Thank you everyone for the continued reviews and follows! And to the guests who I'm not able to reply to, please know that I read and appreciate all of your reviews! So here we are - the chapter many of you have been waiting for. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Here we go...!
Arriving back at the Beacon Hill home Friday afternoon felt surreal. It had been months since Jane was here and yet it felt like only yesterday. She looked briefly around the home as she put her bags down and felt a lump rise in her throat. She swallowed and blinked a few times, embarrassed to be so emotional over a house. But she knew it was more than that. For several years, this house had felt more like a home than any other place she'd ever lived. And I've never even actually lived here, Jane smiled to herself. She had no idea she'd gotten so lost in her thoughts until she heard Maura calling her.
"Jane? Did you hear what I asked?"
"Hmm? What? No, sorry, Maur."
"What is it?" Maura's eyebrows knitted together in concern.
"Oh, nothing." Jane ran her fingers through her hair. "Nothing, it's just this house. It—it feels like home. It always has."
Maura felt her heart swell. "Especially when you're here."
The women shared a smile before Jane spoke again.
"What did you say? What did I miss?"
"Oh, I was simply interested in what you would like to do for the rest of the day."
Jane walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water; still knowing exactly where everything was.
"Well, I know it's not terribly exciting, but I'd really like it if we could have a typical Jane and Maura Friday night. Like if we had just finished a big case. Couch, take out, wine, beer, documentary or some awful foreign film that you love? Could we do that?"
"Of course. I would like that very much. However, I must say, we've never watched an awful foreign film."
Jane rolled her eyes at her best friend.
"We won't be couch potatoes all week. I have big plans for us tomorrow. Just you wait."
"Is that so? And are you going to tell me what these plans are?" Maura placed her hand on her hip.
Jane shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll make you…guess! Dun dun dun!"
Maura tried her best to give the brunette a stern look, but failed miserably and laughed at Jane's antics.
"You're incorrigible," she said as she poked the detective in the stomach. Maura reached for her phone and walked quickly out of the room. "I hope it's still funny when you're eating the kale salad I'm ordering you," she called out over her shoulder.
"Maura! What? No!" Jane yelled as she took off after her friend.
And so a typical Jane and Maura Friday night is exactly what they had. They sat on the couch, Maura with her wine, Jane with her beer (that Maura still continued to stock in her refrigerator), ate take out (Jane compromised and let Maura order her a side salad to go along with her burger and fries) and watched documentaries (no weird foreign films, which Jane was thankful for). As the night wore on the women found that they had unintentionally moved closer to one another on the couch. It was like a magnetic pull. The last thing either of them remember was sitting side by side, sharing a blanket, as Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder.
Maura was the first to awake the following morning. She opened her eyes and immediately saw Jane. They had fallen asleep on the couch, each on their side, facing one another; arms and legs tangled together as they apparently tried to get comfortable in such a narrow space.
Maura watched Jane sleep; her eyes greedily taking in every inch of her best friend's features. Jane looked peaceful. You're so beautiful, Maura thought to herself. She loved quiet moments like this – just her and Jane. Even if Jane wasn't awake yet, she loved when it was just the two of them. I want a lifetime of these moments. I need her with me always. Maura took a deep breath as she set her mind to what she needed to do; what she should have done years ago. Tomorrow. Tomorrow after family dinner I will tell my best friend, the person that is my everything, that I love her above all else. I will tell her that I am madly in love with her. I will tell her that even if she doesn't feel the same way, she will always have me as her best friend. As she thought about the grand proclamation she had just made to herself, Maura realized she didn't feel nervous or scared. If she had to be completely honest, she felt rather confident. Reminiscing upon their relationship, especially their time in Paris, Maura felt, deep down, that Jane felt the same way. Jane would say that was my gut talking. Maura didn't want to get too ahead of herself, but she let that light of hope in her heart shine a little brighter.
She reached out her hand and lightly ran her finger along the bridge of Jane's nose. Jane's face wiggled from the touch and Maura suppressed a laugh. Maura did this a few more times, thoroughly enjoying all the adorable little facial ticks Jane was making. She ran her finger down Jane's nose again, but this time she began to sing Jane's name in a whisper.
"Jaaaaane….Jaaaaane…"
Jane grunted and opened one eye. She was immediately struck by how happy and pleased with herself Maura appeared to be. Jane smirked.
"Mauuuuura…Mauuuuura…" Jane echoed.
"You're up! Good morning, detective."
"You mean professor, doctor."
Maura considered this.
"Perhaps. But you'll always be my detective."
Maura felt the heat in her cheeks reflect the same light pink blush she saw on Jane's features. They had been having a lot of these little moments and Jane was trying her best to not brush them aside with a joke or sarcastic comment. She smiled sweetly at Maura.
"I like that," she said softly.
"So, are you going to tell me where we're going today?"
"You'll know soon enough, Dr. Impatient. What time is it?"
"Nearly eight."
"Perfect. We need to leave at about 9:40. Let's make breakfast and get going. I'm excited!"
Maura eyed Jane suspiciously, but she couldn't help feeling excited too.
Today was the day. Today Jane was going to tell Maura she was in love with her. As she got ready that morning, Jane couldn't believe how dramatically her life would change in just a few hours. In 12 hours, I could have everything I've ever wanted, Jane thought. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face.
"We're going to the MFA?" Maura asked as Jane pulled into a parking space.
"Nothing gets by you, doctor," Jane teased.
"But you don't like the MFA."
"No, but you do."
The women got out of the car and walked towards the museum.
"And," Jane continued as she placed her hand on the small of Maura's back and guided her through the museum doors, "since the museum just opened, you have all day to spend at the Hyman Bloom exhibition."
Maura's face broke out into a wide smile. "Really?!" She bounced on her heels excitedly. "All day?"
I'll take her to the museum every day if it means I get to see that smile, Jane thought.
Jane found so much joy in Maura's excitement. "All day. They close at five, so you have seven hours if you want it."
Maura jumped into Jane's arms. "What a wonderful surprise! Thank you, Jane!"
Jane spent the day watching Maura wander through the museum like a kid in a candy store. She wasn't sure Maura ever took a breath, she excitedly rambled off facts and stories all day; her Google-mouth working at a rate even Jane had never before witnessed.
Her favorite moments of the day were when Maura would suddenly get excited about a new art piece and grab Jane's hand or interlink her arm with Jane's and pull her along to the next portrait. Sometimes Jane would take a chance and intertwine her fingers with Maura's as they walked through the halls. Her heart raced every time Maura squeezed her hand in return or softly rubbed her thumb over Jane's.
"Are you sure you're ready to go? It's only four," Jane said.
Maura looked again through the guidebook they received when they came in.
"Yes, I believe so. I've seen all of my favorite galleries and more. We've even gone through the Hyman Bloom exhibition twice. It's been wonderful. Thank you so much, Jane. This really was a terrific surprise."
"You're very welcome," Jane smiled down at the smaller woman as they walked back towards the car. "But it's not your only surprise today."
"Really?"
"Really! We have dinner reservations for seven. This gives us plenty of time to get ready once we get home."
Home.
"Oh, Jane!" Maura clasped her hands eagerly. "Are you going to tell me where this time?"
"Not a chance. All you need to know is that my dress is black and white, so you can plan accordingly."
"Dress?"
"That's right, Dr. Isles. A proper, grown up evening fit for the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts awaits you."
Maura looked over at Jane as a familiar warmth spread through her chest. She was so thankful for the woman beside her. She didn't know if she could ever fully express to Jane how she had changed and shaped Maura's life; how she had become the one thing Maura couldn't live without. How could I not completely love her, Maura wondered.
Jane noticed Maura staring at her.
"What?" Jane asked.
Maura froze. Oh my god, did I say that out loud?
"What?" Maura panicked.
Jane chuckled. "I don't know. What? You were staring, looked kinda zoned out."
Maura breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, I'm sorry, my thoughts must have gotten away from me. Thank you again for the museum, Jane."
Jane smiled broadly at her friend. "You're welcome, Maur."
Jane was pacing in the living room. It was 6:30 and Maura would be down any minute. Jane hadn't been nervous all day, but she felt the nerves creeping in the closer they got to dinner. You can do this. It'll be okay. You can tell her. You want to tell her. You're almost positive she feels the same way. You can do th—Jane was in the middle of her pep talk when Maura walked down the stairs and Jane forgot how to breathe.
"Wow. You look really beautiful." Jane's voice was unsteady. She not so subtly raked her eyes over Maura's form. The sleeveless, deep crimson dress fit Maura perfectly. Her hair was down and in soft wavy curls. The nude heels made her legs look amazing.
Maura smiled, loving the way Jane looked at her. She even noticed Jane's pupils dilate. She ran her own eyes over Jane's body and tried to control her physical response. Jane had straightened her hair for tonight and worn more make up than usual.
"You're gorgeous, Jane."
They stood somewhat awkwardly just staring at each other until Jane cleared her throat and motioned towards the door.
"So, um, shall we?"
Maura nodded and grabbed her coat.
The restaurant was on the top floor, surrounded by windows. The view of the city and harbor at night was breathtaking.
"Jane, this is amazing." Maura couldn't take her eyes off of the view – or of the woman in front of her. This was already the best date she'd ever been on and she wasn't even sure if it was a date.
Jane listened intently as Maura began to point out various buildings and historical sites across Boston. She was always in awe of Maura's intelligence.
Dinner was perfect. It was full of longing looks and shy smiles. The conversation was easy, just like it always was. The wine Maura selected was exquisite. Their meals were delicious. Maura tried to reach for the bill when the waiter set it down, but Jane playfully swatted her hand away.
"Nope. My treat, Maur."
"Jane, I can—"
"My treat, Maur."
Maura couldn't resist the warm smile Jane gave her.
"Thank you, Jane."
When Maura excused herself to use the restroom, Jane fetched their coats and headed out to the terrace. This is it, she said to herself. She rubbed her hands and took a few deep breaths.
When Maura returned from the restroom, she stepped out onto the terrace to join Jane.
"Come here."
Maura took Jane's outstretched hand and stepped in front of the brunette. Jane helped Maura into her coat and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist. Jane rested her head against Maura's. It was moments like this when Jane loved their height difference. Maura placed her hands on top of Jane's as they both stood silently enjoying the view. Maura suddenly felt nervous, but she wasn't sure why. This felt like an important moment between her and Jane.
Jane had practiced some form of this speech a hundred times, but she suddenly didn't have a clue how to start. Part of her wanted to blurt out "I love you, marry me," but she knew that was absurd. She tried to stay positive. Telling someone how much you love them should be a good thing, she reminded herself. One more deep breath and…
"I shouldn't have moved to Virginia."
Maura waited; unsure if Jane was going to continue. When she didn't, Maura spoke.
"Why did you? I never really understood. I wanted to be supportive, of course, but I never understood. Not completely. You love Boston. Your life was here. Your family is here. I'm—I'm here. Surely you could have gotten a safer job in Boston to appease Angela. You didn't have to go to Virginia to do that. Why, Jane?"
Maura's question was fair. More than fair.
"Everyone was moving forward; had new adventures, and I was still just a detective. You were writing your book, Ma had Ron, Vince retired, Frankie and Nina got engaged. Everyone was doing something. I felt…left behind, like I wasn't doing anything worthwhile. And it…it started to hurt to be here. It hurt so much to be here with you."
Jane felt Maura tense in her arms. Jane tightened her grip and placed a kiss to the side of Maura's head.
"I'm sorry, that sounded awful. Of course I loved being here with you. You're my favorite person. I loved every moment I spent with you. I love every moment I spend with you. But…it started to hurt to not be able to spend time with you the way I wanted. I wanted—I want—to…God, why is this so hard?"
Maura ran her finger tips over Jane's hands. "It's okay. Tell me."
Jane closed her eyes and let go of everything that was holding her back.
"I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you whenever I want. I want to wake up and see you sharing my pillow. I want to come home and make you dinner. I want you to cry on my shoulder when you're upset. I want to be the person you share good news with. I want these things and so many others with you, it'll take me years to list them all."
Maura turned in Jane's arms to face her best friend. She realized they were both crying.
"Maura, I want all of you. I want everything that is you. I want your brilliance and your beauty and your heart and your character and your quirks and your strength. I want you fully and completely because I love you. I love you so much it hurts."
"Oh, Jane…"
Maura wrapped her arms around the taller woman and held her tightly for several moments. Maura pulled away slightly so she could look into those dark brown eyes she was so fond of. She cupped Jane's cheek with her right hand.
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes, Jane. You can have all of that with me if you promise I can have all of that with you. You are my person, Jane Rizzoli. I am sure of it. You are the other half of my heart and soul. I have loved you quietly and fiercely for many years. So, yes. If I may hold your hand, kiss you whenever I want, permit you to share my pillow, make you dinner, offer you my shoulder to cry on and if you share your good news with me, then yes."
Jane moved slowly towards Maura until their lips pressed together for the first time. The kiss was soft and delicate, their lips somehow already familiar with one another. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's.
"You've felt the same way? Why didn't you ever say anything?" Jane asked.
"I was scared. What if I told you and you didn't reciprocate my feelings? I was always so scared of losing your friendship. I just never had the courage."
"I had the same fears. I couldn't imagine losing you. You are always so honest and straightforward…You say the truth, even when it's hard. I know that if you could lie, you never would. So when you never said anything, I just thought my feelings could never be returned. I thought I was seeing something that wasn't really there."
"Oh, Jane, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"No, no, it's okay." Jane kissed Maura again. And then again, still in awe that she now could. "I'm sorry I wasn't braver for you."
Maura shook her head. "You know you're the bravest person I know. In Paris…Those last two weeks. I almost told you so many times…But the timing…"
"I know. Our time in Paris was when I finally convinced myself that you could feel the same way. It's what I kept thinking about the past couple of months. I had to try just once. I couldn't let you slip through my fingers like that."
Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane soundly. The feeling of Jane's tongue against hers for the first time sent a shiver down her spine.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, Maur."
They had no idea how long they stayed wrapped in each other's arms, slowly swaying to the soft music drifting out to the terrace from the restaurant.