Hello everyone! I'm so so sorry that I haven't updated in the forever.. Life got crazy and I didn't get a chance to write anything. And I'm really really sorry... But all that aside, I'll be trying to consistently post a chapter every Saturday. I struggled to write this chapter, but I'm happy with how it ended up being.
Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter!And I wanna send a huge thank you to all of you who have reviewed, followed, favourited or just read this story!
The stench from the troll cave was a mixture of unearthly horror. Lostoriel scrunched her nose and tried not to gag, she had placed herself as far as she could from the hoard after being offered a chance to go into the cave by Gandalf. She had thoroughly refused for the sake of her nose.
She had seated herself on a large rock to the far side of the clearing, far enough from the Company for a sense of privacy, but close enough for them to help in case of an emergency. Lostoriel had sat, crossed legged with lines creasing her forehead and with one lip pulled beneath the other as she mulled over the conversation she had overheard.
As they had ridden to the cave she could not turn her eyes toward Thorin or Gandalf. The fact that they knew more about her than she did had set her teeth grinding. She began to pick out the brambles and leaves that had gotten stuck in her dirty blonde hair.
Whatever trust she'd created with Gandalf was quickly depleting. As for Thorin, she didn't yet know what to make of him. Dead. What did he mean by dead? As far as she knew she was perfectly alive. She had glared at the back of his head as if that could allow her to read his mind. Much to her disappointment it didn't work, but did succeed in making him feel mildly uncomfortable as he kept shifting in his seat.
Lostoriel was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard or noticed a Dwarf coming towards her "Here, let me help Lass." It was Bofur, yes that had managed to creep up on her.
He met her cool eyes with a warm smile that made his skin crinkle at the corners of his eyes and mouth. His ears seemed to lift with the pure joy that oozed from him when he was happy. Bofur had been one of the few Dwarves to try and acquaint themselves with Lostoriel. The blond haired Elf had looked frustrated and lost on the ride to the troll cave, he had successfully gotten her to laugh at at least one of his jokes and to eat a piece of left over bread from the previous nights' supper.
She seemed like a lovely girl, from the small conversation they'd had, Thorin didn't seem happy about her being with them, but then again he was rarely happy about many things. But Bofur wasn't going to let that stop him from being a friend until she left them at whatever point.
He was beginning to feel uncomfortable under her scrutinising stare, Bofur coughed softly trying to regain her attention. "Lass?" Lostoriel's head jerked up, "I'm sorry Bofur, and I'm a little distracted at the moment. Your help is welcome, I suspect that I may lose a few fingers because of these ridiculous knots." She finished with an apologetic smile.
"No need to apologise lass, my ears are here for listening if you'd like to talk." he said gently picking up a large bunch of her hair and began to brush out her hair with his fingers. Lostoriel surprisingly didn't feel uncomfortable, she'd gathered that he was a gentle soul who, besides Bilbo, had tried to befriend her because they wanted to, not because they needed to.
"Thank you Bofur. I just don't understand what I'm doing here. Or how everyone seems to know me when I don't even know who I am. I'm not even sure how I got here in the first place. And the only person who seems to know everything about me is being annoyingly cryptic." She thought it would be better for everyone if she left out the part about Thorin knowing who she is too.
Bofur paused braiding her hair, giving her a sympathetic smile, "Fair enough that you'd be asking all that, I would too. You'll find your answers soon enough, I unfortunately have no power in persuading Gandalf," he nodded towards the wizard who had emerged from the troll hoard along with Thorin and a few others, "to come clean. It almost never works."
"What almost never works?" piped up Kili, I think that's his name, as he swaggered over to them, throwing and catching a small, smooth, black stone.
Bofur quickly tied off Lostoriel's braid and covered her ears with his large hands, "Killing trolls by smashing off their jambags!" he laughed.
Lostoriel's face drooped, his hands covering her ears did nothing to prevent her hearing. "You know," she pried his hands away from head, with a look of annoyance, "One, I'd rather not tell you my solution to that problem. And two, covering my ears does nothing to my hearing."
Bofur and Kili gave each other a horrified look, "You weren't supposed to her that."
Lostoriel smirked feeling proud of herself, "Why? Because I'm a lady?"
Their looks of horror only increased with Kili's pupils nearly becoming as wide as a saucer when a ginormous something began to crash through the under bush. It sounded like a sled to her,
"Something's coming!" shouted Thorin, as he stated the obvious. Lostoriel rolled her eyes at him, she wasn't sure why she felt such a sudden irritation towards the Dwarf.
"Stay together! Hurry now. Arm yourselves." Came Gandalf's cry, the sharp scrap of metal being scraped against metal echoed across the clearing along with the creaking of Kili's bow as the Dwarves pulled out their swords and axes. Lostoriel whipped out her dagger and crouched, the stance came to her naturally. Kili made to move in front of her, but she hastily stood and walked a few paces in front of him.
"I don't need you to protect me!" She growled. Lostoriel felt that she could defend herself against whatever it was, she may have not remembered who she was, but her instincts had never felt stronger.
Kili gave her an apologetic look, but his eyes were still hard set in determination. He didn't understand why she coldly rejected his help.
"Thieves! Fire! Murder!" came the cry as a group of tethered rabbits burst out from the shrubbery, followed by a robed man on a wooden sled.
The stunned silence was palpable, none of the Dwarves made a move until Gandalf addressed the man as, "Radagast! Radagast the Brown. What on earth are you doing here?" A collective breath of relief spread across the clearing as they lowered their weapons. He was a friend of Gandalf's, a strange one at that as he pulled off his filthy brown hat to reveal a small bird's nest made out of his thick, blonde hair. It was then that Lostoriel, with disgust, noticed the trial of bird poo that fell from his hair to his chin. Whatever was left in her empty stomach threatened to come up.
His wide blue eyes wildly took in the clearing as if he was looking for something, "I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong." He burst out, before taking a moment to muse on another thought, "But then again, something is terribly right!"
Radagast whistled a four note tune and a minute later two birds, one blue, one black came fluttering into the clearing, briefly passing over Lostoriel's head with a gust of wind and settling into the nest in the wizard's hair. He scrunched up his nose in thought before pursing his lips. "Just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue."
She froze staring at the birds, who cocked their heads to the side as they looked back at her. As if to say, yes it's us again. How on earth? The confusion that had begun to fade came back with full force as she stared at the pair of birds that had saved her.
Gandalf gave Radagast another moment to gather his thoughts before Radagast, much to the frustration of the Dwarves, discovered he had a stick insect on his tongue.
"Right then, what has gone right my dear friend?" asked Gandalf from beneath his bushy eyebrows.
Radagast put his pointy hat back on, "Oh yes! The Daughter of the Wood has returned. The wood here is rejoicing, the birds are watching. A shadow in the rain, is what they called her. I had not thought she would ever return. She-"
Gandalf looked to Lostoriel, catching her eye and moving his eyes back to Radagast. She caught the message, her stomach somersaulted, she had wanted answers but had not expected them so soon.
"I was entrusted to give you this upon your return, should I have found you." Radagast rummaged through his robes in an attempt to find the object he was looking for.
"It's somewhere...In-" he pulled back a layer of clothing launching a small hedgehog into the air with a small , "It's not Sebastian!" laughed Radagast.
The Elf caught the tiny creature with ease, it nestled gently against her chest. "Hello there little friend."
The hedgehog seemed to smile, his marbled brown, white and creme coat and bristles shivered with excitement. He rolled over onto his back, allowing her to tickle his furry stomach.
Gandalf watched with contentment as Lostoriel befriended the creature, he then gazed back to his old friend who was still trying to find his entrusted object. Radagast. You have not changed my old fellow.
"Ah hah! Here it is!" Radagast's hand shot into the air, a silver chain was snaked between his fingers and glinted in the sunlight. The wizards cool eyes were wild , darting here and there, seeming to peep into every corner of the clearing. He was lost in thought until Gandalf coughed and brought him back into reality. He's afraid.
"Forgive me my Lady , something dark and full of malice has begun to grow in the East, it has had me in quite the panic. But that story is for later. "
He stretched out his hand, in his wrinkled palm was a leaf pendant, strung upon a dainty gold chain. The leaf itself was rather small, it was emerald green with golden veins and a gold backing. Lostoriel's eyes widened, she set Sebastian on the ground, who scurried away to hide in the folds of Radagast's robes.
"It is yours. Your father gave this to me in the year you disappeared. Him and I and many others searched for you all around the Mountain searched the rivers, the canyons and the depths of the forest where the darkness was growing.
We could not find you. When we returned to the Woods he travelled to my cottage to hand me this and asked me to give you this message." he paused , drawing in a long breath.
Lostoriel wished that he would continue, his pause felt like an eternity. Her muscles stretched and twisted beneath her skin in anticipation of what he was to say next. qHer father... she did not remember him well. Lean, tall, she remembered that he felt like sunshine on a winter's day and like the gentle lapping of the water against the shore.
"If you are lost, whisper to the trees. Sing to the stars and they will lead you home. I will never stop searching for you. I will rip down the very doors of Mandos's halls to bring you back. You are my everything little one. I love you, your brother loved you. And we need you."
The ground rippled beneath her feet, her head swam as a wave of nausea came over her. Lostoriel sank to the ground needing to calm herself down. This was .. she didn't know what it was. Radagast knelt in front of her, gently moving her hands from her face and curling them in his.
"My dear, I know you have been gone for a long time now. Over a hundred years in fact.. But your Ada is waiting for you. They have been waiting a long, long time. It is time to find them, time to know who you are again. " His heart went out to her, but he knew that her return was no coincidence with what darkness was brewing.
My Ada... A hundred years..I've been gone for more than a hundred years!? Wha- How is that possible? How did I leave?
Her head felt as if it was going to explode with the enormous amount of questions that pushed against her skull to be answered.
Gandalf and Radagast shared a look of worry as Lostoriel gripped her hair and breathed shallowly.
"My dear, Radagast did not tell you this to overwhelm you." Gandalf laid a hand on Radagast's shoulder gesturing that they should give her space.
Lostoriel's mind was racing. Starlight.. Starlight.. Home, songs, the trees, the voices.. Home...In her memory she was beneath a canopy of trees, the sunlight flickered between the branches and somewhere to her left a stream babbled happily.
In her hands was a bow , an arrow rested between her fore and middle fingers. She saw the target board clearly, three arrows pierced the inner three rings. Someone stood to "Concentrate, clear your mind. Okay, now notch your arrow and slowly draw your string back. " His voice was deep like thunder and smooth like custard. He felt like summer, like the voices of the trees that had once sang to her.
Lostoriel followed his instructions, she felt discouraged, she felt as if she could not do it.
"Deep breath in and hold. Now breathe out and fire!" She caught a glimpse of bright hair, of broad shoulders as she released the arrow. Lostoriel felt happiness engulf her body, her hands shot up into the air as she celebrated the shaft hitting bull's eye.
She turned to the someone standing beside her.His slender face was becoming clearer in her memory.
Lostoriel shook herself out of her past. She sprung up, tear-stained, feeling everything all at once. "Thank you Radagast, but I don't think I can do this..." Lostoriel let the necklace that Radagast had snuck into her hands fall back into the wizard's hands. She turned and briskly walked off to the edge of the clearing.
Hope you enjoyed all the angst!