A/N: looks like it's flashback week!

Thanks to Cophine for the amazing work.

In a short period of time, we developed a system. Mornings were dedicated to our classes, and during the breaks in between, Delphine would often join me at my desk, keeping a comfortable distance and the conversation to the subject at hand. To a casual observer, it would appear she'd found a new friend while abandoning the old ones - and we were friends. At lunch we would be joined by Delphine's other new friend, Scott, whose infatuation with the gorgeous blonde was ill-disguised, but perfectly innocent. And who could blame him, really?

But the best part of the days were after lunch. We would leave the awkward young man to head to the library where it was perfectly acceptable to sit right next to each other, chairs dragged as close as possible. Anything was a good reason to exchange a fleeting touch or a whisper into each other's ear. Truth be told, the paper was already complete. We'd discussed every little sentence to exhaustion because there was really nothing else to add.

It was for the benefit of others - I knew even then. The only reason we kept meeting at the library and pretended to work on the assignment was because it provided a good pretext to continue getting together. Delphine might've been on a path to change, but she was still clinging to her old life. Appearances were still part of who she was, even if their role had seriously diminished. Maybe it was because I feared that bringing this to her attention would cause her to break our arrangement, but I never raised the question, and we kept meeting in the library, uselessly wasting our time, going over and over our finished work.

Besides, if anyone bothered to look closely - and I was sure many did - they could see right through our facade. We made little to no effort in hiding our intimacy when in the library. Perhaps she thought the rules didn't apply as they did in any other public place. It was all rather pointless, really, but it seemed Delphine thought it necessary and I just went along with it.

Some times, we lingered more than others, two even three hours, while on other occasions it was barely half an hour before we packed our things and quickly made for the door. More often than not, and anytime the weather permitted, we would go back to the old shed and get the bikes - with Delphine on guard duty at the door, refusing to enter. We would take the same bikes and peddle away. If, like I suspected, our petty theft was known to the school administration, no one ever bothered to secure the decaying building with a more efficient lock.

Together we explored the woods surrounding the school grounds, Delphine carrying her backpack with a small sketchbook and the occasional snacks. Even if there was a light rain, we would go out anyway and seek shelter under the thick trees to talk. Delphine would tell me about her plans to look for her father once she graduated, even at the expense of her studies. She missed her home country, with a more forgiving weather and the caring of a father that didn't relegate her to the background as an inconvenience to be shipped away and occasionally visited to maintain the appearance of a concerned parent. Mostly, she missed having some sort of control of her life, even if limited by her youth. Several times, Delphine professed hatred towards her mother and how the woman who was supposed to protect her made the conscious decision to remove her daughter from her life in favor of a man whose only advantage was financial stability.

Compared to her I was a lot less practical. When it was my time to share, I would stammer, my future even bleaker than hers. My only option was to hope for a full scholarship, and if I wasn't that lucky, I would have to rely on the little savings I inherited from my grandmother and hope for the best.

"You really need to have a better plan," Delphine told me with some humor after I revealed this to her. "Before long we'll be out of here and have to face the real world."

I shrugged. "Sister Mary is helping me with some applications," I said, referring the school counselor. "She says I have some really good options, most likely in England. They have a few University affiliates that are willing to take me in if I'm able to keep my grades."

"Oh… I see… That's why you were so worried about our paper," she comments with irony, giving me an amused look.

"I don't need this paper for my grades." I chuckled. "But I needed you to know I could be just as stubborn."

Delphine smirked, laying her sketchbook aside with the few doodles she had been scribbling since we sat under the large tree. She said nothing, only kept smiling as she moved to sit on my lap and placed both hands on my cheeks, tilting my head up to receive a small peck on my lips.

"I've never doubted your ability to be stubborn," she murmured against my lips, with a little laugh.

My arm wound beneath her coat and I pulled her closer to me, tugging on her lower back while she adjusted to be more comfortable, her nose brushing against mine with a small sigh. I raised my head up, searching for another kiss and Delphine complied. She lowered her head and pulled me to her mouth, the grasp on my face tightened just barely and her body scooted closer.

It was gradual, the way we adapted to each other, the way we began to learn the boundaries we could breach and when, but it was always Delphine who set the pace, much slower than my eagerness demanded. When my hands strayed too far from what she seemed comfortable, she wouldn't say a word, but would subtly move them back to safer territory. And I would let her guide me, groaning in slight frustration, but I would submit, feeling my hands being dragged away from silky soft skin and placed over the fabric of her clothes.

Although, not that time. That time, when my hands pulled the shirt from the waist of her skirt and skimmed her lower back, feeling smooth skin, Delphine didn't stop me. Instead she deepened the kiss. I felt her take a deep breath against my lips, and her hands left my face, arms wrapping around my neck to pull me closer and her waist surged forward. Encouraged, I allowed my hands to move more freely, the initial tension in my arms loosened and I took her hips in my hands, letting my fingers dig in her flesh and she responded with a faint moan that sounded like music to my ears. Her tongue swept over mine, exploring openly as she hadn't before, and she attached her mouth to mine, robbing me of breath and pulled my body to hers.

I felt slightly dizzy. My lips moved with purpose, and I felt the slopes of her graceful form melt into mine as her deep breaths pushed her chest against mine, giving my hands some sort of electric energy. It was an unconscious action that drew my right hand up, and only when her soft skin ended and I felt the lace of her bra, did I stop, but my hand remained still, a touch that hardly made any real contact. Delphine gasped, but instead of pushing me away, her hands cradled my face, and she guided my head to her neck with unrestrained impatience. Despite my surprise, I didn't hesitate, drawing my lips along her long neck, laying soft kisses. I could feel the rapid thumping of her heart beneath my lips and her tense fingers digging into the unruly waves of my hair. I didn't even think about questioning her intentions; my body was working independently from my mind, which was uncharacteristically quiet. My only reaction was to follow her lead. My hand on her chest lost its shyness and rather than being reluctant, Delphine encouraged my exploration by pulling my lips to hers, muffling a groan as she began to slowly rock against me.

It took my other hand working at the top button of her shirt for Delphine to stop me.

"Cosima…" she managed between deep breaths.

Immediately I paused, my hands resting where they were and I looked up at her. "Sorry," I whispered, but it was meaningless; the only thing I was sorry for was stopping.

She leaned back and I let my hands drop to her waist, safely on the outside of her clothes. "It's just that…" Delphine's words came slowly.

"I know." I nodded, speaking softly as well, my hands smoothly rubbing her hips to give her some comfort, to keep her trust in me. "We can stop."

Delphine hummed and nodded also, the knuckles of her left hand brushing my cheek and she rested her forehead on mine, her breathing still labored, her right arm still wrapped around my neck. She didn't move for a long moment, but dropped her head to the curve of my neck and I pulled her closer with my arms around her waist. Meanwhile, I was struggling not to resume where we left off, my heart thundering in my chest, and my hands were itching to return to more pleasant activities.

When I returned to my room that night I could still feel her body pressed against me, her cold fingers playing with the small hairs at the base of my neck, her breath warming my skin. It was then that I knew I'd never felt desire before. I had wanted her close. I had craved her kisses and wished to feel her soft touch against my skin. But nothing like this. My body was abuzz and complaining with unrelieved desire. What we'd had so far had been enough, but not anymore. I wanted something else; I wanted more.

The change came right after that, and has remained a mystery to me to this day.

I first noticed it Monday, after one of the few weekends Delphine didn't stay in school. Or perhaps the change was before that and I just didn't realize it. She never mentioned her leaving for the weekend, and I only found out Saturday morning when she didn't show up for breakfast.

That Monday, Delphine didn't come to my desk. In fact, she scarcely looked at me before she was looking away. She ate by herself, leaving me and Scott puzzled when we saw her taking an empty table in the far end of the cafeteria. I said nothing, despite the looks my friend gave me, and remained silent, keeping my thoughts to myself, probably afraid of what he had to say.

When I didn't find her in the library or anywhere near it, I decided to look for her. The rain hammered violently against the windows of the large common area, the gusting wind making the glass tremble within the wooden frames, and I was sure she wouldn't go outside with weather like that. It was the sound of loud giggles, which supplanted the wind and rain that drew my attention to the corner where the popular crowd used to hang out during the afternoon. Among them, partially concealed by several heads, Delphine's blonde curls stood out.

I frowned, part of me unsure, perhaps thinking my eyes were deceiving me as I moved to get a better view. When I got the confirmation, I hesitated, wondering what the hell was going on and what would be the best approach. Without realizing it, uneasy steps were bringing me closer to the group.

"Delphine." I heard myself calling her in a barely audible voice.

She rose her eyes to me, her expression, which before was of glee, looked clueless. "Yes?" She asked in a confusion that I knew was fake.

I hesitated again, feeling all eyes on me as I uncomfortably shifted my weight from one foot to another. "Hmm… Weren't we supposed to meet in the library?"

"Why?" She knitted her brows, giving a surprised look at the other girls. It was all an act, for the benefit of others. In fact, she was the only one who knew what was going on, the rest of us being game pieces she moved as she pleased. "The paper is complete, right?"

"Well… yeah, but…"

I wasn't exactly confused as I was stunned. This came so unexpectedly that I was unable to react. Had it been today, when I was older and wiser, I would've been prepared, would've known how she can manipulate a conversation to her convenience. But I was too young, moved by emotions I couldn't control. It was as if she had years on me, a lifetime of experiences I knew nothing about, which made her more self-assured. She was steadily grounded while I was adrift, roaming without knowing where I was and even less of where I was going.

"Move along weirdo," one of the obnoxious girls, whose name I never bothered to learn, said with a flick of her wrist. "I don't want to be seen speaking to you."

That was the point when anger kicked in, flaring inside my chest and fueled by the laughter coming from the girls. My gaze landed on Delphine, who, despite not joining the laughter, didn't seem particularly disturbed by it as she looked at me briefly before her poised stare moved to focus on no one, on nothing at all.

"Then you should be fine, since I'm obviously not talking to you!" I snapped, my eyes going back to the girl.

She looked shocked for a moment, probably not used to be treated so harshly, before she gave me a mocking smile. "Seriously, Delphine, how did you manage to... associate with her for so long?" She then asked, looking at the blonde.

All eyes turned to Delphine, mine included and I waited for her response, for her validation, for her to prove my wary instincts were wrong. It couldn't possibly be true. She wouldn't have abandoned me without so much as an explanation. Things couldn't be right one day only to crumble the next. Even with the evidence right in front of me, I refused to believe it, the Delphine I knew wouldn't do such a thing. She was a caring soul, and even if she was a bit rough around the edges, her heart was in the right place.

"She was entertaining… for a while." It was her cold stare my way and the provocative smile that stung more, not exactly the words. "Of course, one gets bored of the pity act rather quickly." She twisted the knife and the girls continued to laugh.

I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms. I was beyond disappointed. Angry isn't a strong enough way to describe how I felt. I could feel the hate sipping into my body like a poison, carried to every inch of me by my blood with the beat of my raging heart.

"You didn't seem particularly bored when you were shoving your tongue down my throat!" I said in a cold, low voice, my stare locked on hers until she lowered her eyes and for the first time I saw her unforgiving mask waver.

There was a collective gasp, but I didn't stick around to contemplate any further reaction from Delphine or the other girls. I had no intention to be humiliated further. After I said the words, I turned on my heel and walked away.

I was too furious to really assess what had happened, and humiliated tears clouded my vision as I stormed into my bedroom, which was thankfully empty, and slammed the door shut.

I should've listened to my friend - my only friend - Scott. Why didn't I? Delphine had a reputation for a reason! But no… I wouldn't believe it. I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong. How pretentious I was! Thinking she was different… or maybe she was, just not for the best. Others wouldn't have gone to the trouble of leading me on just to cause irreparable damage. No, at least they were honest about it.

In the hours that followed, I couldn't rationalize that the vulnerability Delphine had displayed, or the affection she had showed, not so much with words but actions, would've been impossible to fake. I didn't even stop to think what could be at the root of such a drastic change; what must have happened to made her go from warm - some times even scorching hot - to cold and indifferent. All I knew was anger, a rage that consumed me for years to come, underlined by a rejection that I truly never overcame.

A/N: if everything goes according to plans, we will only return once more to the past to wrap this up.