A/N: okay, we're back in the past.

Thanks to my Beta ;)

After classes, I went to the library, not sure if I'd find the blonde there, or if she would stubbornly continue to resist my request. Perhaps it would be easier that way. If we stopped spending time together at all, perhaps this… infatuation would go away. After all, she'd made it clear that there was nothing more I could get from her. Honestly, know that part of me hoped for that; I knew I couldn't stay away on my own volition, but Delphine had that power. She could choose to stay away from me; give me back the freedom she was responsible for taking away. The hollowness of lost hope was buried in my heart, but the craving remained...no less intense just because my hopes were crushed. It was deeply ingrained and would not be so easily exorcised.

An uneasiness settled in my gut as I slowly moved through the library, books of different shapes and sizes meticulously displayed on their shelves, the older and less likely to be requested by the students locked behind glass doors. My eyes searched the desks, dispersed haphazardly, and occupied by fellow students. The separation of genders and classes was apparent even in the library; no group was heterogeneous, although it wasn't uncommon for a more eager boy to skip to a desk occupied by the girls to demand some sort of attention. As I scanned the desks attentively the tension in my gut rose, an uncomfortable mix of relief and disappointment tightened my chest every time I came up empty.

After checking for a second time, I settled at one of the empty tables and pulled out the novel I was reading - "War and Peace", another homework suggested by Lucy. Part of me was screaming to leave and look for the blonde; we still had the stupid paper to do after all, but the stubbornness that was part of my trademark was much stronger. If I went look for her and found her waiting for me in the same place we always met before, that would represent failure and the determination I demonstrated earlier would've fallen flat. For the first twenty minutes, each time the door opened, I'd raise my eyes from the book, only to return to my reading a few seconds later. Soon I stopped looking. When dinner time approached, I sighed heavily, closed the book, and marched to the door.

On my way to my room to get ready, losing the uniform and change into my regular clothes, I passed by the common hall and there she was, on the same couch. The books we'd been using for our paper were closed and stacked neatly on the small table, while Delphine held a smaller book; her eyes tracking down the page. For a moment I thought about approaching, but when I searched my mind for something to say and found no real answer, I continued on my path.

This ridiculous impasse lasted for the next three days. Always the same. I went to the library, but Delphine never joined me; maintaining her ground in the common hall where I spotted her on my way back to the bedroom at the end of the afternoon. During the days she barely looked my way and when our eyes did meet, she gave me an icy glare that would've frozen my insides if they weren't burning hot with determination. I refused to fold my hand and if she thought she was simply calling my bluff, she was dead wrong. I didn't care if it meant failing the stupid class, it's not like I had parents to disappoint or anyone to be angry at me for my childish act. However, Delphine did. She had someone who would demand explanations from her. So what if I was using that to my advantage? I had leverage and a mind to use it, so it was not surprising that she was the one who had to bend her resolve.

On the fourth day a fuming Delphine sat heavily in the chair across from me and all but dropped the books on the desk, making me jump in my seat.

"That's so fucking irresponsible!" She said too loud for the place we were in, her voice more accented probably due to the anger burning inside her.

I pretended to refocus on my book. "What's that?" I asked, feigning disinterest.

"I thought you said we should at least try to be friendly," she pointed out, her voice lowering to a sharp whisper as she leaned forward over the table.

"And I thought I said I wanted to meet in the library," I answered in the same tone, my own body leaning as well, after I closed the book in one swift move.

"You can't force your way all the time," Delphine said in a much conciliatory way, perhaps trying to reach my logical side.

"But you can, right?" I didn't even have to stop to think about my answer. "You chose the topic of our paper, I get to chose the venue," my arms moving around us, "thus, we'll do it here!" I finished casually.

Delphine stopped a moment to look around us and I did the same, noticing more than a few pairs of eyes on us. She clenched her jaw tightly and exhaled slowly, reaching for the books she'd brought with her and opened them without another word. A silly, triumphant grin graced my lips when she wasn't looking, a small surge of pride in my chest. For once I had the upper hand, and I tasted victory for the first time when it came to Delphine, however feeble it was. I had enjoyed it greatly.

The dynamic in our relationship changed after that. Despite her sour mood at ours next few meetings, Delphine seemed to take my input into account. Two weeks in, she moved to sit next to me, making the job much easier without books moving back and forth along the desk. Still, the blonde was always aware of the distance between us; if she thought we were getting too close, like when our arms brushed, she would lean back, while on the corner of my eye I could see her discreetly observing the people around us. Every time this happened I felt my heart skip a little, but hardened my resolve to not let it get to me; brushing it off and swallowing my feelings. I could feel the dark hole in my chest growing with each new way she found to cut through me.

We never discussed what happened between us; not by the lake or the heated exchange we had in the courtyard. When we were not working together in the school paper we were strangers. We passed each other in the halls and didn't share a word, even as our glances lingered a little longer on one another. My meals and free time continued to be spent with Scott, my stubborn sidekick who refused to leave my side, even on the days when the frustration was threatening to get the best of me.

It was like a different set of rules were applied the moment we met at the table we'd made our own. The moment we sat next to each other, another Delphine emerged, even when compared to the one who met me back at the lake. She continued to be calm, serene; a small smile curling her lips when we reached the same conclusion for our paper, or a subtle frown when we were in disagreement. But no longer was I forced to defend my perspective in a stream of arguments that stumbled upon each other. Instead, she listened carefully, nodding a few times with another small smile when her mind was starting to change or shaking her head and deepening the frown when I wasn't getting to her. I found that, she too talked with her hands; not in rapid, erratic motions like myself, but in firm, calculated gestures, her delicate hands swayed between us in an elegant dance. Our voices remained low, dropping to contained whispers every time we found it difficult to get to a common ground. Nonetheless, we always got there, whether it took five minutes or the two hours we started to spend together, there wasn't a single day that we left an argument unresolved. When we packed up to leave, the margins of Delphine's notebook were covered in drawings; lines intersecting in complex florals, round pictures, or sharp, gothic abstracts, while mine were covered in written notes, barely legible, from top to bottom. And always a satisfying feeling of accomplishment.

The level of intimacy reached within those hours, however, was in stark contrast to when we were outside those walls. There, it seemed unreasonable for us to even breathe the same air, much less talk. Delphine carried on with her life, surrounded by the popular kids, who seemed to be determined to do everything she asked of them, especially the boys. It didn't take long for her to get yet another good looking dude to follow her around like a lost puppy.

"I thought you said you were done," Scott said one day, when the rain finally relented and gave way to a sunny winter day and we found ourselves in the courtyard.

"What?" My eyes moved back to my friend, leaving the tall figure at the other end of the field.

"Delphine," he said flatly, "you can't take your eyes off of her."

"I'm looking at you now," I pointed out with a shrug, but he gave an unconvinced look. "Listen… I know it's pointless, I do, but… I can't just turn it off, it's not like I can flip a switch and stop caring."

He smiled a little, his eyes followed mine, which had found their way back to the blonde and the boy beside her. "I guess spending so much time with her doesn't help," Scott said in a sympathetic tone.

"At least we're kinda getting along, you know," a small grin starting to grow on my lips. "She's nice, smart… a bit stubborn," I chuckled.

"You're helping my case," Scott looked back at me, his brow raised.

"What? Would you prefer if she was a bitch to me… again?" I asked, my humor between confused and annoyed.

"No!" He answered fast. "Of course not, but it's like… she continues to lead you on," Scott said in a small voice, as if he was afraid of saying it too loud.

"She's not!" I defended her immediately, but minding my own voice, keeping it leveled. "She's just being nice, we could become friends."

Scott snorted and rolled his eyes. "You two will never be friends," he said with a hint of irony, "you like her too much."

Of course Scott's words carried a heavy burden of truth. From the start, my intentions were never that pure, my interest was not in being her friend. And perhaps he was right when he said that Delphine, with the way she was acting, was continuing to lead me on. But I knew that at least it was unintentionally. I certainly couldn't tell her that the little random things she did were making me become even more fascinated with her. That, I needed to keep to myself. Our relationship was what it was and the little I could've done to change it, I did. It didn't work and for my troubles I was rewarded with a broken heart and a gut wrenching feeling every time I saw her in the company of someone else who could have something I could not. From then on my intention was to let it run its course, deal with my feeling on my own time and be done with it.

Besides, I believed that the way I was ignoring the way I felt around her was making Delphine more comfortable around me. I could sense her relaxing in my presence. What I was doing could be viewed as a sacrifice: swallow my own feelings for her benefit. However, I thought it was worth it; it was even selfish at some extent. Delphine was being genuine to herself, the effect it had on me was irrelevant and definitely not her fault. And this time in return I did get something; I got a glimpse into her; I could see a side of her that I honestly didn't think she showed to anyone else. It was not a fair trade, it was not the trade I wanted, but it was better than nothing.

There was a different sort of energy in the courtyard when I joined Scott the following day - the weather of early February was being generous; cold, but sunny - a constant stream of words quietly spoken, groups of students gathered in close circles and whispered to each other while looking around themselves. After class I went to the bathroom and during those short minutes it was obvious I've missed something. Scott's eyes were locked in a distant point and didn't notice my arrival.

"What's happening?" I asked, my own eyes moving around to find the source of the gossip.

His stare found mine with a startled look. "I don't know… but something is!"

"Well, aren't you Mr. Obvious," I joked while I continued to look around.

An agglomerate of students were gathered around a table where loud voices could be heard, but we were too far away to understand what was being spoken. All I could tell for sure is that someone was definitely not pleased.

Scott looked back at me with a frown. "Should we like… go there?"

"Nah…" I replied with a quick shrug and a hand wave. "Something this dramatic will reach even us."

That was as much as I cared to think about it. Usually, the gossip that circulated around the school meant little to me since I was so far removed from the social life. Besides, when they did concern me, they were mean spirited and laced with ignorant remarks. But whatever it was going, it was big, because when I decided to push myself up from the table and walk to the library, it was still going on; the group of people around the source of discord had grown and the chat was overlapping, everyone trying to speak at the same time. So much so, that when I entered the library I found it completely vacant of students, only the sister who oversaw the room was there. I headed to the desk, took my seat, and opened the book Delphine and I were currently exploring for the paper. Unsurprisingly, the blonde wasn't there, contrary to the other days, when occasionally she showed up before I did. I assumed she was still occupied with the big news. I didn't think much of it since Delphine was an integral part of the school social life.

It must have passed twenty minutes before students started to fill the library, returning to their everyday routine, but the excitement in the hushed conversations was undeniable. Delphine entered the library soon after, and claimed the seat across from me, the chair that had been vacant for the last three weeks. She said nothing; never looked up while she opened her backpack and removed her notebook. Around us, the noise grew, the hushed words rose to an uncomfortable, non-stop buzzing sound, like the noise of relentless air conditioning. Unable to ignore it, I looked to the other students, who didn't even attempt to be subtle; staring at Delphine and occasionally glancing at me. I swallowed the uneasiness rising to my throat, and turned back to my study partner, my stomach lurching at her defeated posture. Her head was bowed, supported by a hand on her chin, and her long curls were deliberately draped to one side; shielding her face from the rest of the room.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked when I realized that she was the source of the whispering.

She looked back at me, brows drawn in a frown, trying to pretend she didn't know what I was talking about. I rolled my eyes and tilted my head in the general direction of where the others were. She sighed, and gave a short nod, packing up her things while I did the same. In no time, we were walking outside, side by side with a thick silence between us. Delphine seemed lost in thought and I was too busy fighting the urge to ask her what the hell was that all about. Curiosity kept pulling at my mind, but her obvious reluctance to talk about it stopped me. So, we continued to walk, our backpacks hanging from our shoulders as we strolled with no real destination in mind.

I was never one to stay quiet for too long, especially when there was an excellent topic of conversation. Delphine's occasional heavy sigh and the fact that she wouldn't look at me was driving me nuts. I cracked when we were passing a shed in bad shape. The wooden boards that held the thing together were starting to rot, nails plagued with rust, and the lock and chain that were supposed to keep people away had long succumbed to the passage of time, which is exactly the reason why I knew precisely what was inside. My penchant for curiosity had guided me inside the decrepit building on a previous sunny Saturday afternoon, when I had too much time on my hands.

"Can you ride a bike?" I asked suddenly, cutting the silence between us.

Delphine turned her head to meet my question with surprise written across her features. "What?"

I smirked and without thought, grabbed the hand closest to me. "C'mon!" I said excitedly, pulling her along with me.

It was probably because I caught her off guard, but Delphine offered no resistance and let me guide her. I only released her hand once we were standing at a slanting door that gravity would soon pull to the ground.

"Cosima, what are you doing?" There was tension in her voice, the whispered words surrounded by urgency.

I tried to lift the door so it wouldn't drag on the soft grass, but the backpack, held only by my right shoulder kept falling down. "Here, hold this…" I urged, relieving myself of the burden and handing it to the blonde, whose eyes moved between me and the field around us.

"If someone finds out, we'll get in trouble," she continues to speak in a low tone, her eyes darting around us, absentmindedly grasping the bag I gave her.

"Right… so we need to be sure no one finds out," I said with a big grin as the door finally gave way and I was able to open it. "Let's go!" I told her when she remained outside.

Inside, it smelled like wet dirt and rusting metal, and the low sun light entered filtered by the gap between the wooden boards, but it was just enough for me to spot what I was after. Four bicycles were neatly stacked in a corner, sure, they had seen better days, but apart from a few dirt and spider webs, they were fully functional; the tires were filled and the chains were whole and well lubricated; probably used during the summer.

I turned to find Delphine still by the door, refusing to come in and looking at me with a heavy frown. "You don't happen to have some tissues with you, do you?", I asked.

Nodding as she twisted her lips in a discontented gesture, she showed an impressive display of determination as she managed open her own backpack and remove a small pack of tissues without setting my own bag on the dirty floor. She didn't offer to help while I clean the seats and gave a quick brush on the handles, only moving to the side to make room for me to pass with both bikes and leaned them against the outside of the shed. I closed the door and left everything as we've found it, minus the two bikes.

"I'm sure that place is infested with rats," she commented after I closed the door, giving me back my bag.

I shouldered it and shrugged. "Yeah… snakes too, probably," I said, reaching for one of the bikes and starting to walk with it by my side. "Wait! Is that why you didn't come in?" I asked, turning my head to her.

"Of course," she admitted, nodding. "I don't want to be eaten by rats or… snakes," she said while a shiver crossed her spine.

"Oh dude… you are such a girl," I joked lightly, chuckling.

"Yes, I am… and your point is..?" She said back, quickly jumping to the saddle of the bike I left for her and riding away.

I laughed freely and raced to catch up, pleased to see a relaxed smile as she slowed to allow me to ride along side. It appeared her doubts about our little theft had left her mind and we rode at a leisurely pace along a dirt road that would lead us to the far end of the property. We passed by the lake, hugging the shore and over a bridge, hearing the stream rushing wildly beneath us to an unknown destination. She was the one choosing our path while I followed her lead. However the pace was never too fast, especially since we encountered a few puddles on the ground and we had to be careful around them, not only not to fall but because if we speeded up we would soil our clothes and our escapade would be uncovered.

"Careful with the..!" She warned.

She tried...I'll give her that, but it came too late and next thing I knew I was falling to the dirt. I was unable to avoid a large rock and the momentum was enough to project me forward and over the handlebars. I felt confused with it all; only remembering the squeaking of brakes and the sound of Delphine's bike falling helplessly to the ground. By the time the blonde approached me I was already holding my left leg, biting my lip to keep from cursing and blinking my eyes several times to keep the tears from pouring down my face.

"I tried to warn you…" Delphine said in an almost exasperated tone, but the concern in her voice was louder. "You should've been watching where you're going."

"Yeah, yeah… I'm clumsy," I tried to dismiss her, but fuck, my knee was killing me. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Here, let me see…" She said quietly, her hands reaching for mine and pulling them aside. "How could you not see that big rock?" She commented absentmindedly.

I looked back and noticed that she had a point: the thing was huge and the only defense I had was that its color was sorta the same brown tone as the path. Maybe I was more distracted, carefully observing Delphine riding in front of me, than what I thought; these stupid school skirts are very…

"Hey!" I interjected, feeling fingers probing around my scratched knee.

"Who's being a girl now?" She asked with a ridiculously cute and teasing smile on her lips.

I huffed, my stare moving from the captivating smile to her hands around my knee. Delphine started to frown as the wound began to bleed, delayed as the skin loosened when she encouraged me to lower my leg. After a few moments, she reached for her bag and produced the same pack of tissues from earlier. Taking one out, she started to clean around the wound, mindful of not pressing over it, her lower lip trapped by her teeth in concentration. I swallowed discreetly, the pain momentarily forgotten. She took her time and when she was satisfied, she got up and stretched her hand to help me up.

"You should get it cleaned when we get back," she said, balling the tissue and storing it away.

"Don't worry, I'll keep your name out of it," I assured her, taking her hand and pulling myself up.

"I was not thinking about…" she stopped and started to laugh, her gaze moving along my body.

"I'm glad my misery amuses you," I said annoyed.

"Ohhh… you poor thing," she mocked. "You were lucky! So what? You have a scratched knee and dirt all over your clothes… big deal! It could've been a lot worse."

I looked down myself, my clothes were a mess and blood was still running down my leg, but a smile reached my lips and then a laugh, joining Delphine. "I see your point…"

"Do you?" She asked with humor, raising her brow. "Cause I don't think you see anything very well. You might need glasses."

"Great! Thanks doctor Cormier!" I said sardonically, picking up the bicycle from the ground after dusting myself off. "How much do I owe for the consultation?"

"I'm serious," she continued in a more sober voice, taking a few steps to get her own bike. "I actually think it will look cute on you with the right frames…" She said while she climbed up and started to peddle back the way we came.

I gasped when I sat back on the bike and the ride back should've been hell. My knee had started to swell, and with each peddle, a sharp pain would remind me of the injury, and Delphine didn't bother to slow down for my benefit. But, instead, the whole time I was smiling. My grin didn't disappear even after she left to get ready for dinner - still not crossing the door of the shed, when we were returning the bikes. The smile didn't even fully vanish when I had to go to the infirmary and lie about the ugly, scratched knee. All I could think was that she called me cute, well not exactly… but you get my point.