Disclaimer: The vampire diaries and twilight belong to L.J Smith and Stephanie Meyer respectively. If they were mine… well the littler said, the better

Warning: may contain spanking in later chapters

Okay I am probably suffering from high fever or something because I've never written a chapter as fast as I have written this. And I know it's horrible but my sister tried to cook for me when my mom was away once, and yeah, I barfed. So I thought why not Stefan. Anyway, enjoy.

For his little stunt, Stefan was on bed rest for three days, and Esme wouldn't even let him get a cup of coffee. His complaints fell on deaf ears as she scolded him again for giving her such a scare and mothered him to death. It was something Stefan was not familiar with given his own mother dying at such a young age. The only other person who has shown him affection was his brother Damon, and now to have a whole family doting on him was a different but welcome feeling. Carlisle had taken a couple of days off to look after him, checking his temperature every now and then. The Cullen kids helped a lot too, keeping him company during his bed arrest. They watched movie marathons on his laptop, argued about the similarities between him and Edward-ok, that was Emmett and Jasper- and made him into a live mannequin, mostly Alice and Rosalie. They also loved to watch him sleep, and as much as Stefan wanted to pronounce himself okay after the first day, he was still a little unwell and was sleeping rather frequently. Damon had needed almost a day to fully get rid of the effects of the werewolf bite and Stefan knew in his mind that he needed more, much more. So after the first day of complaining, he welcomed the Cullens ministrations.

And then there was Edward. The budding friendship between Stefan and the youngest Cullen was a welcome surprise to everyone. They wanted both boys to be somewhat amicable and stop tearing at each others throats. They even hoped they'd be friends one day but no one anticipated they would be like twins in such a short time, especially after their very rocky start. Don't get them wrong, they were happy beyond relief but everybody dreaded the sure trouble they just knew would start brewing as soon as Stefan got the all clear to leave that bed. Like right now. Everyone's head jerked up at the sound of soft laughter ringing from Edward's room. Stefan's room was still being remodeled-Alice's terms- after the blood wouldn't come out of his carpet and he had to share with Edward until then.

"Huh. Looks like Stefan's awake" Rosalie mused. They had left when Stefan had fallen asleep, though Edward stayed.

Alice nodded. "Yes. Should we send him some food or something?"

"That won't be necessary. He can just come downstairs" Carlisle spoke

"Really? He's all better?" Rosalie asked. She was second to Esme in the mothering

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. Your mom's whipping up a quick breakfast before we leave. You'll have to order lunch though. We'll be back late"

"Dad! Mom's cooking? She'll ruin her clothes. You have to make an impression. Take her. We'll make Stefan breakfast. Won't we guys?" Alice said

Apprehension filled Carlisle's face as his sons put away the consoles with a look of anticipation. His boys hardly left their video games for anything. The next words out of Jasper's mouth did nothing to calm him.

"I think that'll be fun, papa. We'll all help. How hard can it be anyway? Besides if we don't you're gonna be late" he gave a knowing smile

Carlisle knew Jasper was right. They were already running late. If they didn't leave soon, they'd be caught in traffic. But he still felt the need to make an argument. "But you can't even cook. You know what, just order something for him. Or better still take him out to that diner close to your school. Yes that'll be good" he said, placing several bills on the table

Emmett swiped the money and pocketed it before looking at his father. "Pops, we got this. Go show those stuck up doctors our hot mom. Preferably without syrup or ketchup all over her pretty dress. The Cullen chefs will give Stefan a meal he wouldn't forget"

"Go on" Rosalie made shooing motions. "Have fun"

"O...kay" Carlisle said unconvincingly. "Esme honey, we should get going"

"A few minutes honey. Just a few more minutes" Esme called from the kitchen, a split second before Jasper dragged her out. "Jazz, what are you doing? I have to..."

"You have to nothing mom" Alice said while draping a coat over her mother's shoulders. "We got this. Have fun" she said, pushing them out the door

Esme's confused voice rang out. "Carlisle what's going on?"

"I'll explain in the car darling. But we really should get going" Carlisle coaxed

"O-Ok. Uhm, you take care of your brother and Stefan okay. We'll be back before you know it. Bye". And then they were gone.

Immediately there was a bustle of activity in the living room.

"What're we making?"

"Pancakes"

"Waffles"

"Rolls"

"Spaghetti"

"Emmett, get the cookbook"

"We don't have one"

"Well download one"

"Oh right, so what else do we need?"

"Emmett, Jasper get out of the way! We're trying to cook"

"Well so are we Rose. What, did you think we were trying to have a dance with the pots and pans?"

"What's going on here?"

"Edward! You aren't supposed to be here. Go back up. We're making Stefan breakfast. If anything happened to you, mom would kill us so go on, shoo, back upstairs. We'll call you when we're ready" Alice personally escorted him back to the stairs, and waited until she was sure the confused boy was gone before turning back to the kitchen just in time to hear Jasper and Rosalie start to argue about flour.

Edward plopped down beside Stefan on the bed and immediately started laughing at the look of horror on his face. "I don't envy you Stefan"

Stefan stared in apprehension at the food before him. It was supposed to be breakfast, supposed being the key word because what lay before Stefan was nothing short of a feast. He smiled shakily at the smiling Cullens before him and bit back the urge to laugh. They were a sight. Covered in flour from head to toe, even Alice who always looked impeccable had what looked suspiciously like ketchup splayed over her, Rosalie had some butter smeared across her face and Jasper and Emmett, well the little said the better. From the syrup in their hair to the eggshells stuck in various body parts, it was indeed better not to talk about the appearance of Jasper and Emmett. Edward though burst out laughing immediately he saw his siblings before whipping out his phone.

"This is too rich. I'm taking pictures"

"Thanks, guys. I don't think I can eat all this but thank you anyway" Stefan spoke quickly, partly to save Edward from whatever fate the glare Emmett was throwing at him promised.

"So, what do you think? Do you like it? We didn't know what you may have wanted so we prepared different kinds" Alice said

"You could have just asked him" Edward said in a not-so-polite voice

His siblings ignored him, still looking at Stefan. "Well, what are you waiting for? Sit. Dig in"

After another shaky smile that looked more like a grimace than anything, Stefan lowered himself into the chair. He put three pancakes in his plate, figuring they would be the least difficult to eat if they were not cooked right, and poured syrup over them, all the while very much aware of the Cullens gaze on him. He saw Rosalie place a cup of blood in front of Edward from the corner of his eye and heard him whine about not being hungry and Rosalie's forceful reply about how 'You'll drink it and you'll like it or so help me...'. All this while he tried to delay eating the pancakes as much as possible. Finally, when he couldn't delay any longer, he took a tentative bite. If he thought not much could go wrong with pancakes he was proved sorely wrong.

He didn't even know where to begin listing all the things wrong with the pancakes. Whether it was because someone had replaced sugar with salt or the pancakes had been left to cook too long or the other five million things that was basically wrong with the one bite he had taken. Not wanting to disappoint them after all the effort they put in, Stefan swallowed before cautiously pushing the plate away, silently thanking God that he was a vampire and he couldn't get stomach upset from a disastrous meal. He could feel Edward vibrating with laughter, trying to hide a smile behind the mug as he fetched some spaghetti onto his plate. To be on the safer side he added some rolls so if one was bad he could try the other. Even less enthusiastically, he picked up his fork and took a mouthful of the spaghetti. It took a second for the taste to hit the back of his throat, and he resisted the urge to throw up right there. Stefan was very much aware of the gazes on him as he reached for the rolls this time around. After another tentative bite he decided enough was enough and pushed the plate away while mustering the courage to make eye contact with the Cullens. Finally, when he couldn't bear the horrible taste in his mouth anymore, he spoke.

"I uhm...ahem...really appreciate the effort guys but uhh..."

"Pizza?" Edward asked around his mug

Stefan nodded his head vigorously. "That'd be great" he managed to force out before blurring out if the room. A second later, sounds of someone throwing up could be heard.

When Stefan came back downstairs, Jasper was taking away the last of the dishes. A wave of guilt washed over Stefan and he bowed his head. "I'm sorry" he said

"What are you apologizing for? Our bad cooking? Stefan, this is not you fault" Rosalie said, approaching Stefan from the kitchen

Emmett joined Jasper at the table and both grinned up at Stefan. "So on a scale of one to ten, how bad was the food?"

Stefan smiled back. "Negative fifty"

Emmett gave an exaggerated gasp. "We couldn't have been that bad. You're just being ungrateful"

"Emmett, I threw up" Stefan stated

"You have a weak stomach" he countered

Stefan would have probably said something more but Alice interrupted as she bounded into the room. "Ok, so breakfast didn't go according to plan. We'll just try harder at lunch"

Stefan paled and Edward dropped into the couch in gales of laughter.

Esme and Carlisle were beyond shocked when they opened the door and Stefan flew into their arms. They shared a confused look.

"Uh. Ok. Good to see you too Stefan"

"I'm so glad you're back, uncle Carlisle" Stefan mumbled into his shoulder

Carlisle's eyebrow flew into his hairline. Stefan had never addressed him that way before. True, the cover story was that he was the cousin of the Cullen kids, and Carlisle guessed that would make him his uncle biologically but none of them have thought about it like that before. And it did feel good to be addressed that way too, even if he was sure Stefan didn't know he was doing it.

"Stefan, honey, is everything ok? Do you feel sick again?" Esme asked worriedly, while feeling his forehead for signs of a fever.

Stefan shook his head as he lifted it from where he had it draped over Carlisle's shoulder. "No, I'm just glad to see you. Welcome back" he smiled at them

Carlisle and Esme looked at him apprehensively. Years of dealing with Edward and four other teens told them that was not the whole story. "Uh huh, of course you are. What happened? And where are the others?"

Just then Edward came down. "Hey mom. Hey dad" he greeted, kissing Esme's cheek. He laughed when he saw Stefan practically hiding behind his father while simultaneously trying to look through the window. After a questioning look from his parents, however, he spilled. "They cooked him breakfast. It was so horrible he puked. And then they decided they needed some practice so they made lunch too. That didn't go so well either" at this point Carlisle and Esme could hardly hear Edward. He was laughing so hard at Stefan's apparent misery. When he finally got himself under control, he continued. "Now Alice and Rosalie are making pasta, and Emmett and Jazz are hunting cos we're a little low on blood. And that's why Stefan is…." He erupted into laughter again, much to Stefan's increasing chagrin

"It's not funny" Stefan snarled at Edward

Carlisle sighed and pinched his nose at Edward's narrative. Esme had disappeared into the kitchen when Edward mentioned that they were trying to make pasta. He could hear Rose and Alice arguing about salt and rosemary in the kitchen. Rosemary?

"I'm really not hungry. Can you just tell them to stop?" Stefan was all out pleading, puppy eyes in full effect

Edward laughed again. "But why? They've gone to all that trouble for you. You should at least eat some"

Esme came back from the kitchen almost immediately and grabbed the phone. Carlisle raised an eyebrow, amused. "Darling?"

"I don't know what they are doing but that is not pasta" she said vehemently. "No wonder he threw up. I'm ordering Chinese, and Alice and Rose my kitchen better be spotless before nine pm. I hope you like Chinese sweetie" she added as an afterthought to Stefan.

Stefan, for his part, plopped down onto the couch beside Edward, relief apparent on his face.

"Thank you"

Like I said, definitely not my best work but please help a sick me out and review.