Chapter 9

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Olivia pressed the replay button on her answering machine for the 3rd time and listened to the recording:

Carrie, pick up honey…It's Mom. I know I'm not supposed to call you but it is very important. Please pick up. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. It can't wait till Christmas or your birthday when you…allow us…to see you. We are your parents, Carrie. Will you ever forgive us for…I'm sorry for going there, but we have to talk, please…this is not something I can tell you over a machine. Call me, Carrie.

Her mother's call had come in at 5:00 AM that morning, its ring competing with the sound of her alarm. No one called Olivia that early. She had figured it was Abby calling about work. When she saw who was calling, she knew her day would not follow the plan she had set. She would be late for work because the routine she relied on was interrupted. Silencing the alarm, she lowered herself back on the bed.

Four hours later, Olivia was dressed and ready for work. It had taken that long for her to get equilibrium. She had built a life of certainty and predictability. To preserve that balance, she could only see her parents two times a year. Her mother knew this, but she still intruded. Why would she do that? That question invaded Olivia repeatedly. But what really consumed her was a nagging worry that it had to do with him, the one whose name she hadn't uttered since he was put away. The nagging worry turned to fear. Her parents always abided by her wishes since she moved to New York. It had to be about him. After a dizzying inner monologue about this Olivia finally decided to put it all away.

"I will not accept your resignation, Abiba. Whatever our disagreements, we can work to find a compromise," Olivia said evenly.

Abiba sat across from Olivia in her office looking unlike herself. Her locks which were usually arranged in an intricate upswept style were hanging in awkward angles around her shoulders as if they had just been taken down. The flowing bohemian attire she wore was replaced with jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt, and a leather jacket. She appeared younger with none of that commanding presence she usually exuded. Her expression had a weary and vulnerable edge to it.

She raised her head and stared at Olivia, her lids opening and shutting slowly. "Believe me, I don't want to resign, but some personal issues have cropped up that have prevented me from carrying out my duties," she said.

"Well at least you aren't saying you need more time to spend with your family. What is it? I'm not trying to pry, but maybe I can help you. Am I to assume this is the real reason you wanted to reduce capacity at SpaBliss?" Olivia said.

"Yes. I thought I could buy myself some time to work through my personal issues," she admitted, "but I should have known you wouldn't allow that."

"That is completely unfair, Abiba. You lie to me about your reasons for wanting to halt the success of my business, expect me to act according to what you want without any sound evidence, and then accuse me of being inflexible when I don't do what you want. To top it all off, you didn't give me all the information. Please be straight with me now, Abiba. That is all I ask," Olivia said, though it sounded like a demand.

Abiba inhaled deeply and leveled her gaze on Olivia. "Okay. Do you know David Oshiro?" she said.

"Yes, of course. He's one of the designers at Lotus. I would steal him away if I could afford him," Olivia said.

"He and I have been…involved for over 6 years—" Abiba began but Olivia interrupted her.

"And you mean involved how?" she questioned, with knit brows and a cocked eyebrow.

Abiba inhaled again and looked with frustration at the ceiling and back at Olivia. "Romantically, sexually…and yes I deserve that look you are giving me. You are asking yourself how I can be in a sexual relationship since I am asexual, right? With all due respect, Olivia, the specifics are not your busy, but—"

"Not my business? Not my business? That little fact was your biggest selling point during your interview, Abiba! You declared your asexuality as some kind of edge over any other candidate. Did you lie about why you left Lotus? Was it really for creative differences or did management find out about your affair with David, whom I've never seen you with by the way. He always has some gorgeous model type on his arm," Olivia said, "not that I'm implying you aren't a gorgeous model type…I've just never seen him with you."

"See I knew this was a bad idea. You can accept my resignation letter and let me move on," Abiba said.

"No…No…I need to know the rest. You were with David for most of your time at Lotus. That is presumably why you left. So now why do you want to leave Euphoria? You aren't in a relationship with someone here are you?" Olivia said, realizing how patronizing she sounded.

"No. David and I broke up when I left. To make a long story not quite so long, I am about 6 weeks pregnant with his child. And yes, I was asexual when I first started working at Lotus. We didn't want our relationship to get out so we were discrete. Having people think I am asexual makes my job easier, especially with first timers. Honestly, it doesn't make a difference in my actual work," she said.

"Does being pregnant make a difference?" Olivia asked.

"No…well I don't think so. I've never been pregnant before. This was a total shock. It may be uncomfortable for some clients once I start showing—"

"Have you told David, yet?" Olivia asked.

"No, and I don't plan to. It would be better if he didn't know." Abiba said.

Olivia clasped her fingers together and focused in on Abiba. "So, the only reason you are resigning is because you think I would have a problem with the lie you told about your sexual orientation and that you are pregnant?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"Well then, Abiba, that is good news. I do hate being lied to, but I don't care about your pregnancy. As long as you are okay with carrying out your duties, my only concern is for your health and my clients' satisfaction. We need to think about how to resolve the problem of clients having a problem. Is there anything else you need to tell me?" Olivia said.

"No, that is it," she said.

"Good. I must remind you, Abiba, you did sign a contract. Failure to abide by the terms will constitute a breach and force me to take legal action," she said.

"Yes, I know that, Olivia," she said, "I would expect nothing less from you."

When Abiba left the office, Olivia wasn't bothered by her sarcastic comment. Her job wasn't to be friends with her staff but to protect her business. In Olivia's mind, friendship was overrated. Abiba left with her job in tact, a lot more than what the proverbial shoulder to cry on could provide.

Olivia found herself thoroughly intrigued by this latest turn of events. She hadn't thought about her mom's voicemail message since the meeting had begun, which opened room in her mind to think about Fitz and their tentative lunch date. She called him.

"I have good news and bad news, Ms. Pope," he said, "which would you like first?"

"You can't meet me for lunch so you want to reschedule," she said.

"Well, now I'm trying to figure out which one of those is good or bad in your estimation," he said, a smile in his voice.

"That you can't meet for lunch isn't good or bad news. That you want to reschedule isn't good or bad either, Governor Grant," she said, "I know how to manage my expectations. Considering your line of work and that someone else manages your schedule, the chances of you being able to meet were highly unlikely."

"Well, aren't you the most pragmatic, levelheaded person when you aren't throwing me against the wall and shoving your tongue down my throat and my hand up your skirt," he challenged,

Her swift intake of breath made him chuckle. "I was hoping you hadn't forgotten about last night and filed it away under some asexual category," he said.

"Please don't mention that word to me again. Turns out it is just a label," she said.

Fitz shooed one of his staff out of his office. "I am sincerely enjoying our conversation. Please say we can meet later tonight. We can meet in public if you want at—"

"No. I'm not ready for that—" she said.

"Meaning there is a chance you will be open to being seen with me in public. My day just improved by 90%," he interrupted.

Olivia gathered the reports for her next meeting and said, "Meet me at my place—I know you have my address—tonight at 7. I'll cook this time and it'll actually be my cooking."

"Okay, that really hurt. I'm looking forward to it, though I hope the night ends a little different this time," he said suggestively.

"Yes, I would prefer to have a slice of cheesecake instead of sorbet, no offense to the sorbet, Bye Governor Grant see you tonight," she said, an impromptu smile escaping from her lips at his hearty laughter as she disconnected the phone.

"How dare you call her," Elijah demanded, "when I told you not to. You looked me in my eyes and promised, Maya."

"Stop speaking to me as if I am your child, Eli," Maya said, stretching back against the bed, a cold compress on her forehead. The migraine she thought was on its way out returned full force when her husband confronted her about calling Olivia.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice, honey, but haven't I taken care of this each time he's come up for parole?" Eli said.

"You have, Eli, but you won't be able to buy this new parole board. Half the members have retired, died or moved on. The parole hearing is three months away and you haven't gotten assurance of how they are going to vote. The bastard might get out and the white collar crimes you got him locked up for won't prevent him from preying on some—" she said.

"Maya, as long as I have breath in my body. That man won't set foot out of that prison a free man. Please have faith in me. I know you meant well by trying to warn her, but the damage you'll do will set our baby back a decade. I know it hurts that she relegates us to Christmas and her birthday, but that is better than never seeing her. She is successful in her own right even if it is in the adult entertainment industry," Eli said. He joined Maya on the bed, and massaged her temples.

She settled against him and let the tears stream from her eyes. "Do you think she sells that stuff because she is messed up in the mind, I mean intimately? Maybe that is why she hasn't had a relationship, Eli. I just worry about her. It's made worse by the fact that she won't talk to me. It's like she blames me….and she should. I missed all the signs…" Maya said, folding herself into a ball.

"Honey, don't do this. She doesn't blame you. Dr. Chase is close and she can see him whenever she wants. I need you to trust me. I'm going to get you your pain meds and put you in the shower before this migraine gets the best of you," Eli said, pulling her to sit up so he could undress her.

She reached out and hugged him and he hugged her back.

"Olivia, Good afternoon, How wonderful it is to see you today," said Dr. Chase, "I'm sorry for the delay." He walked into his office from the door to an adjoining room, greeting Olivia with a hearty handshake before taking a seat at his desk, grabbing his pad and pen, and turning to face her.

"It's not a problem. I knew I should have taken my time instead of rushing to get here on the hour. I left my…well it's okay. I'll make due," Olivia said, looking uncomfortable and mildly irritated at his lateness for an appointment Olivia had not made. Her standing appointment was on the hour at 2 or 3, but only if she decided to come. She tried not to be angry because it didn't make sense.

Dr. Chase reached in his desk and pulled out two boxes of trident gum and placed them on the table before her. "I have Spearmint, Wintergreen, and Strawberry," he said, "my apologies if these are not your flavors. I couldn't quite remember from last time."

Olivia smiled warmly and reached for the Wintergreen. "Dr. Chase, thank you for the gum. I rushed out of the office and forgot my gum," Olivia said. The gesture touched her deeply that tears welled up behind her eyes. She pushed them back down.

"I know I should stop chewing the gum. It has become sort of a crutch for me when I am anxious or need to work out a problem. I don't chew in front of anyone since I think chewing gum is gross and annoying. Hence one of my many hypocritical contradictions," Olivia explained.

Dr. Chase gave her a smirk. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Olivia. A bad habit here or there won't hurt you. Chew away. So what brings you in today?"

After about 30 minutes of talking about nothing and chewing three pieces of gum, Olivia finally opened up.

"I've been thinking how people can have really complicated issues surrounding sex, Dr. Chase. I've long accepted my sexual idiosyncrasies...or lack of sex in my idiosyncrasies but I'm thinking that 'normal' people have issues too," Olivia said.

"And by normal do you mean people who have not experienced a sexual trauma?" Dr. Chase asked.

"Yes. Take Abiba for instance…She lied to me about why she wanted to make some changes at work. Before that she lied about being asexual in the interview because she thought it gave her an edge. She masqueraded as such in her old job while having an affair with a man she worked with. Now she is pregnant by him and won't tell him," Olivia explained, "and she was going to resign, give up her job, because she thought I would fire her."

"I'm curious. Why didn't you let her go? She lied to you multiple times," Dr. Chase said.

"Well, I hired her to do a job. That is all that matters to me. And she looked extremely out of sorts. I felt I could offer some sort of help," Olivia said, "What helps her is ultimately a good thing for my bottom line so keeping her working will be of great benefit."

"I think you were being kind, Olivia." Dr. Chase said, "Being kind and a good businessperson are not mutually exclusive."

"My date with the governor last night was interesting. It was difficult to get through it because I was attracted to him. It was really disconcerting. It made me sort of aggressive. I kissed him and I think I want to have sex with him," Olivia said, quickly.

Dr. Chase's brows knit together, a clue to Olivia that he was concerned. "Isn't this a good thing?" Olivia asked.

"What do you think? Are you ready to open up to him and let him in? Are you ready to be vulnerable and share with him what happened—" Dr. Chase asked.

"Wait. No. I think you are misunderstanding me, Dr. Chase, I know the goal of therapy was to heal from the past and experience the whole spectrum of human emotions," Olivia said using air quotes, "Just because I want to have sex with this guy doesn't mean I want to fall in love or tell him my personal business. I enjoy our interactions. He is attracted to me. I am attracted to him. Nothing more. Considering the personnel issues I've had to deal with lately surrounding sex, what I want is as normal and uncomplicated as it gets."

"I understand what you are saying, Olivia, and it is healthy that you are acknowledging your attraction for him. All I am saying is that you can't continue to interact as you say with the governor and expect to keep things to be nice and neatly organized. What if he wants more from you? What if you want more? Human interaction is really messy and unpredictable, Olivia. I want you to account for the messiness and at least be ready for it, okay." Dr. Chase cautioned.

"Yes, Dr. Chase, I understand," Olivia said.

Olivia felt a distinct satisfaction when she pulled the large dish of lasagna from the oven, the sauce and cheese bubbling in the corners. Careful not to burn herself she gripped the glass dish and moved it slowly onto the cooling rack. She had about 30 minutes before Fitz was due to arrive and everything was right on schedule. He didn't know that her signature dish was lasagna as well. Seeing his face when he tasted it would bring her more satisfaction because she knew her lasagna would be tastier than his. She chuckled aloud admitting how much he brought out her competitive streak.

After a quick warming of the cheesy garlic bread, everything would be ready including the tossed salad. She'd picked up a small appetizer and caramel cheesecake at The Fresh Market on her way home. Tonight she felt less nervous and more in control. She even dressed the part. Instead of a soft, feminine dress, she chose mint green bolero pants, a white silk camisole, a matching mint green jacket, and ballet flats. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Her makeup was subtle.

At 6:55, her doorbell rang. As she passed the mirror by the door, thoughts of her mother's message arose in her mind. Why didn't I mention it to Dr. Chase? she asked herself.

The doorbell rang again, but she couldn't move forward. Reaching in the drawer, she searched for a pack of gum. She was torn between not answering the door and answering the door with gum in her mouth. Choosing the later, she moved forward and opened the door. When she opened the door and saw him, she knew that wearing ballet slippers had been a mistake. It exaggerated their height difference in a way that made her feel like a dwarf, but seeing him again felt good. He had dressed differently as well trading his suit slacks for khakis and a white linen shirt. They had both gone for comfort.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were trying to get me to express my eternal love for you," said Fitz. He was on his third serving of lasagna.

Olivia gave him a genuine frown, "Why would you say that?" she said.

"You know they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and this meal is divine," he explained, "and you have put my lasagna to shame. I won't be able to make it for you now."

"I'm glad you like it. I had forgotten you mentioned that lasagna was your specialty," she said.

"Liar," he said, staring directly at her, "you were showing off, plain and simple."

She moved her chair closer to him surprising herself. "Well, maybe a little."

Fitz leaned in and cupped her jaw with his hand. She responded by leaning into his palm.

"Tell me something true and honest, Olivia," he said.

"I like you," she said.

He leaned closer and brushed his lips across hers.

"Tell me something true and honest that I don't already know," Fitz said.

Olivia leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. Before he could respond, she pulled back. "I was prepared to have sex with you tonight, but after therapy I've changed my mind," Olivia said.

Fitz raised his eyebrows. "Is that so? Well, I need the name and credentials of this therapist as I need to put him out of business."

They shared a brief chuckle.

"I like this game," she said, "Tell me something else and it doesn't have to be about sex."

"I've thought about running for President of the United States," he said.

"Really? Well, it would probably be best if we are never seen together in public. You don't want to have to answer questions about me," she said.

"Your turn," he said.

She sighed. "Hmm…I'm an organ donor," she said.

"Well, that is admirable. I think I am as well, but I haven't renewed my own driver's license in years so I'll have to check," he said.

"Does that mean I have to go again?" she asked.

He nodded.

Olivia took a moment before answering. "I've never used one of Euphoria's products," she said.

He frowned. "I want to ask you why, but I am confident you won't tell me. But this is not good. Won't your clients lose faith in your products if they know you haven't tried them. How can you peddle them if you haven't tried them?" he asked.

Olivia rose to her feet and said, "Do you think you are ready for dessert now?" She didn't answer his question and he didn't push it.

"I've eaten too much already, Olivia. Let me help you clean up before I have another glass of wine," he said.

They cleaned and chatted working as a team to load the dishwasher and clear the dining room table. Olivia prepared the remaining food for Fitz to take home.

The night was different for both of them. Olivia wasn't overwhelmed by her attraction. Fitz didn't feel compelled to share obscure pieces of information, a nervous habit he developed as a teenager.

Neither wanted the night to end and it was evident in their final kiss. When they pulled back, Olivia rubbed smudged lipstick from the corner of his mouth.

"You need to fix that before you get home," she said.

When he peppered kisses at various places on her face, she chuckled and pulled out of his arms until he pulled her back.

"I've had the best time these last two nights," he said, "Will I ever be able to have dinner without you again?"

"You'll manage, Fitz."

Sitting at her desk the following day, Olivia laughed out loud at the familiar box velvet box. When the courier had delivered the package, she guessed it was from Fitz. It didn't take long to discover that the package was from Euphoria. He'd bought her the most expensive, premium vibrator in the product line, The Calla Lily, along with all the different attachments. The card didn't include her name, thankfully, but the message read:

Please use this. When you are done, call me and share the details.

You know who...

She placed the box in her bag and returned to reading reports.