A/N: Hi all! Thanks for all the love on the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well!
…
The next couple of weeks went by agonizingly slow for Rachel. She was counting down the days until regionals, knowing it was her last opportunity to see Shelby before summer started and she would no longer have an excuse to see her until glee competitions kicked off the following school year.
Rachel couldn't figure out why she was looking forward to seeing Shelby. She knew seeing her wasn't going to change anything. Shelby wouldn't suddenly decide at regionals to start a relationship with her, and it wasn't like Rachel was going to go up to her and demand she change her mind. But still, there was something about knowing Shelby would be there in the audience watching her, even if it was as their competitors coach, that calmed her.
Rachel was pulled from her thoughts when she felt a light tap on her shoulder.
"Uhm, the bell rang like five minutes ago. I saw you in here when I was walking out to my car. Do you need a ride?"
Rachel looked up into the pretty hazel eyes that were filled with as much sadness as her own. "No thank you, Quinn. I don't want to inconvenience you. Besides you should be resting."
Quinn rolled her eyes and placed a hand absentmindedly on her protruding baby bump. "Come on, Berry. I'll take you home."
Rachel nodded and got up from her seat, trailing behind Quinn to her car. "Thank you again." She said as she got in. "It's getting way too hot to walk."
"You walk from your house to school everyday?" Quinn asked in disbelief as she started her engine and backed out of her parking space.
Rachel was quick to shake her head while fastening her seatbelt. "Only on the days my dad and daddy work early." She said, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as Quinn made a left instead of a right. "You're going the wrong way to my house."
"We're not going to your house." Quinn said nonchalantly. "We're going to get some food. You're looking skinnier than normal these days, Berry. And I'm always looking for an excuse to go to Breadstix."
"Oh." Rachel said with a slight smile. "Okay."
Twenty minutes later and Rachel was sat facing Quinn, eating her favorite vegan pasta dish while Quinn worked her way through her chicken. The conversation was light, and Rachel was surprised at how at ease she felt in Quinn's company.
"How are you handling things?" Quinn asked suddenly, causing Rachel to arch up a questioning eyebrow.
"You know, things. Like, the Jesse break up, the VA kids," Quinn paused, breaking eye contact and looking down at her chicken, "Shelby." She said softly.
"Oh." Rachel said, trying to swallow down the lump in her throat that formed as soon as Quinn mentioned Shelby. "Honestly, I'm fine. Besides, you shouldn't be worrying about me. Worry about the baby."
"The baby is fine." Quinn snapped. "I go to all my appointments and I know she's healthy."
"That's great." Rachel said, a little too forcefully.
"But I'm worried about you, Rachel." Quinn said so softly that Rachel almost missed it. "I think the whole club is. You've been different lately. You're not as annoying as you usually are, and you're losing weight. You've retreated into yourself. What's going on?"
Rachel tried as hard as she could to hold in her tears, not wanting to embarrass herself in front of Quinn, and she cursed when she felt a single tear make its way down her cheek.
"I've just had a lot on my plate is all. And you're right, the Jesse and Shelby situation happening right on top of each other really put me down, but I'll be okay." Rachel said, forcing a smile onto her face. "If you're worried this will affect my performance at regionals, I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional."
Quinn shook her head. "I'm not worried about regionals, Rachel." She said, reaching across the table and laying her hand gently on top of hers. "I'm worried about you. If you ever need anything, you can come to me." She said, giving her hand a squeeze before letting go. "I want us to be friends."
"Friends?" Rachel asked.
"I know I haven't always treated you the best, and I'm truly sorry for that. But yes, Rachel, friends."
Rachel nodded her head once before turning her attention back to her meal. "Friends."
…
The weeks following the egging incident flew by for Shelby. Between punishing her VA kids, holding countless board meetings, grading papers, thinking about Rachel and holding rehearsals, she was exhausted.
It was the night before regionals, and Shelby finally had some downtime for herself. She uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured herself a healthy glass, having every intention of finishing the entire bottle and watching mindless reality television for the night. But when she sat down on the couch and took a sip of wine, all she could think was that something was missing. There wasn't a weight of a teenager pressed into her legs, or sprawled out taking a nap on her sofa lightly snoring. This couch now held memories of Rachel. Memories of what could have been.
Shelby got up with a huff, not bothering to flip off the television and walked straight towards her office, where she grabbed a box off of the very top shelf of her trophy case. She took the box and sat in an oversized chair that was tucked away in the corner of her office and put down her glass of wine and gently removed the lid, tears filling her eyes the second she did.
The first item in the box was a receiving blanket. The very receiving blanket her little girl had been swaddled in just moments after entering the world. Shelby ran her fingers gently over it as if it were fragile, before placing it delicately on the arm of the chair. The next thing she took out was a teddy bear, and when Shelby squeezed his arm, Rachel's heartbeat from one of her sonograms filled the room. Shelby let out a choked sob as she remembered having to beg one of the nurses to give her a recording of just one of the sonograms for weeks on end before she finally gave in. Shelby gave the bear one more squeeze before rifling through the rest of the box, which was filled with every single ultrasound picture, Rachel's hospital bracelet, and Shelby's prized possession that was tucked away in the very bottom.
Two photographs lay side by side in protective sleeves and Shelby sobbed as she picked up the first one. It was a professional shot of her eight month pregnant belly being cradled every so carefully by her hands. She had snuck away for a couple hours a month before she was due and had maternity pictures done without telling the Berry men. The rest of the pictures were on a hard drive, but this one had been her favorite.
It wasn't until Shelby picked up the second picture that she finally broke down into full blown sobs. LeRoy had given it to her before they left the hospital with Rachel. Saying he didn't mean to take it, but thought she would appreciate it. He thanked her again and left. The picture in question was a full shot of the hospital room. Shelby laying back tiredly in her bed, beaming with absolute joy as the doctor stood in front of her, holding up a beautiful baby girl. Her baby girl. Shelby had never felt so much joy as she did in that moment. And then reality came crashing down and the doctors took her away, they took her baby, and her joy was quickly replaced with grief and regret and what she had done. What she had given away. What she had given up.
Shelby wiped her eyes and carefully put everything back in the box before putting it back up in its safe spot and downing the rest of her wine, trudging up the stairs towards her bedroom. She climbed into bed and thought about tomorrow. She would get to watch her daughter perform on stage again, and even if she couldn't be there as her mother, she was comforted by the fact that she would get to watch her regardless.
Hours later found Shelby pinching the bridge of her nose as her students all crammed into their dressing room. The smell of hairspray and axe body spray mixing together was giving her a headache. Normally the excited buzz that was currently radiating from all her students excited her, but today, it was annoying her. She wanted to make sure she got to the side stage before New Directions went on, and she couldn't do that until the kids all settled down and she could trust they wouldn't leave the dressing room again.
"Jesse." She snapped. Trying to suppress her laugh as the boy tripped over his own feet in an effort to quickly make it to her. He had been sucking up to her ever since the egging incident. "Make sure everyone stays here. If a single toe makes its way out of the door frame, we won't compete. Got it?"
"Yes coach." He said earnestly.
Shelby gave him a quick smile before eagerly making her way to the side stage, slowing down when she saw that Will was standing there as well.
"Mind if I join you?" She asked softly, coming to stand beside him.
"Shelby, hi." He said with a smile, leaning in to give her a quick hug. "Of course not. The more the merrier."
She gave him a smile but snapped her attention to the stage when the opening notes to Journey's Faithfully began playing. The moment Rachel came out during the second verse, Shelby couldn't keep her eyes off of her daughter. She was so talented, and Shelby was more than proud watching her own the stage with the rest of her team. She blinked back tears and smiled as they started their next number. "They're doing amazing, Will."
"Thanks." He said with a slight blush. "They worked really hard. They've been rehearsing like crazy."
"You can tell. Let's just hope Finn doesn't give Rachel another black eye in the future." Shelby said with a playful wink.
"What?" Will asked. Finally turning away from the stage to look at Shelby. "What do you mean?"
"Rachel said Finn accidentally elbowed her in the face at rehearsal a few weeks ago. I saw the bruise under her eye and asked what happened and that's what she told me."
Will scrunched his face up in confusion. "Finn never elbowed Rachel, Shelby. I don't have them near each other for that reason. Rachel's the perfect level to accidentally get knocked around by him, so I purposefully don't ever put her near him."
"Oh." Shelby said, confused why Rachel would lie to her. "That's weird. Why would she lie to me about something like that?"
Will shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention back to the stage. "Who knows. Maybe she was clumsy and did it to herself and was embarrassed. Or maybe she just didn't feel comfortable enough talking to you given the circumstances."
Shelby nodded and tried not to be hurt at his words and turned her attention back to Rachel. "Yeah." She mumbled. "Maybe."
…
Rachel walked off the stage with a smile on her face, confident in how well her team just did.
"Hey!" Quinn yelled, waddling to catch up to her. "You did amazing out there!" She beamed.
"Thank you, but it wasn't just me. We all did amazing." Rachel responded earnestly.
Quinn nodded in agreement. "We're all going to meet in the green room to watch Vocal Adrenaline, want to come with me?"
Rachel smiled at her new found friend and for the first time in months, actually felt happy. "No. You go ahead, I have something I need to do first."
Quinn nodded, giving her hand a quick squeeze before taking a left towards the green room. Rachel took a shuddering breath and made her way back towards the lounge where the refreshments were. Once she made sure the room was completely empty, Rachel sat down on an oversized couch and let out a shuddering breath before breaking down into pained sobs. Her body ached so badly, and the tears running down her face were a mix of relief that she no longer had to put on a front and pain.
She jumped when she heard the lounge door open and quickly wiped at her face, hoping to remove any evidence of tears.
"Rachel?"
She spun and found herself face to face with her mother and felt a fresh round of tears making their way to the forefront of her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to collapse into her embrace and beg her to never let her go.
"Shelby, hi." Rachel stuttered, making her way over to the counter to make herself a cup of tea. "My throat was feeling a little itchy so I thought I'd get a cup of tea." She said, a little less wobbly this time.
"You were incredible out there, Rachel." Shelby said earnestly, slowly making her way towards the counter. "Absolutely incredible. I'm so proud of you."
Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and begged her body not to betray her. The last thing she needed was to cry in front of Shelby. "Thank you." She said softly, reaching for the sugar on the shelf over heard."
"What is that?" Shelby exclaimed.
Rachel scrunched her brows in confusion at the sudden urgency in Shelby's voice. "Sugar?" She replied, confusion laced in her voice.
"No." Shelby said, shaking her head causing her brown locks to wave from side to side. "That." She whispered, gently taking Rachel's arm into her own and turning it over, revealing deep purple bruises that resembled fingers.
Rachel's stomach turned to ice and she suddenly felt sick. "Oh that," said said shakily, "I almost fell in rehearsals the other day, but Finn caught me by my arm. I bruise really easily."
"Rachel." Shelby said softly. "Is somebody hurting you?"
Rachel shook her head furiously. "No. I'm just really clumsy." She said, turning away when she felt a single tear slip down her face.
"Honey, if someone is hurting me you can tell me." Shelby said taking a step forward. "Maybe I should go talk to one of your dads. They can probably handle this better than I can."
"No!" Rachel yelled, spinning on her feet. "They aren't here anyways. They had to work this weekend. Really, Shelby, I'm fine."
Shelby nodded her head and was about to walk away when a small voice in her head told her to stay, to keep pushing.
"Rachel, I don't think you are. You lied to me about how you got the bruise on your face, and I think you're lying about the bruise on your arm too. You look like you've lost weight too." Shelby said calmly, taking another step forward and reaching out to brush a stray tear off of Rachel's face, smiling softly when the girl closed her eyes and leaned into her touch. "I can help you, baby. You just have to tell me what's going on."
Rachel opened her mouth to speak but was cut off when the lounge door went flying open and Finn came crashing into the room. "Rachel!" He yelled. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Quinn went into labor." He all but screeched before running back out the room.
"I'm sorry, I have to go." Rachel said, quickly trailing behind Finn, leaving a devastated Shelby in her wake.
…
Shelby didn't have it in her to be happy when Vocal Adrenaline was announced the winner. Her winning meant Rachel's team lost. And the look on her daughter's face was absolutely devastating.
Shelby waited until the kids had all settled down on the bus before telling them that she wouldn't be attending the celebratory dinner, something she normally would never miss, due to a family emergency. She made her way off the bus before anyone could ask any questions and made a beeline for her car, determined to get to the Berry's house to figure out what the hell was going on with her daughter.
She stopped short when she heard sniffling from around the building and her daughter's voice pleading with someone.
"Please daddy, my ride isn't here. She went into labor after the performance and everyone else left." She sobbed into the phone. "If you don't come get me I'll have to sleep here, no one else is answering and I have no money for a cab."
Shelby watched as her daughter's shoulders shook with silent sobs and nearly lost it when Rachel cried out in anguish and dejectedly dropped her phone to her side, and plopped down onto the curb.
Shelby carefully walked over as to not startle the girl and placed a gentle hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles and waiting for Rachel to calm down before speaking.
"Rachel," she started cautiously, "are your dads hurting you?"
Rachel let out a pained whimper and collapsed into Shelby's chest, giving the older woman the confirmation that she needed. She pulled the younger girl closer to her, cradling her head underneath her chin. She willed her own tears away, not wanting to break in front of the already broken down teen. "It's okay, baby. I'm never going to let them hurt you again."
A few hours later Shelby pulled into her driveway and smiled sadly at the teenager sleeping peacefully in her passenger seat. She had no fucking clue what she was supposed to do. She knew there was not a chance in hell that she was letting Rachel back into the home of the Berry men, but she also didn't know if Rachel was legally allowed to stay with her. She sighed and killed her engine, knowing she'd have to call her lawyers emergency number the second she got Rachel settled in.
She unfastened her seatbelt and turned towards the sleeping teen, brushing a couple of stray hairs out of her face. "Rachel, sweetie, wake up."
It took a couple of minutes but Rachel finally opened her eyes, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion, before meeting Shelby's eyes and breaking down into another round of tears.
"Oh, sweetheart." Shelby sighed, leaning over the console to hug her daughter, jumping back in surprise when Rachel shrugged away.
"You don't have to do this." She sniffed. "Just take me back to my dads. You've already told me you don't want a relationship with me. And I certainly don't want you to force one just because you feel bad for me." She cried out.
Shelby felt like she had been punched in the gut. Confused at first at how Rachel could possibly think she didn't want her, only for the confusion to turn into anger at herself for making the girl feel unwanted in the first place.
"Get your bag, Rachel. And we can talk inside." She said softly. Getting out of the car before Rachel had a chance to respond.
…
Rachel sat in the corner of Shelby's couch, wearing borrowed sweats and a T-shirt, clutching a steaming mug of lavender tea. She was waiting patiently for Shelby to return from her bedroom so they could 'talk'.
Rachel couldn't figure out why Shelby even bothered giving her clothes to wear, or telling her to 'make herself comfortable.' She knew how this talk was going to end. It always ended the same way when it came to Shelby.
Rachel was pulled from her thoughts when Shelby sat down on the other end of the couch. She was also in sweatpants, her makeup was off and her hair was thrown back into a bun. Rachel smiled at how much softer she looked when she wasn't dressed up as Coach Corcoran.
"You said in the car you think I feel sorry for you. And that's why I brought you here." Shelby stated, taking Rachel by surprise at how she jumped right into the hard conversations.
"Yes." Rachel whispered quietly. "You told me that day we sang together that you were my mother and not my mom. And that it was too late for us." Rachel sniffed. "That we couldn't have a relationship."
Shelby smiled sadly and nodded. "You're right, I did say those things. But do you know why I said them Rachel?" She asked, and Rachel shook her head no. "I said them because I thought you had two wonderful, loving, doting fathers at home. And because I thought it was extremely selfish for me to barge my way into a family that already had everything they needed." She said softly. "It was selfish for me to come into your life the way I did. It was reckless, and stupid. But it was all driven by one thing. My love for you."
Rachel looked down into her tea and felt tears slip down her cheeks. "If you love me so much then why did you walk away?"
"Because I love you so much." Shelby answered simply. "I love you so much I knew I couldn't put you through the pain and confusion of figuring out a relationship with me."
Rachel nodded. Still not quite understanding, but getting the gist.
"Honey, why didn't you tell me you were being hurt?" Shelby asked calmly.
"I didn't want that to be the only reason you wanted to be in my life." Rachel answered with a sob. "And it had only just started. They didn't always hit me. The first time they hit me was actually that same day we sang together and said our goodbyes." She paused to take a sip of tea and collect herself. "Before it was just yelling. Lots of yelling. And then fighting over whose turn it was to do things with me. Then it got to the point neither one showed up to anything anymore. I walk myself too and from school." Rachel said, struggling to keep her voice even. "And then they hit me. And once they started, it didn't stop."
Rachel looked up and was surprised to see that Shelby's eyes were glassed over. "I'm so sorry, Rachel." She whispered. "You have to know I had no idea. I would have never in a million years walked away from you if I had the slightest clue."
Rachel nodded her head. "I know. I don't blame you."
Shelby smiled at Rachel. "I also need you to know that I have always loved you Rachel. These past sixteen years there has not been a single day that I didn't think about you or miss you." She said honestly. "The day I gave you up a piece of my heart went with you."
Rachel didn't say anything. Choosing to bask in Shelby's words. "What now?" She asked.
"Well, I have a lot more questions but I think those can wait a little bit. I'm calling my lawyer first thing in the morning to get all of this sorted out." Shelby said determinedly. "You will never step foot in that house again. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you ever again."
Rachel saw a tear splash down on her hand and wiped at her face furiously, embarrassed that she was crying again.
"And as for the right now part of the 'what now'" Shelby said, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch as she did. "I want to hold my baby."
Rachel let out a sob and greedily lunged herself into Shelby's arms. Crying into her shoulder as Shelby laid them back and wrapped the blanket around them. "It's okay. I got you."
Rachel woke with a start several hours later, and it took her a couple of moments to realize her and Shelby had fallen asleep on the couch. She smiled when she felt how tightly Shelby was holding onto her. She was just getting ready to settle back down against her chest when she realized what had woken her.
Her phone was buzzing like crazy in the pocket of her sweatpants, and she nearly cried out when she saw how many missed calls and texts she had from both her dad and daddy, each text getting nastier and nastier, until the final one finally sent her over the edge and left her sobbing.
"Shelby." She cried, sitting up and shaking the older woman's shoulders. "Shelby, wake up. Please you have to wake up."
Finally the older woman sat with a start and immediately grabbed onto Rachel. "What's wrong?" She muttered sleepily.
"My, my dads." Rachel cried. "They must have come to get me last night from regionals, and I wasn't there and they're really angry." Rachel gasped for air. "Daddy's last text said they were going to have my phone traced and come find me." Rachel cried hysterically. "Please don't let them take me." She begged.
"Shhh." Shelby said pulling Rachel's head into her chest. "No one is taking you anywhere." She said, reaching for Rachel's phone and powering it down. "Put some shoes on. We're going to go to the police station right now and make a statement. That was already a part of the plan today, but we're going to do it first now, okay?"
Rachel nodded and let out another sob.
"I know you're scared, baby. But I promise you, I will not let them take you. Do you understand me?" Shelby asked sternly.
"Yes." Rachel said, starting to calm down.
"Good." Shelby said, taking a breath to compose herself. "Get your shoes and let's go."
Rachel nodded and walked to the entryway where she had left her shoes the night before. She was just slipping on her second shoe when she caught a glimpse of the front yard.
"Shelby." She said quietly. "They're here."