I do not own 'Phineas and Ferb' or anything related.

"You think my scoring was a little harsh?"

Wacko and Felus were walking through a greenhouse.

"Well Sir, he did get every question right."

"Be as it may, Edible Plants is hardly an impressive skill to show off."

The president was feeding a row of carnivorous roses, which had been genetically modified to have beaks and teeth.

"Ah, I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time. And now that it's here, I don't know what to say."

"Provided everything goes smoothly."

"-Should there be a problem?"

Felus started to sweat.

"Well Sir, this IS Phineas and Ferb we're talking about."

"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of their irritating ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat no matter how close they are to those said jaws! But it will do them no good in the arena. Tell me, Felus. Have you ever wondered why the Hunger Games? Why do we bother having a victor? Why not, oh I don't know, just round up the tributes to be shot by a firing squad, or have them undergo some kind of nightmarish scenario where they all die horribly?"

"I believe I know the reason, as I am sure you will want to explain to me the reason."

"Quite right. Then let me ask you a follow up question; what's the worst thing that can happen to a hero?"

"They die?"

"Worse than that."

"Their loved ones die?"

"Worse than that."

"They suffer some kind of horrific mutilation or trauma as children causing them to have post traumatic stress syndrome that effects their development and even with all the therapy in the world they would never fully recover?"

"...Oh wow. That does sound worse. But not what I was thinking of."

"Well, I do not know what else – oh. They become no longer heroes."

"Exactly. And how do you think that happens?"

"They become villains. But Sir, it is debatable whether they actually become villains in the arena, even with the taking of one life, if it is from an aggressor."

"That's irrelevant. The taking of even a single life, for a hero, is a fall from grace. For a hero, taking a life is such an immutable transgression, to cross that line, the only way to continue to be called a hero is for the act to be retconned, like it being "revealed" that they were just being mind controlled the whole time, or that the person who did the deed was actually a duplicate, and that the real hero was in stasis and away from anyone to discover them during the whole event, only to be discovered when the writers want to bring back the original team, thereby depriving the conclusion and aftermath of that whole arc of all emotional depth, not to mention deprive this one main character of any closure he had, leading his wife turning out to be in another "Shocking revelation" the clone of his former love –"

Wacko noticed Felus was looking at him.

"The point is, in the arena there are only two options open to the tributes. Either they die horribly, or they cause others to die horribly, and by doing so, with every victim they kill, a piece of their own soul is killed as well. There may be one victor, but either way, for all of them, it's lose lose. And not even the so-called 'Phineas and Ferb effect' can circumvent that reality."

When Phineas woke up, he wasn't even sure if it was morning. Then he had to remember that 'morning' didn't exist here. Getting up, he looked out of the window at the limitless void. He picked up a control. Phineas was told that it could change the window to appear as anything he wanted. He changed it so that it looked like dawn at home. Home. Phineas was sure that it was a Sunday back home, despite the passing of time here, or the lack of the passing of time! Sunday was just another day of building something for fun, only to be taken away by the Duck Troopers. Even so it was still fun to build, even if he and Ferb didn't get to enjoy the fruits of their labours, to hang around with Isabella, with Buford and Baljeet. He thought of his pet Perry the platypus, of his sister, Candace, of his mum and dad. And then he thought about the 1 he got, and how he felt he let everybody down, even though he was certain he did his best. There was a knocking on the door.

"Big, big, big day today!" Said Sammy.

She was right. Tomorrow would be the day that the tributes will be interviewed by Felus, so they had today to prepare.

"Now don't you worry, if you get stuck, Felus will be there to help you out," Doofensmirtz told Phineas, "Is what I would like to say, but the truth is that if you show any weakness, he'll eat you alive!"

There was some truth to this. Felus was infamous for his ability to attack tributes he interviewed for their weaknesses. The capital crowd loved it. Whenever he made a comment that wounded an interviewee deeply, someone would go 'MEOW!' from the crowd, and everyone would laugh. He was known to make tributes cry, and run away from the interview.

"What was yours like?"

"Well, you see, back when I was a tribute, during my interview Felus picked on all of my insecurities. But that just made me more resolved to win!"

Doofensmirtz prepared Phineas for what Felus was going to say. Phineas came across as pleasant enough, then Doof asked him questions about his home life. These Phineas answered okay, even when they started getting personal before Doofensmirtz started to question his survival skills.

"Well, I did well at the stations-"

"Anyone can do well at the stations! I mean at home! What fighting skills do you have?"

"Ermm…"

"What survival skills have you used?"

"Ermm."

"Name me one, just one skill you've had before that could enable you to survive in the Hungry Games?"

Phineas couldn't answer. Doofensmirtz sighed.

"You know what, just answer the questions as best as you can and hopefully you won't get mauled too much."

The interviews went from 13 to 1, from girl to boy. Phineas, being technically the girl tribute, would go before Ferb. There was a clock behind Felus that kept track of the length of the interviews before TINGing to signify they had run out of time.

"Wait, I thought time doesn't exist here?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, the clock doesn't measure how many minutes have passed!" Sammy explained, "It measures how many words are said!"

"Words?"

"Yeah, between Felus, the tribute, and the crowd! Each interview is 300 words long."

The girl tribute from District 13 came on stage.

"My my, aren't you the cutest little tribute I've seen?"

The tribute smiled hopefully.

"You'll likely be one of the first to get slaughtered."

Shocked by these words, she burst into tears.

"MEOW!" Cried someone from the crowd, who broke into laughter. The rest of the interview was just the girl tribute sobbing, the audience laughing with Felus sitting patiently. Eventually the clock went 'TING!'

"And that's all the time we've got. Thank you for coming on."

The Girl tribute cried as she ran away. Later the boy tribute came up.

"And you're even cuter."

The boy, understanding that to mean he's more likely to get killed, also bursts into tears, with the audience laughing at his turmoil.

Phineas noted a number of styles from the different tributes. The girl from district 12, though she rarely spoke, came across as confident as they chatted, and she said that in the arena the only thing to do was to 'woman up'.

"Well, I must say, you do come across as a strong confidant young woman."

The girl didn't reply.

"Until that whole 'woman up' line, then you lost all respect from me."

The girl was stunned.

"Excuse me?"

"Well I just think that the need to replace every time the word 'man' is used with 'woman', rather than coming across as strong, actually comes across as, well, pathetic."

The girl stood up.

"And what makes you think that I actually care about respect from a man-"

"GASP!" Gasped the crowd. The girl looked at them.

"What?"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They cried, throwing tomatoes at her.

"What, you think I care about what you think?" The girl demanded to know.

"Now now, Go-Go, try to think of it from their perspective. You are fond of replacing 'man' with 'woman'. Replay what you just said with 'man' replaced by 'woman'."

"What? You mean if I said something like 'And what makes you think that I actually care about respect from a woman' ohhhhh."

"Indeed. Sexism works both ways you know."

The crowd kept on booing her, throwing garbage at her.

"Can't you tell them to stop?" She asked.

"Now now, if you cannot handle a little rubbish shower how are you supposed to handle the arena? Besides, it'll be over once 300 words are said."

Eventually the clock went "TING!"

"And that's all the time we've got. Well I wish I could congratulate you for coming, if it wasn't for the fact that I would be congratulating a sexist."

The girl fled the stage, continually being bombarded by garbage.

The boy talked all about how he has experience building killing machines back home, no matter how small they were. Felus then said that he should be fine, provided there are enough parts in the arena to build one. The boy was confident that he could scavenge something.

"Well we can only hope they'll be something. Otherwise without some sort of robot guardian you would be doomed."

You could see the dread on the boy's face as this sank in.

The girl from District 10 talked all about being a ninja.

"Oh, a ninja? And all this time I thought you were a witch."

"-What are you talking about?" The girl asked.

"Well, forgive me if I'm mistaken, but judging from your surname I assumed you were the daughter of Bernard Mettle, a previous victor and a werewolf. Who married Wilhamena, a vampire. You must be very proud coming from such a distinguished lineage."

"What? No, you must be mistaken! My parents are ninjas!"

"Well this is embarrassing, because we have your parents online as we speak."

As he spoke, a TV screen descended, revealing a werewolf and a vampire.

"Hi Sweetie!" Her mum waved.

"Make us proud!" Said her dad.

The girl tried to cover herself as the crowd laughed at her feeling uncomfortable.

The boy from district 10 showed off how strong he was.

"Say, you look familiar," Felus remarked, "Now I know where I've seen you from, weren't you the star of those 'blorpf' videos?"

"-Well, maybe-"

"So tell me, how does it feel to experienced 15 minutes of fame based on making fun of aliens?"

"What?"

"Do you feel ashamed that you were exploiting offensive humour towards your own people?"

"Errrr."

"How could you possibly look them in the eye? At your own family?"

Words failed the boy entirely.

The district 9 girl was somehow both friendly and aggressive. When Felus mentioned how she would feel fighting in the arena without any access to magic, she wasn't fazed, telling him how back home one of the things she spends her time on is fighting monsters. This got a gasp from the crowd, many of whom were monsters. The girl noticed.

"Ahem, not that there is anything wrong with monsters! In other dimensions! Phew!" She sighed, thinking that she had saved the situation, although judging from the silence of the crowd Phineas doubted that she did.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They cried, throwing rubbish at her at hurling insults like "Racist" and "Xenophobe," and one even cried out "Why couldn't you be more like post season 1 St-" before Phineas heard someone else say "Shut up you fool!".

When the boy came up, although he tried to come across as confident, Phineas thought that he was overdoing it, and therefore failing. Nevertheless, he boasted that as a red belt in karate, he should have no problem in defeating any opponents that comes his way.

"HIYA!" He shouted, demonstrating a karate chop.

"Ahem. I am sorry to ask you this, but don't you mean 'kiai'?"

"Wwhat?" The boy asked.

"Oh apologies. Perhaps you've now moved on to the stage where instead of shouting 'kiai', it's more like 'ai'? Still, apologies if that doesn't sound right, I'm not much of a shouter-"

"What are you talking you?"

"The Kiai."

"The what now?"

"The Japanese term used for the short shout uttered when performing an attacking move in martial arts, that pop culture had rendered as 'hiya'? Anyone familiar with Karate should know that."

"Well, I , err…"

"Also, isn't the red belt generally one of the lowest ranks in Karate?"

"What? No, it's the highest belts after Black!"

"…Wait a minute, do you mean Tang Soo do?"

"-Come again?"

"Red belt if one of the highest ranks in Tang Soo Do, which is a related though different martial art from Karate from a completely different country with a completely different culture and history. So unless when you're talking about karate you mean Shotokan Karate which the Korean variant-"

"Shoto - what now?"

"- Then some might say that mixing up the two is kinda offensive."

"Yes it is!" Shouted someone from the crowd.

"Well, maybe-"

"I mean it is not like you learnt "karate" from a video set, right, my young Italian/Hispanic American friend?"

"What? I'm not Italian!"

"I am sorry, you must be confused. I only assumed you must have I only assumed you must have some Italian ancestry given your first name."

"Um, my -"

"TING!" Went the Clock.

"What? Already? Oh very well. Saved by the clock, Mr Diaz, before I had a chance to point out to you that Marcos is the Spanish variant, not Marco."

"Look, I don't know where you're getting your information, but-"

After typing something in his tablet and showed it to him. Marco's eyes diluted.

"You may go sit over there."

"I don't know who I am anymore, my life is a lie," He muttered to himself as he left the seat to join the others.

"And that's all the time we have for part one," Said Felus after concluding with the District 7 tributes, "Join us next time for the second part of the interview. Whenever that may be."

Phineas was confused by what he said.

"Wait, what did he mean by

P.S. I do not own 'Mao Mao', 'Big Hero 6', 'O.K. K.O,' 'Star Vs' or anything related either.