Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

V.

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It was sometime in the afternoon, but fairly chilly under the old, vast crowns of the trees over his head. His eyes were closed as he sat with his legs crossed and breathed in calmly. The air was pleasant and smelled like grass even though he wasn't very deep into the forest. In fact, he was close to the old training ground of Team 7. He liked that place, not because of the fond memories, but because it was peaceful. Peaceful was hard to find these days since Naruto had turned his childhood Konoha into a major city.

What disturbed that peacefulness was a familiar voice, calling his name from afar with an annoying tone to it.

"Kakashi!" It was Guy, yelling his lungs off somewhere still very far and away. "Come out on the meadow already!"

How about no, huh? Kakashi took another slow breath and counted a few seconds before releasing it. Birds were chirping somewhere above him and he enjoyed the echo the sounds created. The quiet presence of life rustling through his ears.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi opened his eyes, letting out an exasperated grunt. Why?

"Kakashi!" Then again, louder, making his heart beat faster. "Come out, I gotta talk to you."

He closed his eyes again and focused on the mass of chakra inside of him. It was like a whirlpool and it moved all over his body, gathering strength and increasing in power, crawling underneath his skin and flowing ceaselessly. His heartbeat was unsteady against his chest, but he held on to the focus, guiding it into one, feeling it fusing at his centre with some sort of constant pressure and familiar magnitude. A feeling of control that he had always liked—

"Kakashi, come out right now!"

For a split second, the dappled shadows were exchanged by a consuming and blinding white light and a thunderous, crackling noise that followed it. The purple nuance came a second after as an afterglow against his eyelids, and it spread like a deadly spider web in all directions, burning its way through the forest within an indefinite diameter. Then it disappeared, as quickly as it came.

He had tested the lightning's range before, but he wasn't sure how far he reached now. Guy was visible now, far away across him and he stood in silent awe, looking around in confusion — the nearest to him trees who hadn't incinerated had already started groaning and cracking, on their way of collapsing with the severe purple scorching wave that hit them.

Overall, he still wasn't content with the range. It needed more expanding. But it was fine for now. On the other hand, a very sudden, needle-like pain appeared in his right hand, the one he used the lightning with, and when his eyes fell on the source, he found that he still wasn't as used to the lightning pulse as he wished to be. His hand was heavily burned.

The sound of wheels rustling against the grass near him from aside, but he didn't bother to look or greet his friend as he considered it unnecessary at this point. He was not in the mood for talking anyway. Especially in the presence of someone who didn't know what silence is.

"Did someone steal your book or something?" Guy raised a majestic brow, eyeing him up and down. "Why so angry?"

"I'm not." Kakashi glanced up at him, and then down at his hand again.

"I haven't seen you angry in years."

"I'm not angry," Kakashi emphasized, curtly, and ripped the matter of his left sleeve (as his right had completely melted) in a single, sharp movement, proceeding to loosely wrap it around his palm and grind his teeth at the unpleasant, jolting pain that sent shivers down his spine. The skin was practically falling off with the burn. Great.

"Yeah, you said that already." Guy paused, then took another breath. "Didn't know you've expanded the technique that much." Then he sank in, speaking more to himself and with a bitter undertone to his voice. "You are the elite genius of our generation, I'll admit that!"

With a furrow, Kakashi looked up to join him in the observation and his furrow only deepened. The silence prolonged and he realized the sound of the birds he had been hearing a couple of minutes ago had disappeared fully… whatever life there was in this part of the wood, it was now fried with his electricity. The thought was supposed to shift something in him, he knew, but it didn't. He felt nothing.

"What are you so angry about?"

"I'm not angry," Kakashi said, eyeing the improvised dressing. He couldn't' decide whether it was more tragic or funny.

"The protégé you're platonically overprotecting for the last two decades?" Guy asked, his fingers drumming on the armrest absently. The continuous silence forced him to look up to his friend and find him staring back blankly.

Guy wasn't in the least bothered, affording to smirk as his eyes strayed away to the mowed-down patch of forest they were sitting amidst. The remains of trunks stuck up with sharp and burned endings like black claws reaching out into the air. Smoke was still weaving from some of them.

"Don't give me that face, you know at least half of the village has been fantasizing about Sakura at some point of their miserable lives. They still do—"

"When he told you to confront me, Naruto forgot to mention that I know all of his tricks," Kakashi explained, standing up with the help of his unwounded hand. "No, I don't care what you have to say and yes, I am going to leave you hanging."

"You'll need to find a medic-nin for that, elite genius!" Guy turned the wheelchair with a loud tease, setting himself to look at Kakashi's back as he walked away in the middle of the conversation, as promised.

Kakashi repressed the urge to retort sardonically. And then this storming rage engulfed him as he strutted his way back to the lively part of the village.

What the actual hell?

It wasn't enough that everyone pounced on him with opinions and advice as if he ever looked like needing them, all seeming to be completely aware of his reasons and convictions, and of Sakura's too because they were also a very public matter lately as well, and now this… He didn't need a medic, he didn't need anything or anyone. He fared damn well all those years without endless, subsidiary wisdom from pseudo sages suddenly tossed in his face.

Where were they when he—

The thought deadened with an echo in his mind. If Naruto and all those who worked in his subtle propaganda-message team attacked him like that one more time, he promised himself to leave Konoha and not come back for a long time.

There wasn't a soul in this village that was aware what he's been through and he was not planning to go back there. In fact, it was all nice and calm up until a week, and now his serenity was ruined and everything was upside down. He was disturbed and he hated being disturbed, he was not himself and this image and these thoughts weren't his, he was uncomfortable with anger and it bothered him, he didn't want to get used to it.

And Sakura… she used to be so reserved and timid before that scene in the Woods. Something snapped in her then, she cried and then she changed again, shifting into a more demanding form, something he'd never seen in her before. It wasn't that she was desperate as much as she had sensed some kind of a crack, a fracture in his defence that she had recognized before him, and now took liberty at trying to break that defence completely without understanding its purpose. He had to fix this weakness, figure out whatever it was and wherever it came from, before it brings them all down.

His fists clenched when he entered the village through the gate and continued down the way with the same thunderous pace. The stinging sensation from the skin on his hand sent warm waves through his body and he embraced them, focusing his attention on the pain only. It was easier to forget about everything else that way.

He didn't need a god damn medic, he could even swear he was not going anywhere near that Hospital today.

Kakashi went straight to the sink in his kitchen when he arrived at his apartment and unwrapped the blood-soaked clothing, quickly going over the very calming fact (that he was very aware of due to his arduous experience with lightning jutsu) that pain from burns lasted a long, long time if not treated properly, and this one was hurting a lot. Alright, bad idea. Some of the fabric was stuck to the skin, and he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to try and peel it off as it felt like he'd peel a few layers of epidermis as well.

The flowing water came in touch with his blistered and reddened fingers and he shuddered. Thankfully, the fabric came off and he examined the charred patches all over his palm and the blood that had barely started to curdle around his wrist. His whole forearm was blistered and swollen, and he was well-aware water won't help him there. The bleeding wasn't severe, but he had to stop it somehow. Time to ruin another t-shirt, he thought and turned to look around his apartment.

Actually, he was pretty sure he had lint somewhere… he headed for the bathroom and was glad to find a long-forgotten kit in his medicine cabinet. Kakashi sat at the edge of the bathtub and slowly started wrapping the lint around his hand, his thoughts drifting off once again. It was tiring him out, all of this. Maybe he really needed to leave Konoha for a while and clear his head. It was a good idea, by all of his standards.

Upon finishing, he secured the bandage and sighed.

There.

It was going to hurt for weeks before it got better, but he managed it, on his own. It wasn't that hard.

His eyes turned around to look at the bathtub and all that was left was trying to estimate whether he was tired enough to skip directly to sleep, in broad daylight, which always sounded very alluring. All his muscles ached with the intense training he did, but then again… alright. He was tired of thinking now too.

They still do… they still do…

The voices echoed in his mind, but he was distracted and they died out somewhere in the periphery. Then sharp laughter, somewhere around him, and he turned around and turned again, but he saw nothing. It was strange laughter, forced laughter. It hurt him because it was familiar.

The darkness split into negatives, painful to his vision colours. The strain of his bindings was wrenching and sour and he struggled to breathe in under the massive pressure on his chest, but all he saw was the endless, vermilion cycle of two hateful, malevolent eyes. His mouth was dry when he tried to speak out. He turned to look up to the bloody red skies because it was all he could do.

The blink of the tyrant eyes released him and he fell on his knees, able to breathe again. The darkness changed a little, he was able to see. There was a body underneath him, pale and steady. Blood on her youthful features, stained all over her hair. Her hazel eyes had stilled into a peaceful, content blankness.

Oh, no. No… no.

You took her away from me. You killed her.

His heart broke all over again as he backed away in horror and disgust. He crawled away, further and further back to the dark. It suddenly facetted, dazing and blinding him. He got on his feet and ran away, but someone hit him, almost removing his balance. Then again, and he almost bent, stepping away. The figure was in shadows and he didn't hesitate to attack. He had a dagger with him and he was winning.

The darkness caved in and he cornered the shadow, pointing the edge against its neck triumphantly. There was this teen excitement in him, amusement at how easy it was to win and dominate, anticipation of all the pain he was about to exercise. He smiled, noticing the shift, the silvery glare of the armbrace, he was in his ANBU clothes again. The shadow was trapped against his blade when the darkness whirled again and he pushed the blade in.

"Help me." It whispered and the light finally came over, revealing a pair of sad viridian eyes and pink lips painted with blood.

Kakashi rasped with the sharp breath he took, waking up with the feeling of being clenched in a vice. He fought for breath for a while before he noticed that he lied in a half-full with water bathtub, clothes on… almost. His shirt was on the floor, but he hardly remembered how he ended up in the water and… asleep. He blinked once. Then twice. Then he jumped out of the tub and grabbed his shirt on the way out of his house.

It was dark outside when he ran out, and judging from the fairly quiet streets, it was sometime around midnight. He was still feverish with the images of this dream and all he could think about was how live it was, and how awful it was, and he wasn't thinking about anything else. All he wanted was to go see with his eyes… make sure this feeling wasn't justified. The streets were all the same to him from below so he climbed up on the rooftops, quickly finding his way through the maze of alleys and turns, breathing heavily and ignoring the swishing cold air cutting at his still wet skin.

He stopped, at last, perching on a familiar window and his eyes peered restlessly into the dark. Her room was dark… there wasn't anyone, the sheets were empty. His heart spasmed with bad anticipation, but his mind searched for a solution. Where else? Then he came up with an idea and for a moment he shook his head. Then he dashed in again, cursing himself mentally.

The anxiety pooled in his stomach and it made him faster. The Hospital lights were still on when he came close and stopped to look around. Medics were shuttling around in the quiet corridors, some talking and some stopping to look at his questionable wander and, surely, wasted appearance. He cared little for it, he cared to find her office. He did, in the end, pushing the door open with dread and hope.

Kakashi was motionless for a second, the bad assumptions running through his mind when he saw her form a little shrunk and her head leaned on her hands in a slouching pose. He stepped closer and kneeled, to take a better look before drawing a conclusion. A deep sigh of relief came out of him.

She was asleep.

The bright light in the room didn't seem to bother her, and he looked at her face as she breathed calmly. The violet circles around her eyes, the crinkles on her overall, the messy cluster of pink hair around her.

He stepped back again, walking away. It was best if he called the nurses to wake her up and it was better if she didn't see him now. But then he stopped on the threshold, abruptly, to turn to look at her again. It was that corrosive voice that spoke to him, the one at the back of his mind.

She felt like she's useless because nobody cared. They did, but… not like this. Not intimately. She would've slept all the hours of this night at the Hospital, she would've woken up without anyone knowing she hadn't returned home and she would've carried on saving lives without anyone appreciating the sacrificial life she lived. But he cared, he cared so much that it hurt him.

Kakashi returned to her and carefully put his hand under her knees, while the other gently slid under her arm to get a hold of her body. She breathed in, a slight furrow on her features as he slowly shifted her and lifted her off the chair. Sakura's hand loosely closed around the matter of his shirt as she leaned on him contently and she seemed to be only half-aware of what happened, which pleased him. He didn't want to wake her.

Her house was cold when he entered and searched for her bed in the dark. It was not hard to find and soon he laid her on it, switching the reading light on. Her soft, sleepy eyes blinked in confusion for a moment and then she almost refocused, finally aware of his presence. Still in her daze, she straightened up a little and looked around. Then at Kakashi, who was looking down at her without moving.

It was getting more and more awkward so he decided it was time to leave. Kakashi pivoted silently and walked away, already questioning his common sense. Whatever he had promised not to do today, came true and he was starting to feel out of any control.

He reached for the front door, but Sakura slid between him and the handle, both hands keeping the door shut and eyes pleading him to stay, in the quiet dusk. The half-light that came from her bedroom softly gilded the rosy locks around her pale face when she blinked a few times, making him realize her eyes were not some sort of jade jewels, as enchantingly as they coruscated.

She looked down, while he waged his inner battles, and gently took his poorly bandaged hand in hers, casting him a very mixed look of both astonishment and judgement. Her touch actually reminded him of how much that burn still hurt and he knew it was bound to influence his decisions.

"I know you want to leave and I'll let you," Sakura whispered, and he felt that there will be an ultimatum following so he waited for it, "but you'll allow me to fix this first."

Well, if he had to be honest, he had hoped her to say it. Suffering because of his own pride was relevant until he ran into her Hospital and carried her out of there. Now, it was going to be only stupid to refuse help. Given the fact that he really couldn't afford the time to let that heal on its own.

"Come," Sakura ushered him to the kitchenette corner of her small dining room and let him sit in one of her two chairs.

She stripped the white overall and tied her hair loosely so that it doesn't get in her way. The motions of her hands have always been very calming to observe, he thought, before she caught him looking and smiled a little. Sakura then disappeared in her bathroom, rummaging around, for what he expected to be a proper disinfectant. He had seen her use various substances before applying her chakra because it healed the skin but didn't have the ability to kill off a potential infection. Infection his stubbornness had probably ensued.

Sakura returned and quickly removed his hilarious bandage, treating the skin with her skilful fingers. The seconds of a clock ticked somewhere on the shelves behind him and he didn't like it.

"Thank you for always taking care of me, Kakashi." Her voice brought his attention to her face.

"You're welcome."

His even reply made her chuckle. She was finished with the lint soon and her vibrant chakra illuminated the space with soft green. He barely suppressed the sigh of relief.

"You know you don't need to."

"I know."

"It makes me very happy." Sakura smiled indefinitely. "I thought I'd share."

The noise of rustling and leaves rubbing against window reached him and all his muscles tensed, eyes darting up to the window across them with sharp alarm. Then they quickly shifted to the other window, on the far end, and then he stood up, stepping sideways so that he could check whether she had a window in her bedroom as well. His furrow deepened when he saw that she did.

"Hey, I'm not finished. What…?" Sakura's voice came closer to him as she neared and stepped in front of him, waving to get his attention. "Kakashi? Be still for a moment?"

He looked down at her and offered his hand again, to discard a little of the worry that had started forming on her features. "What's wrong?" Sakura's light sparked up again and she afforded to touch again. "A-are you alright?"

"I'm…" Kakashi didn't like that she had so many windows and ways for someone to come in. Maybe he had to stay… or maybe guard the house from outside so that it doesn't get suspicious or something… His mind was racing with the possibilities and refused to accept that this dream might've been just a dream and nothing more. But what if it was just a dream? Then he'd look terrifically stupid, trying to justify his decisions tonight. He came so far on a hunch. "I'm fine."

Sakura looked up to meet his eyes and the disbelief could be seen on her from miles. "Yeah." Her technique ceased as she made sure the skin looked healed and healthy again. She was being thorough in her touch, but he noticed it just now, taking a second away from his concerns.

One of her hands kept his palm opened while the other caressed the renewed skin, her fingers slowly going upwards over the veins and the fading scars, and downwards, all the way to the centre of his palm. Even with his mask on, he still felt overexposed under that touch. Also, she really had to stop because he was on the dangerous border of enjoying it.

"Sakura."

His voice startled her and she looked up. Then she acquired that look, like she didn't care for his admonishing intonation in the least.

Her tired eyes ran over his body with a spark of amusement, then admiration, then her face flushed a little and her lips pursed, and he needed a moment to comprehend what was going on. He traced her gaze and figured it out quickly. His clothes were still partly wet and the light fabric of his shirt stuck against the dark blue suit underneath like a slick second-skin and outlined everything there was to outline. As it probably coincided with the popular opinion, he was not exhibitionistic and he had always liked more to look than to be looked at.

Which all resulted in the rise of heat in his body. He was pretty sure his face was in some kind of pink when he looked away, everywhere but her face. Sakura suddenly came close and hugged him, and he almost escaped, freezing in place.

"What are you doing?"

"You seem very... very frightened." Sakura pressed herself to him, her hand resting on his back and her head fitting naturally in the crook of his neck. "I'm giving you a hug."

Kakashi decided to indulge her because she clearly wasn't going to let him go without a trial of some sort. A hug was bearable for him so he endured it stoically.

"Can I go now?"

Sakura backed away, this time the joy on her face had extinguished. Her young face always shifted into this sorrowful grimace whenever he left. He wished it didn't.

"Go." She nodded, wrapping hands around herself as if suddenly feeling cold.

As he struggled to evade the strange guilt he felt, leaving her like that, he thought that he most definitely had to stay outside her house for a few hours. Just to be sure.

A/N: Since I dedicated this fic on the more psychological side of Kakashi's (and Sakura's) mind and it will stay like that till the end, I feel like there are some things that fanfic writers leave out… a lot. Did you guys remember Kisame being at wonder how Kakashi's mind is still ok after Itachi's 72-hour torture (which basically translates as 'all others who went through this went mad')? Why is no one ever talking about these 72 hours? And why is no one ever connecting Kakashi's trauma-laid life with his compulsive porn-reading? I will.

Thanks for reading! And thank you so much for all the kind reviews, you guys are making me so happy with these!