As always, thank you so much to everyone who has followed, faved and/or left a review. I read all of them and they mean a great deal! Not a lot of plot here in the new chapter, we're just gonna marinate in that fluffy lovey dovey stuff for a minute. Happy reading!
"Now that I'm allowed to kiss and touch you, I don't think I can stop." Jane's lips made their way down Maura's neck.
"Good. I don't want you to stop," was Maura's breathy response.
The women had arrived back at the Beacon Hill home nearly fifteen minutes ago, but hadn't made it further than the foyer. As soon as they walked in, Maura's lips had found Jane's, setting off a rather heated make out session.
As her hips began rolling in rhythm with Maura's, Jane reluctantly pulled away.
"Maur…wait…I'm sorry."
Both women were breathing heavily. It took Maura a few seconds to regain her focus. She pulled her gaze away from Jane's mouth and looked up into the dark brown eyes staring down at her. Maura immediately sobered when she saw the look in Jane's eyes. They looked sad.
"What is it, Jane? What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry. Can we—I don't know if I'm ready to…I'm sorry."
Maura placed her hand on Jane's cheek.
"It's okay. Hey…Look at me. It's okay. Nothing has to happen tonight. I'm not in any hurry."
Jane silently nodded in response and looked down again.
"It's not that I don't want to…It's just …a lot has happened and I'm…I want to be able to just hold you and be with you before we…Is that okay?"
Maura smiled at Jane's sweet confession. She knew she was the only one who got to see this shy and vulnerable side of Jane.
Maura dipped her head slightly so Jane would look up and meet her eye line.
"I would like that."
"Really?" Jane couldn't hide her smile or the relief she felt.
"Of course," Maura nodded.
Jane kissed Maura lovingly before pulling back to look at her again.
"Thank you for understanding."
"You're welcome, but Jane, we're a team; now more than ever. If something is important to you, then it is important to me. I know it can be difficult for you, but please talk to me. I want to know what and how you're feeling."
Jane held Maura's gaze for several seconds.
"I'll do my best."
Maura smiled as her lips found Jane's once more.
Eventually they made it out of the foyer and up to Maura's bedroom. They lay in bed facing each other, each woman on her side. Jane draped her right arm over Maura's waist; Maura draped her left over Jane's.
"What's with the goofy grin, doctor?"
"I'm just happy," Maura said. "Aren't you happy, Jane?"
Jane's dimples deepened as her smile grew.
"I'm very happy, Maura."
"However—"
"However, she says," Jane huffed and playfully rolled her eyes.
"However, I must say that you robbed me of my thunder tonight."
Jane chuckled at Maura's misuse of the common expression.
"What?" Maura asked.
"I love when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Mix up common figures of speech."
Maura still looked confused.
"It's stole your thunder, Maur. I apparently stole your thunder tonight."
"I think my version works just as well and conveys the same sentiment."
"It does." Jane gave Maura a kiss. "But like I said, I love when you mix up phrases. I think it's adorable. I always have. I love that I can tell you that now."
Maura's face immediately lit up.
"You think I'm adorable?"
"Well now you're just fishing for compliments." Jane paused in an attempt to further tease her new girlfriend. "Of course I think you're adorable!"
They both laughed out loud.
"I think you're adorable too, Jane."
"Okay, okay," Jane blushed as she shook her head. "Back to the subject at hand. How did I steal your thunder tonight, Dr. Isles?"
Maura took a breath, suddenly nervous to tell Jane something she already knew.
"Well, after family dinner tomorrow night, I had intended on confessing my feelings for you."
"And I beat you to it."
"Yes. Thunder stolen."
"But, come on. I had a great reason, right?"
Maura shrugged nonchalantly.
"I suppose," she said with an air of indifference.
"Maura!" Jane proclaimed in mock offense.
They found themselves in another fit of laughter before finding each other's lips once more.
"It was a wonderful reason, Jane," Maura said, her tone turning more serious.
After a moment, Jane broke the silence.
"What were you going to say?"
"My intention was to tell you that I am in love with you. Wildly in love with you and that I have been for quite some time."
Jane smiled at Maura's confession. From Jane's own confession earlier in the evening, she now knew Maura felt the same way, but she was curious to hear Maura's point of view.
"What else?" Jane prompted her.
"As I said earlier this evening, I had been hesitant to share my feelings for fear of compromising our friendship. For a long time, I had been trying to convince myself that having you as a best friend was better than not having you at all, even if I desperately wanted more, and sometimes believed you might as well. The fear that our friendship would end or change if you knew my true feelings and didn't return them was paralyzing at times. You were – are – the most wonderful best friend, so I made that be enough. I'm not sure if you understand how important you are to me. You've…you've made my life, Jane.
Jane blinked back the tears in her own eyes as she watched Maura's tears roll down her cheeks.
"Maur…"
"You are my everything. You've shown me what true friendship is. You've shown me what it feels like to belong; how it feels to have a real family; how it feels to be safe; how it feels to be wanted and appreciated. You make me feel important – like what I do and who I am matters. The idea of losing you and this life you've given me," Maura wiped her cheeks and shook her head, "I couldn't. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."
Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura soundly, pouring everything she felt for her girlfriend into the kiss.
"I love you so much. I wish I would have known. I wish I would have said something sooner. I hate to think that all this time you've been…I've been an idiot. I'm so sorry, Maur."
It was Maura that leaned forward this time to quiet her girlfriend with a kiss.
"It's okay, Jane. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. We were both scared. We didn't know. I still got to spend the last several years with you. For that, I will always be thankful."
Several minutes passed as they lay quietly, wrapped up in one another.
"What made you change your mind? Why were you finally going to tell me tomorrow night?"
"Paris. Similar to what you said earlier, I felt like something might happen in Paris. Then the last few weeks. Yesterday. It just felt different; like something shifted. It made me feel more confident. I began to hope, like I never have before, that maybe we were on the same page, after all."
The room was dark, but Jane could make out most of Maura's features. She studied the woman lying beside her.
"I'm lucky. I'm really, really lucky."
Maura cupped Jane's cheek and kissed her.
"I'm the lucky one. I love you."
"I love you, too."
Jane rolled onto her back, pulling the smaller woman with her. Maura nestled her head below Jane's chin and wrapped her arm around the brunette's mid-section. Maura smiled as she felt Jane press several soft kisses to the top of her head.