Chapter 12

Sixteen years ago

Olivia pumped her legs as hard as she could while pounding her arms into the water. Her neck swiveled from side to side in perfect synchronicity, granting her access to the needed gulp of air just as Coach Davidson had taught her. The screams of the spectators were muffled, but she could picture her family, coach, and teammates screaming her name.

"Go Carrie Go! You can do! Come on! Baby!"

Olivia finally reached the wall filled with the anticipation of victory. Usually she could tell if she'd won, could feel it. She didn't know for sure until she reached the wall, ripped off her goggles, and peered at the leader board.

Her heart sank when she saw O. Pope beaming beside the number 2. She wiped the beads of water from her eyes, hoping she had read it wrong. She had not. The only consolation she found was knowing her father wasn't there to see her failure. He was at work today.

She took a deep breath dunked in the water as if to wash off the disappointment. When she broke the surface, she searched out the winner to congratulate him.

"Mom, I'm not hungry. I ate at the after meet social," Olivia said with a sigh resting her head on her hand and gazing at her overly chipper mother. She couldn't understand the source of her mother's excitement. She'd come in second place when first place was the only option.

Maya smiled at her daughter, cupping her jaw, and nudging her up. "Honey, sit up straight. I know you wanted first place but think about it. At 13, you are competing with college students, the very best. That is why we are here. I have a surprise for you," she said.

Before Olivia could respond, a man approached their table. He seemed just as excited as Maya, brandishing a wide smile.

"Carrie, I'd like you to meet Mr. Ronald Levine, your new swim coach," Maya said.

Her mother's words snapped her out of the funk of second place to a state of confused surprise. She frowned.

"New coach? But what…" Why do I —" Olivia said.

"It's great to meet you, Olivia. I know this is a shock," Ronald said as he joined them at their table, "but you are an amazing athlete who needs to go to the next level. With all due respect to Coach Davidson, you've outgrown him and his team. Today you came in second place to a 19 year-old who will probably be competing in the national championships next year. That should be you. With your remarkable talent, I can take you all the way to the Olympics.

Olivia's eyes widened. She looked from Ronald's face to her mom's. "Really? But…what does Daddy say? Does he know, Mom?"

Maya reached across the table and covered Olivia's hand. "You let me worry about your father."

Olivia pressed her ear closer to the wall. She felt guilty for eavesdropping on her parents.

"We don't know anything about this guy Maya. He doesn't have a team. Olivia doesn't need a personal coach. She was doing well on a team with Coach Davidson. When the time is right she will qualify for a national team," Eli said.

"I checked him out and his references. He is legit. He was an allstar and qualified for the Olympic team. I was thinking he could personally coach Olivia for two years. Her success would help him build a team. It's a win-win," Maya said, "and we won't have to pay as much for the lessons."

"The money is no problem, but if you think it is best. I'll go along. We can give this personal swim coach a try, but we can't push her too much, Maya," said Eli with a sigh.

"Thanks honey. We've never had to push Carrie," said Maya, "she pushes herself. She wants this.

Current Day

"So, Olivia have you and Fitzgerald set a date for you to meet his children?" asked Dr. Chase.

"Yes. It is actually set for tomorrow morning, breakfast in public," she said, flipping through a magazine she had been reading as she waited in the lobby for her session. She hadn't been able to resist the article about the teenage brain. She thought it might be helpful preparation for sharing a meal with teenagers.

"What do you think you will talk about? Have you thought about what you'll ask them or what they might ask you?" Dr. Chase inquired.

Olivia gave him a thoughtful glance. "Not really. I haven't really thought about preparing for it," she said.

"Oh, so you are reading about the teenage brain out of simple curiosity?" said Dr. Chase.

Olivia placed the magazine on the table and gave him a small smile. "It can't be too difficult to talk to them," she said, "Teenagers are self-centered right? I'll

pepper them with questions about their lives. I doubt they will ask much about me."

Mr. Chase jotted down notes and then considered her thoughtfully. "What if they ask you about your job? What if talking about them causes you to think about yourself at their age? It could be a trigger. You aren't around teenagers much so—"

Olivia rose to her feet and walked the floor to ceiling window, peering out. "I'm not worried about that. I plan to tell them I sell spa and lifestyle products," she reasoned before turning back to Dr. Chase, "I know it's your job to help me anticipate triggers, Dr. Chase, but it's not necessary."

There was a long silence before Dr. Chase spoke. Olivia moved back to the sofa. "Okay, then. Let's talk about your parents."

Olivia couldn't contain the laugh that escaped her lips. The sound was jarring, nothing like real laughter. "My parents?" she said, her brows knitting together, when sarcastic laughter didn't work on Dr. Chase.

"Yes, your parents. We haven't talked about them since you've been coming regularly. When was the last time you saw them?" he asked.

"This is a not a topic for discussion unless I say so. That is our rule remember," Olivia said, tightly.

"I'm changing the rules. When was the last time you spoke with Maya or Elijah Pope," Dr. Chase said.

Olivia's eyes narrowed at his use of their names. Anger was beginning to bubble within her. "I know what you are trying to do and it is not fair, Dr. Chase. Stop trying to bait me into some emotional response about them," she said.

"I'm not trying to bait you," he said.

"What are you trying to do? You know I don't talk about my parents," she said.

Dr. Chase placed his notepad on the nearby table. "Why don't you want to talk about you mother and father. I don't recall you telling me they were off limits during these re recent sessions," he said.

"My mom called me recently. She wanted me to call her back. I didn't and don't plan to. So please understand. They are off the table. You know why," she said.

"Yes, but I want you to say it out loud," he said.

"With the utmost respect Dr. Chase, everything is not an issue that needs to be picked over," she said, "I'll see you next time.

Olivia kept hearing Dr. Chase, 'I want you to say it out loud.' She knew he was trying to help her, but she couldn't say it: My mother didn't believe me. The thought made her shiver. She closed the file she'd been trying to read and dialed Fitz.

"How do you do that?" Fitz said, a note of awe in his voice.

"Do what?" she said. Hearing his voice was an instant boost out of the vortex.

"You call me when I think about you," he answered.

"Hmm. You must not think about me much. This is the first time I'm calling you today," she said, "but don't think of a snappy comeback. How are you?"

"I'm happy that my girlfriend called. You've made my Friday. I'll be even happier to see you this evening," he said.

Olivia grinned. She was just as happy to see him later as well, but now she wanted to talk to him about her therapy session. Unfortunately, she couldn't. Her chest tightened.

"Guess what Karen did?" Fitz said.

"I have no clue," Olivia said.

"She—and these are her words— sort of told my mother we were all going to breakfast. This is an indication that my family will want to meet you soon," he said, "but I'll hold them off for as long as you need."

Olivia could hear it in his voice, the protection, the care, the deference. Even though he had no idea of her past he could sense that she was broken somehow, scarred and in need of protection. Olivia, was both attracted to and resistant to his protection. Part of her wanted to tell him everything. Would he be repulsed that she didn't fight back? Would he be skeptical, have doubt when he knew the whole story?

How could he not be skeptical when her own mother had been? But she had made the mistake of not telling her parents the first time her coach touched her. She was 13 and old enough to know what he was doing was wrong. She had endured through those eye roll inducing good touch, bad touch classes at school. After awhile she didn't notice it, ignored it until he…

Carrie, we love each other. We must be together. You just qualified for the national team. Our hard work has paid off. But this is more than just swimming. This is love. I know you told Maya about us. She didn't do anything because she knows we are meant to be together. It's been more than a year you are almost 15…

"Olivia, what's wrong? Are you crying?" Fitz asked.

She didn't know where she was, who she was until she heard his voice. She inhaled deeply but her breath choked on the exhale. Where had she gone? Why was she crying? She knew the answers to these questions, but didn't want to acknowledge the answers.

I'm not losing control, she thought.

"I might be developing a bug...a cold. I've been sneezing and sniffling all morning. I'm working long hours and following you around to fundraisers and campaign events. A body can only take so much," she said. She grabbed a tissue and dabbed the tears from her eyes.

"That didn't sound like sneezing, Liv. I can clear my schedule for the rest of the day. Election day is in 4 days and we have prepared well. Can you meet me at the condo?" he asked.

"Exactly. Election day is in 4 days. You have to finish strong. Isn't that what they say? I'm fine, Fitz. I'll see you tonight. I have to go. Someone is knocking on my door. Bye," she said, hanging up before he could respond.

Olivia loosened the bow of her blouse and stepped out of her heels. She sank to the floor and prostrated her body on the floor. The smell of chlorine assaulted her senses. Squeezing her eyes shut she willed it away, realizing it was just a figment of her memory. The smell disappeared, but it was replaced by Ronald Levine's face. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, fighting to will his face away. She thought about Dr. Chase and was filled with anger. This was his fault. He was the one who planted this in her head. Olivia wanted to march into his office and demand a session. Unfortunately, she didn't have the time to do that. She needed something, a distraction.

In five minutes she was put back together and sitting at her desk, reading the file on David Oshiro, Harrison had prepared. She dialed his number.

"Hello," he said.

"David! Olivia Pope. How are you?" she said. Her voice was vibrant and booming.

There was a pause before he answered. She knew he was trying to figure out why she was calling him and how she got his cell phone number.

"Ms. Pope, hello," he said, partly hesitant, partly curious.

"You're probably wondering why I'm calling. I won't keep you in suspense. You've probably heard about my recent expansion," she said, pausing for his acknowledgement.

"Yes, of course. SpaBliss," he acknowledged.

"And you know I have one of Lotus' own working for me, Abiba Mashalaba. Do you know her," Olivia said, feigning ignorance.

"Yes. I know her…um…yes. We worked in different departments, but I knew her…of her," David said.

"Well, she is great. One of the best decisions I've made since opening SpaBliss. I'm going to do everything I can to keep her, but I imagine being a working mother will be challenging. Now for the reason I called you. I'd—"

"Working mother? What do you mean?" David said.

Olivia grinned. Relishing this feeling. "Oops! I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I'm so happy for her. She's expecting a baby. A couple of months, I think. But as to the reason I contacting you. I want to offer you a job," she said.

Silence. Olivia knew he was reacting to the pregnancy news and not her job offer. In a single phone call she'd changed two lives. Abiba needed to reckon with the real reason she left Lotus. Olivia knew that for certain.

"Ms. Pope, I am interested in hearing more about your job offer, but I really have to go. Something just came across my desk that I have to attend to. Can I call you tomorrow? I'm so sorry, but I really—"

"Oh it is no problem. I completely understand. I'll call you back on Monday," she said before disconnecting the line.

Olivia now had a second wind to get some work done.

He wasn't going to stop searching. Olivia could see it in his eyes as he watched her spoon up the chicken soup. When he had arrived at her house with chicken soup and tea, she was reminded of her lie from earlier that day. He probably didn't really believe she was coming down with a cold, but he brought brought the goodies all the same.

"Thanks for the soup. I feel better already, Fitz," she said with a smile.

"Are you up for having breakfast in the morning. We could reschedule it. I need you well for election day. I need all the voters I can get," he said with a smirk.

Olivia sighed. He was trying to protect her again. She was angry with herself and the weakness she obviously projected. "No, I'm fine. You are going to win, Governor Grant, and then I will rarely see you, I suspect. I'll have to make an appointment with Ms. Hanley for the occasional dinner," she said.

Fitz reached across the table and grabbed her hand. He examined it, inside and out before enveloping it in his. He sighed. "Come here," he said.

Olivia put her spoon beside the bowl and pushed it away. She walked around the table and sat on his lap. He hugged her and kissed her gently on the lips.

He pulled back and looked at her. She smiled at him, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his arms. The events of earlier today were far away from her now. "I love you, Olivia. In case you didn't already know that. I need to say it. I know there is something…something between us…something you are afraid of telling me. I don't know what it is. I'm not going to rush you. Whatever it is, I don't care," he said.

"Fitz, there is nothing between us, no big secret I am keeping. I am a business woman who makes calculations to advance those interests. I'll share this with you. I did go to college despite what I said in the Vanity Fair article and I did work on a small political campaign after I graduated. I don't believe in marriage, and I don't want to have children. I enjoy spending time with you, Fitz. I like you. I respect you. I am attracted to you, but I know our relationship in this form will not last. You are going to want more than I can give you. Then you will resent me. I won't have that. Just because I am different doesn't mean I'm keeping something from you," she said.

What looked like anger flashed across his face for a brief moment, before he turned away. Olivia knew he didn't want to accept her words, but she was surprised by his chuckle.

He turned back to face her with a surprising smile on his face. "So, please enlighten me. What form will our relationship finally take? I want to plan ahead. Oh and thank you for protecting me from my inevitable resentment," he said.

Olivia ignored the sarcasm he didn't try to hide. She fingered the hair resting on his collar. "Confidantes, friends, who meet for the occasional dinner or coffee, provided your significant other will tolerate you meeting with me. Given my line of work, I predict she will have a problem with you seeing me. She will be convinced you won't resist me if I try to seduce you or steal you away."

This brought more chuckles from him. "Wow, you have given our future a lot of thought. I haven't thought much about our future, Olivia. All I know is that I love you and plan to show up every day for us. I am not going anywhere. You may think you know what I want, but here it from the horse's mouth: I want you, today. We are in this together. I don't have some grand 30, 60, 90 day plan for us. I'm taking it one day at a time."

He kissed her and pulled back before she was ready for him to stop. "I have to go," Liv.

She nodded in lieu of speaking. Her voice would break if she spoke right now. She stood and took a sip of her tepid tea. "Okay. I'll see you in the morning at the café," she said.

"Yes," he said, "We will see you there."

"Marty, I can't believe you did it. You got me out," said Ronald. The cold black phone never felt so good.

"Well it was a long shot that paid off. When you are released you have to promise me you will get on the first plane to get as far away from her as possible. Elijah Pope has to know you are getting out. He's going to try everything he can to stop it. He'll leave you alone if you disappear. Promise me you will disappear," Martin demanded.

Ronald read between the lines. Martin wanted him to promise to stay away from Olivia. Why would he even think about trying to find her? Wasn't she the reason he had been locked up, rotting in jail for the last 15 years. He went in jail as a 30 year old man and was now leaving as a 45 year old nobody. The only consolation was that he didn't have the stain of a being a sexual offender on his record. Eli Pope wasn't able to put him behind bars for anything but tax evasion.

He wasn't the monster Elijah Pope made him out to be. Had it not been for him, maybe he and Carrie would be together, married with kids and Olympic medals to show for it. He was happy to finally have his freedom thanks to that governor's commutation. But before he disappeared, he had to see her one last time to see if she was okay. First he had to get out of here and find out where she was living.

It wasn't so bad. Olivia was laughing at a story Gerry was telling about the time Fitz bombed at career day.

"To make matters worse, he tried to rap in one last ditch effort to redeem himself. He was actually booed!" said Gerry.

"And it took two months before people stopped talking about it," said Karen.

Olivia glanced at Fitz who was taking it all in stride.

"I wish you all had it on video. I would love to see that," Olivia said.

"Okay, Okay…enough about that," said Fitz, "What can I say, I don't know how to bow out gracefully."

They shared another laugh and a quiet settled over the table. Olivia ticked through a number of topics she could bring up so she could control the conversation.

"So…how did you and dad meet," Karen asked before Olivia could speak.

Olivia looked at Fitz. "Your father didn't tell you?" she asked.

"Well he did, but I'm sure there's more to it. He said you were lobbying for your business and had a meeting with him," Karen explained.

Olivia took a sip of coffee and crossed her arms across her chest. "Yes, that's about right. We were in conflict because he didn't want to support my cause. He eventually came around," she said.

"That sounds like Dad.. eventually coming around," said Gerry.

"Well we hate to eat and run, but we have a swim meet this evening. Our coach called an early practice. We will see you later dad. Nice meeting you, Olivia. You are welcome to come if you want," said Karen.

Olivia's stomach turned but she plastered a smile on her face to make it through the goodbyes. They watched as the black SUV whisked them away.

Olivia tried to control the shake in her voice. "So how long have they been swimming?" she said.

"Since elementary school. Seems like forever. They love it, though." said Fitz.

Olivia didn't know what to say, but she was convinced that some unseen force was trying to destroy her. No matter what she did, her past wouldn't leave her be.

/

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