Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

IV.

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The morning was chilly and loomingly dark when he drowsily pulled the blinds over his bed and, with a sigh, bundled in his sheets once again. Between the headaches, the weird dreams, the heat waves and the sexual frustration he figured he'd probably have to find a way to fill his bathtub with ice and lie in it for at least half an hour to come to his senses again.

It was so much easier to convince himself he had all he ever wanted before. Now that he knew there was a loophole, his subconsciousness had become the catalyst of all the things he pent up and he feared it just piled up with every night he spent trying to throw away those obsessive thoughts.

It was like a heavy anchor that pulled him further and further down, and his mind seemingly tried to compensate with the images he saw during the few hours he was asleep. The hours when he wasn't were filled with tossing and turning, as well as a burning desire he couldn't quite discard or ignore.

Well, it wasn't like he hadn't been through worse, but it really started to bother him. His mind had gripped the life-belt on the surface of it all, the common sense that questioned his stupid reactions and sleeplessness. The rest of him wanted a change. The rest was keeping him awake and drowned him in doubt.

It was almost like a chorus of voices, pulling at him from all sides, with all sorts of endless remarks and questions that he didn't know how to stop. They were flowing through him until his head throbbed with an ache.

What did he really need? Was it the attention? The understanding? The warmth? (The pleasure?) The conflict was very much real, between the memory of her being twelve and the current reality of her being nearly thirty and breathtakingly beautiful. Each time his mind drifted off to wondering how she'd feel like, spasm of anxiety attacked him.

What did she need? What could he give? Nothing, really. What he had, he gave already. He had nothing left. What did she want him for? Didn't she have any other options? Was she truly delusional? Could be. She was prone to excessive emotional outbursts since she was little. And him? Did she even begin to know what he was like? Did she know what he's seen and where he's been? More… than a decade apart. There was some kind of insanity to the thought of the deep fondness she demonstrated for him and he was at a constant wonder. Why?

Kakashi got out of the bed and went straight to the bathroom, punishing himself with the icy water that poured from his shower. It was deeply unpleasant and he shuddered, but it distracted him from the headache and the need to touch himself. He didn't even know whether he was mentally ill for chasing pleasure as often or it was just because he was forty and his body was going teen-crazy all over again.

It was going to be another long, long day.

His steps echoed quietly in the vacant scenery, the graves lined up in a frustratingly calculated order, one after the other. It was probably supposed to bother him that it was highly probable that he had been coming to this place more than any other person in this village. The thought was starting to get funnier and funnier the more he repeated it in his head. And then it became downright hilarious because it was true and because this whole situation had truly turned hilarious. That in order to go talk to his friends and family, he had to come here.

Kakashi couldn't help the hitch of breathy laugh that came out of his mouth, like the air in his lungs tripped and fell under the invisible pressure in his chest.

He really hoped Obito and Rin were having a great time together because he sure wasn't as of late. And he really wanted to talk with them about everything. He smiled at the thought of them possibly observing him at the moment. They better, because he'd look pretty stupid hanging over their graves every week and speaking to the tombstones like they could make a change.

If he had to be honest, as weird it probably was to a chance visitor, he felt calmer talking to the stones like that. Telling Minato and Kushina how great their son had become and how he no longer needed protection. Telling Jiraya how he misses his humour because it was terribly lacking with Guy. Telling Obito and Rin he could use some of their understanding. They always listened him out without judging and always knew how to have fun. As he stopped in front of their stones, he sighed. He loved squandering his summer days with them, doing stupid things until dawn. Training together and protecting each other.

For a moment his eyes skimmed over the green area and sank deeper with the thoughts that came over to him again. Often, he'd find himself thinking about his father and it was a little vague now, the confliction of his mind and heart whenever he brought him up, all these times before. He thought about him with great fondness now and liked to talk to him from time to time.

Lately, he caught himself doing things, small mannerisms that he did unconsciously, always leaving a kunai dagger by his bed, looking back in on his way out of the apartment, spending time sitting in heavy dusk, and thinking… all these things, it occurred to him that his father had been doing them when he was a little. The thought was equally funny and curious. It was nice to think that even when Sakumo wasn't around, he still had such a heavy impact in his life. It made him feel somewhat better… and maybe less lonely in a way.

"Kakashi," A quiet, ringing laughter echoed from somewhere close, but he was still deeply connected with his memories, humming absently. "It's time you get out of this place. Come back to the living a little, ok?"

The soft words flowed through his ear and he blinked, shocked to find Sakura holding his hand and leaning sideways in order to catch his attention. Kakashi stepped back rapidly, quickly coming to his senses and taking a sharp breath. It must've been at least an hour since he came and he hadn't noticed how much time passed since then. He hadn't even noticed her coming this close… what happened to his stealth shinobi skills?

He gazed at her lean form, the long rosy hair she had tied loosely and the beaming, game smile she had on, expecting him to speak first. She was so vivid and colourful that it was unnatural to his brain at the start, to realize she was factually standing there, in the midst of the bland graveyard, in front of him, and that wasn't a hallucination or an image of his mind. She didn't fit in, not in this place. In his profound and extended experience, this place was reserved for silence and sorrow. That's why it took him so much time to respond.

"Sakura."

"Correct," She chuckled at his serious tone when he recognized her, at last.

Sakura appeared on the verge of laughing out loud because he sounded generally bemused at her presence. He didn't want to sound bemused or any kind of defeated at the moment so he coughed a little, to clear his throat.

"What are you doing here?"

Sakura raised a brow, the amusement never leaving her features. He failed at scaring her again. Not good.

"I love when you do that. It's cute." She said, out of nowhere and without a drop of remorse, and he had to furrow so that he doesn't have to feel impressed with her perfect shinobi skills. He might be failing at observation, but his pupils were unsurpassable and it surely had to count for something.

She loved it when he didn't know how to react because she wasn't twelve anymore? Yes. He was terrifically confounded about that fact in the last days. His reactions only confirmed her suspicions, he couldn't pretend she was little anymore. He was acting like it, but he didn't mean it and it showed. And failing to manage a simple conversation with her because she was way too… actually, why did she wear a dress? She rarely wore a dress.

His brief scrutiny didn't go unnoticed and Sakura looked down to herself and back up.

"You going somewhere?" Kakashi heard himself say before he put his hands in his pockets and looked away, to add a little colour of disinterest to his question.

"On a date. Why?"

Kakashi faced her, her carefree voice causing some strange, nauseating tumble in his stomach. He instinctively searched for her features, to find out if what she was telling is the truth. Because it was important for him to know... Her expression was perfectly peaceful and serious. She peered back at him, the intense viridian of her eyes enhanced a little more by a dark contour she had added artificially, and he just didn't dare breathe.

It was a very unfamiliar feeling to him, it closely resembled fear, but somehow a different type of it. Good thing was, he averted his eyes before it got uncomfortable. What was he supposed to say now? He didn't realize he put himself into a trap with that question. Anyway. It didn't matter what he said now so he could be honest, like he usually was. She was always in red in his dreams.

"Beautiful… dress." He glanced at her again, then looked down, fighting the urge to shake his head. It sounded better in his mind.

Kakashi heard her stepping closer to him and she came in sight, stopping inches away with a mirthless smile on her lips and clearly pleased with the compliment. Then her hand reached up to his mask and slowly pulled it down, the tips of her fingers passing over his nose and lips, then the chin and a little further down to his neck. He was so surprised that he froze completely. She's never done that before.

The touch was so gentle, it nearly made him sigh. It's been years since someone touched him like that, but he quickly discarded the thought. It was of those he couldn't afford.

"Beautiful face," Sakura whispered, her eyes resting on his lips for a while. Then she squinted a little. "You know, no one ever looks at me like that. Even patients who are dying in my arms." She paused, smiling to herself. "It gives me hope."

"It shouldn't. My intentions haven't changed."

"It's been you my whole lifetime," Sakura continued in her absent-minded tone as if he hadn't spoken at all. "And you thought I'd go on dates? Now?" She chuckled breathily, standing on her tiptoes. "When I'm… almost there?"

Her lips brushed against his lightly, but she backed away before his disapproval could take a verbal form.

"There's a meeting. Naruto wants you to attend too." She said quickly, seeing that his eyes glazed over with anger at her senseless act. "You weren't at your apartment so I figured you'd be here."

The pause extended as she proudly replied to his stare, still very much remorseless and just a tad playful.

Kakashi scowled at her, turning his back on her on his way out of the Cemetery. Why the hell didn't she start with that information? He had the feeling she didn't follow his track right away, watching him as he walked away. Letting her go that far was bad. For him, not her. She was happy. She was so happy that she was almost bursting at the seams. But he… he had clenched his fists, tense with the all this pressure she caused.

It cleared up to him, that she was well-aware of her dominance. Because he wouldn't dare oppose in fear that she'd wither and she wouldn't ever stop attacking. Sakura caught up with him, evening with his pace. When she looked her at her then, his fears confirmed, she had a genuine smile on her face.

Well, at least she was happy.

The attendants had almost gathered completely when they finally reached the Hokage Tower and climbed up to one of the meeting rooms — wide, oval rooms with enough places for all the Kages and their closest personal escorts. Kakashi thought it was a Konoha meeting with the Council only and remained surprised to find out it was an all-nations gathering. Naruto might've mentioned it to him, but he hadn't paid attention.

Shikamaru was the first one to bring them in and introduce them to the others, which he did flawlessly, but it was written on his face that he was already irritated trying to shuffle in-between everyone. Kakashi nodded at him and separated from the others for a while, to try and gather his thoughts together. The two elderly remnants of the Konoha Council Koharu and Homura sat in the corner in silence while Naruto quietly talked with Shikamaru. He suspected they won't intervene, but they often showed interest in the decision-making in the village. Kakashi caught Tsunade's gaze from the other side of the room and she nodded at him.

Sakura greeted the Tsuchikage warmly and leaned back on the window, waving at Naruto to get his attention. Her eyes questioned him with something, but Naruto shrugged. It left Sakura with a small furrow of worry. Then she sank in, growing pensive. Naruto sighed, stepping closer to the circle of people.

"Welcome to all. I know these kinds of meetings are done on the Union meetings, but I didn't think we need to go there. The threat is not that great. The missing-nin is only partly the reason that I gathered you all here."

"Does anyone know of his whereabouts at the moment?" Gaara asked, impatiently. "Because I have pressing issues at my own village and this is becoming a nuisance."

"I know. I promised to deal with it." Naruto tried to calm him down.

"Hey, it's not his obligation alone to take care of missing-nins like that." Shikamaru stepped to Naruto's side, folding hands. "As far as I know, The Five Nations should work together."

"We are," Kurostsuchi confirmed, lifting her hand to stop them from raising their intonation. "It's just that this chase went on for too long and I consider appropriate to just go find this shinobi myself at this point."

"The problem is dealt with," Naruto professed, louder. "Calm down."

Kakashi narrowed eyes at him. Was he lying to them? That wasn't a thing he'd lie about, especially to those people. Sakura exchanged glances with him, just as confused as himself. So she didn't know anything. Shikamaru seemed calm and collected. Strange. The tension in the atmosphere loosened sensibly at Naruto's words.

"It is not why I gathered you here," Naruto added, taking a breath. "I wanted to establish some way of dealing with this kind of issues that involves everyone. Clearly, our system doesn't work and everyone's grown too busy taking care of their own lands, their own borders and their own villages."

"I agree." Gaara nodded. "We have become too independent and it backfired."

"I have a proposition that you might find unattractive at the start," Naruto said, resting his hands at the back of the couch. "I ask you to consider it thoroughly and if you're not ready with an answer, I can schedule another meeting."

"Let's hear it." Darui, the Raikage, finally spoke out.

Naruto silently agreed to give the word to Shikamaru as he was better prepared at speaking on Union gatherings like that.

"Instead of having every Nation panic over missing-nins and chase them endlessly until they are no longer within reach, we propose that the Union should free the passage through the borders between the lands for all shinobi."

He stopped, eyeing everyone's tangible concern, but continued before the commentary starts.

"We know that is a big leap of faith for everyone, but it will guarantee an easier and quicker way of dealing with missing-nins and criminals. They pass the borders carelessly, while we can't... not without permission of the certain Nation. It slowed us down for months."

The silence extended and Kakashi examined the faces for a while. All but Gaara seemed ready to deny the proposal. As for himself, he thought it's a great idea. It was ridiculous how borders still were an obstacle between the Nations, after all these years. They were supposed to work as one and help each other. Plus, they wouldn't allow the free passage of people of all kinds and professions. Only the shinobi. Which makes perfect sense.

"I have a question." The Tsuchikage smiled at Naruto condescendingly, but her quiet voice was severed by a loud swishing noise and a cold current of air. Kakashi stood alert and all of the Kages stood up, in a fight-stance as a sudden vortex formed in front of the door and two blurry, dark figures appeared abruptly.

Both of them were cloaked, but the first one appeared first, tumbling down on the ground, and the second one stepped out quickly after. Sasuke had a little blood on his vest and his Rinnegan and Mangekyo glowed with anger, but he was too distracted to notice all the attendants, going straight for his target again.

He sheathed his sword and a swirl of violet chakra shifted into a claw that he used to grab by the neck what seemed to be a young boy in his early twenties, a shinobi of Sunagakure, judging from his scratched band, and lift him up so that he could stand on his feet. Shikamaru's shadow clenched him right away and he was paralyzed. His breathing was laboured from the supposed fight he's just had, but his young features darkened when he noticed all the ones he's been stealing from were in the room. The defeat was in his eyes.

"Always with the cool entrance," Naruto murmured and Sasuke flinched a little, stepping away from the missing-nin. He finally had time to look around.

The sight of all the Kages together stupefied him a bit and he bowed curtly at them before turning to Naruto, still breathing heavily.

"All the stolen artefacts and scrolls are with him."

"Thank you." Naruto drawled, and the view was slightly comical because they looked at each other at a loss. It was a really bad timing and a really bad place as well, to thrust a criminal to the gathering like that. "Stay for a while. The meeting will be over soon. I've gotta talk to you about… manners."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, discarding his eye powers. His gaze skimmed over the silent majority of shinobi around him as he walked to the window where Sakura reached out for him with worry.

Her healing chakra illuminated without permission and Sasuke shivered with surprise, interlocking his eyes with Sakuras. Her features contorted with a forced smile as he leaned in and whispered something to her. Kakashi could hear Naruto's voice speaking, but he was out of focus, observing his team members with kindled curiosity.

There was a very reserved, but mellow softness that Sakura acquired when she was talking with Sasuke and when he was close to her. He had high hopes for it for a couple of years, in fact, believing it would be the reason for an outworldly powerful match and the beginning of the long lost happiness of both Sakura and Sasuke. He worried that she might remain unhappy without him and that Sasuke might never find an anchor to keep him sane and hopeful as the one that Sakura offered.

But then he chose redemption, thinking it's only fair. Kakashi approved to whatever he chose, as long as it doesn't hurt him and as long as he remains loyal to Konoha, but when the weeks passed, he saw what his absence did to Sakura. She was eighteen, one year after Sasuke had gone abroad, when she stopped smiling. There was nothing that could be done anymore. And she didn't smile for years, not on her friends' weddings, not when they made Naruto a Hokage nor when she became the chief of the Hospital.

She was eighteen again when he went to visit her one afternoon and they walked together. He only wanted to distract her, but he seemingly did much more. Sakura smiled to him that day. With her eyes sparkling anew and with bubbling curiosity. The only times when she smiled was when she saw him.

Kakashi shifted his eyes from the two, absent-mindedly following the lively discussion on the punishment of the missing-nin and the consideration that he might not be of full age. (He refused to talk so they had no way of knowing.) Kakashi was relieved, and it killed him to feel like it, but it was the truth.

During the last decade, Sakura has always been polite with Sasuke, but never tender. He had always had this urge to follow her closely, ever since he was entitled to be a sensei to Team 7. With all the godlike potential of Sasuke and Naruto, he had this strong conviction that lied low at all times, that however powerful she might become, she'd always be like a feather between the two sides of a vice, both physical and emotional.

So he needed to know where she was, what she did and how she was faring, at all times. He helped her and saved her life numerous times and when she passed the point where she was stronger than him and could save herself, he was left with this void inside. Kakashi still wanted to help her and be around her when she required any kind of support, but the game changed drastically. Doing those things had completely different implications at that point.

Now, he didn't know what to do with that void. It had started to consume him. Sakura indicated an alarming call for his presence again, but this one time he couldn't oblige.

"I think we should vote already." Shikamaru sighed.

"I don't think we need to do that, actually." Kurotsuchi looked to the other Kages for affirmation and she got it, with all the nods she received. "It's clear that borders are a big issue and it's only wise to agree on your proposal. We all agree on it."

"There is no need to schedule another meeting as well." Gaara stood up and shook hands with Naruto, who was beaming.

"That's great!"

Soon the meeting ended and Naruto talked with all of the Kages separately, to thank them for the vote of trust and return to them whatever was stolen, before letting Shikamaru send them off. They agreed that Gaara was the one who would take the missing-nin to Suna and put him on trial. He didn't deserve a death penalty as he hadn't killed anyone, but he was likely going to be imprisoned for a while.

Kakashi was about to leave when he noticed the sign Naruto gave him to wait for a little. So he sat in one of the couches and occupied himself with silent observation. It was a rare sight, to have his team together in one room and it sure was entertaining. Naruto didn't even wait for a second after the last guest left before turning to Sasuke and pointing at him with vivid accusation.

"How many times do I tell you to stop warping into my meetings like that, dumbass?" Naruto yelled, making Sasuke blink against him and quickly acquiring a very offended air.

"I got you the stupid missing-nin."

"Yeah, but… the Kages?!" Naruto gestured all over the room, with a disturbed and questioning intonation. "If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to win their trust and you're scaring them with all your—with your weirdness!"

"I have to go," Sasuke announced nonchalantly, nodding to Sakura and she smiled blandly.

"I'm on my way to the Hospital too so... see you later, Naruto." She sighed, walking to him and giving him a tight hug, which he accepted gladly, even though his glaring eyes were on Sasuke all the time.

Sasuke, on the other hand, stood with his hand on the katana and watched the scene with a slight furrow. Then Sakura turned around, her eyes shifting from Sasuke to Kakashi and back in brief confusion like she was hesitating whether to offer the same to them, but her face darkened with a rosy blush and she quickly headed for the door, where she stopped again, facing them again as if remembering something important.

Her head tilted a little and she laughed, the same pleasant, soft ringing he heard earlier today. Her teeth dug into her lip when she suddenly looked directly at him and he could give everything to hear what she was thinking about.

"All my favourite boys in one room," Sakura mouthed, and with another smile meant specifically for him, she left.

Sasuke slowly turned on heels, to look at him and Kakashi could sense all his muscles tensing under that obsidian, merciless gaze. He's always had that sharpness to him that all Uchiha had. Itachi had it too. That cavalier, nearly sadistic look. Like he was naturally superior and his world wasn't divided into friends and enemies, it was divided into masters and subordinates.

Did she really have to do that? What was with her today anyway? Sasuke was one of the smartest people around and she knew it. Her insinuations were painful enough when it was the two of them only, but now that she carelessly scattered them in public, it all started to feel mildly disturbing. Without speaking any further, Sasuke walked away too, amidst the heavy silence.

When Kakashi looked at Naruto, he was already pouting at him. Great. Now all three of them were disappointed in him.

"What did you want me to stay for?" Kakashi asked, already tired enough to not be even hungry. He had successfully predicted that this day would be hellish and long and a potential disaster.

"How do you think?"

"I'm going home, Naruto." With a sigh, he stood up and walked to the door. At this point, he hoped it's not another mission because he really wanted to lie down under sheets and read about hot, consensual sex all day.

"He is her age, possibly the strongest shinobi in the world after me — and I'm already taken — and even I can admit he is better-looking than most of us here. She is going to marry him some time, you know," Naruto made a dramatic pause. "Oh, and he also wants strong heirs for his clan. Who do you think he'll pick when he comes to his senses? Hanabi?"

Kakashi had to stop in his track and furrow. Was he supposed to talk like that about his sister-in-law?

"She's pretty but as good as a villager. Teuchi has more grit than her. She's not a hundredth as strong as Sakura."

"Stop," Kakashi commanded, facing him.

"Why are you doing this to her?" Naruto continued, with a small shrug. "She's my friend and I'm worried about her. Do you know what she told me when we got drunk last night on Hinata's birthday? That she feels like she's useless. That there's something wrong with her and that's why nobody who matters to her wants her."

The words echoed through the room and quenched the anger that just washed through him. Now he wanted to retort, badly, staring back at Naruto with bitterness, but he couldn't say a word because of the tightness in his throat. All he could do was leave before Naruto says anything more. And that's what he did.

A/N: Long chapter, if you find any mistakes please tell me because I had little time to edit, of which I'm terribly sorry, and thanks a lot for reading too! Ugh, I really wanted to have a bit where Sasuke is just straight up judging Kakashi silently and Kakashi being slightly afraid because not Tsukuyomi torture again, please? and it turned out kinda fun to write it lol I hope you liked it!