Yes I know we are the worst.
Hi people. Mark here. Me and Alexis are deeply sorry for the wait on this chapter, but life got in the way of everything. While we were writing this chapter I went through a pretty bad break up which led to me not being in the right mind to write this story. Plus a little while after that I got appendicitis and I have been in and out of the hospital since the end of September, so writing has been difficult. And my partner for this story Alexis has had some rough family drama on her end (she'll talk about it in the next chapter) so writing wasn't the easiest for either of us. But we're here. We're not dead. We can upload.
Okay let's get on with this story.
Disclaimer: We do not own Jessie.
Chapter 3: Break to Pieces
Luke is slowly brought out of his deep, dreamless sleep when someone shakes his shoulder softly. He blinks a few times as his eyes come into focus. Everything in his memory seems foggy and distant, and he finds himself struggling to remember where he is and why he's there. All he is fully aware of is his current exhausted state and the feeling of warmth and comfort surrounding his entire body. He looks around him, trying to make sense of everything. He notices the multicolored hospital chairs surrounding him, some empty and some occupied. The walls around him are white with subtle paintings and posters placed in a delicate fashion. He can hear the sounds of people walking from place to place, discussing what must be important details to each other. He can hear small and distant hospital sounds; beeping, buzzing, wiring, groaning, moaning.
The events from the night before suddenly hit Luke, and the blurry feeling he has turns into sudden panic, anxiety, guilt, and depression. Everything that happened flashes into his memory like a quick slide show.
He tries to sit up but feels something weighing on him, preventing him from moving from the comfortable position he's in. He looks around himself, spotting a pair of arms wrapped around his body in a protective manner. He looks to the body the arms belong to and suddenly remember the last thing that happened before he fell asleep. He remembers pouring his heart to Jessie and crying into her loving embrace while she soothed him until he fell asleep.
Luke fell asleep in the exact same position with Jessie's arms hugging him close to her and his head resting comfortably on her chest, and his arms clinging to her.
He rubs the sleep out of his eye before sitting up fully, breaking the hold Jessie had around him and waking her up as well. He yawns and stretches his limps, popping a few joints in the process. Sleeping in a hospital waiting room chair was not the best place to sleep at all. Luke rubs at the stiffness in his neck, caused by leaning over for so long.
When he looks over to the cause of his waking, he sees a sleepy looking Emma standing next to him, a near blank expression on her face. She's wearing the same clothes from yesterday (which is surprising because this is Emma we're talking about) with her hair tied into a messy bun and her makeup smudged and rubbed off. He's never seen her in such a messy look in all his 16 years of living with her. She's always been neatly put together, and always poised. Now she looks like she's falling apart.
Ironic.
"The doctors want to talk to us Jessie." Emma's voice is soft and shallow, lacking its usual lightness and charm. She nods her head in the direction of the waiting room entrance, where two doctors and a nurse stand, watching the family expectantly. Jessie doesn't allow herself more time to fully wake up. She's out of her seat in seconds and making her way to the patiently waiting doctors. Luke, Emma, and Zuri (Bertram still MIA apparently) follow suit, stagger behind her. The thickness of the tension in the air can easily be cut by a knife. They each want to say something to each other. Something to break the tension and ease their minds. But somehow, they know that speaking is hopeless at a time like this.
Luke can barely feel his fingertips because he's shaking so much. He wanted so bad to know what was going on with his brother, yet now that it is time to deliver the news, he's reluctant to find out. What would he do with himself if Ravi's state was fatal?
Luke pushes his reluctant thoughts to the back of his mind as the family approach the two doctors awaiting them. The one standing closer to them, a middle aged Asian woman, greets them with half a smile. "Good you're all awake. We didn't want to deliver any news without all of you conscious, or without an adult present." She sounds way too chipper to be delivering news on Ravi's condition after his attempted suicide. She starts flipping through the folder in her hands. "I'm Dr. Sato and this is Dr. Lauder. You're all here for Ravi Ross, correct?"
Jessie nods. "Right."
The doctor nods. "Alrighty then." She continues to flip through the folder, taking longer than necessary to deliver the news on their brother as if she knows the anticipation has been killing them. Luke can feel beads of sweat roll down his back as he watches the doctor flip through the folder, wondering what it says in there. She reads through her files and mumbles a serious of unintelligible things under her breathe before finally addressing the family. "So we had to perform a blood transfusion on him, which wasn't easy because he lost a dangerous amount of blood." She's gives them a wide, reassuring smile. "Thankfully, I had a good team of doctors in the operating room."
The group collectively let's out the breath they weren't aware they were holding. They had been prepared to hear the worst news (and scared of hearing it too), but judging by the doctors words and the tone of her voice, Ravi is going to be somewhat okay.
The second doctor, Dr. Lauder, began to speak, sounding less soft and cherry than Dr. Sato. "We thought that we would have a harder time with the transfusion actually. However, Mr. Ross's blood type is AB negative, the universal recipient." He takes his glasses off and puts them in his lab coat. "The operation went well enough, and Mr. Ross is in stable condition at the moment."
Jessie places a hand on her fast beating heart and lets out a shaky breath. She had been so scared that they weren't successful and that they had lost Ravi. She can't imagine how much life would literally fall apart if that happened. Ravi is such a huge part of the family. Losing him would leave an unfillable hole in the family, and would completely damage each family member.
"Thank you so much!" Jessie says to the doctors gratefully. They nod in return. "Are we allowed to see him?"
"We can only allow one family member at a time to be with him." Dr. Sato explains.
The family nods and Jessie turns to the kids. She wants to be the one to go in and see Ravi, but she knows it's only far for the kids to be able to decide who gets to see him. They shouldn't be excluded because she's an adult and they're not. "Okay guys. Do you want to discuss amongst yourselves who gets to see Ravi first?"
She looks between the three Rossi kids, taking in how much damage the situation has done on them. Emma for one does not look like herself at all. Her hair is in a messy bun (and not the kind of messy bun that looks good and stylish. The kind that looks like a birds nest). She must have washed her face or something, because her makeup is smudged, running, and rubbed off. Her eyes are bloodshot (probably from lack of sleep) and her face is puffy from crying. Her hoodie is hanging off one shoulder with the sleeves damp (probably from crying into them). She looks like she aged a couple years overnight.
Zuri isn't doing too well either. Throughout the night she ran her hand through her hair maybe a thousand times, messing up the curly pattern and causing it to frizz. She has dried tear marks on her cheeks from crying in her sleep. The nail polish was scratched off her nails, and she had bitten her nails to a nub. The bags under her eyes seem out of place on her 12 year old face, and her dark skin is unusually pale.
Luke is probably in the worst condition out of all of them. His whole body seems deflated, as if all the life was sucked out of him. His hair has flattened on the side he was sleeping on. His eyes are downcast, staring hard into the floor and not making eye contact with anyone. He is still drowning in fear, guilt, self-loathing, and anxiety. He is practically shivering in fear, trying his best to calm himself by controlling his breathing. He looks on the verge of a panic attack.
The kids have never been this distorted before and it tears Jessie apart.
The kids look at each other, nobody really wanting to say anything. "Guys it's okay." Jessie says. "Just don't start to argue over who gets to—"
"I think Luke should go." Emma says, shocking both Luke and Jessie. His head shoots up and he looks at Emma wide eyed as if he was just woken up.
"Me too." Zuri nods in agreement. She turns to Luke. "I think you need to see him more than anyone."
Luke just stares at his sisters in disbelief. After the way he treated Ravi and how he played a major part in driving Ravi to suicide, why do they think Luke even deserves to see Ravi? They should be putting him down, and blaming him for causing Ravi to try to kill himself. They should be banning him from even being near Ravi. Why are they allowing him to be the first to see their brother after the surgery?
"Are you guys sure?" Jessie asks. It's pretty strange for them to be so selfless, especially to each other. But seeing the circumstances, she's not all that surprised that the girls are being kind.
Zuri nods with a sad smile. "Yeah. We'll be alright. We'll just go make sure Bertram isn't in a food coma somewhere."
Jessie chuckles. "That's really nice of you two." She can't agree with their decision more. After her heart to heart with Luke the night before, Luke needs to be the first to see Ravi. He needs to be there when Ravi wakes up so he can see that none of this is his fault and that Ravi knows Luke doesn't hate him.
Jessie is almost certain that Luke wants to be the first to see Ravi. After the night they've had, Luke probably won't ever leave Ravi's side ever again. So she doesn't understand why Luke is frozen in his spot with a scared, hesitant look on his face. He looks like he's too afraid of going to see Ravi, or as if he doesn't feel he deserves to be with his brother. Jessie stands beside him and wraps her arm around his shoulder, giving him a squeeze.
"It's okay Luke." She whispers to him with a small smile. He glances over to her for only a second before staring into the floor again. "You should go see your brother. There's nothing to be afraid of." Jessie tells him with as much reassurance as she can muster. Luke looks over to Dr. Sato who gestures for him to follow her with a kind smile. With shaky steps, he begins to follow her out of the waiting room. Before he walks out, he looks over his shoulder at his family, tears stinging his eyes. They all look completely wrecked, broken, and disheveled. They look sad and tired and worn out. He caused all those things to happen. He triggered their pain.
Yet here they are, being so kind and selfless towards Luke. They aren't angry with him like he thought they would be. They aren't making him feel worse about himself than he already does. It baffles him how they don't hate him for causing this, but at the same time he's relieved that they are showing as much sympathy as possible.
He doubts that Ravi even wants to see him. Ravi will probably become upset when he sees Luke. But Luke follows Dr. Sato out of the room anyway because he knows that if he doesn't go now, he might not have the courage to go ever again.
Once Luke and Dr. Sato are gone, Dr. Lauder turns to Jessie, his expression less pleasant. "If you don't mind Ms. Prescott, I'd like to speak with you about the next steps in Ravi's recovery."
Emma and Zuri look at each other and leave the room after declare they would search for Bertram, leaving Jessie and Dr. Lauder alone. Once they are left alone, the doctor leads Jessie over to a set of chairs where they sit. "You understand the severity of the situation, right?"
Jessie nods and clears her throat. "Right."
Dr. Lauder nods. "Right. Now certain procedures will need to be taken once Ravi wakes up." Dr. Lauder starts. "First we will need to run tests on him to check his mental and emotional state, and he will be placed under 24 hour watch until we are certain he isn't at risk."
"Wait what are you saying?" Jessie furrows her eyebrows in confusion. Everything he is saying sounds like something done to a patient in a mental institution. "Are you saying that Ravi is mentally unstable?"
"No, no!" The doctor says quickly, realizing the misconception. "Not at all. This is just something we are required to do with every suicidal patient to make sure they aren't at risk of harming themselves or attempting at suicide again." The doctor explains. "Right now it is essential that this procedure is done with Ravi because he is higher at risk."
Jessie nods, understanding a bit more. All they will be doing is making sure Ravi doesn't try to kill himself again. She doesn't want to think about the possibility of Ravi trying to commit again, but she doesn't want to take any chances. "But why is he higher at risk?" She asks. He hasn't tried to committee more than once. This has been the only time he has ever attempted.
"Well, we had to take into account a few other factors that we found." The doctor continued to explain. "For instance, there are a number of scars scattered all over Ravi's arms, some faded and some fresh, and we're almost 100% sure that they were self inflicted." Jessie's heart sinks as Dr. Lauder speaks. She pictures a distort Ravi slicing away at his arms with the same razor he used to cut open his arm. She almost instantly feels dizziness take over her at the thought of him doing something like that to himself. She wishes she noticed a change in Ravi before all of this. But he concealed everything so well. Even the scars.
"We're assuming that although there has never been an attempt other than last night, suicide has been a thought to cross Ravi's mind more than once." Dr. Lauder continues. "And there's a high chance that he might be suffering from depression.
"Most hospitals would place someone in Ravi's condition on heavy drugs to secure his mental state. However I don' believe that will be necessary in Ravi's case." Jessie sighs, glad to hear the somewhat good news. She would hate to see Ravi become a zombie to those types of pills that are said to sedate your mood. It would completely change Ravi into something he's not.
"Now, what we can offer is therapeutic treatment." Dr. Lauder opens his folder and starts writing something down. His pen moves quickly across the page as he speaks. "I recommend Ravi see a therapist a few times a week, and attend group therapy once a week. Anything that might cause Ravi stress or discomfort should be removed from his surroundings. Maybe an extracurricular activity to distract him from his burdens." He hands Jessie the paper he was writing. She takes it and looks over it, taking in the neat loops of his cursive handwriting. She's unable to imagine Ravi having to go through any of this, and is still in disbelief that he even attempted to end his life in the first place.
"Do you have any questions for me Ms. Prescott?" The doctor ask.
Jessie stares at the papers in her hands for a moment before clearing her throat and responding. "Uhh, no. I think you covered everything." She gives him a weak smile.
He nods. His eyes are filled with sympathy for Jessie. He feels bad for the whole family. Having to deal with something like this is never easy to do. He's had to take care of many suicide patients in the past, someone making it and some not, and never has he felt so much sorrow for the family experiencing this. He has the urge to pull Jessie into a hug and soothe her until all of this is over, but he knows he can't do that. He has to keep everything as professional as possible. All he does is give her shoulder a squeeze. "Hang in there Ms. Prescott." He says before standing up and leaving her.
His words echo through her head. Hang in there Ms. Prescott.
Would she be able to hang in there? Or would she just break into pieces?
So this was originally supposed to be longer but since we were already super late on updating we decided this would be where we would leave things.
Okay I'm late for work so I need to rush things. Thank you guys for reading and being patient with us!
If you like it review. If you like it review! If you like it reviewwwwww!
-Bye Felicia