As she walked along the sidewalk, Francis looked down and tried to ignore the heavy footsteps coming up behind her.
"Francis, please, don't do this." She felt a hand grasp her arm, and again felt the shock to her core. She could make a scene, but that wasn't her style, so she turned to face him.
He really was gorgeous. The years had been very good to Jonny. His hair was as thick as ever and behind the suit and tie she could see that he was still fit. He was keeping his face neutral, but she could still see the wisdom that experience had brought. There was softness too, like life was easier now and he could lose some of the wariness he used to wear like a mantle.
"Don't do what? I am just trying to walk home."
"Fine, I will walk you."
"No!"
"Francis, we need to talk. I can't let you walk away like this. Please, hear me out."
She couldn't let him in her home, she would be too exposed. That was her place and she wouldn't have anything of him there to haunt her.
"Coffee" she murmured. "We can get coffee."
Jonny's face lifted at that and he took her arm and led her to a little shop a block away. She followed mutely, cursing herself for a fool.
"Tell me about your life now," Jonny said as they sat down. "I told you so much about myself but I don't know anything about you."
"I did everything I planned to do," she said and went on to describe her term with the Peace Corps and how that helped to solidify her dream. She didn't talk about the loneliness that often plagued her, as she drifted through her life. Everyone thought she was so driven and accomplished, but she always felt like she was looking for something more, trying to find her place. She had thought she found it when she started dancing with Jonny, but he showed her that wasn't to be. She sometimes wondered if she would ever end her search. She didn't tell him that.
Instead, she told him about her family, her sister's new husband who was far too good for Lisa, her job, and spoke of her ex-boyfriend as if they were still together. It didn't matter that the relationship ended over a year ago and she had almost felt relieved when it finally happened. Life was good, she told him, hoping she didn't sound like she was trying to convince herself.
"I knew you were going places," he said with a smile. "You always could do anything. It felt impossible when I walked away that summer, but I couldn't live with holding you back. I doubt either of us would have made much of our lives if we had stayed together, two kids ruled by our hormones."
Francis felt like she had been struck. Worse than that, she was being ripped apart all over again. Unwittingly a tiny seed of hope had sprung up when he chased after her, and even as small and short-lived as it was, the loss was devastating. She needed to get out.
"Yes," she agreed, plastering a smile on her face. "I guess things turned out the way they were meant to be. I should really be going. James is taking me to dinner tonight and I don't want to be late."
"It was so nice to run into you again and catch up," she said quickly as she got up. The abrupt shift caught Jonny off guard and all he could manage was a mumbled farewell as she rushed out the door.