Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

The Past: Weakling

She sat on the floor of her bedroom, knees pulled up to her chin, arms wrapped tightly around herself. The lights were off, plunging the room into darkness. The moon's rays seeped in through her window. The shadows it cast were her only company, as she tried to escape the chaotic feelings of helplessness that coursed through her body like a fever.

Hot tears and sobs had come and gone, but still, the ugly feelings remained, along with a terrible headache that wouldn't leave her. She felt sad, horrified, tired, angry. Weak. She felt . . . Lost.

She thought back to when her childish illusions of safety were broken completely. The attack on Konoha had started around mid-afternoon. Instead of cheering on her teammates for a fight well fought, she was left to scramble around the stadium, terrified that Suna-nin or Sound-nin would slice her throat open. The genjutsu had been easy to break out of, but when she became aware of the situation, she had frozen in disbelief and fright.

~ The haze was lifted as she sent a jolt of chakra through her system. Her eyes focused. Two rows down there was a Suna-nin standing in front of a sleeping Konoha citizen. She caught a flash of metal, and the spray of blood followed. She gasped.

The Suna-nin moved on to the next person. She quickly sent out shuriken in their direction. (She only had a few more of those shuriken and two kunai in her weapons pouch. She really should have packed more, but she didn't think she would ever need to in her own territory.) The enemy-nin deflected most of them, but one had lodged itself into their eye. They howled in anguish, and it only took seconds for them to find out where the attack had come from. She scrambled out of her seat in time to miss well-aimed kunai lodge themselves deeply where she had been. She ran, tripping over others that were asleep—or were they dead? Her mind couldn't tell the difference. Everything was bathed in blood. The Suna-nin following her caught up and slammed her to the ground. She struggled for freedom and breath, but they were stronger and heavier. As she saw the glint of their weapon, she felt frustrated that she had never gotten to accomplish her dream (later she would ask herself what this dream had been). She had gotten distracted by something else, or rather someone else—dark hair that spiked at the back and dark eyes that never smiled came to mind.

The Suna-nin suddenly fell atop of her. Dead. She struggled with finding her breath as shock and confusion washed over her like a tidal wave dragging her deep into their depths. She pushed them off and found a kunai embedded into the base of their neck. She looked around to find her savior but found that there were many battles ragging on around her. She could hear the cry of metal on metal, punches, whistling sounds, but it was all so faint as if she were underwater. Her heart was steadying and her breathe evening out. She looked around again and realized that Sound was also part of the attack against them.

She thanked the heavens for her life and swiftly tugged the kunai from the base of the dead Suna-nin's skull. The wet sound it made as it came loose made her grimace. Cautiously, she crawled to a better hiding spot. She needed to think.

Somewhere between finding a spot to hide and crawling through the stadium, deflecting stray kunai with the kunai that had saved her, she found herself breaking people out of the genjutsu.

A chakra jolt to somebody's arm or leg.

"Find cover. Sound and Suna are attacking."

On to the next person.~

She felt her mind whisper insidious things that sent her heart racing, but when she tried to recall what her subconscious was saying, she could only see the images of the carnage that she had been witness to. The people of her village who she had once seen so full of life, now staring at things unseen in the next life. Her nails dug into the skin of her arms and her face scrunched up into an ugly expression. She had never been a pretty crier, even if she was a renowned crybaby. Though at the moment she hardly thought that that was such a significant thing to worry about, and instead found comfort in the darkness of her room. The shadows couldn't judge her.

~ Kakashi-sensei had found her. Instead of being happy, she was shaken, as she saw him cut down his opponents with such ease. Killing was as easy as breathing to him, and she had never known this about her sensei until now. He was terrifying, and such a different character than the easy-going slouchy sensei that she was accustomed to seeing.

Zabuza's apprentice, Haku, passed by her thoughts, then. She vaguely remembered how he had professed to Naruto that he only wished to be the perfect weapon for his master. The perfect weapon. Kakashi moved with such strength and speed. The power that radiated off of him was terrifying. In that snapshot of a moment, he was the perfect weapon for his village. She was slightly in awe and revulsed by this. (She would lie to herself for a while and deny that bitter envy didn't creep into her heart.)

He instructed her to gather Naruto and Shikamaru to go after Sasuke and Gara. Sasuke-kun was in danger! She had to go help him, but as they—with the addition of other genin of the rookie 9—were all leaving, she saw a small group of civilians huddled in a corner. She recognized some of them as a few of the people that she had helped out of the mass genjutsu. She gasped as she saw that there were small children in the crowd. They would be killed if they didn't get out of there. There were too many stray weapons shooting about and too many enemy-nin.

"Leave without me, I have to do something."

Naruto protested loudly, but when she turned to him, he stopped. Whatever he saw in her pleading eyes was enough to sober him up. He nodded to her before telling her to stay safe. With or without his blessing, she would have gone, but she felt great love for her teammate as he accepted her decision. She picked up discarded kunai and shuriken from the ground to add to her arsenal.

"Follow the pug. Save Sasuke!"

With that said she left the group. When she approached the huddled civilians, they further cowered in fear. All ninja must have looked like the enemies at that moment. She made sure to keep her tone even.

"It's alright, I'm Leaf. We need to evacuate to the nearest emergency shelter. I can lead you there."

They looked terrified, and she could tell they were not keen on listening to her.

"If you stay here, there is a greater chance that you'll die." A woman sobbed and clutched her child closer to her bosom. "I'll protect you with my life."

She received a few reluctant nods, and with that, she pointed to the path that they would have to take. She cast a very low-level genjutsu illusion that appeared like there were more dead bodies around them. Hopefully, the enemy would give this area less attention if they thought that they had already ravaged through it. She advised them to keep their pace erratic and not run in a straight line. It would give them a better chance of survival.

She stayed in the middle in case the front or rear of the group was attacked. Thankfully the enemies did not pay them attention. All too busy fighting high ranking leaf officers. Every now and then, she had to deflect stray weapons from harming the group, but they eventually made it out of the seating area of the arena. She exhaled in relief. Now, to navigate the hallways and find the nearest exit.

She kept a clone of herself in front of the group and one behind, a self-made diamond formation. It was her warning method, in case of an attack. She reasoned that the enemy would strike at the illusion, alerting her of their presence and distracting them long enough for her to get a shot at them. And so, for many gut-wrenching moments of running and stopping, and then looking over maps and signs scattered around the building, they persevered and found a route.

They were nearing an exit when her rear clone was attacked. She quickly let reflex and muscle memory guide her as she threw a kunai aimed at the enemy's head. She missed but had instead made a target of his neck.

She heard the sounds of wetness and choking before a heavy thud was heard, and knew that she had killed their attacker.

Her first kill.

She didn't have time to stop, though.

Once out of the stadium, she found that the streets were also in pandemonium. The ground shook. Bombs? No, and yes. The vibrations she felt from the ground indicated that there was something big moving through the village. She calmed her group down and told them to follow her. They were in sector six, and the closest emergency shelter was five minutes from where they were.

She didn't know how they made it. Thankfully other Leaf shinobi matched the number of enemies that littered the streets and they all managed to keep on the route. They even picked up more civilians along the way. When they all made it to the entrance of the shelter, higher-ranking officers quickly ushered her group in.

"Jonin-san, what should I do now?"

"Rank?"

"Gennin."

"Inside. There are others taking names and handing out supplies. Go, help them."

She nodded. There was nothing more she could do, and that made her blood chill.~

Another wave of tears overtook her senses. She was tired of crying. Why was she even crying? The life of a shinobi was like this. They had warned her of this at the academy, so why hadn't she understood it as she did now?

Maybe because now, she understood the consequences of other people's actions, of her actions. Now she knew that the peace that she had once taken for granted had always hung on such a thin thread. Anything and anyone could disturb that peace. Had she been more prepared, she could have made a difference. People she had once known were gone. Her elderly neighbor, who had been at the hospital for pneumonia, the two young children who sold flowers at the market, her fellow genin, Lee, who had also been at the hospital. There were so many—countless others—but at this moment those faces are who she saw when she closed her eyes. She couldn't even picture the two children as they had been before because she had actually seen their mangled bodies after the invasion had failed and the enemy had retreated. She had promptly let out all the contents of her stomach onto the ground and then took note of her pounding head, which still plagued her. She chalked it up to shock and was slightly relieved that she had not seen Lee's body. She didn't know how she would have handled that.

She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of Lee's teammates. From what she gathered, he hadn't even been conscious when he died. He had been in a medical coma to help him heal from Gara's attack during the preliminary fights. A bomb had been planted in the hospital, and it had destroyed a good portion of it—Lee's body and countless others, including her elderly neighbor, had been found among the wreckage.

~ It had been a day since the attack, and already the news of their Hokage's death was still on the lips of many. The funeral would be held in a week. She hoped Naruto and Sasuke would be up before then. She knew Naruto had had a close relationship with their departed Hokage. He would want to be at the funeral.

She was informed by her sensei that they had sustained non-life-threatening injuries but did have severe cases of chakra depletion. She was glad that they were alive. She didn't know what she would do without them. She was even starting to miss Naruto's antics, which was saying something since she always ended up yelling at him.

She wanted to be there when they woke up. With her mind made up, she made her way to the hospital. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw rows of medical tents stationed outside of the building, but what shocked her the most was that a portion of the building was caved in.

She instantly thought of Lee. He would have been at the hospital during the invasion. She needed to know if he was okay.

She asked around, but many were too busy to pay her any mind. She almost gave up hope, until an elderly man told her there was a list of casualties posted on a board set up in front of the hospital. She ran to where she had been pointed to. The list was long. She ran her fingers down it, reading each name she passed.

Ito, Mayu. She frowned sadly. That was the name of the old woman who lived beside her.

She kept reading, and after a few names . . .

Rock Lee.

Her heart dropped. She almost couldn't believe it.

She didn't get the chance to properly thank him for saving her. She would never be able to tell him.~

Her room was no longer plunged in darkness. A new day was beginning, its gloomy glow filling the space where tall shadows had kept her company. Her eyes would surely be swollen, but she was tasked with helping with village repairs today. She would be wearing goggles, and nobody would notice. Even if they did, she wasn't the only one in the same state.

At least, she would be meeting up with her team later. They would get through this together.