The Things We Do For Science Chapter 38: The Lucky Charm, a Portal + Don't Starve Crossover fanfic

Chapter 38, everybody—in which our past narrative strays very far into the past…it'll make sense eventually….And did anyone else think that maybe there was something else lurking down in the depths there if a bird could survive?...

She reached a nicely appointed room—maybe a waiting room—and continued on, giving the pictures on the wall a passing glance.

Nerdy-boy Will was back on the mike, and she was enjoying trying to picture how he must look—big round glasses, maybe.

"O-okay, we're running a battery of tests today—those of you who will be testing the repulsion gel, please follow the blue line. Those of you who volunteered to be…injected with praying mantis DNA?" She heard the absolute confusion in his voice and laughed at his muffled what in the bloody—"Ah, there's a note here—the mantis-DNA tests have been suspended indefinitely, to be replaced with a new test: fighting mantis-men. 'Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line—you'll know when the test starts.' A-am I being punked?" Will sounded like he was facing away from the mike. "Is this some sort of hazing ritual for the new guy? What is this?"

Willow decided that she liked Will infinitely better than Cave Johnson or Maxwell, if only because he sounded…well, normal, and not totally insane for science. And here was hoping that he was being punked, since she didn't see any blue or yellow lines and she did not want to run into any mantis-men.

She walked out into a larger cavern—large enough that she couldn't see the other side through the haze—and noted the sign detailing the water's acidity as she stepped on the catwalk. Like she was about to go for a swim. Peh.

Another distant rumble as she wandered through the area, eyeing what looked like either a stairwell or an elevator shaft—that looked promising—

A distant shriek echoed back to her.

She looked about, startled—maybe there really were mantis-men down here—

"The message playing now is—well, if you take too long on the catwalks between tests," Will's voice played. "That's uh, psycho—what is this—it's a fear response, which is all right, as fear is a natural response, but you really should be moving along soon. The sooner you complete the test, the sooner it'll be over and we can all go home."

She liked the sound of that.

She turned, spotted a door that looked like it had been ripped open—

Fired a portal inside and then on the wall to peer in.

Bingo.

A way forward.

"I hate this."

"I suppose it's a little pointless for me to ask how your first day went."

"I'm doing a radio drama, basically," he muttered, flopping face-first on the Murphy bed. "I don't even get any second takes—it's 'I think I could do that better' answered by 'no, go on to the next one.' My ineptitude is to be recorded for posterity's sake."

"It can't have been that bad—what are you reading?"

"Listen to this," he said, sitting up to better consult the fan of papers he was holding. "I'm working for absolute psychos: 'Just a little note from the lab on what to do if you get covered in the repulsion gel: do NOT get covered in the repulsion gel. We don't know what element it is yet, but it's a lively one, and does NOT like the human skeleton.' What the bloody heck is that? And this one: 'Don't worry test subject: you're not part of the control group that got blue paint. One guy over there broke both his legs'—why even tell a person that!?"

"Can't you edit it or something? Spin it to be more positive?"

"I could barely string two words together! Whoever's listening to that tape is going to be treated to about an hour or so of me stammering! I can't hack it as a stage magician, and I can't hack it here."

"Now, don't feel that way." She crossed over and sat next to him. "You do perfectly fine when you're talking to me."

"You're different."

"How so?"

"You just are."

"You're more comfortable with me."

"That's true." He smiled a bit as she hugged him. "My lucky charm."

"I'm sure I'm a bit more than that. Hey, I've got an idea!" she pulled away to grin at him. "I'll go with you to work tomorrow!"

"I'm not sure if that's—"

"Whyever not?"

"There's a panel of guys watching me, remember?"

"Just tell them I'm there for moral support—and then when you're doing it don't look at them, look at me. Deal?"

He considered this. "I'll try…."

"That's all I ask."