch. My vision blurred as I went rigid, biting down as I tried not to scream from the pain. "Vitals are holding, proceeding to fifty percent." The voice seemed optimistic as I began convulsing. "Continuing, and stopping at seventy-five percent." The dial turned and my eyes fluttered, a strangely strangled groan was produced in my throat as my body shuddered in spasms.
"Subject Kilo is responding as intended, switching off the treatment in 3…" I could feel my eyes rolling pack into my head as I jerked. "2…" The voice frightened me. Clouded dark thoughts were rolling through my mind with images of the other experiences I've had in this hole. "...1." The electricity stopped, my body going limp on the table. Someone grabbed my jaw while another snapped and flashed a light over my eyelids. As my eyes drifted open, everything seemed to be bathed in red. But the faces of the scientists glowed white hot against the black, shadowy background. What I was seeing was like a glitch in a computer, Everything shifting to the left for a split second before shifting back.
"The subject seems to not be responding to Scarecrow's provided fear toxin. Pupils are dilated and heart rate is rising at a slower rate. Repeat the process and we'll go work off of her next reaction to the treatment." The scientist said as another glowing golden syringe was placed in my arm.
"Sylvia, I need you to work with me." Canary said, my eyes snapping up from the floor. My mind was quieter now, but there was still so much bouncing around.
"Repeat what you said earlier. I'm having trouble focusing." I finally spoke, my voice suddenly hoarse. Canary seemed to be picking up on my troubles.
"I was told that you may have been more self aware than the others." She repeated, slowly, like she was making sure I would understand what she was saying.
"I… I mean it's possible. I was… confused as to why I wasn't grieving when Batman died." I replied, sitting up slightly in the chair.
"Not just that, you didn't seem to fear dying in the simulation. You knew you wouldn't make it out, and you accepted it." The tone in her voice was unsure. But if it was for my answer, it made sense that she was unsure.
I was laying on the table, strapped down and secured, the fight no longer prominent in my limbs. I was weak, even my skin feeling like my bones would break through at any moment. Someone entered the room as I laid in silence, not moving a muscle. A scientist stood beside me, checking the vitals on the monitor. He pulled out a recorder and began to speak as my vision blurred, his face morphing and distorting as black ooze dripped from his eyes.
"Subject is responding well to Super Toxin 451-A. The combination with the Electroconvulsive therapy is giving the desired results of the client. Restraints are being released, and order testing will be initiated." As he spoke, his voice distorted to a sort of deep echo. Another scientist stepped into the light and began undoing my restraints. There was a new spring of energy in my system. The moment I was completely free, I sprang from the table, attacking the assistant. He cried out, but I couldn't think as his teeth seemed razor sharp, his eyes black and freezing, like they were sucking the heat out of the air. I pinned him to the ground, my hands on this through, adrenaline pumping through my veins.
"Monster!" I screamed as I tried to choke the life out of the man. The other scientist tackled me to the ground, but I kept screaming, kept fighting. After I was secured back onto the table, I was left alone with the main scientist. He grabbed my chin and leaned in closely, my hallucinations of the black ooze pouring from his eyes even more prominent now. His tongue flicked about like that of a snake's, his teeth sharp and elongated.
"We're not the monsters. Think of us like Dr. Frankenstein, and you're our beautiful monster." He whispered in my ear before backing off, pulling out his tape recorder. "The subject has resisted the treatment. The Super Toxin will have to be cured and a new method will be assembled for creating compliance." He clicked off the recorder, and left me alone in the lab, still strapped to the table.
"Cat, why did you accept dying?" Canary asked, snapping me back. I thought for a moment and gave her a hard look.
"I accept death because it better than the torture of being on the verge of death, and no one knows that better than I do." I said, digging my claws into the chair, trying to stay calm as the disorder in my consciousness continued, causing me to freak out. I kept thinking about the tank. My breathing was becoming labored as I felt like my lungs were filling with water. But the memory of the electricity kept combining with the fear conditioning. I could feel myself shaking as I remembered the pain.
"I know this is hard for you, and I don't want to make it any worse, but where do you keep going?" She questioned, but I just dug my claws further into the chair.
"I'm fine." I said, but it came out in breaths. I couldn't stop, the hyperventilation was taking over as I sat in the chair.
"No you're not. It could help to vocalize how you're feeling." Canary told me, but my subconscious had other ideas. It was like a jolt of electricity as I shot out of the chair, suddenly pacing around the room as I couldn't breathe. "Cat, please." She had a worried look on her face.
"It's everything at once and it won't stop!" I couldn't help but laugh as I threw my hands into the air. The sound struggled to escape my lips as I hyperventilated. My whole body was shaking as I walked about.
"Cat, you need to calm down, just sit in the chair and let me help you." She said in a calming voice, flipping to another scene.
"We're just helping you. You'll be perfect when we're finished." I could hear their voices in my head.
"No! You can't help me!" I yelled, running for the door. Canary tried to stop me, but I rolled between her legs a bolted out the door.
"Cat!" She called as I sprinted through the cave, but my vision blurred as the whole place seemed to morph into the lab, the maze of rooms filled with either dead or dying girls, rooms of torturous tools and machines. I ran past the kitchen, tears streaking down my face as my teammates turned into scientists with lab coats. I couldn't even hold onto the sight of Wally, his worried face watching me run. I managed to get to the mission room, but it shifted to the tank. I backed against the wall, scientists coming towards me, but I felt like I was in the tank all over again. I couldn't breathe anymore, my throat feeling like it had closed off.
"You need to calm down." One of the scientists flickered between the illusion and my father. Spots began to grow in my vision as I struggled to breath. I suddenly collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball, pulling on my hair. I couldn't stop shaking. Batman knelt down to me and started shushing me in a delicate manner. He put a hand up and the others left. I was alone with my father and he help me in a ball, crooning me in a soft voice. "You're okay."
"I… can't… breathe…" I huffed, pulling on his cape and bunching it between my fingers. He grabbed my hand and place it on his chest, breathing deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth. I watched him, matching him with my own breathing.
"You're going to be just fine." He held me closely and I uncurled from my ball, continuing to breath deeply.