Chapter 5, everybody! In which Wilson's intelligence is questioned and Willow attempts to get one of the Xbox achievements….
Don't Starve © 2013 Klei Entertainment
Portal © 2007 Valve
The first tests were rudimentary. That was fine; he could forgive them for that—the basics of the coming tests had to be demonstrated for those who weren't as high on the grade curve as he was.
Wow, the metallic male voice said flatly, after he solved Test Number Three in five seconds flat. That was the longest anyone has ever taken on that test. Ever. Are you sure you're not mentally impaired?
Wilson had spluttered at that indignantly. "Excuse me? I'll have you know I have an IQ of 120, I graduated with honors—I'll have your job by the end of the day!"
Subject…prone…to…violent…outbursts, the voice said, as though the tester were writing something down. Probably…due…to…substandard…brain…capacity….
It occurred to Wilson that whoever was supervising his testing track was saying that just to watch him roil. It took a great deal of effort, but he managed to swallow down his anger and march to the elevator.
As it went to his next test, he fought to get his blood pressure back down to normal, crossing his arms as tightly as possible. As he did so, his tongue probed a cavity of its own accord. The emancipation grid, as per the warning given, had indeed emancipated one of his fillings. And yes, he fully intended to file a complaint via the KVAS test subject services when this was all over with.
The elevator dinged, announcing the next test.
Wilson?
Wilson shook his head, driving the memory out of it. Ugh, the overwhelming familiarity of these first several tests, coupled with the lack of anything substantial to eat in…forever…was taking its toll on him.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, eyeing him with concern. "You've been acting weird…er."
Wilson rubbed the side of his face as the elevator ground to a painful halt, glancing about the ruined room. Plants had invaded, and water that he was sure was substandard—no matter how tempting—dripped down in places….
Wait….
"There's plants in here," he said.
"Duh," Willow said, forcing the elevator door the rest of the way open after it had stuck halfway. "There's been plants in all the test chambers."
"No, no, don't you see?" Ah, no she didn't—she had always been a test subject, not a scientist working behind the scenes such as himself. He swallowed and forced himself to continue. "The test tracks have…certain…chemicals…pumped into the air. They help to suppress hunger and fatigue in test subjects…." He faltered a moment under her glare, the one she used when she remembered that he was one of them, those who had robbed her of her freedom and stuck her here, even if he himself hadn't had a hand in it. "The point is, the test tracks are sealed, and the air is carefully circulated—for plants to get in…it means the seals have failed…."
She blinked. "What does that mean?"
He gave one of those wry grins of his. "It means we had better get out of here as fast as possible—otherwise, we'll die of one of two things: starvation or exhaustion."
She blinked again. "Right," she said finally. "I think it's time for you to use that big brain of yours to get us out of here."
Say, pal, do you have to trash every camera in the test chambers? I've got to supervise somehow.
"Not my problem," Willow shot, heading for the elevator. Ever since she had gotten the portal gun, she had taken a perverse pleasure in shooting down every camera she could find. Anything to aggravate those who had put her there.
The elevator was halfway to its next destination when it slammed to a halt and the lights went out.
Listen, pal, the voice hissed in the blackness, sounding dangerously close. You'd better start shaping up and acting like a proper test subject, or I'll make it your problem. Do I make myself clear?
She nodded. "Perfectly," she squeaked, hating herself for the weakness she was showing.
The lights came back on and the elevator began moving again. Good, the voice purred. I'm glad we had this little chat.
That had to have been the worst experience Willow had ever had in an elevator. It had prompted her stony silence, until she met Wilson and finally had someone to talk to who didn't insult or threaten her at every turn. Granted, her silence still hadn't stopped him—the maniac running the show had talked just to hear himself talk, heckling her—and later them—nonstop.
Ooh, how she hated him.
"Are you okay?"
Willow glanced up at Wilson. "I'm fine," she said, shaking her head. "I just spaced out."
Wilson made an understanding noise, then directed her attention to a hole in the wall, torn there by fallen panels.
"I believe I've found our way out," he announced.