A/N: And we're back in the past.
Also, I'm running out of adjectives to describe the amazing work my beta, Cophine, puts into these.
Saturday mornings were invariably spent in bed. Free of my roommate, who always left early, I would lazily drift in and out of sleep until I found myself wide awake with a book in my hands, my legs covered, propped against the headboard.
It was one of those days; the Saturday after our ride along the school's field. After a quick, limping run downstairs for some breakfast, and a hastily smoked joint, I was back in my the bed with a book. My knee had ached during the night, waking me up whenever I shifted into a position that put pressure on it. Even lying still, my knee throbbed in pain, like an hand was squeezing it uncomfortably, causing me to flinch occasionally. I delayed the beginning of the day until the need to use the bathroom became impossible to ignore, distracting me from my reading. With a pained groan, I rose from the bed, bending my legs once or twice, hoping my muscles would obey and reached for the small pouch that contained my toiletries. Tucking it under my arm and grabbing the towel on my way out, I made my way slowly down the hallway.
Contrary to weekdays, when I always had to wait for my turn, the locker room was completely empty and I was allowed to choose whichever shower I wanted. Another advantage was the opportunity to take my time without being scolded by girls who, incredibly, managed to be even later than I. The warm water soothed my injured knee, and I was barely limping when I casually dragged myself back to my room, towel wrapped securely around my body, holding in the residual heat for just a little longer.
Upon reaching the door, I paused, surprised to see it almost closed, a sliver of light bisecting the hallway floor, when I clearly remembered leaving it wide open. While it was not uncommon to receive visits from one of the sisters - mostly looking for contraband - they knew I liked my Saturdays morning and usually were kind enough to reserve their inspections to another time, which obviously worked well for me.
Remembering the weed paraphernalia I'd carelessly left on my nightstand, I hesitated by the door, listening for any sign that I'd been caught. But everything was quiet. Perhaps a draft coming through the open window had pulled the door closed, I reasoned. Still, I could feel my heart pounding as I pushed the door and peeked inside.
My mind spiraled out in conflicting emotions. On one hand, I was relieved to see that Delphine was the intruder, and not one of the sisters, but at the same time, my heartbeat sky rocketed when my eyes landed on the tall, lean figure peering out the window. She was standing next to my unmade bed and dangerously close to the nightstand, where the little, black bag lay open for anyone to see the evidences of my crimes.
In loose denim jeans and a thick brown sweater, an attire she clearly reserved for the weekends, Delphine looked at me with the tiniest grin on her lips.
"Oh, hi..." my voice trailed off, surprised to see her in such a relaxed posture.
"Bonjour, Cosima," she said lightly, her voice ringing like a balmy spring breeze.
I shook my head, as if that simple gesture would be enough to pull me out of the daze I was in. It worked to some extent, and I strode across the room to the nightstand, mindful of the towel and pulling it tighter with my arm, not because I feared the cold - that thought had passed the instant I saw her - but to maintain some semblance of dignity. I threw what I'd been carrying on the bed and zipped shut the small bag and stored it on the dresser, under the shirts, where I usually kept it.
Delphine snorted at my diligence and after I was done, I quirked a brow. "It's like you want to get caught," she said on in a soft, playful tone.
"I was not expecting company," a smirk comes out of nowhere and graced my lips.
For a long moment, we remained silent, the awkwardness of the situation finally getting to us when I noticed her eyes skittering over me and saw a sudden redness taking over her features until she turned around. I took that opening to look for something to wear, quickly opening a drawer and reaching for underwear which I worked as fast as I could up my legs. The hurried motion drawing a gasp at the pain from my injured knee, momentarily forgotten until then.
"How's your knee?" Delphine asked, obviously reading the cause of my protest, but not looking at me.
"It has seen better days," I answered, pulling a sweater over the towel that I kept around myself.
It was only then that Delphine turned her head, just enough to see me out of the corner of her eye. "Do you mind if I..." she stopped and turned around completely. "Let me see!" She said in a stronger voice, but remained at the window.
I sat on the edge of the bed and nodded once, watching her approach me with slow but steady steps. Once in front of me, Delphine paused, worrying her bottom lip briefly before she sat next to me. After that small hesitation, her movements became fluid. With her hand on my shoulder, she urged me shift slightly, and then with that same hand, she reached for the back of my bruised knee, encouraging me to raise my leg and plant the foot on the mattress. Self-consciously, I adjust the towel around my legs to keep myself as covered as possible, while both her hands probed my leg, the tip of her fingers inspecting the tender flesh around the injury, causing me to bite down a wince. I don't know what Delphine was expecting to see, but it never crossed my mind to ask her about it or to pull my leg back and cut short her examination. In fact, the only coherent thought that came to my fuzzy mind was how delicate her impossibly cold hands felt against my skin.
"Delphine," I croaked when I felt the hand on the back of my knee grew tighter, not uncomfortably so, but firm nonetheless.
She raised her eyes to me and it was as if I could see her thoughts returning to the present from wherever they'd been, a small glimpse of sadness in her expression made my heart break a little, until she recovered some of her usual aplomb with a clear of throat.
"Looks like you won't be able to ride a bike for a few days," Delphine murmured, her hands not moving but relaxing her grip.
"I can do it, as long as we go slow," I offered lightly, the double meaning it could entail only occurring to me once the words were already spoken.
A small chuckle and a curt nod told me it was not lost on her and that, somehow, she was comfortable with the accidental insinuation.
"Do you want to go then?" She asked, her thumb absentmindedly starting to trace patterns along the side of my knee.
"Now?!" My voice laced with surprise and a lack of control.
She shook her head. "After lunch. Unless you have plans…"
"No, no…" I cut in quickly, not bothering to hide my eagerness. Even if that was possible, what was the point? "Let's do that!"
"Okay," she nodded one more time, her eyes moving lower to where her fingertips continued to spread goosebumps on my skin.
As if catching herself, Delphine rose quickly to her feet and crossed to the door. "I'll meet you outside," she said just before she left.
"Yeah… okay…" I said to no one, still mesmerized by her invitation and missing the chill her touch left on my skin.
As it usually happened on the weekends, the cafeteria was mostly empty and, due to the low turnout, several sisters had lunch with the few students that stayed in. A long table was occupied with all of us, the seats reserved for each person, more out of tradition than strict rules and, despite our apparently recent approach, Delphine was already at her customary seat on the opposite end of the table from where I had my meals. She gave me a small smile once she noticed me, but soon returned her attention to the tray in front of her.
I tried to keep up with the conversation that was thrown my way; the sisters often used this reprieve to ask about our studies and feelings in general. It's something that I normally enjoyed. Talking with them helped me not feeling so lonely, even if they were aware of my… proclivities, not once had they made me feel like a less deserving human being, their religious beliefs were never in the way of making me feel welcome. Strangely enough, the sisters were much more open minded than my fellow colleagues and if I felt out of place in the catholic boarding school it was because of the other students, never the women who ran the place. Of course, being one of their best students helped in that acceptance.
However, that day, I rushed lunch. The moment I saw Delphine getting up and carry her tray, I all but swallowed down the rest of my meal and stuffed the apple in my pocket, in a hurry to take my leave. I went up to my room and looking out the window saw that a light rain had started to fall, giving the illusion that the air was thick with fog. Fearing that the weather could ruin our plans for the afternoon, I wasted no time in grabbing a hooded sweater and quickly made my way downstairs.
My fears were unjustified it seemed, since Delphine was already there with her eyes on the sky and a small frown, while she kept herself just inside, safe from the rain, dressed in a coat that provided protection from the rain.
I stopped next to her and, like her, looked up at the white clouds. "Do you think it will hold?"
Momentarily her eyes moved to me, the pale reflexion of the sky making the subtle green speckles in her eyes brighter. "I don't think so," Delphine answered, her gaze once again settled ahead and giving a determined step forward.
I smirked and followed her lead, pulling the hood to my head. Light steps carry her straight to the abandoned shed but stopped at the entrance with a raised brow, waiting for me, still not wishing to go inside. I laughed to myself as I dragged the door open and rolled the bikes to where she was standing.
We didn't talk for a while, keeping a relaxed pace as we rode along the dirt path that lead to an area of the woods where the trees grew thicker; shadows of branches covered in green leaves covering the way. The occasional large drop of water fell on my head or shoulders, causing a temporary uncomfortable chill that quickly disappeared with the effort of peddling.
"So, where are we going?" I asked after ten minutes of companionable silence.
Delphine took her eyes off the path to stare at me for a couple of seconds. "Wherever we want," she replied in a carefree voice. "Unless you're already tired..." she teased.
I snorted. "No, not at all! But we need a destination of some sort," I defended. "I don't think I've ever been this far from school and my orientation skills suck."
She slowed down even more and we were moving at an almost sluggish pace. "I'm good at orientation," she commented with a proud grin.
"Don't tell me you were a girl scout," I mocked lightly.
She laughed and her hand left the handle to weakly punch the side of my shoulder. "Non," Delphine answered in fake annoyance. "When I was at my grand-maman I used to roam around the small village she lived in. I became quite the explorer!"
My laugh grew as a mental image came to mind.
"What?" That time she sounded honestly upset.
"Sorry," I said, trying to control my giggles. "I just find it hard to picture you running around the woods and getting dirt all over yourself."
Delphine stopped and slid off the bike without warning, her eyes shifting back at me to see if I'd do the same and I couldn't help my grin to spread upon seeing a little pout on her lips.
"I did!" She offered when I caught up to her, our bikes rolling next to us. "I scratched my knees countless times too and didn't make a big deal about it like you did yesterday."
I briefly paused, the indignation in her tone making me wonder if I'd crossed a line. Delphine took the bike off the path and carried it deeper into the woods, but when she looked back, I saw a taunting smile that promptly made me follow her.
"Why don't you go there anymore?" I bravely asked, remembering the last and only time we'd talked about her past. "It sounds like you really liked it."
She didn't immediately shut me down, though. With a thoughtful expression she scanned our surroundings and, finding a big, smooth, gray rock, green moss stuck on the sides, moved to sit there, not caring that it would cause her jeans to get wet and dirty.
"My mother remarried and that place belongs to my grandmother on my father's side," she explained in a sad, weak voice.
"So that man who comes with your mother...?" I didn't finish, Delphine was already shaking her head. "But you still see your father, right?"
"I was nine when they divorced, somehow my mother found a way to keep him away from me," she was starting to sound angry. "I suspect it has a lot to do with the indecent amount of money my new dad has." Delphine said darkly and picked up a loose small rock, frustratingly aiming it at the closest tree with impressive accuracy.
With measured steps, I approached her, my knee complaining as I made my way up the improvised seat, slipping slightly in the moss. I sat as closed as I dared, keeping our shoulders barely touching while I adjusted for a comfortable position.
"I'm really sorry, Delphine," I said under my breath, my head turned in her direction.
"Why?" She asked bitterly.
I ignore the little bite in her voice and just shrugged. "No one deserves that," I simply stated, not really knowing what else to say.
"Yes, no one deserves to know that their mother is a gold digger that ships her daughter to a fucking boarding school far away from everything and everyone she knows," Delphine vented and I let her, quietly hearing her getting increasingly aggravated, with my stare on the wet leaves covering the ground. "Who thinks it's acceptable to leave me in a strange country with a different language that she didn't even bother to be sure I knew. All this without asking me about it first, the only fair warning I had was arriving home to find luggage at the doorstep of my bedroom. Yeah... Nobody deserves that!" She concluded fiercely.
As the composed veneer of Delphine's facade cracked I said nothing, nor did I have a comforting word to give her once she finished. It never occurred to me that someone like her, who always seemed so in control, could have that much anger inside. And yet, when I really stopped to think about it, it made sense. Otherwise, why would she need to keep her emotions in check if not out of fear of what would happen if she allowed them free reign? Before that moment I didn't think it possible, but that was when I realized Delphine could be too emotional, and judging by what little I'd seen so far, I had no doubt that she'd scorch the earth around her, leaving no soul behind. On the other hand, my young mind started to wonder what would be like if she was not controlled by anger, but by much more docile emotions; what would happen then?
"Damn Delphine, that really blows," I said, trying to ease the tension, "but think of it this way: at least you got to know me."
My lame try at humor caused a weak smile to appear as glossy eyes moved to me. "Umm, c'est vrai..." she confirmed softly.
"Can you imagine how much more awful your life would be if that didn't happen?" I went on, encouraged by her grin growing and the softening of her features. "You've got to admit that your life is much more interesting with me in it!"
She started to laugh freely. "I think you're pushing it too far now."
"Oh yeah?" I challenged, my motions becoming more lively, the casualness of our little banter dragging me closer to her. "With whom would you work if not yours truly? Have you seen the other girls? That's a terrible bunch! I mean... I know they are your friends, but c'mon..."
"They're not my friends," Delphine dropped casually and I suddenly stopped my ridiculous monologue.
There was not a hint of sadness in the way she said it, not a sign that, in admitting something like that, she felt remorse or anger, not even a little bit upset by the honest reply she'd given me. Instead she said it as a simple observation, because it probably was - even for her. As I'd come to realize during the time we've spent together, Delphine's self-awareness was miles ahead of the other girls our age, perhaps even from me, and that simple statement only solidified this notion. That was when I was sure it wasn't my infatuation with the beautiful blonde that caused me to imagine things; it was an undeniable fact. Delphine was indeed like no one I've ever met before.
On the other hand, I suspected that she hid this aspect of herself when she was around other people. She clearly didn't consider them friends, but it didn't mean that the other students felt the same - actually I was pretty sure our colleagues remained ignorant of Delphine's true nature. So, the way I saw it, there were two reasons for it, and they weren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Either Delphine didn't care and let them think whatever they liked, or she allowed them their delusion in order to benefit from being the popular girl. Whichever situation was true, it came with a burden: people got too interested in her life and I had a feeling she was not okay with that.
"Maybe you should get some real friends then..." I said quietly, my eyes on her and a weak smile on my lips. She hummed and said nothing else. "Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday in the courtyard?" I asked, because I had the feeling that her sudden change might somehow be connected with it.
Delphine looked away from me and became faintly agitated. "No," she answered curtly.
"Okay," I yield easily, not remotely interested in disturbing her any further. My curiosity quickly fading under the prospect of shattering the peaceful mood we found ourselves in.
"Can we just stay like this?" She urged gingerly, her arm moving to wrap around my own.
"Yeah… of course," I choked, my head nodding vigorously.
Not a moment had passed when I felt her head come to rest on top of my shoulder, her body crossing the boundary of my personal space, leaning against me. If she noticed the ragged breath I took, she gave no sign. The same way I never knew if she realized how rapidly my heart started to beat when I felt her hand moving down my arm and her long, cold fingers fill the space between my own. I thought I heard her sigh gently, but I could never be sure at the time; my mind was too clouded to be sure of anything, and clarity was not an option when her thumb started to brush with the most delightful of touches along the back of my hand.
The wind whispered between the leaves of the tree right above us, making a few drops of water to fall around us and the gentle sound of the woods becoming a gracious soundtrack to our silence.