The Things We Do For Science Chapter 45: Rescue, a Portal + Don't Starve Crossover fanfic

Chapter 45, everybody! Yes, I live! Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, but college takes precedence and my three pages a day had to go to whatever I had immediate motivation on. Fortunately, that inspiration swung back to this story, so I have a few more chapters to post, and with any luck, I'll be able to maintain an every-other-Thursday upload schedule until further notice (hopefully).

Crazy ASN, thanks for the review! My goodness, thank you for the review—it makes me so happy every time I read it! :D Thank you, I'm glad you like it—it just kind of made sense to have all four, and I'm glad it read well. :) Also glad that read well—it just came to me that way, and I liked it well enough to write it like that (and that too). Glad to hear I've got the gist of the characters right! :D Thanks again for the review, and I hope to continue to please! :D

They were close. They had to be.

Because the alternative was that they were just wandering around in circles and getting even more lost and wasting valuable time.

At least they were both giving each other the silent treatment—Willow wasn't sure she could handle stomping around in the dark with a running commentary about how stupid she was.

And then she hit another dead end and swore under her breath before banging her head against the wall. She did not need this.

What about following the pipes?

That might work…especially if we can find a ventilation duct—those have to run to the surface….

She frowned at the memory but looked up just the same. A jumble of pipes heading away.

She turned on her heel and walked back down the hall, noting that she had lost Maxwell somewhere along the way back there—nope, there he was, back to her and looking at something on the floor. She ignored him, ignored the unsightly holes those cables had left in him and the dark gray substance they were leaking, and headed down a different hall.

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you."

She juddered to a halt at the sound of Maxwell speaking for the first time in ages. "Well fortunately, I'm not you, and if I were, I'd throw myself off a bridge, because that would be horrifying," she spat, half-turning to glare at him.

"Cheers. I still wouldn't go that way if I were you."

"Why? Isn't it life-threatening enough for your tastes?"

"Last I checked, you wanted to avoid death."

"And you're taking a sudden interest because?"

"Oh, right, sorry—you don't care for my opinion. Fine then."

And then he toed something before kicking it over—she backed up at the sight of something white rolling over—

And then it rocked to a halt—

A skull. A human skull.

Her head buzzed at the sight. There was one consistency at KVAS, and that was that there were no bodies. Dead bodies were always relegated to the incinerator. Out of sight, out of mind.

This here…this was bad.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've had enough fun for one day," Maxwell said, rubbing his wrists like he was wanting to adjust suit sleeves but had none. "And to be honest, I'm also tired of wandering around aimlessly. I leave you now—I have an escape route with my name on it."

And with that, he started walking off. It wasn't fast, it wasn't painless, but it was with purpose.

She looked at him, back down at the skull, back at him, back to the skull. Toe it slightly….Wilson would know if it were real or not.

But Wilson wasn't here.

And she was running out of options.

"I must be out of my mind," she muttered.

And then she turned and ran after Maxwell.

They were on their way out. They were so close, so very, very close.

It was enough to tear his nerves to shreds.

He was absolutely convinced he'd screw up at the last second somewhere. And he could not afford to screw up at the last second. This was Charlie, this was his whole world. Without her, he'd die. Well, maybe that was exaggeration, but what he had before could not be called living—

"Gah!" he yelped, as something tackled him from behind.

"Easy, honey, it's just me," Charlie said, hugging him. "Hey, listen, after work today, I have something I want to show you."

He noticed the odd lilt in her voice—ooh, this was going to be good. "Really?" he asked, beyond intrigued. "What is it?"

"I can't tell you—it'd spoil the surprise."

"Oh, it's a surprise? Well, you can tell me—I'll still act surprised."

"Yes, well, this is the sort of surprise I want a camera handy for."

"Is it a new car?"

"I'm not telling."

"A new suit."

"Still not telling."

"Please tell me you didn't buy a trolley car."

"Max, give it a rest."

"Give me a hint, at least—is there confetti involved?"

"Yes. We used the last bag—the good stuff, even, because this is worth it. No more hints. Now get to work!" she said, in her best Cave Johnson impression, giving him a gentle shove. "We don't pay you to dawdle!"

"And the award for the best rendition of middle-aged CEO does not go to one Charlie Carter."

"Ha ha, flattery gets you nowhere."

"Excuses."

Charlie laughed and laced her arm in his as they walked in, and the idea of a surprise allowed him to ignore Lucian's next dig.

"Oh, so you finally decided to join us."

Willow grimaced at Maxwell. "If you've led me to my death, I'll kill you."

"I'd love to see the logistics of that."

"I'm sure—"

Her next retort was cut off by a scream. And not a pleasant one, either.

And it was one she recognized, too.

"I've been hearing that on and off," she said, looking at Maxwell—and noting his suddenly startled expression. "What is it?"

"Screechers," he said. Then, as an afterthought: "We should run."

Was he for real? Him, run? But he was hobbling along as fast as he could….

"What are screechers?" she asked.

"A mouthful of teeth with a bad attitude."

"So you, basically."

"Do you want to get eaten alive?"

"Are these going to be like the bunnies?"

"These are going to be worse."

Oh. Okay, she didn't want to be around here, then.

Except Maxwell didn't seem too sure as to where they were….

"Oh," he noised suddenly, looking up. "We're supposed to be up there."

She looked—there was a walkway up above, just out of reach, with portable surfaces—she readied the portal gun—

Something screamed close by, she spun to look—

Oh. Yeah, she could see how this could be worse.

Because the thing charging straight towards her was emaciated to the point that it was just skin on bones, the fingers were curled into claws, and the ragged feathered head housed sightless eyes and a furious gaping mouth—

She was frozen in fear, and thus it didn't fully register when she felt something seize her by the scruff of the neck and her belt until she was in the air and the handrail of the walkway was right in front of her—she hooked an arm around it quickly, hung on—

"Get off me!"

She looked down—Maxwell was furiously trying to keep the thing off of him, and the thing was equally furious in its endeavor to eat his face. She wondered if the thing knew it'd get food poisoning that way. Haul herself up….

Stop….

Aw, come on….

She shot a portal, looked back down—good, portable. Drop down, landing on the thing's back and slamming the handle of the portal gun into the back of its head, forcing it to roll off Maxwell, who let out a pained oouf! when Willow landed on him and shot a portal beneath him—

They tumbled out the other portal, which was swiftly placed above a steep drop—

And the screecher, in its attempt to follow, tumbled to its doom.

Disaster currently averted, she looked at Maxwell. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said flatly, laying there, eyes closed and hands over his middle where she had planted her feet on him, curled around the point of impact in pain. "Would it kill you to lose some weight?"

"Good to see you've retained your charming personality."

"Cheers. Now will you listen when I say where to go?"

She doubted it—one good act wasn't enough to save Maxwell in her estimation. However….

"Why did you save me?" she asked.

He slid an eye open to look at her—an I can't believe you asked such a stupid question sort of expression.

"I didn't have anything better to do at the moment," he said finally. "Although in retrospect, I should have let it eat you. But then again, the thing would have died of food poisoning."

"Funnily enough, that's why I saved you. Say thank you, by the way."

"Not in this life."

"Do you want me to let the next one eat you?"

"Next time I won't fling you out of the way," he grumbled, forcing himself into a sitting position before struggling upright. "Now come on, before that thing's buddies show up."

Willow suppressed a groan. Only KVAS would make more than one of those monsters.

But just keep moving forward for now, and keep her eyes peeled, and she'd be fine.

And hopefully, it'd keep her mind off the weirdness that was Maxwell saving her.